rationalpassion

[rationalpassion]

The Key to Happiness

The key to happiness is psychological flexibility. Its true. I asked my Google assistant and that was its answer. There may be economic and mental health barriers to achieving happiness. Happiness often implies a certain degree of health, but maybe not all the time. A healthy body needs exercise, healthy mind needs challenge and accomplishment, and heathy relationships need a balanced social life and all seem to need minimum amount of economic security. But challenges to all these are also essential to happiness.

The Google assistant's "psychological flexibility" answer to "what is the key to happiness?" came from this article...

https://theconversation.com/true-happiness-isnt-about-being-happy-all-the-time-88600

"Recent research indicates that psychological flexibility is the key to greater happiness and well-being. For example, being open to emotional experiences and the ability to tolerate periods of discomfort can allow us to move towards a richer, more meaningful existence."

Two paths to happiness

"Philosophically speaking there are two paths to feeling happy, the hedonistic and the eudaimonic. Hedonists take the view that in order to live a happy life we must maximize pleasure and avoid pain. This view is about satisfying human appetites and desires, but it is often short lived.

In contrast, the eudaimonic approach takes the long view. It argues that we should live authentically and for the greater good. We should pursue meaning and potential through kindness, justice, honesty and courage."

Have you experienced post-traumatic growth?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eudaimonia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonism

[rationalpassion]

Your Story is Valuable

Your many successes are a big part of your story. So too are your failures. Both have provided real learning opportunities. The first few chapters of your story were written without you. They were formed by those who came before you and what they left behind. The inherited intergenerational pain and suffering that you valiantly live with, patiently accept and possibly transcend, is a big part the beginning of your story, but it not the end. Pain and desire is part of your story. The story of you is the most important and valuable thing you have. Without it you don't exist. Your story is authored by chance, perception and will. The random chance of the universe, the perception and actions of others, and the will of your spirit that effects your choices. We may seem like chaotic little robots, but our fuzzy logic is only explainable in terms of needs of the spirit. Inspite of our circumstances there are many paths out of the sticky stuckness of our minds. These paths are often not advertised and often minimized by the selfish and limited view and poor imagination of others who are mindlessly stuck in their own muddy stories of regret, sadness, abandonment and suffering, and just want company. If we truly knew how important our story was we wouldn't let anyone else's story even come close to limiting our own, no matter how influential, impressive or admirable they appear to be. Your story is being written now, every day, and you are the main character. A character who has some say in how the story goes. Your story is a choose-your-own adventure book. So I suggest helping the universe write the best fucking story for your unique character that is conceivably possible. Have fun with it. There's rarely a dull moment when life becomes a collaborative art project with the gods of Chaos and Order. The project of one self is built with every other creative act you do. Love your self. If you are breathing and can do one creative thing then you have a chance to write yourself a better story. Your story is valuable to you. Your story is valuable to others, here now, and to those yet to come. As you are.

Wolves care little about the opinions of sheep.

Be a wolf 🐺.

[rationalpassion]

Elder Memories

I'm getting older, and sometimes I think that my memory might not be what it used to be. I'm not so worried. When I need to remember the past I just use my personal search engine. Do you do this? I journal using my phone a lot. I add pictures, the works, but mostly it's a normal written journal. I'm writing using it right now. A bit meta-weird. Anyway, I use a searchable journal app, called Journey on my phone. It reduces my need to commit things to long term memory. I don't really want to remember everything anyway. I just hit the little magnifying glass, pop in a few words... and bam it's there, better than I could remember it.

