ohitsjustkatherine

[ohitsjustkatherine]

I think maybe I’m not actually poly 🙃🙃🙃

#welp

[ohitsjustkatherine]

Definitely in the best relationship I’ve ever been in right now. Like I am pretty sure (terrifying) that this is my person. But I keep making myself feel guilty for then by extension putting down my other relationships?? Get it together Kathy.

[ohitsjustkatherine]

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to date me, it’s me making cheez its (because they’re your favorite) from scratch to have in the car when I pick you up from the airport, as well as prepping a cozy dinner to cook when we get home while you get settled back in

#I would date me #this is like some kind of relationship reflection diary now

[ohitsjustkatherine]

I try and find a lesson in all of my failed relationships but there’s one that I just don’t think taught me anything and really just left me deeply hurt

[ohitsjustkatherine]

Shout out to sitting in the window looking at the grey early winter sky drinking tea listening to RTJ while your partner makes breakfast sandwiches and you’re wearing their sweater and all you have to do the rest of the day is watch soccer and eat snacks

#🙃 #a selfie tag #reappearing after YEARS

[ohitsjustkatherine]

A thing about being poly is that like I obviously currently have very solid wonderful relationships but I am ALSO incredibly thirsty for Attention From New People at the moment and uhhh. Makes me feel greedy and kind of ungrateful tbh lol

#pay attention to me

[ohitsjustkatherine]

I hate how often I have bad feelings about things that turn out to be dead on.

[ohitsjustkatherine]

I cannot experience any feeling that is not strictly positive without immediately shaming myself for it and it is exhausting having emotions is exhausting and processing feelings is exhausting I am beyond absolutely drained and I hate not having answers to things and all I am right now is stuck stuck stuck. I have not seen my best friend or my family in 2 years I am always afraid my father is going to die of covid because he won’t get vaccinated I am not paid nearly enough for the work that I do I cannot get validation in the ways that I need I want to sleep forever

[ohitsjustkatherine]

Update: still seeing each other, still deeply compatible in a way I haven’t had before. Constantly having my expectations exceeded. They brought me donuts at work. We sleep with each other’s shirts.

I started seeing someone I like so much I can’t get enough of them. We’re so similar it just doesn’t make any sense but it’s so sick. I’ve worn one of their shirts twice this week because I miss how they smell constantly. I’m in this weird obsessive stage and I’m trying to keep myself in check because I know historically that’s been Bad For Me but also fuck it who cares we’re all gonna die might as well have a great time while I can

#help it’s so good

[ohitsjustkatherine]

I started seeing someone I like so much I can’t get enough of them. We’re so similar it just doesn’t make any sense but it’s so sick. I’ve worn one of their shirts twice this week because I miss how they smell constantly. I’m in this weird obsessive stage and I’m trying to keep myself in check because I know historically that’s been Bad For Me but also fuck it who cares we’re all gonna die might as well have a great time while I can

#please help I like them so much

[ohitsjustkatherine]

Listen. Guys. Back from the void to say: I am.... so thirsty to have someone fully submit to me. Like all of the anxiety and pressure and intense uncertainty of the world right now and not being able to see people... I just want to spit on and beat a man and force my foot in his mouth and have complete control and I CAN’T because there’s a PANDEMIC and touching is ILLEGAL. I am so thirsty to dom I could cry.

#ok all of this is in a negotiated bdsm consensual context please dont think i am a maniac #just to be clear #also im like ~into all the genders but this craving is specifically towards men

[ohitsjustkatherine]

Having a birthday dinner with my roomates and partner last night. Roomie asked me what I was most proud of from the last year. Honestly it’s the fact that I got to peg a specific person and uhhhh. That’s not an answer she would be open to hearing so I could not tell her.

#i just..... #am so proud of myself and think about it all the time

[ohitsjustkatherine]

Update: MA governor orders closure of non essential businesses, my boss is horrified by the concept that liquor stores are allowed to stay open so I continue to go to work. Good news is I get paid, bad news is the quarantine life I was destined for remains out of reach.

Person I want to make out with is Smart and Reasonable so we continue to not mash faces together until.... I don’t know when. Had a dream about touching their butt.

Here are my Virus Crisis concerns rn: am I still gonna get paid because I really can’t do my job from home and I just met somebody I’d really like to make out with more but now seeing other people is illegal so

#I HOPE YOURE ALL OK. #reminder to follow me on ig if u miss me here @rapkat

[ohitsjustkatherine]

Here are my Virus Crisis concerns rn: am I still gonna get paid because I really can’t do my job from home and I just met somebody I’d really like to make out with more but now seeing other people is illegal so

#but fr i hope we’re all safe and sane!!!!!

[ohitsjustkatherine]

I got to fuck someone I’d had my eye on for A While and I thought that would help me get the crush out of my system but no. I am. Still just as thirsty it seems.

#yikes

[ohitsjustkatherine]

I can’t believe that I thought how I felt when he was in my life was ok and normal and good?? Like I was crying uncontrollably for the better part of a year because of how stressed out he made me. And I never connected it. And I was like ‘I’m in love! We love each other! This is cool!’ But everything was so so not ideal in any way and I just decided it was ok and that it was my anxiety telling me something good was bad when IN REALITY it was my gut. Which I’ve never really been able to identify tbh but that situation helped a lot. Idk. I wasted so much time and energy.

#everything is fine ive just been thinking about this concept lately #mf didnt even pick me up from the airport

[ohitsjustkatherine]

I keep smelling them on my hair? Maybe it’s my hair. I know it’s on my shirt. I don’t know. It smells so good. I feel dumb.

#uuuuuuggggghhhhh