peachyy-pixxii

[peachyy-pixxii]

got a gym membership ayyy i’m going after work today

#she speaks

[peachyy-pixxii]

bought a backpack and two books, these had best keep me occupied and out of the kitchen

#she speaks

[peachyy-pixxii]

i did ok yesterday but had a bunch of spicy and greasy chicken when i got home from work and had the worst acid reflux as comeuppance this morning. but i’ve gone and binged this morning anyways 🙃 the rest of today is damage control.

i should do meal prep and just keep food ready to go in the fridge. i’ll do that on my two days off

in other news, i’m only three songs into listening the new taylor swift album as someone who’s not much of a swiftie. i can say with certainty that i would’ve absolutely devoured this album with my soul when i was 17 and was dark academia before the term existed for it

#she speaks

[peachyy-pixxii]

okay no more feeling sorry for myself. if i beat myself up i’ll encourage a mindset of giving up and getting even fatter. no purging because i’m not letting it ruin my teeth

thinking about my expenses for payday. i need the new backpack for $130, gym membership sign up is $65.52, rent is $450, and i wanted to buy a saree to practice draping before seeing my fiancé’s family but with the size i am now i don’t want to spend $70 on something just to not wear it for how ugly i personally am. so of an estimated like $875 pay, that’s $645.52 accounted for

fuck i need to get off my ass and do a work out. it suppresses my appetite but i’m just too lazy to do it until i’m ready to head out the door to work

#she speaks

[peachyy-pixxii]

all i do is make myself look fucking stupid

[peachyy-pixxii]

lmao one mini slim jim turned into a junk food binge i fucking hate myself

#she speaks

[peachyy-pixxii]

0 cal liquid fast isn’t gonna do it tomorrow, my manager asked me to come in early so 🙃🙃 i’ll do oatmeal w strawberries & some fibre powder for breakfast with coffee. then lunch at work will be the same as my work lunch today but with a can of chickpeas as well. sort of ease into omad ig

shorter shifts will be easier to do omad for, just don’t eat until i get home. i’ve hit a 200 cal move goal tho for running around at work and walking around the mall before and after. problem tho is that i noticed my backpack has a hole in the bottom corner and now i’ll have to get a new one,, and the store next to mine has kankens but they’re $115 😭 i’ll buy it tho still

#she speaks

[peachyy-pixxii]

got a packet of mini slim jims on clearance at the grocery store and ngl for 40 calories with a litre of water it definitely keeps me satiated. it tastes like i’ve eaten something substantial but my stomach still feels empty and the calories are low. will definitely buy again

#she speaks

[peachyy-pixxii]

plus side to working at the mall,, i can take the stairs and get a little more workout in even when i hate doing actual workouts at home

#she speaks

[peachyy-pixxii]

Not eating when everyone else is.

Such a superior feeling.

[peachyy-pixxii]

on my days off i’m going to do omad. summer 2022 i would do that all the time and between keeping my hands and mind busy making a cosplay and props in june and a coworker dragging me out to play volleyball in august losing weight was effortless

i would have a coffee w fibre and collagen supplements in it in the mornings and the taste of the instant coffee coming through would quell my appetite. and then for lunch it’d be a cup of mint tea for bloating. then around 6 or so i’d have one meal that was probably 700-800kcal

for this i’ll have a can of chickpeas, 1/2 cup cottage cheese, ~200g corn, 2-3 tbsp cilantro lime crema sauce from costco, hot sauce, and whatever seasonings i want. as well as a spicy chicken burger and a bunch of cucumber cut up on top of it. or generally various chickpea salads bc they keep me so full for so long

#she speaks

[peachyy-pixxii]

even after i spent a whole day shitting my guts out and not going over my calorie limit on lose it, the scale went up again what the fuck

i’m going with my food plan as far as lunch today, and then tonight and tomorrow i’m doing a 0 cal liquid fast until my lunch break. i’ll have a spinach feta wrap and a vanilla sweet cream cold brew then, and then liquid fast again until after work the next day (6:30 or 7 by the time i get home)

[peachyy-pixxii]

i hope when i get off work it’s when the bus doesn’t come for another half hour so i can just walk around the mall and get more steps in

#she speaks #maybe also look around hot topic and let myself be cringe again

[peachyy-pixxii]

your body counts every calorie even if you don't.

[peachyy-pixxii]

not to give myself a reward system bc those never work for me but,, when i get to 187/85kg i’ll allow myself a new outfit from like shein or something bc a bitch is broke

i need to go through and donate most of my clothes bc i never wear them. if i knew how to sell them i’d do that but technology is confusing

#she speaks

[peachyy-pixxii]

throwing a couple ideas out there for myself

i could

•do omad w at home workouts

•eat <1000 one day w workouts then 24h eating 0 but no workouts, alternating day by day

#she speaks #ana vent

[peachyy-pixxii]

i made this from the workout featured for like half a second on a character’s phone in sk8 the infinity. it said do each set either 4 times but ik that’s more than i can handle

i’m gonna do this for the remainder of april. the first set right after my fiancé leaves for work and the second after i wake up and have weighed myself but before breakfast

#she speaks