There was a time when we actually had to remember things. We also had photographs and video tape recordings to help us remember. But even they aged and faded. Some people made home movies on Sony Handycams, played them back on their Betavisions, but then engineers and designers, despite the corrupt patent offices, always found some way of making improvements to the recording and playback systems. You know the story, the big switch to VHS, DVD, Blu-ray, and gigabit/sec internet streaming. They were called improvements because they tended to improve the user's experience of a familiar and popular technology while still being accessible and affordable. Electronic devices were particularly prone to quick obsolescence due to frequent science-based discoveries, developments, and the ability to engineer things on progressively smaller scales. Noticeable improvements in the quality of audio-video recording and playback, but also in ergonomic ease-of-use, and ability for a memory device to last and be playable for years to come. In the area of video recording, optical discs are not susceptible to being erased my magnetic fields. They typically allowed people to enjoy a better product using a more pleasant, novel or familiar, and possibly more intuitive interface. The analog era was an exciting time.

The digital revolution changed everything.

We slowly realized that that making a common digital recording medium that many devices could use was the way to go. Like a Swiss army knife, amalgamation and ergonomic improvements put a powerful computer in the vast majority of everyone's pockets and hands.

Ergonomic improvements often meant that a person's usage of the product was more intuitive and familiar. The user could rely on common and familiar manual skills or gestures to control the machine. It's easier to go from riding a horse to a motorcycle than a jet airplane. Hand gestures have been used for millennia to accomplish non-verbal communication by humans. Using hand gestures to move a mouse or interact with a touch screen is an easy step for most. Also many technologies require that a written symbolic language is already developed and used by the vast majority of the population. As is almost always the case for most cultures in the world. But the real advancement came when world wide wired and wireless data connectivity with several layers of technology, hardware, protocols and languages allowed for ubiquitous access to information.

The Journey journaling app works very well. I think I pay $4o/year for it. It allows quickly publishing a journal entry as blog post to Tumbler. It's has a great search engine. I also like that it's cloud-based, and automatically synchronized so I don't have completely rely on my phone for its existence. It's works via a PC too. When I look up really old entries I can see how some memories stand the test of time better than others. Many memories are interesting or cherished because they are old and foundational, elder memories. I'm fine if my memory storage is externalized. It'll very likely last longer than my brain-based memories anyway.

P. S. This blog post, obviously the ramblings of a slightly stoned 40-something tech guy, may not be everyone's cup of tea 🍵. : )

[rationalpassion]

Only on Hunter

yellow lambo rambles by,

greasy fat dude trying to look fly

is he that Ron Jeremy porn star guy?

I'm on Hunter sitting at the Only,

When alone here, I'm never lonely

Surrounded by pop stars,

more famous than Euro supercars,

and a poster of Carmanah Walbran,

sippin Guinness, healthy like All-bran

on her Lug Tread is a fine tractor

the flowing Jackson destracts her

Red Fife wheat is local, who knew it

harvest, smash and brew it

like Black Honey tea,

day dreaming of a cabin by the sea,

maybe after getting her PhD,

she'll be free to climb that big old money tree,

Chomsky says we should activate,

but I'm thinking it's not too late,

to just enjoy this date.

do we really need to satiate

the greedy minded to pivot

our collective fate?

[rationalpassion]

Healing is Personal

August 20, 2023

Healing is a personal endeavour. Nobody can force another to make healthy choices or rely on another to heal from emotional damage. Others can create a safe place to heal. They can avoid further damage by being caring and compassionate. They can make recommendations based on the their healing after a similar experience. They can point to the success of others. They can support and create the conditions for healing to happen. Like the body, the mind needs a safe place to rest to heal.

Today I read that "Two damaged people trying to heal each other is love. " A quote apparently by one R. H. Sin.

This sounds nice initially, but a potentially bad situation if one doesn't take responsibility for their healing. Trying to heal someone sounds like trying to fix someone.

If we treat emotional damage like a physical injury, a surgeon can help prevent infection with cleaning and suturing but I still need to take care of myself to heal. My body heals itself, and my mind can heals itself but only if I care for myself, avoid reinjury, accept my mortality and cultivate gratitude.

To be healing for someone requires that we bring our positive energy and take the time to create and maintain a safe and healing environment.

I have failed to be healing for someone if I participate in creating a less safe space. Sometimes we just need a place to feel safe and secure.

It is challenging to create a safe space if we condone and accept aggressive, violent, hateful or paranoid behavior. We heal best when we find peace.

