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ellaenchanting · 1 year

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50 Days of Fetishes Day 46: No- Win conditions.

A lot of my fetishes are pretty switchy but this is something I only like when topping. Some of my best dominant feelings come from putting someone in "no win" conditions- psychological predicament bondage.

A partner reminded me of this earlier today when they mentioned a scene we did. They helplessly fell into trance anytime they were more than 3 feet from me. ("Psychic" leashes=super great.) I had them follow me, made them kneel, then commanded them to follow me again- while practically sprinting away. When, I woke them back up from their inevitable trance, I had them apologize profusely for "failing" to keep up, making sure they FELT really, really sorry in the moment.

The apologizing was the best part- the mindfuck of having someone apologize and FEEL deeply apologetic in the moment about something they had no real control over. I wouldn't do this with everyone- it takes the right partner- but this play is great, especially mixed in randomly with giving difficult but do-able commands.

The best versions of this- and I haven't done as many of these as I'd like- look like "forces" in stage magic. Forces are stage magic tricks where it seems like audience members have multiple options but in reality there's only one real choice. (Good article here- https://discovermagazine.com/mind/use-the-force-how-magicians-can-control-your-decisions…) Setting up a good, subtle force in play is something I aspire to- I feel generally way too obvious about my no win conditions when I have them.

Having the no-win be obvious is it's own fun too, though- as well as forcing an apology when someone knows you're being deeply unfair just because you can. Similar to this, I also love making someone beg for something-and then making them beg for the opposite thing over the course of the scene. The nuances of how this can feel are so varied- genuinely convincing someone they want the opposite thing over the course of a scene, having someone know they want the opposite thing but they're compelled to beg for what YOU want anyway because being obedient feels more important, giving someone the "passenger in their body" feeling of wanting to beg for one thing while their hypnotized mouth begs for the opposite, etc. I'm not particularly sadistic as a dom but this kind of emotional play is DELICIOUS.

Since I'm writing about this on my public blog, I do want to say this kind of kink can get into heavy gaslighting and abuse dynamics (apologizing about something you have no control over is incredibly common in abusive relationships) so I'd encourage people to know themselves, know their partner, and be very thoughtful about safety/risk here w/this play.

With that out of the way- I'd love to hear stories! Anyone have any related media to rec or stories to share?

#50 days of fetishes #teal dear #mindfucks #general unfairness #but- hot somehow #apologizing #some begging too #that needs to be an entry

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shebadfuckk · 1 month

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#apologizing #how to apologize

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whumperofworlds · 1 year

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What about Whumpees who are over apologizers?

They apologize whenever they feel they did something wrong because of what they've gone through.

They bumped into a teammate? Sorry.

They feel they messed up a cooking recipe? Sorry.

They feel they fucked up the mission? Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sor--

BONUS: Caretaker comforts them, telling Whumpee that they don't have to apologize for everything.

#whump #my whump stuff #apologizing #over apologizing #whumpee #comfort #hurt/comfort #caretaker #implied abuse

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c-ptsdrecovery · 2 years

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Doing something in the column on the left doesn’t mean you’re a bad person! It just means you need to make it right by apologizing.

#your rights #apologizing

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ivyprism · 19 days

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I Was Wrong (Verbena Story)

Trigger Warnings: Includes severe manipulation, partner betrayal, Deity betrayal, heavy self-blame, heavy manipulation, mentions of deities, mentions of death, mentions of blood, self-loathing mentioned as well, abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, and mentions of cursing.

This may be a bit heavy for some readers.

If I got something wrong with this story let me know!

There is a POV from first to third after a while. Just a warning!

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"When I first met them, they were extremely loving, kind, and sweet. Everyone wanted us to marry, they were friends with Birch and Sylvia, and it would bring me closer to her, to Sylvia, the Goddess I was lucky to know. Aeyar was perfect. That's what everyone thought, and everyone knew. They promised me everything, promised they'd ascend to godhood and would give me everything I wanted. They promised and swore on their lives to give me anything I desired…

They lied and I was wrong.

They became a deity, but they killed Sylvia in the process. I felt brokenhearted, betrayed, and outraged… I should have left, but they said that they had a cause and that they would still offer me everything I desired. I was selfish; I remained dedicated and faithful. I believed they loved me, that they would understand what I wanted, and that I loved them. I couldn't accept they changed, but I loved them. They were gentle, they were kind, they were sweet...They were all I needed and desired. I expected them to keep their word and complete Sylvia's job.

