Emperor Nobody

A semi-selective roleplay blog for DJ Octavio's clones! Sideblog to Splatfriends and Sister blog to Splattales. Canon-divergent, SFW. --- Please AT LEAST SKIM the about page and rules page before interacting! Reading the 'changes' page is optional, but it quickly explains any deviations from Splatoon canon.

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octowussabi·7 days agoText


Doc snorts, shaking his head. “Thank you. There’s only so many times I can take people being reckless and using me as an excuse before I have to get curt with them–” The old octoling rubbed his nose, shooting a glance at Kurt who looked the other way, before giving the same glance at Tay when he spoke up. “…Right. Well then.”

Kurt’s ears lowered a little guiltily, the Octoweapon nodding sheepishly. “Baah, I don’t mind arcades. Right Gaius?” Kurt recovered quickly, grinning over at Wasa who shrugged and started stepping in the direction of the arcade.

Doc crossed his arms, following suit. “When was the last time either of you even touched an arcade machine …..?”

“Yes! I’m going to win every crane game in that arcade, just watch me.” Tay dashes ahead, fully recovered from his earlier embarrassment.

Sabi trails along, shaking his head at his brother’s bravado, but otherwise appears content. This would be a lot safer than spear fishing, and a lot calmer too. It was nice to spend time with Doc, and Wasa, and even Kurt. Whether Tay would live up to his boasts, he had some doubts … but it’d be fun to watch.

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octowussabi·25 days agoText


“Smaller it is, the easier it is to carry.” Doc shrugs, frowning. “Easier to lose though. They still make them in multiple sizes to fit people’s needs.” The old octarian motions. “You can come with me to pick the size later.”

Both the brothers shuffle slightly, exchanging tired glances before Doc piped in. “Uh- So… Respawning here is based on a certain.. sound frequency here. A melody.” He takes a breath before elaborating on the workings of their respawn, how they originally created it and how it was later mass-produced by inklings, occasionally peppered by a humming of the tune to illustrate the point by either himself or Wasa.

“So. What Kurt is saying is, ‘long as one of us is around to make the respawn beat, y’ll come back.” Wasa shrugs.

Kurt nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! So ‘gain, don’t gotta sweat not having a portable respawn if either these old farts’re around, HEHEHEH!”

“Your respawn is sound-based? That’s—that’s fascinating,” Tay gasps, listening intently to Doc’s explanation. Sabi seems particularly interested too, though has some misgivings about whether the technology would work outside of this world.

“I suppose it’s … it’s nice to know we’re safe when we’re with you.” he smiles weakly at the group. “Although … I’m, um, not going to start taking any more risks than usual.”

“Pshaw,” Tay scoffs, “you wouldn’t take risks if you’d been blessed with unconditional immortality. Which is almost what this is–”

“Mm, anyway…” Sabi scratches his cheek, tittering a laugh. “Since we’re not going to be doing any more fishing…SorryMrKurt…would you like to join us for the arcade? It’s something we wanted to get in before, ah—well, before we go ahead and get our own portable respawn now, I suppose…?”

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octowussabi·a month agoText


Nodding, the girls replied, “You can do it!”

“Taking to Sabi would be a good start. Getting to know your brother more so you two can build a relationship,” Lutarna stated, “Support from family is always good.”

“Yeah, then you can go out and find others. But always be yourself,” Lulu continued, “People will like you more for that. Be honest with the things you like and people will like you for that.”

“My thoughts exactly.” Tay nods, arms folded. He was quite familiar with Sabi by this point, but there were still plenty of things he didn’t fully understand about him, too. “As my only in-world relative, I think it’s a bond worth pursuing.”

He sniffs.

“Be nice … and be myself?” Tay looks serious for a moment, genuinely regarding this as an impossibility, before looking up and winking at them. But was it really a joke? “Not sure if I can manage that one~ I suppose I’ll just have to try it out. See you around, ladies. You can send that letter back to me with a written copy when you have time.”

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octowussabi·2 months agoAnswer


This one seems a lot quicker to answer, but I’ll try my best to elaborate!

🍉  :    which of the four seasons suits my muse best,  and why?  

Tay is spicy hot like Summer !!!1  … and he’s just as exhausting. 

It’s an easy choice; the associations of the season fit his personality to a T. Summer is when people go on holiday and relax, and that’s something he’s a little too familiar with. It’s also the season of heat, which can easily be associated with high levels of sass, passion, and fury

Sabi’s is harder to figure out. He’s not Spring, and he’s not Summer, but he fits both the melancholy of Autumn and the quiet of Winter. 