[rationalpassion]

Contemplating Dignity

August 8, 2022

Dignity is the quality of being worthy of respect. As social, emotional and rational beings we soon discover that feeling good about ourselves is an essential part of an enjoyable life. Respecting oneself is much easier if we are respected by others. Feeling worthy of respect is at the core of our self-esteem, confidence and wellbeing.

Maintaining dignity is a subjective experience within a socioeconomic context. Individuals in certain contexts have differing strategies for maintaining dignity depending on who they feel are judging them. Competing with others, and striving for the admiration of our peers can quickly become problematic in its own right. A well kept front lawn gains the respect of neighbours, but $200,000 in front yard landscaping could have went to a charity instead.

The title of Dignitary seems to apply to those of high enough social status to act as apex role-models of dignified behaviour as judged by other elites in our society. For other people, in other contexts, having a shower and wearing clean clothing is enough. Dignity is a feeling that is linked to meaning in our lives, emotional well-being, how we relate to others around us, and how we feel about ourselves. Our most valuable possession is a healthy mind. A healthy body, environment, and everything else is built on this foundation. Valuing, respecting, and caring for one-self is an important part of being mentally and physically vibrant human being. We can more effectively care for others by first caring for ourselves.

Building confidence and dignity is accomplished by making our own choices, following through to completion, reflecting on the result, then adjusting our strategies and techniques for best enjoy this chance at artful living. This sequence of choice-based learning is essential to build self-esteem.

The best case scenario is when our inner mental world and our outer material world help us find joy, peace and equanimity despite what life throws at us or what situation were are in.

I believe a homeless person who is living on the street or in a park who feels they are safe, harmless and still worthy of respect can make better choices that can improve their situation. Those who live in better economic contexts are often blind to the efforts of those living in the rough corners of society. Addiction and mental health disorders often produce behaviours that overshadow people's efforts to maintain dignity.

To discover what motivates us, a good question to honestly and thoroughly answer for ourselves is "What is dignity to me ?

What do I find undignified? What do I find embarrassing or shameful? Why?

How do I maintain it? What behaviours, actions, habits support it? What materials do I need?

What would I need to do to loose it?

How do others define dignity for themselves? What is their baseline? How is it different from my definition?

What is in my control? What isn’t?

These are often challenging questions to answer since dignity is strongly linked to our life situation, identity, pride, ethics, and emotions.

Several behaviours that support dignity and self-respect:

- Grooming, cleanliness, hair, oral health.

- Clothing - style and cleanliness

- Food choices and eating habits.

- Respecting common and shared areas and roadways. Walking, biking, driving as well as safe as possible.

- Home and car cleanliness and organization.

- Caring for and maintaining our body's functional needs - eating, drinking, pissing, shitting, spitting coughimg, sneezing, burping, farting, bleeding.

- Language. Self-pep-talk. Encouraging speech. Using caring and inclusive words. Avoiding profanity, offensive, disrespectful words. Efforts to not interrupt and focus on listening to others.

- Emotional Cognation. Tuning into emotional states of self and others. Kindness, patience, awareness, interest, generosity, caring, reciprocity. Avoid disrespecting the shared soundscape, land, air and water. Respect for others in your community.

- Self-reliance. Finding ways to not need to not ask, borrow, or beg for things or money.

Self-care and self-respect, and dignity can be improved by having safe social spaces that promote and support it. These places are often described as "sacred" or “civilized”, in contrast with being industrialized, institutionalized, or militarized. They are often well cared for, frequently maintained, and promote relaxed social interaction, contemplation and connection to others. Creature comforts, food and drink are often available. It is possible that a universal minimum or basic income is required to prevent loss of dignity on a large scale. War seems to cause a great loss of dignity for many.

