nottyouraveragegoblin

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

actually vampires are real and I know all of them and they said they won't come out until everyone agrees to be nice to them. I told them I'd tell you guys that so if we could just get 8.1 billion likes on this so I know everyone's cool then we can have vampires

#Vampcouver #the future that Lucius is working toward 💪

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

vampire boyfriend who thinks it’s cute when you bite him back

#Lucius #vampcouver

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

It’s a common misconception that vampirism automatically leads to bisexuality but shocking new information from the World Health Organization says that, through sheer coincidence, everyone who’s ever been turned into a vampire was already bisexual. Scientists and statisticians all over the globe are working hard to understand this absolute statistical clusterfuck. More at 11.

#vampcouver

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

yea

#fuck it I’ll reblog #rvb #tuckington

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

*no chicago bc it would obviously sweep lol

#some of us are already living the dream

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

I know that’s kind of the go-to thing to show that a vampire character is “one of the good ones” or whatever but it actually seems a little bit more fucked up for a vampire to steal blood from a blood bank than for a vampire to attack people for blood, at least as long as it’s not the kind of vampire where a bite is instantly lethal like it never stops bleeding. 

People can recover from losing some blood but blood bank blood is constantly in short supply and is reserved for people who imminently need blood transfusion of a specific blood type or else they die.

#the only ethical path #is to take some blood from a willing participant #and then give them an insane tornado blowjob #which perfectly cancels out the inconvenience that you cause them in the grand scheme of the universe #vampcouver #lucius

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

Can I speak my truth. I don’t think Brienne is even a little gay. I think she’s a kinsey zero who false positives on everyone’s radar. I think if you dropped brienne into new age 2024 she would get treated as a lesbian in her day to day life but whenever a woman liked her she’d be like. Ummmmmmm I’m really sorry but I don’t. Feel like that. I think she’d give lesbianism the good old college try bc of the direness of her male love life and come down firmly on the side of not attracted to women. I think she is quintessential pnw woman who you think is a slam dunk homerun lesbian based on everything about her who drops the word husband on you. I think she gets clocked on sight and mentions a partner named Jaime which makes people go. Okay. Partner i know that game. Jamie easily the name of a lesbian. Easily. And then she drops the he pronouns and you go. Well. Could still be a weird lesbian. And then Jaime is a business major in a frat with generational wealth. And HE is the kinsey five in the relationship.

#not a got blog #but yeah I’ll reblog that #got

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

salmon so tasty it make me eat hasty / when salmon is finished the joy is diminished

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

more stuff about becoming a god being inherently dehumanizing pls

#not me getting sad about the main deity of a long dead campaign #Oberon :(

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

#literally so true

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

they should have left dorian and the inquisitor in the in hushed whispers timeline for like a month just because it would’ve been funny

#this isn’t a dragon age blog #but this compels me #da: inquisition

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

You roll up to the Wizard Battle and your opponent takes out his spellbook but it’s just one of these

#Syvvie

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

pokemon is about siccing your dog on a creature that is intrinsically, biologically, a baby mime

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

#Syvvie

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

#really feeling this in the club tonight

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

Cookies represent the body of Santa while the milk represents the blood of Santa

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

#vampcouver #this is lucius-core to me