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physically im not here but mentally yeah im not here either 

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never let being a girl stop you from being a boy

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evan buckley: certified babygirl [insp.]

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2024 is such a busted year

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feeling SAD

#:(

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I just want what they had

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the problem isn't just that media literacy is slowly becoming a dying art. it's that people straight up do not pay attention when they watch tv/film anymore.

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Dean and Cas every day not often enough -- 6/?

Supernatural 4x10//Heaven and Hell

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the essential tragedy of eddie diaz is that he is trying to find a replacement for shannon, but not in the sense that he's looking for another mom for chris; what he wants, desperately, is to fall in love again. he wants to feel the way he felt for shannon, even when their marriage was a mess, even when everything was falling apart - even then, he loved her.

and he wants to feel that way again, but he has no idea how to make it happen. both the women he's dated since she died have been - great, on paper. so he asks them out, and he takes all the right steps, follows all the rules, shuffles through these relationship milestones that he doesn't really want, all in the hopes that the feeling he's looking for will eventually manifest, but it never does, and he doesn't understand why.

i just - i have a lot of feelings about that. eddie, and everything he feels like he's supposed to do, and be, and want, and how none of it ever seem to lead to his own happiness. he's always trying so hard at all the wrong things.

i just want him to figure out that maybe falling in love again doesn't have to look like what he had with shannon, and it doesn't have look like anything he's been taught he's supposed to want: it can be something unexpected, and new, and still beautiful

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i feel like i do 25% of what an average person does in a day and still it's too much

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so trans people should just be allowed to murder whoever they want?

your brain could revolve inside a peanut shell for a thousand years without touching the sides

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A co-worker of mine was standing outside with me during a break from customers to share a cigarette with me, and told me about how he had lost his brother that he was close with some years ago. He told me about how they used to be in a band together with some friends, and how ever since he'd died, he hadn't played any music because he'd been too scared and anxious. I told him about how I'd lost my brother to suicide some years ago.

I went home and pulled out an old tiny wooden box my brother had given me before he'd died. I'd been using it to store guitar picks I'd collected over the years, including one guitar pick that used to be his. I haven't played the guitar since he'd died, my hands are too small to play some of the chords, so I play bass and piano instead.

I went to work the next day and gifted my brothers old guitar pick to my co-worker. I told him that it'd been sitting in a box for ten years unused, and would probably sit there for longer if I kept it there. Told him that I thought he deserved to have it, because I bet he could put it to better use than I ever would. Told him I didn't feel like it was coincidence that me and him would cross paths with each other in our lives, and that it seemed suiting that we had these similar experiences but split in two halves. That somehow, I felt like he was meant to have the guitar pick. I told him that I knew he'd not played guitar since his brother died, but that if he ever decided to play again one of these days, maybe he'd be able to honor both of our brothers by using that guitar pick.

He almost cried. He thanked me. Then he went home that night and for the first time in years he played the guitar.

I don't know what the meaning of life is or what my purpose is, but I do believe that love and human connection is one of the most important things in life. It's finding ways to tell strangers you love them and share experiences with others. I think it's all just about love.

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No one:

Tumblr when my WiFi is connected and working perfectly:

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