[rationalpassion]

False Sexpectations

August 8, 2022

Using false names, deceptive information, and filtered or stolen photos, is very common, especially on Internet platforms where one can offer sexual experiences, real or virtual, in exchange for money and other security. This dishonesty may disappoint or hurt others on actual dating platforms, but for the real world escort and sex service providers and online "Only Friends" entrepreneurs and clients, identity fabrication is expected. Providing online sexual content that meets the desires of others might be offensive or sad to some, but it is a relatively safe and often profitable side-gig for others. Women especially have, over thousands of years of creative and deceptive development, used sexualized alter-egos to gain control over men for profit.

ln the same arena as financial profiteers there are those who may only seek the attention others to feed their ego. They want to be "cute", "hot" and "high-value" and often date others to maintain their confidence, and not profit financially directly. Many are not looking for long term partners.

Today, online, we can erroneously derive quantifiable and comparable metrics of self-effecacy and self-worth based on activity data by users, customers and number of "friends". Meeting the sexual, entertainment, and therapeutic needs of people online remains in demand despite the saturation of content providers. All is accomplished via computer interface that requires a variety of strategies to maintain secure isolation from the "in-real-life" world, the one we might walk down an actual street in.

This new interconnected world seems challenging and scary, especially to the elder generations, but the "in-real-life" world is more frightening to most in the younger cohort. The new virtual layer of society is still relatively new, yet many are using it to survive. and meet their need for love and connection. Our socialist-capitalist, class-structured society still demands an exchange of service to meet our survival needs. Labour is in demand. Who is responsible? Not the young, not the old. Young people's behaviour makes perfect sense. Sacrifices need to be made. Older people think their money will protect their kids. It won't. We should expect people will be doing this and we should try to make it as safe as possible for them to do so.

This online sex commerce provides intimacy and sexual gratification but also promotes objectification, injustice and oppression. Gender ambiguity may be one strategy to avoid the shame of being a man or a woman in this economy. By not being easily categorized, maybe there is freedom in the lack of clarity. Various human needs, such as love, acceptance and security remain. Many believe their best strategy to achieve this is to compete sexually in this ultra-superficial and self-centred world. An arena they didn't make but were born into. Some find it empowering to use their sexuality to target the sex drive of others and find apparent success by leveraging cultural grey areas to meet their desires and needs. The wealthy and poor can both play this game. The internet seems like a grand equalizer.

It's revealing how many young women now directly ask via dating apps to be compensated financially for "fun" to meet their university or other goals. Many others have found ways to monitize their targeted sexualized videos, audio and image via apps like Only Friends. Enough income for it to be their part or full-time work, shirking a stressful post-grad profession, mind-numbing service work or body-breaking labour. Views, likes, up-votes, hearts and shares translate into popularity and real money. YouTube, Reddit, Instagram, TikTok, and common dating apps also provide a platform. People like the damnedest things. Since even the most revolting or immoral media artifact can get millions of shares as long as it is novel and kindles one of our many potential feelings. Almost anyone can be popular, and lead the sympathic or likeminded into the darkest cesspools moderated by intentionally disinforming, anarchy loving, institution-hating, anonymous , conspiracy-generating influencers. Heaps of evidence now show that the internet has been generally over-run by fearful, selfish, greedy and triballly competitive people and easily corruptable organizations around the world. It is now a better tool to erode a person's self-confidence and capability than build it. My only advice is get off this "virtual carousel" and do something real that only uses the web as a supporting tool not your main operating system. Remember, if you didn't build the app, you are a victim-user of it. Users are losers: drugs, apps, people. You have one life. There are other ways.

[rationalpassion]

Swim Outside the Bowl

August 7, 2022

If you take the opportunity to step outside of our popular North American culture for a moment, you will see that what we're doing to each other as competitive agents is wrong-minded, self-destructive and brings predictable yet unnecessary emotional pain and suffering. If we adopt, even briefly, another cultural mindset, like Buddhism for example, we can see clearly that using and resenting others is selfish and hurtful.

