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It is ridiculous that if a random FOB fan posts on their personal account that it rubs them the wrong way that Pete Wentz/FOB, who are infamous for being misogynistic, are suddenly pushing this whole “Deepthroat a middle aged man!! Get him to pay money for your pussy!!! Wear toddler clothes while doing it too!!!” thing—

— Andy’s much younger influencer wife goes hunting through the dregs of stan Twitter to publicly put this random fan on blast for so-called misogyny. For months, including the DAY before this happened, I had been declining to answer, mincing words, or evading frequent anons asking me my opinion on this topic because I was nervous about this kind of thing happening due to FOB's tendency to micromanage their fanbase.

I understand being a woman in music or married to a musician can make you a target for misogynistic harassment. But this post had nothing to do with Meredith, was not tagging Carr or commenting directly on her posts, and is a perfectly legitimate opinion to express. Like I’m not even going to start on why this wasn’t OK.

But most importantly, it is a perfectly justified opinion to have that Fall Out boy pushing this music and imagery does not make women feel empowered and is icky. Here we go

This type of music

To start, on some level, Meredith is right. Women have every right to do whatever they want. Having casual sex or a daddy kink or wearing revealing clothing doesn’t make you any less of a feminist. Music expressing women’s sexuality and these aspects of women’s sexuality can absolutely be feminist speech.

However, the music of women who have pioneered this style often make music about a variety of topics beyond sex. Their songs about sex often contain a high degree of nuance and a three-dimensional view of women’s sexuality, including the negative things women experience. I’m going to explore several cases of this and then contrast them with Carr’s music.

#1: Ayesha Erotica

Ayesha Erotica is perhaps the best example of sexually graphic TikTok music as a form of female sexual empowerment. However, her songs are not just graphically about fucking dudes, they are more nuanced and subversive than this.

For example, “Sixteen” is about becoming involved with a 25 year old who wants to “beat her with his cock” and tries to film her underwear when she’s walking around. While she’s initially thrilled by the attention, the chorus is “Wait, what? I’m just sixteen. And if you try anything funny, you’re going to go to jail” and contains lines like “You know that this is wrong, I don’t want your dirty talk.”

Her tonal delivery on the chorus is important. She starts off sounding scared and confused, and then moves to more aggressive. Ultimately, this song is about a young girl learning to hold her own and rejecting a guy who is treating her in a degrading way because he has a fetish for her underage body.

Another song, “Literal Legend,” focuses on her own self-confidence and credits iconic women across a variety of backgrounds, including Lindsay Lohan, Bjork, Courtney Love, Rihanna, Janet Jackson, Paris Hilton, Marilyn Monroe, and Madonna. Many of these women’s legacies include moments where feminist issues have been spotlighted in pop culture, such as such as Rihanna being beaten by Chris Brown, Janet Jackson’s breast on MTV, paparazzi taking nonconsensual upskirt photos of Lindsay Lohan’s vagina, et cetera. While sexual at parts, the song also makes a point to highlight her extreme confidence about her small breasts, a feature that men usually mock and find unattractive; this is a subversion of traditional expectations.

#2 Melanie Martinez

Melanie Martinez is frequently and harshly criticized for her over-reliance on the shock value of sexualizing children’s clothing and the daddy kink thing.

Even so, she almost always explores more nuanced themes regarding women’s sexuality in her music. For example, “Cake” is about how she doesn't want to be valued for just sex and wants to be valued as a person.

“Teacher’s Pet” is about a student being groomed by a teacher in exchange for better grades. While the narrator is initially in love with the teacher, lines like “If I’m so special, why am I secret?”, “Stop calling me your bunny,” and “You don't own me,” demonstrate this is a song about a naive girl ultimately understanding this type of relationship is wrong and rejecting him.

“Tag, You’re It,” is about rape. “Teddy Bear” is about a nice guy who becomes abusive. Many of her songs are also not about sex. “Dollhouse” is about the facade covering a family’s problems, and “Mrs. Potato Head” is about the pressure women feel to get plastic surgery, specifically by husbands and boyfriends.

While her image often revolves around the shock value of sexualizing things associated with children, her music primarily deals with feminism and feminist topics. (Even if you can argue that it is poorly written or insensitively handled.)

#3 Scene Queen

Scene Queen is probably the newest artist doing this that has blown up. While this music is highly sexualized and she relies on the “bimbo” aesthetic, there is a high degree of subverting traditional gendered expectations in her music. “Pink Panther” is about a female orgy. “Finger” is about lesbian sex. “18+” is about male musicians grooming underage fans. “Barbie and Ken” is about Barbie killing Ken.

