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We are together and we are happy. Things have a funny way of working out.

#he's been home almost three months #and it's been wonderful #now just move up here goodness gracious #us things #missionary girlfriend #my missionary

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I have three dates with another boy planned this week. This other boy knows about Kris and I suspect is upping the dates before Kris comes home. And I let it slip to Kris that this was going on. I feel a little bit bad. But also I like this other guy, his timing isn't great, but I do like him and it has to be okay for me to be able to see where is goes.

#kris comes home in 37 days #see what I mean about timing #I didn't think I would have to deal with complicated but here we are #randy rambles

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He’s been gone for twenty two months. We skyped on Sunday. He’s happy. Seems to be getting more excited about coming home. 57 more days!

#I'm so much more excited then this sounds #and now he knows that I have dated other people and he's good with that #I love him a whole lot #my missionary #randy rambles

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I had gelato and brownies for dinner, because I’m home alone and that is what I “made”. My babe has been gone 21 whole months and there’s flight plans for him to come home now. July 8 hurry up.

#21 months #he's coming home soon

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Double digits today.

#freaking out

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Talking with Kris yesterday I was reminded why. Why I've been with him, why these two years. Things are easy with us. I'm never concerned I'm giving him too much. I know he can handle me at the highest of highs AND the lowest of lows. Yesterday was a good little chat about when he'll come home. It's around the corner. He's got close to 100 days left. We joke about how he'll be awkward and probably me too. It just got me excited to see him. I miss him.

#Randy rambles #my missionary #us things

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20 months

<p>I missed this a few days ago. He’s been gone for a long time now. I still miss him a whole lot. He’s only got three transfers left and its a scary thing. I am excited for him to be home. I just don’t know what to expect. I live far away. Plus there are so many things that I want to talk with him about that have to wait until he’s home. Which is hard. This is all hard. But I love him. Which really actually makes it harder.</p>Plus there are so many things that I want to talk with him about that have to wait until he’s home. Which is hard. This is all hard. But I love him. Which really actually makes it harder.

#the end #I could complain all day #my missionary #Randy rambles #us things #month

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Uterus, I do not understand your need to have a baby. We cannot afford a baby. I do not want a baby. Hell you wouldn’t even be happy if we had a baby. I find these temper tantrums you throw every month we don’t have a baby absolutely unacceptable.

#cause it's too tmi for the other blog

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#I want a husband and babies #give em to me now #future family #us things

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And I think the thing that terrifies me most is that one day, you’ll be the story I’ll tell my daughter, when she’s curled up in bed, wrapped in blankets and heartbreak, when she hasn’t eaten anything in days but the voicemails he left her, when she hasn’t been able to sleep because the goodbye that broke her shatters her bones all over again every time she closes her fucking eyes. And I’ll climb into bed with her and she’ll lay her head on my lap and I’ll try to brush him out of her hair and her tears will soak through my shirt and I’ll tell her about the boy I met when I was sixteen, who sat next to me in math class, who I fell in love with after two weeks, who saved me, who fucking destroyed me. And I’ll tell her about how it hurt. It hurt so badly it almost killed me. It hurt so badly my mother stopped going to work so she could stay home and make sure I didn’t take too many pills. And then I’ll tell her about how it got better. How it stopped hurting. How I stopped bleeding. My mother went back to work. I got out of bed. But I won’t tell her that sometimes I still have dreams about you and can hardly breathe the next day or about the pictures of you I have hidden in the attic.

#words #the things I feel when I'm not sure about anything #I'm going to be the happiest #or I am going to be in pieces

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You reminded me today of how great you are. I wish I didn't forget sometimes.

#us things #Randy rambles

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I have to be honest with you. I think about you a lot. All the time, actually. In the morning, at night, in the middle of my day. It’s you. It’s just always you.

#too many thoughts #too much confusion #hate the ups and downs #us things

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I’m not single, I’m not taken, I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves my heart.

(via makemestfu)

#shoot #I feel like there is a competition that neither knows about

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cute things i would do as ur girlfriend

•cuddle. a lot of cuddling.

•buy u clothes randomly cause i saw a shirt in the store and it reminded me of u.

•we can go out for breakfast.

•go on runs or hikes or walks with our adorable puppy

•show u good music.

•coffee runs.

•u have a permanent best friend.

•where did ur shirt go? oh yeah, im probs wearing it.

•spontaneous adventures.

•talking about everything.

•hold your hand while we walk in public cause that’s a cute thing.

#really though #I feel the need to make this new dude understand it #mostly cause I just really want someone #obviously healthy #I also really miss kris #us things

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I went on a date with another boy. Which I always sort of planned on doing while he was away. It's messing with me and my feelings a lot more than I ever thought it would.

#randy rambles #probably nothing but maybe something #I just kinda wanna just make out with him and see what happens #I haven't kissed anyone in a very very long time

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This is a big deal I think.

#so it's on this blog too #yay #miss my babe