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succulentsiren · 22 hours

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As the legend tells, never believe men’s words, watch their actions and you will know everything.

Men will swear up and down that they won’t participate in ‘simp’ behavior yet the moment they find the girl they adore, all that goes out the window and they become natural providers and protecters who will willingly dote on and adore their partner. It’s literally in a their nature to be providers and care for women. It makes no difference how much they reject it or disown it in speech, it is the natural role they’ll eventually take.

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dewdropsintheevening · 2 days

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Why do you love her?

When you ask me "Why do you love her" I find my words tangled on my tongue

I cannot describe to you why I love her Mere words could never do her justice

Her love is gentle Her love is kind Her love is selfless Her love is unconditional

I look for her in every painting I observe I look for her in every song that is sung I look for her in every poem I read I look for her in every dream that I've dreamt

When we meet It is as if time has stopped completely My world is taken up by her presence I feel at home for the first time in many lonely years

When you ask me "Why do you love her so?" I find my mouth numb For mere words could never describe what we have

She took me in my broken entirety Observing my cracks and imperfections She saw the rotting garden inside of me And tended to it, as a mother would to her sick child

For every scar she saw She kissed it to make it feel better For every wound reopened She embroidered new skin for me

She doesn't see a wilted garden She doesn't see a worn down garment She doesn't see a tainted piece of flesh Nor does she see a waste of breath

She does not see these things Like others most often do She only sees my entirety And she deems it beautiful

When I am broken into pieces Backed into a corner and shaking Naked and vulnerable like a feral dog She doesn't scorn, nor shun

She takes me in And soothes me Like a mother would a crying infant Gentle and reassuring, she tells me

"Everything will be okay."

When you ask me, "Why do you love her?" I find my mouth empty, my only answer being "She loves me too."

#poems on tumblr #poemsbyme #poetry #poems #relationships #love #lovers #couple #intimacy #healing #healing journey #self awareness #gratitude #romance #healthy relationships #this is like a breath of fresh air for me to write #I cannot tell you how thankful I am that I have her in my life

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theambitiouswoman · 3 months

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Green Flags in Communication 💚💬

"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."

This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.

"I don't want you to feel alone in this."

This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.

"I've been struggling with ___”

This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.

"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."

This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.

"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"

This is an example of constructive communication.

"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"

This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.

"I appreciate when you ___.”

Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.

"I didn't handle that well."

This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."

Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.

"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."

Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.

"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"

It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.

"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."

Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.

"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."

Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.

"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"

Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.

"I trust your judgment on this."

Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.

"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."

Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.

"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"

Validates the other person's feelings.

"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."

Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.

"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."

Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.

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inmyperfectworld · 1 month

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𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚢𝚙𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝙸 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚢, 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚎, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎. ♥️

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hellbrainspeaks · 2 years

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You do not owe your partner(s) sex. I mostly see this passed around in the asexual community, and it absolutely needs emphasis there, but this applies to anyone of any orientation. You never owe your partner(s) sex under any circumstance.

If your sex drive or libido is lower than your partner’s, you may feel obligated to “keep up” with them to make them happy. But you have a right to say no, or not be in the mood, or be too tired, or just not want to right now. Your partner(s) should respect your right to say no and your bodily autonomy.

If your partner(s) try to harass, manipulate, or coerce you into having sex when you say no, they’re an asshole. Having said yes in the past does not mean you can never say no. It is not your responsibility or obligation to provide sex. You do not need to violate your own boundaries to make someone else happy. Your partner(s) should respect your right to say no, and if they don’t, they don’t deserve you.

Your body belongs to you, and you decide what’s best for your sexual health. Happy Pride

#hellbrain dump #pride #queer pride #lgbt pride #lgbtq positivity #queer positivity #asexual pride #ace pride #mental health positivity #mental health support #mental health matters #mental health blog #healthy relationships #interpersonal effectiveness #actually borderline #actually bpd

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desultory-suggestions · 2 months

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If you see someone behaving in a way that’s reminiscent of a person who has harmed you before you have every right to be cautious. You can give them some room to show they’re different or you can trust your gut and go separate ways. Just don’t be afraid to draw a line when it comes to how you will allow yourself to be treated.

#suggestions #suggestion blog #relationships #friendships #healing #boundaries #healthy relationships #building healthy relationships

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lumitytakes · 1 month

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LUZ ALWAYS KEEPS HER PROMISES TO AMITY.

1. Luz risks a lot to get Amity's job back.

Luz keeps her promise till the end, not only because she's a reliable person but also her affection for Amity. Luz knows how important the library job is to Amity, and the library is also the place where the two start to make amends after Otabin's incident. It is implied that Luz really fights tooth and nail, as you can see that there are scratches on her face and arms. Her clothes are also torn with some burnt spots.