#4 Megan Thee Stallion

WAP—about being turned on and enjoying sex— is probably one of the biggest moments for women’s sexuality in pop culture and the controversy women singing explicitly about sex causes. Her other songs, though, explore other themes about confidence and empowerment. “Not My Fault” is about confidence and—like Scene Queen’s songs—sex between women. “Wanna Be” is about independence and dumping a guy who treated you wrong, as is her verse on “Beautiful Mistakes.” “HISS” is about confidence and empowerment despite getting hate online—and does not revolve around a man.

In contrast…. Carr

Carr’s music is not like this music, it is different. It is entirely about men, often reinforces typical sexual roles instead of subverting them, except one singular song that is likely putting down other women. Her music and her image also became way more sexually graphic and fetish-y after being signed by Pete Wentz.

Pre DCD2

2019

“Vann McCann” is about wanting guys to be more like a famous musician. “Strangers” is about drifting apart from your ex boyfriend. “Blue” is about liking a guy in spite of his struggles with depression. “Without You” is about things not working out with a guy. “Ready Yet” is about ruining a budding relationship with a guy.

2020

“Shampoo” is about missing your ex boyfriend. “Unsaid” is about drifting apart from your ex boyfriend. “Mixed Signals” is about not liking a guy back. “Circles” is about being unable to break off contact with your ex boyfriend.

2021

“Poor Boy” is about not liking nice guys back, and instead wanting guys who will “treat me like a toy,” “make me beg for more,” and leave her after sex. “French Fries” is about not liking a nice guy back. “Airheads” is about liking a guy who doesn’t like you. “Carrtoons” is about having a crush on a guy. “Kiss Me When I’m Dead” is about rejecting a guy. “Loser” is about wanting a guy to die because you don’t like him. “Sprinter Van” is about wanting to be a “groupie” and have a “one night stand” with an emo guy in a band. “Scary Movies” is about wanting a guy to die because you don’t like him.

Post DCD2

She got signed to DCD2 around 2022. There is too much album art to catalog all of it, but prior to being signed to DCD2, her album art was often photos of her standing fully clothed, or cute drawings of things like bottles of shampoo. It was not sexually graphic. It takes a turn after being signed by Pete Wentz.

2022

“Bed Head” is about giving a guy that doesn’t like you back a blowjob. “Cold Charlie” is about liking a guy who doesn’t like you back. “How To Lose A Friend in 10 Days” is about ceasing communications with a guy who you were having sex with. “Sarasota” is about hating a guy. “Sudden Death” is about being obsessed with a guy your friends hate. “XL T” is about breaking up with a guy. “Almost Famous” is about being sexually involved with a male celebrity. “TV Star” is about being sexually involved with a male celebrity.

Notably, the album art for many of these songs features her sitting on a toilet wearing red panties. There is also album art that features her in white panties. Also, “Spit” is about being in love with a guy and wanting to spit in his mouth. The album art is a woman spitting in a man’s mouth.

2023

“Sick Bro” is about having “double Ds” and “looking pretty on your knees.” The album art is her in a red bra with emphasis on her cleavage. “Dirty Shoes” is about wanting to have sex with a guy. “Spiral City” is about being sad a guy doesn’t like you back, and includes lines about being “so horny” you want to “break into his house and get naked.”

“Doctor Doctor” is about wanting to have sex with a guy who is doctor and includes “take my temperature,” which is an anal fetish thing, and implies this relationship is inappropriate. “Step on Your Face” is about stepping on a guy’s face. This is also fetish. “Garbage” is about being mean to a guy you are having sex with. “I Like Dogs” is about things not working out with a hookup.

“Voldemort” is about being the other woman with a guy cheating on his girlfriend. “Usual Medication” is about having sex with a guy after drinking too much.

Notably, the album art from this year is her in a toddler tutu and underwear standing over a guy who is looking at and grabbing her butt. This guy is a mechanic working on a car; beyond the pun, it is a reinforcement of traditional gender expectations and a typical porn setup.

“Industry Kids” is the ONLY song she has that is not specifically about romantic or sexual relationships with men. It is about hating musicians with industry connections that are almost 30 and dress like teenagers. I cannot help but notice that Daisy Grenade, the other girl band on Pete’s label, are in the right age range, and wear a style of clothing typically attributed to teenagers. They have stated in an interview that they were signed because they have connections, and that they lightly insinuated they write songs with Jakob Armstrong, Billie Joe Armstrong’s son, who was also on Pete’s label at one point.

To compound on this, a line in “Voldemort” also implies that the woman of the guy she is fucking is “faceless,” implying the song title is comparing the woman to Voldemort and putting her down. Never mind everything with JKR.

2024

“Hot Dads” is about having sex with someone’s dad. It includes the line “pay for my cat” implying this is a sugar daddy relationship, especially as this guy is rich. It is arguably her most graphic and sexual song to date.