This shift in perspective is not easy and not without risk or sacrifice. Those who succeed, even briefly, will likely suffer isolation, career limitations, financial loss, and may be incorrectly labeled with a mental disorder by others who wish to conserve traditions they feel continue to serve their needs. In trying to defy the dominant culture you will feel alone and may temporarily lack confidence and feel afraid. We are programmed to get along and do what we are told. You may actually suffer mentally unless you find support with other likeminded people. This is a challenge but there are solutions.

[rationalpassion]

Inside & Outside

July 19, 2022

I still enjoy playing outside in the sand, dirt, mud and snow. Often for hours as I did when I was a kid. I occasionaly get paid to do it now, building and repairing buildings and maintaining properties. It occurred to me today that maybe I felt safer outside as a child. Outside I had some control over my environment. Inside my parents were often at war with each other fighting about freedom and responsibility. Fueled by economic and mental health stresses, misunderstandings, and deeply held beliefs of the time. Yelling at each other in contempt, rage and tantrum. Worse than the occasionsal hole punched in the wall was the hole in the trust my two younger sisters and I had in them. I still don't believe they knew how demonstrations of anger and violence eroded the stability they worked so hard to create as caring parents. They never apologized. We three kids were never hit or harmed physically during these battles, yet arguments were never resolved respectfully in front of us. Compromise or concession was never clear. Confusion and chaos remained. They tried the best with what they had I suppose. I hold no resentment. For me, there remains much work to do, inside myself and being outside still helps.

Outside, as a child, I felt safe. I was free to meet my need for creative play, adaptive learning, healthy interactions and emotional development.

My home is a sanctuary. I would like to extend that that level of peace to my neighbourhood and whole community, and country if possible. Yet violence abounds. Hurting souls, desparation, and fearful aggression is seen everywhere. Hate-filled acts based on resentments and perceived ideological and tribal differences lead to division, misunderstanding and distrust. Unchecked emotions lead to unconscious reaction and misdirected assaulting and insulting behaviour. Homicide leading to complete loss of social freedom happens weekly in my area. The news is depressing. Yet we all hope for the best and feel sad, and hope for peace. It doesn't seem like enough.

I still walk streets and to risk witnessing or experiencing the violence of others. If we try to look inward and outward, and make peace, with our selves and others, maybe that energy will rub off. There is much work to do, inside and out, our homes and selves.

Peace ✌️ to the People.

[rationalpassion]

Ocean Waves

July 4, 2022

Perhaps we people are like waves on the ocean. All seemingly different but connected. Busily we roll along, bound to each other in this greater body of water. We barely have time to look down into the depths of our substrate. If we could see from the bottom or high above, we would find that we really don't exist as individuals at all. It would be clear that we are the surface of a grand ocean. A chaotic interference pattern where gas meets liquid, air meets water. At our essence we are the rhythmic sequence of a playful dance between a star and a planet. We don't need to know this, of course, to keep rolling along as individual waves. At some point however, we may wonder why some waves of similar length meet and add in sync, and others meet out of sync and cancel each other out. We laugh, we cry. Also where does one wave end and another begin? And what, praytell, is our wind that spawns us, propels us to a distant shore, where we meet our end, turning rock into sand?

[rationalpassion]

Good Art

June 24, 2022

Good art acts as an interdimentional portal. It offers the brave and open-minded a chance to leave their familiar pragmatic dimension and temporarily visit an unlimited, timeless place. Creative and playful use of sound, light, odour and texture can transport our minds to a deeper and more immediate consciousness. One that immediately arises from our sensual awareness and felt sense of being and connection. While visiting, shifts in consciousness are bound to happen. In accepting this invitation to this timeless dimension of the pre-civilized human consciousness, a universal language without letters, words or standard grammar is revealed. Layers of heavy self-conceptualizations can melt away in this space. Like visiting a peaceful island nation, we will inevitably bring back a few interesting souvenirs. Good art can help make our practical home world a more loving and peaceful place.