I was wrong.

They disregarded their responsibilities, were monstrous, and ignored the prayers, tears, and pleas. But I continued to stay. I believed that if I worked hard enough, I would be able to save both them and the world.

I was wrong.

They used their honeyed words to deceive and manipulate me… But I was selfish. I didn't want to let them go. I loved them... Did I love them? Looking back, I'm not too sure. Their words, their flattery, they had me ensnared. I was blind, I was foolish, I was selfish... I believed that they loved me. They wouldn't try as hard to keep me loyal if they didn't...

...I was wrong.

I was afraid; I wanted them to stay and love me. They did not appear to care. When they'd had enough of my prayers, they pushed me away. I pleaded on my knees.

"I was incorrect, and it was my fault; I'm sorry. Please don't leave. I'll make offerings. Please stay."

They stayed. I wanted to believe it. That they loved me... I thought I failed them somehow... I was so stupid. I didn't see the red flags, I was blind. Their words were no longer as sweet, their warmth had turned as frigid as the stone I prayed on, and their eyes were no longer loving, but filled with scorn and indifferent emotion. I thought if I prayed harder, the Aeyar I loved would return…

I was wrong and I paid for it.

They got sick of me, tired of my prayers, and despised me. They made it clear how much they disliked me. They didn't care if I cried or what happened to me; my Aeyar had left. They were replaced with something other. The False Deity of Life, the most despised Deity… I hated them as well. My love for them became hatred. It devoured my entire being. I told them how much I loathed them and how betrayed I felt. I prayed they'd suffer and that they'd be punished for what they've done.

"I hate you!" "You monster. You do not merit the title of "Deity of Life". You aren't the actual one! You're a monster, a False Deity. That is exactly who you are!" "You're a traitor! A horrible person! I hope you are punished for what you've done. No, I pray it will happen."

I was punished for my transgressions. I was wrong. I was the wrong one. I was selfish, horrible, and a terrible person. They transformed me into something else. Something else, something no one, let alone a Deity, would desire. Something, they said, that reflected the state of my SOUL. I could not bear to look in the mirror, they were right. This was me. This is what my SOUL said I was...

A monster, a creature unworthy of love, I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong!

I... don't remember how long I cried for. How many days, how many weeks... All I know is I cried and I couldn't stop crying. I was a monster. I was alone, I was afraid, I had no one. No one could love a monster like me, no one. All I could think of, during that time was...

"I'm sorry. I was wrong." "Come back, I'm sorry." "I was wrong, please. Please forgive me."

I didn't have time to mourn because heroes began pursuing me like a common creature. I… I can't recall how many wounds I received, how many times I died, or anything… My memory does fail me from time to time. All I know is that it hurt. It would hurt every time.

I knew at some point, they had died but still, my prayers remained unanswered, unseen, unfelt... I gave up on it a long time ago.

Eventually, I met Benoit and Elpis, people like me. People cursed, people forsaken... We grew close, I suppose you could say we're friends... But I don't try and get my hopes up. I keep a distance.

I don't want to be wrong again. I can't be wrong. It'll hurt too much if I'm wrong again.

I... Eventually found solace in them... I don't know how my story will end, who I will meet... But thank you... Little human, for listening to my story. At least for a little while."

Verbena murmured as she cautiously dropped her head to Frisk, who sniffed and hugged her snout. She closed her eyes. Tears trickled down her cheeks.

She finally had someone to cry with, at least for a little time.

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zee-rambles · 1 year

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———

What’s this? Leo? Smiling? 😈

(Btw, school has started again, so updates may slow down for a bit. Heh. It’s only been one week and I’m already stressed…)

First I Prev I Next

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randomreasonstolive · 1 year

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Reason to Live #8390

Being able to see someone apologizing for what they did wrong. – Guest Submission

(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)

#sad #help #hope #reason to live #depressed #depression #empty #alone #mental illness #anxiety #trauma #guest submission #mental health #apologies #apologizing #care #concern #listening #communication

