ninwrites

[ninwrites]

For those that aren't in Australia right now, we have the funniest scandal going on.

Firstly let us introduce you to the eye of the storm: Sam Kerr. Sam is a women's soccer player who has in the last year become one of the most famous and beloved athletes in Australia. Captain of the women's national team, Sam became something of a cult figure after the last Women's Soccer World Cup became a complete unpredicted sensation in Australia, with the whole country getting behind the team.

Sam, up until now, has had probably one of the most squeaky clean images in sport. Generally in Australia it is not uncommon for our sports stars to be caught up in scandals involving drugs:

violence:

drinking their own urine:

or if you're cricket legend Shane Warne, probably all three at once.

Contrasting all this, Sam's image as the squeaky clean saviour for sport made it all the more shocking this last week, when it was announced that Kerr was to face trial after having been charged by the UK police of a "racially aggravated offence" involving a taxi driver.

This was shocking news. Nobody knew what to make of it. Sam was a model for young girls everywhere and a national treasure. "This is why we can't have nice things" screamed the nation. It seemed like all hope was lost.

That is, until, yesterday, when the UK police finally revealed the full details of the case, in which Sam Kerr, sporting legend, was arrested for vomiting in a cab, and then telling an intervening police officer that he was a “stupid white bastard”.

Now we probably don't need to point out that in Australia, vomiting in a taxi and then calling a cop a bastard is about as close to a national culture as we have.

You could not have come up with a better headline to make someone a national hero.

Needless to say, Sam in now being hailed down under as the greatest legend that ever lived, and a petition has already been started to have her picture added to the $5 note.

The tide has swung so far that not one, but TWO, state Premiers have spoken out in support of Kerr, and the Prime Minister has even gone on the record describing her as "a delight".

And so ends the racial abuse saga of our greatest sports hero of all time, and the very first reverse milkshake duck to ever exist.

[ninwrites]

[ninwrites]

Happiness Will Come To You.

[ninwrites]

has anyone posted this yet. best tweet ever written

[ninwrites]

poor southern small town Facebook is like…. 3 beautiful women feuding over the most fucked up looking jobless ne’er-do-well in the county, your friend from high school is having her 3rd baby at age 20 and naming it something horrendous, “this dog showed up in my yard, who’s fucking dog is this?”, “pray for my meemaw she broke her hip drunk last week and now has COVID”, meme about bass fishing (which was pretty funny from a townie), only other gay person in town making a milktoast liberal political post, thirst traps from someone who makes no one feel thirsty, details of a couple’s divorce online for everyone to see, ballpark fight between two moms, “this is on sale at the piggy wiggly so move your ass and go get some!”, “I love driving around in the woods drinking beer”, “it smells like something is burning, is a house on fire somewhere?”

[ninwrites]

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

[ninwrites]

commits medical malpractice comes home to cook dinner for his girl displays behaviour is insane he really said malewife maliciousness malpractice! 10/10 character

#the glory

[ninwrites]

❤️✨

#skz #현진

[ninwrites]

Binniebunniebeanie ? Yes

#baby #skz #창빈

[ninwrites]

#he <33 #skz #필릭스

[ninwrites]

#so very very #강빅 #skz #현진 #방찬

[ninwrites]

how on gods green earth has no one done this yet

#ted lasso

[ninwrites]

Countdown to Season 5

#wwdits

[ninwrites]

i’m like touch starved but for a river

[ninwrites]

characters who arent canonically gay but whose behavior just makes no sense unless you read them as gay

[ninwrites]

Drew Barrymore at the Ever After premiere 1998

[ninwrites]

As a bisexual person I'm keenly aware of how such stereotypes are inevitably harmful to us, but unfortunately when I see bisexuals in fiction who are Evil and stylish and fuck like champions I can't help but go "oh work" for a sec. It's a difficult conundrum