[rationalpassion]

Sparks and Flowers

May 19, 2022

I'll try be a real "bro" here. I know you know this, but the Universe did not create women as objects to gratify the sexual needs of men. They are also not here for the sole purpose of human reproduction either. The biblically oriented culture and social strategy of male-domination and possession is winding down and becoming obsolete. We can do better when we respect each other. A spirit like yours and mine lies inside the body and mind of all women, and men alike. By valuing and putting the other gender first we can honour our differences in form, function and ability. We can love the whole person without trying to possess them despite our undulating sexual urges and instincts. We benefit by respecting and honouring human beauty and sexuality.

Maybe it's my current state of being single, but every time I mention bumping into and chatting with a women to some guys, they immediately sexualize the interaction. "Was she hot, or was she cute?" I get it. They have desires and I think they're trying to be a "bro", but the objectifying chauvinism comes across as disrespectful and adolescent. I can almost tell when guys I know didn't have sisters growing up. They lack respect and maturity when they immediately objectify women. It's not how I wish to be. I value my relationships with many women, single or partnered, younger or older, without being driven by the goal of being intimate with them. I also wish to spend time with women who are fun, resilient and successful and who I admire beyond my wanting to be with them. I know many women who are socially and personally successful in ways that men like myself often lack and struggle with.

I like the idea of a new-age gentlemen and gentlewomen. I find it helpful to remember that we are all the product of a woman and man, and have vastly more in common than in difference. I have never found the saying "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" very helpful. Not everything needs to be gendered and sexualized. I look for activities that bring people together. So much online tries to separate people into factions. I'm tired of it.

I agree with Ivana Milojevic that while traditional patriarchy has assigned the role sex-object to women, it assigns to men the role of violence-object, with male expendability being corollary to the sexual objectification of girls and women.

I would like to live beyond this construct. I want to be peaceful, relaxed and minimize violence in and around me. Valuing and respecting men and women as sparks and flowers of the universe, other than objects of desire and utility, seems like a good place to start.

I am but a single example of the male half of this human experience. I will continue to put women first. I refrain from identifying as a feminist because I see feminism, like male superiority, often being toxic and divisive. All men should be closet feminists. Our culture should instill in men, a love and respect for our mothers, aunts, sisters, partners, and others who bodies carry a heavier burden of maintaining humanity. Women are stronger than men in so many ways. I wish both women, men and all who identify differently the most peace and joy this brief life can offer.

#sexual objectification #male expendability #relationships #healthy relationships

[rationalpassion]

Pointlessness

March 9, 2022

During a hike today I found myself embracing the idea of pointlessness, and how it can be an illuminating and eye-opening mental state to embrace. It feels liberating to just do something without knowing exactly why. I find that sort of liberation enjoyable. Pointless fun is something to aspire to rather than avoid.

Some of the most enjoyable times that I've ever had seemed like pointless fun. At some point along the way I adopted the idea that to be a responsible person that I must have a reason beyond enjoyment to do things. There was always some further reason to get a job, a car, a house, a family, some point to it all or it was all for naught. A sort of heaviness set in. Perhaps I was scared or fooled into seeking a grand purpose in this life. Yet I eventually learned that every reason requires a context. And many contexts are socially fabricated containers for our reasons. Pointlessness fun soon became a childish state of luxury that we may only find again in our adult lives once all of our survival needs have been met. This now seems like a bit of a long con.

Other similar terms that can describe pointless behaviour include purposeless, meaningless, aimless, and useless.

Historically, a sense of meaning in myself seems to have aligned with that for life in general. Is life pointless? Am I pointless? These are tough existential questions but they don't seem to get in the way of directly experiencing the joy of doing something for the sake of doing it. An internal self-satisfying sense of flow happens during certain challenging activities that require skill and coordination. When I am hiking I often have this experience, but I'm also moving toward some destination. But the destination always seems secondary while immersed in the the moment.

These terms almost always arise in pejorative ways in popular media, movies and life. For example, a father may say that his son is useless and believe that working in the basement building computers is pointless. The point is to have fun. Why are you doing that? "Because I enjoy it" is a great answer.

Why not celebrate pointlessness when it arises.