2. Luz promises Amity to take her out on a mundane date.

Despite feeling depressed after the King's Tide event, Luz still tries her best to spend time with her girlfriend from cute milkshake date to swimming one. Luz also makes sure to help Amity feel better after the whole event and get used to the temporary life in the Human Realm.

3. Luz keeps the promise of not hiding her emotions.

- When Amity approaches Luz to ask her about how she's feeling, Luz is honest with everything. She confesses to Amity about her desire to connect with her Palisman and her insecurity of making mistakes. When Amity shows Luz the picture of her, Eda and King, Luz expresses her wanting to save Eda and King no matter what it takes.

- At Hexside, Luz is about to tell Amity about her intention of staying at the Human Realm forever then Kikimora interrupts them. She takes the initiative to tell Amity the truth, and doesn't hide things anymore.

#the owl house #toh #luz noceda #amity blight #lumity #healthy relationships

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corvase · 1 year

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hesitant love prompts

+ accommodating love interest dialogue :)) feel free to use <3

“how many times do i have to tell you you can trust me?”

“what can i get you? do you need water? a hug? space?”

“i’m sorry. i just don’t think i’m ready.” “don’t apologize. it’s okay.”

“i think i’m ready.”

“thank you for being patient.” “you never have to thank me for that.”

“are you frustrated with me?” “never.”

“i just don’t want to be hurt again.” “i understand.”

“can you give me a second? i need a moment.”

“don’t apologize.” “sorry.” “name.”

“it’s okay. take your time.”

“if you tell me you want me to leave i’m gone, okay? don’t ever feel like you can’t take a break from me.”

when the love interest first asks them out and they’re like i’m really sorry but no… but the love interest doesn’t mind

“would you like to go on a date?” “i could do a date.”

more promrps like this in my healthy relationship prompts in my pinned master list…

#healthy hesitant relationship prompts woah that’s a mouthful #hesitant relationship prompts #romance prompts #healthy relationships #healthy conversation starters #dialogue prompts #romance dialogue prompts #writeblr #writing #writing tips #writing advice #writing prompts #writing romance #romance writing prompts #imagine your otp

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prettieinpink · 6 months

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MAKING FRIENDS ♡

Friends add so much value to your life. Especially ones that you like, and there is a positive healthy exchange of support and love in between. However, some of us do struggle to create meaningful friendships that last. To start this post, I will start by talking about how friendships are essential to becoming the best versions of ourselves.

Friends help us in many ways, even if they don’t even do it directly. We discover new things about ourselves just by talking to them, we have a sense of belonging and build our self-esteem. It’s not impossible to have these things and be alone, though being alone for extended periods can fester feelings of social isolation & loneliness.

As someone who’s experienced both, usually, these feelings can make us spiral deeper as it is just the tip of the iceberg. Humans need daily communication to feel sane, which has been proven again and again.

If you decide to invest a lot more time, effort, and energy in friends, there’s bound to be an overflowing amount of rewards. Hanging around the right people can open up new opportunities for yourself drive you closer to achieving your goals and help advance your skills.

This being said, if you invest in the wrong people or neglect your friends, the opposite will more than likely happen. Remember that the people you allow in your life can influence you, whether for better or worse.

REDEFINING YOUR MINDSET TOWARDS MAKING FRIENDS

Your mindset is so crucial to making friends. It can either help you or not. Another thing is that your mindset towards life, in general, can either repel or attract people to be around you.

Firstly and importantly, do not get attached to people you barely know. Don’t overthink about them, change yourself for them or get anxious waiting for a reply. Seriously, detach. Little things like replies or if they’ll like you, should not bother you. The concept of it bothering you should not even exist in your mind.

Secondly, do not think of humans as assets to support your growth. This is just so icky and once you get that materialistic perspective on friendships, it just becomes harder to create meaningful ones. While friends can help you grow and achieve your goals, they will drop you once they realise they’re being taken advantage of.

Thirdly, stay true to yourself. A bit of common advice, yet not widely followed. Never, ever, make the effort to change yourself for someone to like you a bit better. If someone doesn’t like you for just who you are, they’re not meant to be in your life, forcing it causes unnecessary & avoidable circumstances.

Fourthly, quality over quantity always. When you get older especially, it shouldn’t be your priority to gain masses of friends. Most likely, not all of your friends like you because it’s harder to invest in all of them and causes you to neglect them.

However, having quality friends who help you grow and succeed will never stop serving you in life even if that friendship falls out. Plus, you are too busy achieving your goals every day to entertain everyone you know.

Lastly, do not allow disrespect just because you’re friends. They will test the waters to see how much you can tolerate, then you allow them to, they’re just going to get more extreme with it. Identify disrespect in ‘jokes’ or casual conservation and call it out. These people are praying for your downfall.