The obvious parallel to Summer would be Winter, but I think Autumn suits him best overall. Things are cooling down after Summer. It’s a cosy season, not as solemn and harsh as Winter, but there’s still a certain sadness to it. 

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octowussabi·2 months agoAnswer

🍑, 🍒, 🥭 if you'd like!

I would very much like!

🍑  :    how meticulously does my muse look after their physical appearance?  do they spend a lot of time on their hair,  makeup,  grooming,  and clothing?  is there a particular reason why they do or dont?  

Tay is all about his appearance. Even on his laziest days he’ll make an effort on his face, to which he applies a natural-looking layer of makeup. While his skin is already quite clear and he doesn’t really need to do this, it’s become a habit. He regularly trims his moustache to keep it tidy, bathes frequently, wears too much expensive cologne…

It’s very important to look your best when you’re the Emperor.

The only place he really falls short is in the clothing department – that’s not to say he can’t, because he certainly knows how, but oftentimes he simply doesn’t feel like getting out of his pyjamas.

While Sabi is nowhere near as obsessed with himself as Tay is, he does care quite deeply about the way he looks. It might not be as obvious looking at him, but Sabi also needs to shave regularly. As well as his clean-shaven face, he takes special care to keep his hair-tentacles the right length.

Sabi usually dresses for comfort (with an accompanying bandanna to cover his face), but if he’s going to visit someone specific, he pays attention to the way he’s dressed. His ‘smart’ clothes might not be as flashy as an emperor’s, but they can certainly be as tidy.

🍒  :    how much does my muse value companionship?  do they constantly keep people around them,  or do they prefer to be alone often?  do they have or desire to have many friends?  do they see every meeting as an opportunity to make a new friend?  

Take one look at Tay and tell me he isn’t dying for companionship. He doesn’t do himself any favours – he can be very demanding, arrogant, and will let people know when he doesn’t like them. Being a ruler doesn’t help much either, as it gives him a reason to act this way.

As a result, he’s very lonely. The few friends he does have aren’t quite enough for him – he’s happy to have them, yes, but he can be quite clingy and needy as he still starves for attention.

Maybe going incognito in Inkopolis would help with this problem. Maybe getting over his beef with Inklings would help too.

In stark contrast, Sabi is quite happy on his own. He’s got few friends, but they’re good ones, and that’s all he really needs.

He’s had his issues with loneliness in the past, not knowing who to turn to and not wanting to bother the  friends he’d already spoken to, but nowadays he handles loneliness a lot better.

There were times when Sabi didn’t want to be on his own, times he wished he had family – but now he has a brother, and as troublesome as said brother is, he’s quite content with that.

🥭  :    how important to my muse is their hometown,  or where theyre from?  are they proud of it,  or considered a hometown hero? did they move away,  or do they wish to?

As a bit of a mix up, I’m going to start with Sabi! He has a connection with both the Underground and Inkopolis.

The Underground is where he was ‘born’, and a place that he was raised to rule, so he feels a very strong connection to its people, having a desire to protect and support them. No matter how much he tries to divorce himself from the idea that it’s his job, it always seems to come back one way or another.

As soon as he was broken out of the cloning facility, however, Sabi was brought to the surface. Inkopolis is his second home, and while at first the residents were quite unkind to him, times are changing. Nothing quite rivals the fresh air and sunshine up there, and many of his friends are Inklings.

It’s too bad he keeps to himself. Outside of his friend circle, nobody knows him.

In the exact same manner as Sabi, Tay was created and raised in an Underground lab. Raised to rule, he had exceptional charisma, and was chosen as Octavio’s replacement – he’s the Emperor, so everybody knows him.

…or do they?

The person they really know is Tay’s father, and even then, it’s a public image. He doesn’t even get the benefit of being recognised as an heir. Whether they know him or not, though, Tay does care about his people. He wants what’s best for them – but, given the current situation, he doesn’t have a lot of say in the matter…  

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octowussabi·2 months agoText



     send the corresponding symbol(s) for headcanons surrounding 
     the given topic(s)!