Pain is still painful. Survival is still desirable. We don't need a purpose other than to reducing suffering. Our best behaviours can still be complimented and promoted. We don't need to drop into existential dispare when a grand life purpose is never found. We are the product of our biology and our experience. Everything that effects our brain and body as we age and experience in our educational programming, surrounding environment, secret places, and the life that surrounds us, animals, friends, family, food, community and culture. So little that shapes 'us' is our choice. Peace and joy are the point.

[rationalpassion]

Me, myself and I.

December 6, 2021

Recently people have told me that being unpartnered and alone is an opportunistic time to "shore up a solid sense of self". Their words come from a place of caring. It seems the goal here is to somehow revive or create a self or identity that stays the same and transcends time, events, context and future relationships. This seems like well intentioned advice but is it actually possible? I doubt that those who say they have found this solidified self are perpetually living with "full confidence in their identity". Consider how solid your social self is as you switch from speaking with a child to speaking with your mother or father. You play different roles at different times and we are different selves in different contexts. Perhaps some part of me transcends context but it seems to be something separate from my interactive social self anyway. Of course I will never know the mind of another but I've never witnessed someone who appears to be one ultra consistent self in all contexts.

Another thing to consider is which sense of self are they referring to, that we need to "shore up"? I am not alone in recognizing that there are multiple dimensions of self and that each self, each identity is constructed and perpetually refreshed in our body's neural network as we sense and experience pleasure and pain and strive to meet our organism's essential needs in this dynamic world. The social self is but one of several.

Scientists like Anil Seth, who study human consciousness, have identified at least five different ways or dimensions that we experience a conscious self. These are the bodily self, perceptive self, volitional self, narrative self, and the social self. Each self is created neurologically as our brain and body extends evolved allostatic and homeostasic internal survival strategies to the outside world. Each "self" is independent in that one can fall away while the others remain. Yet while online and active they cross inform each other. Each self is a process not a fixed state, that evolves and assumes new identifications as it grows.

Instead of striving for a single solid sense of self perhaps energy is better spent improving the process of aligning these selves so they compliment each other. If our social self, that everyone sees, is more aligned with our narrative, bodily, perceptive, and volitional selves, we might be more relaxed and confident. To be a caring active peaceful person in the world a healthy identity set is required. I believe that it is possible to build one that resonates with our nature, the lives of others, and the rest of the world.

Others such as the late Michael Stone agree with my intuitions and understandings that we are fluid and not solid beings.

From Michael Stone's "about" section of his home page.

"From an early age, Michael knew vividly what is true for all of us—that the mind is more unstable than it seems. The goal of mindfulness practice is not shoring up a solid self; it’s waking up to the reality of the fluid, ever-changing ground we live on, a ground that cannot be fully knowable and can even at times be disturbing. In the face of this knowledge, Michael remained open, bright, and curious." 

Many people, including Sam Harris, agree that our selves and even our free-will are mental constructs that evolved to help us survive, navigate, cooperate and share this world with each other, and that they can get in the way if we can't see beyond them.

Related Links:

https://www.anilseth.com/

https://michaelstoneteaching.com/

https://www.samharris.org/

[rationalpassion]

Security

November 30, 2021

There are truths out there that are true enough to give us some comfort and security. Fire is still hot. Water is still wet. Ice is still slippery, or slippy if you're in Ireland. Air is still breathable, in most places anyway. Plants are still green, when they aren't hibernating for the winter. Trees still make shade, more so with leaves. People remain adaptable, moreso when they aren't rigidly clinging to adopted ideas, the past, or grasping for the next desired thing. 

We are given the grand challenge of navigating a world where nothing seems secure, for certain or able to be taken for granted. It takes continual effort to maintain a sense of security. This applies to the wealthy and poor alike, but in different areas of need and with different stakes. 