That being said, just because it is not happening to you, don’t allow it. Once you establish yourself as only wanting respect, you’re going to get treated like it.

DEFINING YOUR INNER AND OUTER CIRCLE

Your inner circle consists of people whom you are close to, and have healthy and positive relations with them. These are the kind of people who you’d go to for emotional support or to celebrate great successes in your life.

Then, you have your outer circle. These can be people who you’re close to, but they’re not the closest. It consists of people who you talk to regularly, but there’s still that distance. Distance is not a bad thing at all in friendships, not everyone is meant to be your closest friend.

Now those two terms are established, I want you to visualise how you want those two circles to look. These can be people who you want to be friends with, wanting to cut anyone off or just people who you hope to meet one day.

Then define how you want to feel with those two circles, like a loving or caring circle, or a growth and learning circle. This is completely up to you, about how those circles feel and look like as it is for you.

I recommend writing your visualisations down and putting them somewhere you can see regularly. This is just to help us get into the energy of making meaningful friendships every day.

STANDARDS + CRITERIA IN FRIENDS

The heading is a little bit off-putting, I understand. However, it is essential to establish a set of standards once you start making friends. This is to make sure you’re making quality friendships, and not attaching to just anyone.

This is a bit of individual advice, you have to curate your standards by yourself. A personal example is that I’m Christian myself, I believe in God and I’m devoted to him.

So, in that case, I won’t allow other religions or non-religious people into my inner circle. While they can be in my outer circle, I would prefer having most of my friends believe in God and uphold his values.

Standards and criteria in friends can either be a must quality (they must have this quality) or a preferred quality (I prefer if they did, don’t mind if they don’t). You decide which qualities are which, and if they apply to your inner or outer circle.

Can’t say much, but to help you, I advise looking into yourself internally and once again, visualising what those friendships look like daily. To help, I’ve gathered a few journaling prompts!

What do you think are the responsibilities of friendship?

What is the nicest thing a friend could ever do for you?

What do you think friendship is?

How do you expect the aftermath to be after an argument with a friend?

How can someone become a part of your inner circle?

What behaviour makes you want to cut someone off?

Who were your favourite friends in the past? What did they do to become your favourite?

How would you like to be shown appreciation daily?

Do you like banter or prefer showering each other with compliments?

Then, extract from your responses to these prompts, some characteristics or traits that you look for in friendships.

BECOMING SOCIALLY ELOQUENT The first tip i’m going to give to you is to read. Not just in your head, but out loud reading. Read, and see if you’re going too fast or too slow, you’re pronouncing words clearly and know when to pause. Bonus points if you record yourself reading, then rewatch it to see your progress.

Search up any words you don’t know and how to pronounce them, and to test yourself, think of a way to use those words in an everyday sentence.

While this helps to expand your vocabulary as well, really keep in mind the setting of the conservation. If you’re at a science and math invention fair, more advanced language is suited. However, you wouldn’t use that same way of speaking casually at a party.

The second tip is to get rid of all filler words in your vocabulary.

Unnecessary when speaking and it can make you an unengaging conservationist. Just take a pause when thinking, and if you forget what you were talking about, tell your listener or just change the topic. Sometimes, these words are needed when speaking, but not all the time.

The third tip is just to do everything slower, while speaking. Move your hands slower, don’t dart your eyes around and take deep breaths before speaking. If not, you seem anxious and jittery, in which your words will not be clear.

The fourth tip is to pay attention to the listener. Make eye contact with them and ask questions about them too. This makes it a lot more engaging and therefore, easier for the listener to listen.

My fifth tip, and the most important, is to practice speaking. Whether it is in front of a mirror or with a partner. Use notes as reminders while practising to help you remember what to do. There are even videos on YouTube where you can pretend you’re having a conversation with someone, or you could just make your own.

However, practice yourself to speak without preparation. Like for example, you strike up a conservation with your classmate and apply the things you’ve learnt.

Bear in mind, that the whole point of becoming socially eloquent isn’t to make people listen to you, but to make it easier for people to listen to you.

MAKING FRIENDS + KEEPING THEM

Now everything else is out of the way, let’s talk about what you probably came here for. How to make friends and keep them. Better said than done.

The settings where you meet someone are important. It allows you to easily connect with people who are similar to you in any way, without actually having to state it. Here are a few places to meet people.

Church/any religious site (same beliefs)

Sports club (like that sport/exercise)

Any classes (people who like learning/that hobby)

School or university (you’ve got something to connect over)

These are just a few examples of where to meet people, however, you do not have to go somewhere else just to meet someone. Sometimes, I go to my nearest shopping mall or supermarket either after school or on the weekend and talk to any girls who look around my age, with whom I’ve gained so many friends.

While going to a particular setting helps to find people with similarities, it’s not the essential piece to meet people.

