nineinchnailsonchalkboard

[nineinchnailsonchalkboard]

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#i feel like im choking which is funny because i might #i am afraid of failing mostly really only because i want life to end most of all #i look around and see nothing that brings any sense of reason to stay other than the fear of being paralyzed with no one to help #ironically part of why i want everything to cease is why im scared of trying #i fear people and i fear not having them too because healthcare is expensive and what if all i need is someone to drive me but i have no on #what if all i need is to have a few people to talk to but there is no one i can tolerate #i feel like i need a proper device for that which requires moving far as fuck and i DONT NETWORK I DONT SOCIALIZE WELL #why is the human body not straightforward at all like why do some ppl thrash and others dont why do some feel fear and others peace wtf #what if i fucking thrash too much and then i need to observe the rest of the life i hate through the lense of a mostly dead one #i dont care about anything beyond that but im fucking livid about it being so hard. i need the thing..... the proper thing man i NEED one #this needs to be done properly and since i dont have a lovely fucking proper ass drop device im not fucking sure how to instinct-proof it #i cant believe i may move for this but i might need to move anyway so what difference if it's 1 or 3 hours i still wont know anyone

[nineinchnailsonchalkboard]

they say to dream big

unfortunately i have dreamed the impossible

#why cant i have the very oddly specific Items and situations that dont exist?

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#i love how just weeks ago i was like nie no mnie to w ogole nie interesuje co ty #and here i am now lmfao proszeeee... JAK #tak naprawde to nie jest calkiem niezwykle dla mnie ale kurde nie myslalam ze faktycznie tak bedzie haha #lepiej niz to co bylo (i jakos bywa) od poczatku lata #wlosy 😭 z reguly nie ale jak tak TO TAK. przeciez ja tez takie chce..... nawet 2 razy. i tak i tak.... rozumiesz.... dobra....

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#every fucking slang term for this ever #one of the items of all time truly #“0n p0trzebuje mn!e” #“Я moge zmienic” #“jest taki.....” #“ukryje sie w его szafie” nawet z tym paskudnym powietrzem lollllllll #glupoty гормональный #wszystko o tym jest poza kieszenia

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#no moze byc przez ten. uhhh czas. no i wierz co #niestety mysle ze to naprawde ee no wlasnie ''бб горль'' ale kurwa fucking masakra to jest pojebane do calego chuja #jak to moze byc lmao pomysl sobie tylko troszke. JAKI kurwa smrod od tych fucking gesi hhhhh matko boska #i dalej glowa mi tak mowi hejjjjj dzieweczka (do laseczka dooo zieloonegooo) moze jakos to mozna zyc? #pisze WIERZ a nie wiesz bo chlowiek musi miec jakas bzdurna wiare aby takie glupoty wysluchiwac #kurwa mac ale fajne te wlosy moglo by byc tak fajnie fajnie fajnieee #google translate struggling hard to decipher my half rural half city southern PL dialect with a solid glaze of 'murican lmfao #just as i intended because the levels of outside of pocket i have reached buddy guy man dude..........

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#this brain always comes up with the most out of pocket shit #like shit i dont even really believe it's just being a fucking weirdo #i simply would not??? why do you suggest such things??? in what world??? huh????? #it'll be rooted in the smallest grain of salt but then gets so extra for no reason wait is that an intrusive thought is that whats happening #help #and i'll have like fucking slavic nursery rhymes stuck in my head on repeat too like bitch WHEN did i ask for this

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#ah shit there's no coming back from that #welp this is life now #tbf it's still better than Unlistables #i love (viciously despise) how many of these have similarities but Big Brain is like Ha Ha. Nice try but not like That #lmfao :|

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#ridiculous #i saw like 2 ppl say a thing and my brain thought it might be cool to check the idea out #bad news #i may have been influenced

[nineinchnailsonchalkboard]

how beautiful life is now when my time has come

"what you found was eternal death. no one will ever miss you"

#unfortunate to relate to both Syd Barrett and Dead Ohlin this much but it is what it is #not gonna lie i would only be flattered if someone decided to use parts of my skull as a guitar pick

[nineinchnailsonchalkboard]

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#holy shit today's unknown (thus unofficial) list item was fucking ridiculous #little me wouldve gone crazy for like 10 months straight hahahahah #what if [к*рчь] but more [blacksmithing noises] #ьуе 🫡 #THE BDUs + SHOE CHOICE TOO LIKE EXCUSE ME where did u find this look. who told u #no cause sometimes i wonder if ppl /know/ or if it's just another fashion trend :| #anyway ROSÓŁ but [repeated clanking of metals] !!! some ppl have it all #to be THAT cool. couldnt be me

[nineinchnailsonchalkboard]

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#the list and its items. such a strange thing to behold #it could be of groceries #it could be of people you like #it could be of.. a particular set of skills. skills acquired over a very long career. skills that make me a nightmare

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#just thinking about how easy it is to misconstrue any of these posts lmfaooo #im too tired to care like shit yeah i definitely meant whatever you thought i did exactly the way you did yup that's right im the worst

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#hm it's been some time #ineligible and unofficial list item is still iteming #i cant even make a board out of it or anything bc it would just be unacceptable and weird in all of the ways it could #and it's just Circa 2009 Era + Eye + Hint of Hint of Hint of GodTM #wait that's fair. also that's not fair wtf #file this one in Things No One Can Know Because It May Provide Great Power Over Me #but im lonely and have no hope for life so i hardly care anymore man #if manipulating me will provide any ounce of positive emotion i will take it #DID I MENTION EARLY 2000s ACTION MOVIES BECAUSE holy shit those did a number on my psyche somehow

[nineinchnailsonchalkboard]

Confessions, Kanae Minato (2008)

#i wish people i like existed

[nineinchnailsonchalkboard]

i get why deer run in front of cars

[nineinchnailsonchalkboard]

wanting to delete all evidence of my existence and just die peacefully somewhere in the forest

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#i have so many questions but im afraid of the answers #because i know theyre probably extra fucked up #just. that post by melanie is crazy #and who the fuck is melanie #is she just another lynn or does she have some connection to it all or what #also what kind of fucking name is vaughn #supervillain ass name #and how do you hide behind religion BRO LMAO #idk how true that part is but considering the region i wouldnt be surprised if they did #as if that would ever hold up lmfaoooooo i have no words #good im glad things turned out that way #but some day im gonna want these answers or at least something because it's all so crazy nahhh how do you do all that #fucking wildest thing ive heard in a long time #no wonder the movies about it tanked. theres no way you could act that out and have it come close to the level of Certified Joker Behavior #cliche to say but it's true that reality is much more fucked up than fiction god damn #how do you just. the audacity? to simply? they??? bye #ive heard and seen lots of violence in my time but the list of crimes commited on that day is towards the top of the worst #the audacity of it all is really what gets me. jesus fucking christ man havent you done enough