Notably, this is her first song that was produced by Jake Sinclair. Jake Sinclair is closely involved with both FOB and Panic! at the Disco. Tobias Wincorn, who also produced the track, has produced for Panic recently as well. She has worked with many producers over the years (all male), but none of them had such a direct connection with FOB until now.

The album art features her in a tutu crawling over the lap of a much older man wearing a suit, which is a position and clothing combination commonly associated with spanking fetish material, and it goes without saying that is also implied with the “daddy” thing.

Conclusion

In conclusion, her music has obviously gotten progressively more sexually graphic and explicit since becoming involved with Pete Wentz and Fall Out Boy. Her earlier lyrics, while still entirely focused around men, seemed more like music I or my friends would listen to, and primarily was concerned with emotion and heartbreak. The album art often focused on her face and showed her wearing normal clothes and doing normal things people do like eat or be outside.

Since getting signed by Pete Wentz, and especially since she has begun to work with producers that work closely with FOB, her music and image have become increasingly sexually explicit. It often involves wanting to be degraded, getting money for sex, and fetish material such as daddy kink or rectal thermometers, and concerns themes surrounding relationships that are inappropriate due to power imbalances and age differences.

Unlike musicians that focus on women’s sexual empowerment and sexual taboos like Ayesha Erotica, Melanie Martinez, Megan Thee Stallion, or Scene Queen, there is no subversion of gendered expectations. These songs also do not explore a nuanced view of women’s sexuality that sometimes involve experiences like grooming, rape, or abuse.

They also do not focus on any other themes beyond men like self empowerment, self confidence, queer sex, or crediting women who inspire you. They are just about having sex with men, wanting men to like you, and rejecting men. The literal only song that is not about a man is potentially supposed to be some kind of manufactured feud with other women. The only song that explicitly mentions another woman is likely putting her down.

This isn’t music that I listen to. This isn’t music that most FOB fans listen to. This isn’t music that most human beings listen to. This is like Pete Wentz has a vague idea that women singing explicit lyrics like Ayesha Erotica, Melanie Martinez, and Scene Queen are popular on TikTok right now and FOB they think they can sell this genre without understanding it or the women who listen to it—or even valuing women at all—and signed a woman who previously made normal sad girl music with the intention of putting out this image.

Because FOB are pushing this music so hard and posted a photo of her posing with a member of the band looking disgusted at her wearing clothing items advocating that she is a “Deepthroat Queen,” everybody is constantly asking what we think of this or if we like this or if we think this is cool and for us to make posts about this.

She—like any woman—is allowed to do whatever she wants and express herself however she wants.

However, Pete Wentz is not a woman, he is a middle aged man, as are his bandmates. Fall Out Boy are a band that are arguably infamous for being misogynistic. They have a song title that is a joke about how unpleasant it is to have sex with unattractive women. They have a song about wanting your ex to die in a car crash because she had sex with another man. They once had a song title calling a woman a “Myspace Whore” that was changed before being finalized. Pete Wentz has said that “XO” is about groupies, and that groupies are the “wrong kind of girl.” They have a demo about wanting to kill a girl. WAMS is likely an acronym meant to put down women. This is not a band that has EVER advocated for female sexual empowerment or feminism, and in fact has made it clear they hate sluts.

Most relevant to ME and MY BLOG, I wrote an essay about Fall Out Boy that included a quote from Pete Wentz joking about the term “Grenade Jumper” being slang for how unpleasant is to have sex with fat or unattractive women. These scans, which had been online for 10+ years, were taken down after the publication of this essay and the band began selling an EDITED copy of this interview that removed this quote and changed other quotes.

Now that a band with such a misogynistic history is heavily pushing music like this, people ARE going to form opinions about it and they ARE allowed to feel negatively about it. If you want to be famous, not everybody is going to love your music.

It is disappointing and upsetting to many female FOB fans my age or younger that during their decade+ as a FOB fan, Pete Wentz never ever worked with women. When he finally does start mentoring women, it’s women who make music about wanting middle aged dads fuck you and stick things up your ass. While you wear a toddler tutu. Instead of music like The Cab or Panic at the Disco or Games We Play or Ultra Q or Gym Class Heroes. It ruins the illusion that many FOB fans have developed that the band’s view of women and the way they value women has matured for the better over the years.

Nobody should be harassing Carr online or tagging her in mean posts or commenting mean things on her posts. She is allowed to do whatever she wants. But literally nobody is doing this. 43 year old Andy Hurley’s 30 year old influencer wife got mad that a single random FOB fan felt uncomfortable with the daddy kink aspect, and publicly put that fan on blast for posting about it and insinuated this fan was being misogynistic. TBH, I feel like she knew people were saying this kind of thing on Tumblr already and went looking for someone to publicly embarrass to discourage this conversation from happening at all.

Just like the interview scans were taken down to discredit my criticism of Pete's misogyny and make me look like a liar. This is fucking ridiculous. Like be serious.

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