nelyafinwe

[nelyafinwe]

for all that is unholy - i spent one hour with my headphones on, during which the temperature here went from 33 to 29 degrees, and i had to take them off because i felt Sweat dripping from It

#sometimes i try to quantify the pros and cons of moving here for this job and always the biggest con is IT IS ALWAYS FUCKING HOT

[nelyafinwe]

anyways, love how my blog became 1. vagueposting about my life because if i go into details lots of people including me will be majorly fucked, but also 2. intermission for some thirst trap art or some inane meme. they both carry the same value in my hierarchy of needs.

[nelyafinwe]

Finrod

#oh hun i am in love #we all love a fierce 1st age elf amirite pals #finrod #silm

[nelyafinwe]

it's just. i am scared that my reaction (or lack thereof) to things that happen here, across [REDACTED], has been one of simple acknowledgment in a purely sensory kind. today was the first time i associated any emotions to what happens at [REDACTED] and it scares me it took this long for this to happen. i don't know what to do with this sudden awareness and it scares me.

#i am aware that i am talking in riddles #its part of my life as i know it and i know it #and i cannot be more specific

[nelyafinwe]

it's just, the work i am doing here, it is so much more. than just work. it is a lot. sometimes it is a lot. not because of the usual 'oh you finally went from a low level subordinate to someone who has subordinates' kind of way. no, no. i talk to them about things that i do not know how to deal with because i am at [REDACTED] and every week something happens to throw me off my axis. i cannot speak in more specific terms. because [REDACTED]

how are yall, i have been texting my ex bosses about fundamental fears about my psyche that i noticed ever since i moved here to [REDACTED]

thank all the deities, dead or alive, that my ex bosses are also friends. and some of the only people i know that might know how to deal with what i am dealing with right now. because in this field of work it is really not a lot of people that are going through the emotional turmoil i am going theough right now.

[nelyafinwe]

how are yall, i have been texting my ex bosses about fundamental fears about my psyche that i noticed ever since i moved here to [REDACTED]

thank all the deities, dead or alive, that my ex bosses are also friends. and some of the only people i know that might know how to deal with what i am dealing with right now. because in this field of work it is really not a lot of people that are going through the emotional turmoil i am going theough right now.

#also no i cannot elaborate it is [REDACTED]

[nelyafinwe]

oi, i wanna tattoo minuscule verses from tolkien's 'mythopoiea', more specifically, just 'myth-woven' and 'elf-patterned' but i kinda wanted it in quenya and i absolutely do not know enough quenya to do it. I don't even know if it's possible to get an approximate translation to 'elf-patterned'. 'Myth-woven'? maybe, but also completely out of my translation league (which is very puny anyways).

anyways if anyone has any ideas on how to translate this into quenya (tengwar) much appreciated, and not just because the last time i studied quenya was at least 5 years ago and now i need to learn [REDACTED] because of [REDACTED] and i don't have enough brain cells to keep up with 1. Fictional Language and 2. Actual Real World Language which happens to be Very Hard

Conclusion: want tattoo, not enough quenya knowledge, putting my current predicament out in the internet with meager hopes of reply

#good night

[nelyafinwe]

[nelyafinwe]

If im reading a 800 page book I should be freed of all other responsibilities in my life. Like sorry I can’t do that right now because im reading this long ass book. Yeah you know how it is

[nelyafinwe]

staff: our april fools joke this year is a silly feature that doesn't really do anything but give you a button to boop other users! they have to opt-in first though :)

me:

[nelyafinwe]

i cant fucking believe my silm shotposts from years ago are still getting notes

[nelyafinwe]

if yall interns get a junior boss: please know we are just as overwhelmed, panicked, and still doubting our career choices just as you are, but now we also gotta Supervise you and dude chum pal i really don't think i am qualified for that

also just for the sake of posterity

IT IS WEIRD TO HAVE INTERNS

[nelyafinwe]

also just for the sake of posterity

IT IS WEIRD TO HAVE INTERNS

[nelyafinwe]

one thing about where i am right now is whatever happens to Anyone is immediately known to Everybody Else in a matter of hours, so i don't even need to ask to know the entirety of [REDACTED] knows i've fallen from my fucking scooter and knows why i have been suspiciously absent from [REDACTED]'s watering hole for the past two weekends

[nelyafinwe]

[nelyafinwe]

(scene: me logging in for the first time in months, and it looks like i am raising from a coffin like a vampire)

anyways i'm working with [REDACTED] at [REDACTED] border with [REDACTED] war zone but most importantly i fell from my scooter and my knee is slashed open, i also hit my head (inside the helmet i was obviously wearing) but i still cut myself on the forehead and eyebrow after i fell, and i now have a really punk ass eyebrow slit but a scar on my forehead which i treat with scar cream and will cover up with silicone tape and also a hat whenever i go out for at least the next 3 months.

(scene fades: i lower myself down to my eerily ornate coffin, but this time i am wearing a straw sun hat, my face is glistening with copious amounts of sunscreen, my knee is bandaged, and i am covering my forehead scars with tape)

[nelyafinwe]

some of yall will be like “i dont care about your dreams, i dont care about your spotify wrapped, i dont want to hear about your interests, dont you dare talk to me about your trauma,” and its like. what do you even have friends for. bc it sounds to me like you dont give a shit about anything that makes them a person. what do you talk about.