Currently our inherited code gives us a maximum of twelve decades of life, on average seven or eight. Denying the natural process of growing old does not help us live better. Accepting it does. Deep down we know our lives are not secure for the long term, yet we rightly strive to survive and thrive in the short term. Aware of gains, losses, rewards and suffering. It seems easier to just deny our lack of control and just get angry at others and the world when things don't go our way. Or we could let go of our expectations and accept life's insecurities as natural and inevitable. Accepting life's changing nature means living each day a little surprised you are even still alive to experience it at all. 

Security concerns:

health

relationships

employment

immediate income

retirement income / pension

freedom

equality 

peace

[rationalpassion]

What is Healthy?

November 28, 2021

We often frame health in terms of ability.

A healthy heart pumps blood, a healthy liver filters it, and healthy lungs oxygenate it. Healthy bones provide a strong frame. Healthy muscles moves our mass. Healthy senses bring samples of the world into our conscious experience. A healthy brain remembers, solves, plans and regulates our emotions. A healthy stomach digests our food. Healthy teeth chew it. Heathy hands do our work. Heathy food keeps us heathy and a healthy self cares for itself and others. And so on. 

With our sexual reproductive parts, the idea of healthy tends to get culturally and politically challenged. Breast and penis size and shape are often more seen and valued as pleasure tools than their ability to serve their biological function. As if they were a sort of add-on apparatus purely designed to please our self and others. Biologically healthy human beasts, penises and vaginas come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Most still do what they need to do. Milk, semen, and offspring come out when conditions are met. They have been needed for the continuation of our mammalian species. A man's penis does not even need to enter a vagina to give a woman a child. A healthy penis, prostate and set of testicles, produces and delivers viable sperm for a while, and then it doesn't due to age or elected vasectomy. Typically, our lower sexy parts are treated as tools to get various jobs accomplished. In this regard a healthy penis or vagina is one that performs well in its ability to please oneself, please another, contribute to pregnancy, and accomplish painless urination.

As far as protecting your child and partner goes, muscle strength and coordination are helpful but useless against erratic vehicles, social media/drug addiction, illness or disease. A parent's caring and adaptive brain remains the best thing to protect and successfully raise a child.

Of course our definition and expectations of what is healthy is adjusted with age. The muscle endurance of a healthy 80 year old is not expected to be the same as a 20 year old. As we age our abilities change and many are eventually lost, until our most essential bodily functions are lost, and we die. 

It is understandable that framing health in terms of ability might minimize people who identify and/or are identified by others as being disabled in the some way. Socially, I find this very problematic and returns us to the of realm of socialized and eugenic concepts of health. I find it helpful to remember that yes, the overall health of one's body can be impacted by a lack of individual "unhealthy" body parts, but since we have the cognative, social and technological ability to accomodate and assist ourselves and others, a "disabled" person can be extremely able in many areas even though their body does not posses a common ability in one or more areas. I have seen many people who self-identify as being differently able, "disabled", or having "special needs" be very heathy as a whole person.

Are there other ways to frame health?  Perhaps. I am open to that idea, and would like to hear about it. 

[rationalpassion]

Tsunami

November 10, 2021

I find it helpful to liken this pandemic to something a little less mysterious and a little more tangible, such as a tsunami. They are different of course, but both are slow and powerful forces that don't seem to have any respect for our wellbeing. They don't happen that often so many people are immediately in denial. Many people will be stuck in their dogmatic ways and slow to change their behaviour. Some will not like to be told that the beach is closed. Some will choose to hopelessly stay on the beach. Some will blame it on others. Many will suffer direct loss from it, even those in denial. Many governments will try to mitigate the loss of their tax-paying citizens, but will inevitably say and do irrational things. Some people will do everything right and reasonable, and yet will still be taken by the wave. The old and vulnerable will be left behind, except those who have exceptional resources or caring families. Many will survive by taking it seriously and move themselves to a safer place. A few have had the resources to make serious plans for it and are riding it out in their hillside hideouts. A few will profit from it. Worrying about the next wave might distract or prevent us from other more important immediate challenges, like over-crowded beaches, sunburns and sharknados. Those who survive are left to rebuild and repopulate. This is what we do. We survive. How we survive matters too, but that's a whole other topic.

RP