pansexual-pied-piper

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Committing acts of aromanticism

#big mood

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given how highly gendered dating and romance is, it’s not surprising that aromantic people don’t have as easy of a time fitting in with their gender or having one/knowing what it is at all. idk food for thought

#arogender

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Your post about aromantics and gender got me thinking about some things.

So, I'm aromantic (bellusromantic specifically) and agender. I only really care about my gender presentation when it comes to worrying what bathroom I want to / should use. But I also have a platonic partner, and I have noticed that I kind of care about my presentation when it comes to my sexual relation with him.

Before and while we initially got into a sexual relationship, I did kind of test the waters a bit and see if he was more attracted to me when I presented more masc or more fem. I noticed he was attracted to me regardless, which I do really appreciate about him, but it is kind of an interesting thing to myself where I do basically try and present more aligned towards what someone I'm sexually attracted to might be more into.

Gender to me is more or less a show I put on to try and get something I want

thank you for sharing! that was really interesting

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hell yeah guys who take T in the stomach

kofi

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Yeah, I know "not all aro/aces" and all, but please don't use "not all aro/aces" as an excuse to not explore anything exclusively aro/ace ever. Otherwise any trace of aro/aceness might end up effectively lost to fandom osmosis.

To sum up... If you wouldn't be homophobic that way, please don't be aphobic that way.

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Reminder that even if your asexuality or aromantism could have a "different source", if these terms help you feel safe and advercate you needs you can still use them!

Maybe you are a "late bloomer" or "too young to know" but maybe the identity means you can explain yourself better, you can find others who feel the same, you can take things at your own pace. That's OK.

Maybe you're on medication, maybe you have some sort of neurodivergence that is affecting things. If these terms help explain your emotions or how you are "lacking" a certain thing, that's OK.

Maybe you're trans and you're not sure how your dysphoria effects it. Identities and feelings are confusing. That's OK.

Cause for every person who realises the terms no longer fit, there's someone who wishes they used the terms earlier. If you have shared experience, if the terms help you define yourself and protect yourself or hell just give a small sense of belonging that's OK.

You're welcome here

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it really is fine, but i'll take a lollipop anyway // april 25 2024

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I need

I need more aromantic allosexual rep

Please 🙏

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Im not fucking aroace. My friend keeps calling me aroace and when I correct them they say it “doesnt matter because im aro.” Im so annoyed but I hate talking about sexuality because its private to me so I dont wanna bring it up. I shouldnt have to explain my sex life to someone to prove im not aroace they should just trust me wtf

#things that 'only happen in very specific online spaces' according to some ppl #I'm sorry you gotta deal with erasure from your own friends op. #also 'it doesn't matter' my fucking ass. it matters bc it matters TO YOU. #and since it's YOUR identity‚ that's the only reasonable measure

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There is something about proudly proclaiming a show "tumblrista catnip" that makes me emotional.

Something about how for years tumblrinas were ridiculed by show creators.

Something about Supernatural having a meta episode set at a convention with all the weirdo fans that made the main characters uncomfortable. Something something about Becky and the message that fangirls are gross and obsessive.

Something about Sherlock and the way fans were portrayed as crazy obsessive nutjobs for trying to figure out how he faked his death.

Something about creators mocking fandoms, dismissing them as freaks. Something about queer people not being welcome to engage in their creations because "why do you have to make everything gay?"

Something about the malicious culture of queerbaiting throughout the 2000s/2010s, followed by Bury Your Gays tropes across the media landscape because hell, you should be grateful we even gave you queer characters to begin with - and everyone dies in our show! You ain't special!

Something about Destiel questions being banned from conventions...

And then...

Something instead about Good Omens, and letting the story adapt naturally, embracing the fanbase and leaning into the fanservice.

Something about Our Flag Means Death, and the genuine outpouring of love and affection between cast, crew, and fandom that culminated in an explosion of fanworks that were never once mocked or deemed gross or wrong.

Something about Sandman, and staunchly digging in their heels on the queerness of it all, refusing to give in to the homophobes and instead avidly mocking THEM on social media rather than us.

Something about the writers hearing about fandoms favourite ships and excitedly stating that YES! We DID lean into that because it happened naturally and made sense.

Something about a firefighter coming out as bisexual after 7 seasons...

So yeah, something about a new high quality show made FOR US. By creators that love US. Respect US, and WANT our love.

Something about US FINALLY being a target audience for the best shows being made on TV now.

Tumblrista catnip. Creators saying "we made this for you. You are important. Your voices have been heard."

It just... all got a bit overwhelming for a moment there.

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Our blessed "(m/w/d)", their barbarous "(gender neutral)"

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Napoli, Italia 🇮🇹

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there's this trick that racists/queerphobes/etc do, it's really slick. let's just do a little dialogue as an example, the names have been obscured but I've seen this exact exchange happen before.

Stephanie mc. Influencer: "And furthermore, body positivity intersects with black liberation, as black women are often held to unattainable eurocentric beauty standards"

Suave Replyboy Jr: "Lmao, you leftists always tell on yourselves, did you really just say black people are ugly??"

You see the trick here? it's kind of complicated, like, Stephanie is arguing from the perspective that beauty standards are arbitrary and subject to change, Suave understands beauty as an objective hierarchy, so he dunks on Stephanie safely from the inside of that standard. To him, and likely to many people who haven't thought about their own assumptions very much, the only reason black people would want their own body positivity movement is because they're ugly. Bonus points if Stephanie is white, and you can rile her community against her with claims of racism.

I've been getting some replies like this on my posts about sexual trauma, kink, and queerness. Like... I say that sexual deviance of all forms can intersect and correlate with queer identity, and dozens of Suave Replyboy Jrs come out and dunk on me from the other side of the glass, from inside the false universe I'm trying to discredit, the one where "sexual deviance" is immoral and associating queer sexuality with deviancy is an insult. I'm not saying queer people are dangerous perverts, that's you.

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Happy lesbian visibility week to aromantic lesbians! Y’all are cool as fuck.

Shoutout to allosexual aromantic lesbians! Your sexual attraction to women is beautiful and normal, and you aren’t bad or predatory for feeling that attraction, regardless of whether it’s accompanied by romantic attraction. Shoutout to aro lesbians who feel some romantic attraction! Your romantic attraction is just as lovely and as real as anyone else’s, even if you may experience yours differently or less often than an alloromantic person would. Shoutout to aroace lesbians. Whether your attraction to women is romantic, sexual, or something else that doesn’t fit neatly into either category, you are no less aroace for being a lesbian, and you are no less of a lesbian for being aroace.

Shoutout to aromantic lesbians who are relationship anarchists, aromantic lesbians who are nonpartnering or polyamorous, aromantic lesbians who are married, aromantic lesbians who have a zucchini/QPP or a foveo/FWB, and aromantic lesbians in soft romo relationships or waverships.

Y’all’re so wonderful, and I hope you have a splendid week!

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Hello my fellow dykes, we have officially become visible ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

All sillies aside, please consider donating to Emily Gwen or sharing this if you can! Link

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chameleon chameleon

a comic about being bigender, and bisexual, by me! happy pride everyone.