not-an-alien-scientist

[not-an-alien-scientist]

If u want to write a story about a character that’s just you but hotter with a dark twisted backstory and magical powers and a pet falcon or something, I think u should just go ahead and do that. Who’s gonna stop you? The government?? Fuck the police.

#need this #writing

[not-an-alien-scientist]

HASO!

I think aliens would find it weird that we have all these fake animals (ie: sculptures, plushies, figurines, etc.)

Like, why?

(Here is my mandatory example of a convo between an alien and human.)

"...JeaniesometimesJean, why do you have a...miniature owl? You...do realize it's not real, yes?"

"Huh? Oh. Um. Yeah. I named 'em Douglas. Pretty cool, right?"

"It's not real. It's ceramic."

"I don't care, asshat."

"What."

#pack bonding

[not-an-alien-scientist]

Humanity has finally reached the stars and found out why no one had contacted us. The universe is in a sad state. As such, Doctors without Borders, Red Cross, and many othe charities go intergalactic.

#need to believe this last bit #now more than ever #because humanity seems like its worth giving up on at this point #i can barely even read the news

[not-an-alien-scientist]

Humanity has finally reached the stars and found out why no one had contacted us. The universe is in a sad state. As such, Doctors without Borders, Red Cross, and many othe charities go intergalactic.

[not-an-alien-scientist]

I probably put way too much thought into it but I do enjoy making a more in depth story rather than winging it. I like to actually think about the worldbuilding, make sure things actually connect and make sense. I am a big history nerd and I feel like it's the closest I can get to writing my own history.

[not-an-alien-scientist]

[not-an-alien-scientist]

[not-an-alien-scientist]

some people think writers are so eloquent and good with words, but the reality is that we can sit there with our fingers on the keyboard going, “what’s the word for non-sunlight lighting? Like, fake lighting?” and for ten minutes, all our brain will supply is “unofficial”, and we know that’s not the right word, but it’s the only word we can come up with…until finally it’s like our face got smashed into a brick wall and we remember the word we want is “artificial”.

[not-an-alien-scientist]

#me and my writing #ive been called out

[not-an-alien-scientist]

Humans are space orcs this, humans pack-bond with anything that, what if the real reason aliens love us is because we have perfectly-shaped hands for petting.

[not-an-alien-scientist]

#accurate #how i make stories

[not-an-alien-scientist]

Bish :3

[not-an-alien-scientist]

human: *is heating up food*

alien: why are you doing that?

human: you see i want the particles in my food to vibrate at just the right frequency

[not-an-alien-scientist]

[not-an-alien-scientist]

do you ever think about how weird it is that deer convergently evolved bones with the same sort of fractal branching pattern seen in like. trees. and coral and bryozoan colonies. and absolutely nothing similar to deer

Like it's a popular shape, but deer got there through the most roundabout way imaginable, evolving special mineralized organs for use in ritual combat that literally fall off and regrow like the leaves of deciduous plants. It's part of their endoskeleton, they grow in with skin on them and everything, but the deer rub off the skin so they can use the exposed bone as Sharp Dangerous Weapon

[not-an-alien-scientist]

Huh? Nah, this doesn't need safety gear

It is horrifying what kinds of deadly activities Humans will engage with without even a mention of safety or precaution. Most alarmingly what their offspring dare to do.

Take, for example, cycling. Already, a vehicle that is literally as minimal in features as you can get, and requires the user to provide all balance. Lacking such an advanced inner ear, operating this device is nigh impossible for two thirds of the Galaxy. But their young manage to get the hang of it very quickly, and we're told it's a skill that once you learn it, you never forget. Even after decades, their "body remembers", which adds another layer of curiosity to how Human "muscle memory" functions and retains this other form of knowledge.

Once their children learn this skill, any skill really, they tend to experiment and go as far as they can with it. One time we saw a whole group of them riding around their school's outdoor gym field at nearly 35 km/h on the straights. I and several other delegates would quite literally die if one were to crash into us. And crash they did, we were shocked and panicked, but before we could alert anyone, the child simply brushed themselves off, stretched a little, spent MORE time in fact checking if their bike was fine, and then got right back on. Seemingly zero lessons learned as they crashed two more times within the next half hour.

As we left, a group of slightly older children on somewhat smaller but tougher looking bicycles with steel protrusions from the wheels. They seemed very energetic, so we followed them at a distance to a large open concrete park with strange geometric structures all around. Before we could question the purpose of this place, the kids were flying, their bikes were screeching, and we were terrified. Jumping off ramps and these half-cylinders, doing frankly impossible feats of acrobatics.

OH MY GOD ONE OF THEM LET GO OF THE BIKE MID JUMP!!!

Oh thank god, they caught it again before landing.

Why did they spin around before doing so though?

...

Stunts?

You... willfully endanger yourselves for... "s t y l e p o i n t s"

My hearts can't take it anymore today, please take me home.

#im in a wheelchair now and i still feel like bike ridimg should be second nature #i obviously can't (i assume) #then again swimming is second nature for me #cuz mom decided i was going to learn to swim at like age 1 or 2 #so still surprises me when ppl dont mnow how

[not-an-alien-scientist]

Just needs a *little* more Sun

The Humans are searching for and cataloguing planets for potential colonization. It is an insanely long list and they've just started - they are willing to tolerate a lot. Like, partly shielded solar radiation, hostile weather patterns, changing tectonics, extreme temp-

right, Deathworlders. Nevermind.

Anyway, this list includes planets beyond what they should be able to tolerate by their own standards. As in, each planet lists how long a regular Human could survive with access only to food, water, and basic shelter. There are a lot of planets with the note: "One Standard Day or less". Most of them, not all for whatever reason, also have a note: "Terraforming efforts approved".

Interestingly, while the notes on suitability for Human survival go into granular detail, and offer extensive suggestions for measures on how to mitigate the negative and boost any positive aspects of any given analyzed planet. The terraforming bit is just that one sentence, and when we asked a Human colleague, they just shrugged and said:

"Case by case basis, there's a lot of different methods we wanna try out, and people will come up with new ones once they're actually at the planet, so it's impossible to preemptively detail what we're gonna do. It'll be fine, don't worry too much."

We decided to worry a bit and went to check out one of the planets. It had a single note in bold regarding the difficulties:

EXTREMELY LOW TEMPERATURES

When we arrived the Human station... was not in orbit of the planet, but instead quite a distance away just on the edge of the planet's gravitational influence and was technically orbiting the local star.

As we approached, we noticed a massive folded structure being constructed. It seemed very reflective, with another smaller structure that was mostly transparent. Confused, we inquired what this was about and if they had given up on terraforming the frozen planet.

"Ahh nah, dudes. We're making a big ol' lookin' glass and mirror ring. Keep it in, uhh, geo-orbit, or I guess solar orbit right between 'em. Gon' shine more Sun on that planet, warm it up natural like. More or less. My son came up with the idea while playin' with the other kids. Bet he'll be a proper science person one day."