If you struggle to make friends just by striking up a conversation, just make yourself known to others first. Help them when needed, compliment them or greet them daily. They will most likely approach you first and talk to you first as you’ve deemed yourself approachable. Do not rely on this method though, not everyone is willing to approach you.

Once you find a potential friend and you’re talking to them, make sure it’s an engaging conversation. First, ask open-ended questions. Open-ended questions are ones that someone can expand on, basically not yes or no answers.

Do you own any cats? -> What’s your favourite cat breed?

Do you enjoy *activity*? -> What’s your favourite thing to do after school?

When can we hang out? -> Where’s your favourite place to hang out?

These are the kinds of questions that you get to know someone and are engaging. Remember, do not be overbearing with questions, it can come off as kinda odd.

Secondly, find any similarities and talk about them. For example, a sport, a favourite book, a hobby, religion. It is so easy for people to connect over their favourite things.

Thirdly, have open and friendly body language. Smile when they’re talking, maintain eye contact, avoid crossing your arms and legs, and lean in to show you’re listening. People love love, good listeners.

My fourth point which refers back to being good listeners, is remembering what they say. If they said, oh I love going to the beach, maybe suggest going to the beach together. Or, they said, I hate studying, then the next time they have a test, help them study.

Lastly, avoid small talk. It becomes awkward and the answers are always the same. If you must, ask them about things that happened in their life. Like, how’s that boy you’re talking to or did you do well on that test?

Most people also hate small talk. So, if every single conservation is just small talk, they would not want to talk to you.

These little things that you remember can make people like you and therefore, want to be your friend. I remember stuff about people by just writing it down and occasionally referring back to it.

Now, let’s say you’ve got your friend now. However, you don’t have a way of talking to them every day. They don’t live close by nor do they attend your school/uni/any place. So, how do we keep them?

Easy, invest in those friendships. Talk to them via messages or phone, schedule days to hang out, check up on them to make sure they’re doing well, be honest with them, remember important dates of their lives etc.

Keeping friends is just about being a good friend to them. Just think about how you would like to get treated by your friends and treat them like that. Even if they don’t reciprocate, putting out those positive actions, will come back to you one day.

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theambitiouswoman · 2 months

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💗 A Healthy Relationship Should:

Boost your confidence

Encourage you to achieve your goals

Elevate your happiness

Bring you peace

Provide stability & security

Cultivate experiences

Nurture emotional and physical intimacy

Inspire you to take care of yourself

Enhance your life

💗 A Healthy Relationship Should Not:

Undermine your self esteem

Hinder your independence

Limit your growth

Create stress

Promote jealousy

Neglect your needs

Isolate you

Manipulate or guilt you

Be overly dependent

Ignore boundaries

#relationshipgoals #relationship goals #healthy relationship #toxic relationship #sex and relationships #healthy relationships #relationship advice #relationships #high value dating #dating tips #dating advice #self help #love quote tumblr #toxic love #love yourself first #love language #love quotes

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soulinkpoetry · 8 months

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Don’t let boredom sneak in. Keep making space for fun and play in your relationship. The kid in you looks for a playmate.

When couples play together, they stay together.

#play #fun #activities #together #couples #healthy relationships #soulinkpoetry #poetry #thoughts #she writes #feelings #poets on tumblr

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adviceformefromme · 19 days

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Ladies, you have to get real serious about protecting your energy when it comes to these men. Not in the sense that men are to be feared, no. In a way that you know your value, you know that giving yourself away to a man mentally, physically or emotionally comes at a price.

A rose has thorns for a reason. Nature teaches us that precious beauty is to be protected. So why are you any different? Allowing men, who are not even your man to move in and make a home in your mind? Those little likes he sends you, and elusive questions, lead you to believe he is interested… but its’ just a little carrot dangle and you fall for the bait every time. WAKE UP. New rules. Stop allowing space for these men in your life. I promise you, blocking, deleting, and ignoring these breadcrumbs will save you a lot of energy. Energy that’s for you, for your dreams, your passions. Letting go of the fantasy is also necessary. Often the pain you feel, is because you expected it to go a certain way. You’re disappointed your fantasy didn’t come true, and this is the true hurt. Learn to let go of imagining when it comes to men.

And lastly, your energy, is worthy of protection. It’s worthy of showing him no, goodbye, sorry, ciao. Let this be a new chapter in showing up for yourself, of keeping your energy clear from entertaining men that offer the least but take up the most amount of room in your mind. Protect your energy.

#manifestyourreality #levelupjourney #levelup #manifesting #lawofattraction #growthmindset #levelup confidence lawofattraction powerofthemind #manifestingmindset #manifest #hypergamy #datingadivce #dating #healthy relationships #relationship #dating advice

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