notsanguine

[notsanguine]

pickles are top tier snack for for ed (not sheeran) girlies

#tw disordered eating #tw body dysmorphia #tw ed diet #tw ed in the tags #tw ed relapse #tw ed not sheeran #ed snacks

[notsanguine]

me and my bf are together for some time now and my anxiety is telling me he doesnt feel anything to me🤣🤣🤣 and that i need to get prettier in order to receive more love🤣🤣🤣 but also i need to detach and focus on myself so i dont get hurt🤣🤣🤣but i also have to do everything to please him so he stays🤣🙂🤣

i hate my brain frrr

#tw ed vent #tw anxiety #tw anxious #anxiety vent #relationship vent #tw ana relapse #tw ana related

[notsanguine]

today is my last day of normal eating bc i gained some weight and im literally losing my mind🩷🎀

i wanna look better for myself, for him and just to finally be pretty

#tw ed implied #tw disordered eating #tw body dysmorphia #tw ed diet #tw ed but not sheeran

[notsanguine]

help how to restrict with parents at home… i just got back from uni and i decided to eat normally for one week so they dont get too suspicious BUT i dont know what to do later…

#tw ed implied #tw disordered eating #tw body dysmorphia #tw ed rant #anorex14 #body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #tw ed diet #tw body dysphoria #tw ed in the tags #tw ed not sheeran #ed not sherran #eating restrictions

[notsanguine]

dream body

#tw disordered eating #tw body dysmorphia #anorex14 #body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #tw ed diet

[notsanguine]

back to restricting bc my waiist and belly disgust me<3

[notsanguine]

i wonder how life without ed and body dysmorphia looks like…

i struggle with this shit since i was like idk 10?? and i really cant imagine feeling good in my body

#tw ed implied #tw disordered eating #tw ed rant #tw body dysmorphia

[notsanguine]

damn this girl commented on my ig photo and said im beautiful😳😳😳

im A LITTLE BIT SURPRISED????

i think my crush has a crush on someone else and said someone else is one of the prettiest girls ive ever seen, who has everything i always wanted to have and who looks the way i always wanted to look like…

well it lowkey hurts, even tho my body image issues would never let me get close to anyone because im too ashamed of myself, it hurts to hear him complimenting her all the time. realizing once again that i will never be a person that is pretty enough to be interesting was tough but what can i do… they are my friend and all im gonna do is help them if they will want to get close to that girl.

i just want them to be happy

[notsanguine]

my body disgusts me so much.

i know its not my enemy, but it feels like one.

my skin is never glowy and smooth, it never looks like porcelain and even if it does, its like porcelain is full of scratches, something no one would ever be able to like.

my nails break all the time, making me feel even less feminine. my hair keep falling out and never look the way i want it to look like.

im looking at the mirror and i cant even recognize this person. all i see are their mistakes and bruises and scratches and everything thats not right.

i wish my waist was smaller, my legs longer, my arms thinner, my breasts bigger.

i wish i was someone else.

i wish i was like the other girls - prettier, smarter, smaller, funnier, because god im so tired of being my biggest enemy.

#tw ed implied #tw ed rant #tw disordered eating #tw body dysmorphia #body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #tw body dysphoria #tw depressing thoughts #body dysphoria #body dysmorphia rant #anorex14 #tw ed diet #i hate it so much #i have a problem

[notsanguine]

my toxic trait? thinking that once i will get skinnier all my problems will disappear, i will become lovable and find the love of my life<3

#tw body dysmorphia #tw disordered eating #anorex14 #body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #tw body dysphoria #tw ed diet #tw ed not sheeran #tw ed implied #tw ed rant

[notsanguine]

diet coke is what keeps me sane

#tw ed implied #tw ed but not sheeran #tw disordered eating #anorex14 #body dysmorphic disorder

[notsanguine]

my goal for this summer is to change. to be unrecognizable when i come back to uni.

i wanna be perfect. i wanna be someone everyone armires, a girl made of glass and honey

#tw ed implied #tw body dysmorphia #big plans #tw edtwt

[notsanguine]

my little sister has early signs of ed and that scares the shit out of me. i dont want this little baby to go through everything i went and am going through right now.

ed is not beautiful, its a fucking hell and if u have someone who wants to help you, please go to recovery. see a therapist. its never too late.

i swear its not worth it. we all try to romanticize it because thats all we have. we need something we can control. and thats just who we are.

#tw ed rant #tw body dysmorphia #tw disordered eating #anorex14 #tw ed implied

[notsanguine]

all of my friends and family told me i look skinnier.

at first i thought „finally” and then i realised i can do better. be prettier. be skinnier.

i wanted to get out of this hell. but i cant. and im sorry.

but i will be forever stuck in this never ending nightmare of d1s0rd3r3d evt1ng, romanticization of hunger and these brief moments of control.

thats who i am. thats all i know. it sucks but it is what it is.

#tw ed implied #tw ed rant #tw disordered eating #tw ed but not sheeran #body dysmorphia #anorex14

[notsanguine]

my body dysmorphia has never been this strong, istg i dont even see myself in the mirror or in the photos, i feel like its someone else

#tw ed implied #tw ed rant #tw body dysmorphia

[notsanguine]

long time no see.

but im coming back:)

#tw disordered eating #anorex14 #tw body dysmorphia

[notsanguine]

i think my crush has a crush on someone else and said someone else is one of the prettiest girls ive ever seen, who has everything i always wanted to have and who looks the way i always wanted to look like…

well it lowkey hurts, even tho my body image issues would never let me get close to anyone because im too ashamed of myself, it hurts to hear him complimenting her all the time. realizing once again that i will never be a person that is pretty enough to be interesting was tough but what can i do… they are my friend and all im gonna do is help them if they will want to get close to that girl.

i just want them to be happy

#tw body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #body dysmorphia #tw ed implied #tw ed in the tags #tw ed vent #tw ed rant #bitches broken hearts