poetryismydisease

[poetryismydisease]

Drügs

I've been hooked on drugs since I was about 10

If you ask me about it I'd say I'd do it over again

But I hate them so much, they've taken everything from me

Previous promises broken and eyes that no longer see

Pump me up with medicine and caffeine to get me through the day

Numb my body up and ignore everything I say

Slowly wrecking my body from the inside

They said it would make me better, but I think that they lie

They helped with my depression and anxiety at first

Curing me from feeling as if I was the worst

Slowly starting to help me sleep

Being better soon wasn't as big as a leap

Eventually the medication started to slow

The doctors refused to let it go

Trying 18 other different medicines and therapists

Slowly checking all options off a list

Finally found one that worked for quite a bit

Then it got so bad I wanted to quit

The doctors just began to up the dose

Suddenly I was anemic and low blood glucose

Chronic stomach issues, infections and pain

I was passing out once a month with migraines

The doctors said they were just side effects

My medical chart suddenly became so complex

Now I take more than the legal dose of Sertraline

My lungs filled with makeshift smoke and gasoline

My body is so week and I have immunodeficiency

Can't deal with my emotions efficiently

I can't get off of them even if I want to

My body's addicted, doctors say it would take forever to do

It would slowly break my body I would die before I'm clean

I'm tired of running off of validation and caffeine

#poetry #mentally drained #mentally ill

[poetryismydisease]

Never Enough

Why will I always never be enough

Was it just a horrible roll of dice

Was my sanity a good enough price

Is life personally for me just tough

or does everyone have it just as rough

Maybe they numb it up with ice

Cutting my body will have to suffice 

I'm still sure I'll never be enough

When I was a sprout, and they were just seeds

Them still in eggs, while I'm ready to fly

Now they are flowers and I'm just a weed

They have wings but I just crashed and die

They took the time to grow as they may need

But I grew through pain, and the tears I cry

#poetry #mentally ill #mentally drained

[poetryismydisease]

I Miss Me

I miss when they used to call me gifted

Making me crave all the validation

I felt like my priorities shifted

Others words were my only salvation

Would they love me more if I was thinner?

Trying in a race we all want to win

They'd like me more if I was the winner

Anorexia is surely a sin

Look on my face is constantly a frown

Why is everyone so freaking loud

King of the fools should I wear a gold crown?

Finally I might make my parents proud

I feel like everything in life is tough

I worry I'll never be good enough

#poetry #mentally ill #mentally drained