🍍  :    how comfortable is my muse in their body?  how do they feel about their height,  weight,  strength,  and body type?  how important is being attractive to them?  
🍅  :    how does my muse feel about plastic  /  cosmetic surgeries   &   procedures?  is it something they have done or would do?  do they mind if others do it?  
🍏  :    how stable is my muses physical health?  do they go for regular or semi-regular checkups by a physician?  do they have any diagnosed illnesses and or take any medication?  how often do they get sick?
🍎  :    how stable is my muses mental health?  have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they or should they attend therapy?  
🍑  :    how meticulously does my muse look after their physical appearance?  do they spend a lot of time on their hair,  makeup,  grooming,  and clothing?  is there a particular reason why they do or dont?  
🍒  :    how much does my muse value companionship?  do they constantly keep people around them,  or do they prefer to be alone often?  do they have or desire to have many friends?  do they see every meeting as an opportunity to make a new friend?  
🍇  :    how would my muse describe their childhood?  how much has it impacted the person they are now,  or will become as an adult?  around what age did they or will they start to matureand why?  do they wish to go back to their days as a child,  or have they embraced adulthood?  
🍐  :    how intelligent is my muse overall?  are they smarter than the average person,  or less than?  are they primarily self-taught,  or did they acquire most of their knowledge in school?  are they more street smart or book smart?  
🍉  :    which of the four seasons suits my muse best,  and why?  
🍌  :    is my muse inclined to help others,  or will they only do it when it benefits them,  if at all?  what makes them this way?  has it ever gotten them into trouble,  or inconvenienced them? 
🍊  :    does my muse desire romance?  is it something they would actively seek out,  or prefer to happen more    naturally?  ’  what is their love life like?  do they have any exes or past flingsor crushes?  
🍓  :    how is my muse typically seen by others?  does it ring true to who they really are?  does their reputation matter to them? 
🥝  :    does my muse have any    unusual    habits,  interests,  and  /  or talents?  do they hide it,  or are they proud of it?  
🍋  :    what kind of diet does my muse have?  do they eat regularly,  or the standard 2-3 meals a day?  do they have to be reminded to eat,  or are they likely to remind others?  do they cook,  or have others cook for them?  do they eat healthily,  or not so much?  
🥭  :    how important to my muse is their hometown,  or where theyre from?  are they proud of it,  or considered a hometown hero?  did they move away,  or do they wish to?

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octowussabi·2 months agoText


Listening in, both girls felt bad. They could understand. Tay’s circumstances were very different. What he knew wasn’t all true and only had a few people around.

Coming up to him, both girls gave Tay a hug before speaking.

“Tay, it’s not petty. We get it. But your life circumstances are different than his,” Lulu stated, “Being down about it won’t help anything. If anything, look where you are at. You know things that had you boggled for years and now you can move on in your life.”

“Hey, you got us. You got Sabi. I’m sure if you open up, you can find others. There is plenty of time if you want to change things for the better. Nobody is stopping you other than yourself. And we will support you all the way,” Lutarna remarked.

Tay isn’t all too surprised by the hug, though lets it happen rather than engaging properly. He doesn’t look at the girls when they speak, looking at the floor instead, but one of his drooping ears twitch to indicate that he’s listening.

“Yes… I suppose,” he murmurs, finally looking up. “I’m not so sure about it, but I can certainly try. I’m going to try. So I appreciate your support.”

Tay still sounds rather gloomy, but at least he’s determined. “I haven’t…actually spoken to Sabi about this yet. I should do that.”  

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octowussabi·2 months agoText


“Are you sure?” Doc asked, stepping away and rubbing his beard. “Mm, typical respawn aftereffects, yes.” He nods before shaking his head. “If you have any major problems after the fact, let me know anyways-” Doc finished, before looking at Sabi when the question was brought up.

“Ah. Right I did, uh-” He started.

“Respawns haven’t touched on since ports were a thing.” Wasa adjusts his hat, clipping off a customized badge hidden in it and showing the two. “Portable Respawner. Came ‘nto style about… 70 years after the war.” He mumbled.

Kurt leaned in to look at Wasa’s badge before the Octoweapon put it back away, grinning at the two and pulling his own badge out of his jacket pocket. “Aye! Real good stuff these fellers, keeps cephalopods from havin’ to worry about respawn-tampering. There was a growin’ problem about tamperin’ and lack of respawns durin’ and after the war, so they implemented these bad boys–”

Yes- and I was worried because these two are other-worlders and don’t have them.” Doc cut in with a hiss, Kurt’s ears drooping slightly in guilt before Doc turned back to the two. “Right- So we don’t have to worry ever again, I’ll have you two issued portable respawns so if anything like this happens again, you’ll know for a fact you won’t be gone for good. It’s not that our respawns don’t work, it’s just…”

“Inklings are careless.” Wasa sneers. “Spawns cn’ be tampered with, if not tampered thn’ they sometimes won’t work if you’re in a cheap place. Two safety nets ‘stead of one.”

Kurt’s ears drooped back up a bit. “Yeah- and look- if both of ‘em fail you, all it takes is the march. If y’all got royals like Doc n’ Guy near rest assured- y’ basically invincible.” The large octarian motions as Wasa eyes him for a moment before looking back. 

“Well, I will, but… hopefully it won’t come to that.”  Tay runs a hand over his fringe tentacles, fussing to make them tidier.  

