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Notes From The Cactus Patch
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Dispatch From The Cactus Patch....April 26, 2024
Elon Loves Me Two Times….
I must be doing something right: Twitter has banned me twice in the last month. Calling out a violent Hamas-loving terrorist protester for assaulting a minister will get you banned, but not loading videos of murder, rape, and assault that is deemed acceptable. I will wear my banishment like a new suit. Also, WordPress AI took over my first post and made crazy…
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Dispatches From The Cactus Patch, April 26,2024
Elon Loves Me Two Times…
Good news from the Cactus Patch: X (Twitter) has locked my account for the second time in a month! I must be setting some kind of record. Apparently, speaking the truth about a psycho fake Hamas female protester assaulting a pastor isn't as welcome as one might think. But fear not Dear Hearts ( Brother Dave Gardner speak), I'm in good company; this is the same site that…
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Grifter Swifter
The original Tortured Poet
After reading all the glowing, foot-kissing reviews of Swifter’s new album, “Tortured Poet,” I take back a few of the skews I gave her, but only a few. I had no idea the poor dear had lived such a sad life, I doubt her feet touched the ground until she was five-years-old, and every spoon in the house was pure silver. A downtrodden, entitled little rich girl who never…
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Say It Ain't So Billy Joe...An Ode To Teenage Love
After a few months of rehearsals and gigs with our new members, Danny and Marshall, Alice, our manager, announced that she had arranged an audition for a female singer for the band. No consulting the boys on this one; it was full ahead. Alice had good ideas, so we rolled with them. She thought some femaliaty would add depth and make us more audience-friendly, since we were a bunch of surely young…
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Dispatches From The Cactus Patch: April 19th, 2024
Doing my best Joe Walsh impression
It’s been a taxing week in The Cactus Patch. I’ve discovered that the television news makes my face break out. During my teenage years, I had but a few dozen pimples, while my buddies’ tortured faces resembled a Fire Ant attack. Now at almost 75, my facial skin is red, rashy, bumpy, and pissed off. I fear it may be the newscast that causes stress and anxiety,…
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Snack Time In New Guinea
” Yum Yum eatum up”
The old Chief Sniffer should have been a dime novel author.
“My uncle was eaten by cannibals on the island of New Guinea” is his latest contribution to his resume of fantastical yarns. That could have certainly happened; the tribes in New Guinea are renowned for their culinary skills. Now, come to find out, it’s a whopper of a lie. He was fact-checked in-depth and has told…
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A Tiny Late-Night Rant from The Cactus Patch....
It’s already started in a mere 24 hours. Poor OJ Simpson, the maligned ex-football player who couldn’t keep a large knife out of his hands, is being turned into a 20 over-par saint. He only wanted to ” have some fun,” as Sheryl Crow warbled. Considering the crime he committed and the families he destroyed, it’s a surprise he lasted this long without some do-gooder taking his sorry ass out. If…
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The Eclipse Gave Us A Little More Time
Like everyone on the planet today, Momo and I positioned our lawn chairs on the back lawn, donned our cheesy sunglasses, and waited for the big show. The full eclipse crept up on us as we sat and watched the sky turn to a color I had never seen. The clouds swirled in circles, the stars appeared, and our little piece of real estate plunged into semi-darkness for a few minutes. The birds roosted,…
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"So You Want To Be A Rock N'Roll Star!"
Every boy fondly remembers his first; be it a gun, an armpit hair, a pimple, a girlfriend, a school dance, a beer, his first shave, a car, or his first electric guitar. Well, maybe most boys never got an electric guitar, or there would be no Beatles or Beach Boys, and there would not have been anyone hearing or dancing to the music because all the teenage musicians would be on the stage playing…
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Easter Evening From The Cactus Patch
It was a rather quiet Sunday here in the Cactus Patch. The church service was pretty good, the band on stage was stellar, and the Pastor gave a rousing benediction using Acts as his vehicle. We left a little early to make a late lunch engagement with Momo’s daughter’s family in Fort Worth. We were both worn out from attending the Liverpool Legends concert on Saturday night at the Granbury Opera…
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Who Came First; The Bunny or Jesus?
Not the Easter Rabbit
Us Christians have to admit: the Easter Bunny is a great secular ploy to teach our children the wrong meaning of Easter. We can thank German immigrants in the 1700s for bringing this little Paganisitc celebration to our shores. Sure, they meant well, and at that time, most Germans were Christians, but being trapped indoors during those long winters, they came up with an…
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