The next piece of information comes as quite a surprise to Tay and Sabi, despite it being common knowledge in Doc’s world.  

Portable Respawner?” the brothers repeat in unison, both disbelieving. It seemed impossible!

Much like Kurt, Tay leans over to look at Wasa’s respawn badge, though with particularly intense interest. He looks at Kurt’s own, too, when it’s produced. 

“But it’s… so small,” Sabi mumbles, squinting.  He doesn’t want to pass up the opportunity of having one when offered, though. “Oh. Um. Thank you, Doc—”

The information that follows is almost dizzying. While Sabi glances away at the mention of careless inklings, Tay nods intensely.

“You make a good point—the continued development of respawn technology is long overdue,” he states, folding his arms.  “…but I must admit, I’m not sure what you mean by the march. Or how your proposed method actually works without an ink source to gather from.”

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octowussabi·2 months agoText


Finishing up, Lutarna remarks, “Dude, handwriting that is nice and easy to read is kinda uncommon in the valley.”

“She’s not lying. Home writing is kinda slug scratch,” Lulu replied a bit sheepish.

Though both noticing Tay’s mood, the girls were confused.

“Hey Tay, is everything okay?” Lutarna asked.

“Did someone say anything to you when you were away?” Lulu questioned, “I mean, the other Tay practically looked like you. Just human.”

“I’m fine,” Tay lies, before they continue to interrogate him. “No one said anything exactly, I just—” he shakes his head, before sighing. “He sure did, didn’t he? I saw pictures.”

Tay pinches the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes. “I spent a lot of time in his room, looking through his stuff. Mostly because I couldn’t go anywhere else. There were only three people I spoke to in that world, and two of them—they missed him, they loved him.”

He shrugs dramatically. “Call me petty all you like, but the more I was compared to him, the more I felt like trash. In that letter—he says I have everything, but he’s wrong—he has everything. Okay, so his life’s not perfect, and it’s not even like they were gushing about him, I just… …it’s like he said, I can do better. But I wasn’t even thinking about that until yesterday. Hadn’t crossed my mind. Now it’s all I can think about.”

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octowussabi·2 months agoText


“Sounds good,” Lulu replied.

Texting Lutarna back, Lulu placed her phone back in her pocket as she waited for her sister to arrive.

Through a portal, Lutarna arrived in shorts and a t shirt as she waved. “Hey,” she stated, “Said something about a letter.”

Handing the letter to Lutarna, Lulu watched as Lutarna read it. “Well, it’s been a bit since I’ve seen English. Daisy doesn’t use it much anymore. Nice hand writing,” Lutarna remarked.

“You can read it though, right?” Lulu asked.

“Yeah. Here, let me read it,” Lutarna replied before reading it outloud.

Areyoukiddingme—it’s just handwriting,” Tay huffs, folding his arms. “I bet he was also very handsome and well-mannered and so very sweet.”

His eyes flit between Lulu and Lutarna as they speak, quietly winding down as he does still want to hear the letter read.  

Hearing it in its entirety puts him in a peculiar mood.


“…so that’s what it says.” Tay pauses for a good few moments. “How very… presumptuous of him. But thoughtful.”

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octowussabi·2 months agoText


Taking the letter, Lulu looked it over. “Oh yeah, that’s the letter. Wow, he’s got nice handwriting,” Lulu remarked.

Pulling her phone out, Lulu texted Lutarna to see what she was doing.

“If you are cool with it, she can come over and read it out loud for you,” Lulu remarked.

“I suppose he does,” Tay mumbles. Feeling insecure, he adds, “it’s as good as mine.” 

Tay nods in agreement. “That’s fine. There’s no point in keeping it personal when I don’t even speak the language. I’d like a translated copy too, but that can wait – right now I just want to know what it says.” 

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octowussabi·2 months agoText

( @sunshinelulusplatoon moved from here!)

“Hehehe, yeah, really. But strange things are nothing new to me,” Lulu chuckled.

“Human langauges? Yeah, she knows how to speak and read them,” Lulu replied, “Why do you ask…OH! Did the other Tay write the letter he was writing in a human language? I know he didn’t like the idea of me looking over his shoulder to write it so I didn’t see what he wrote? You did find it right?”

“You… knew about that?” Tay tilts his head to one side, frowning slightly. She must’ve come to visit while he was in the other world. That saved him a lot of explaining. “In that case–yes. I have it with me.” 

He produces a slip of paper that he’d tucked inside his robes, handing it to Lulu. As expected, it’s the letter from Taylor. And it’s written entirely in English.

“I have no doubt that it’s for me, but I can’t read it. I was hoping Lutarna would be able to translate.” 

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