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shitchannel4you · 17 days

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🙁I:M SORRY EVERYBODY🙁

I am writing to offer my sincere apologies to both Israelis and Palestinians who may have been offended by my recent idea. It was never my intention to profit from the ongoing conflict or to trivialize the suffering experienced by either side.My idea was to promote unity between Israelis and Palestinians outside of their respective countries, as well as to generate some income from the concept, similar to my other products available on my Gumroad store. Regrettably, it seems that my approach has caused misunderstanding and hurt feelings.I want to make it clear that I deeply regret any distress my actions may have caused. My aim was never to capitalize on tragedy or to disrespect the gravity of the situation. I understand now that my execution was misguided, and I take full responsibility for any offense caused.I hope that this apology can serve as a step towards reconciliation and understanding. I am committed to learning from this experience and being more mindful of the sensitivities surrounding such delicate matters in the future.Once again, I apologize for any pain or discomfort I may have caused, and I thank you for your understanding.

I hope for real freedom and peace between both nations.

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drarrily-we-row-along · 1 year

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Making It Work (Chapter Four)

Even though Harry knew that he needed to apologize, he found himself incapable of doing so. Every time he looked at the other man, the words got swallowed by the sheer irritation he felt at being put in this situation in the first place.

It wasn't fair. And frankly, Harry had a hard time with anything that smacked of unfairness at this point, his mind healer would certainly tell him that was a trauma response.

Still, as the next three days wore on and they continued to either not talk at all or bicker with each other, as they came to verbal blows, if not physical yet, Harry knew something had to give. This wasn't sustainable.

So, Harry set his alarm early the next morning and rolled out of bed, intent on apologizing for being an arse, on owning his part in their disagreements. He trudged into the kitchen, shoving his glasses up into his hair so he could rub his eyes as he went.

He started by making coffee, hoping that Malfoy drank coffee in the morning, too. Then he pulled out eggs and bacon, grabbed chives, onions, and mushrooms, noting sadly that there weren’t any peppers. As the vegetables started chopping themselves and the beater scrambled the eggs, he started frying up the bacon. While the bacon sizzled away, filling the house with the delightful, comforting smell, he combined the veggies and eggs and set about making omelets.

It was only another ten minutes before he’d plated omelets, bacon, toast, and orange slices. Breakfast didn’t look half bad, if he said so himself. He set their plates out on the table, along with their coffee and put everything under a stasis charm to keep it warm.

Just as he was headed to knock on Malfoy’s door, motion from the deck caught his eye. He glanced over toward the windows to see that Malfoy was out on the deck, blonde hair (tied up in a loose topknot that Harry refused to admit was sexy as hell) glinting in the sun, bare chest glistening with sweat, and sweatpants slung low on his sharp hip bones as he held his body in a perfect warrior pose.

He was undeniably beautiful from a purely aesthetical standpoint. Too bad his personality was so off putting.

As Harry watched, Malfoy arched his back and moved into a reverse warrior pose and Harry could see the definition of his tightly toned muscles in his lean stomach. He held the position for far longer than Harry could imagine that he himself would have been able to, before Malfoy's body effortlessly transitioned into a side angle, his arm reaching up high.

From there he slowly, gracefully flowed through to a flawless triangle pose, then a half moon pose making it look like it was the most natural thing in the world to hold yourself on one leg, with your other leg at a ninety degree angle to your body.

Harry held his breath as Malfoy moved into downward dog, pressing his heels flat to the ground, his (shapely) arse in the air. He couldn’t help the way his mind wandered as he watched Malfoy hold his body in that pose for long moments.

Then he eased out of it and into chaturanga, holding his body in a perfectly straight line, the muscles in his biceps bulging as he kept his arms tight to his body. His hips slowly lowered to the floor and Malfoy pressed his torso up off the ground, his neck elongating into a gorgeous cobra pose and Harry watched as a bead of sweat rolled down his neck, along his collarbones, and into the divot at the base of his throat.

After a long moment held in that position, Malfoy rolled his back up and folded himself back onto his knees as his arms stretched out on the mat in front of him and he was in the perfect child’s pose.

Eventually, Malfoy gracefully rose from his mat and before Harry could even think to stop looking, Malfoy turned to come inside. He froze when he caught sight of Harry through the glass door.

“Sorry,” Harry managed to splutter, “Breakfast is... I should have... I-”

Malfoy raised an eyebrow, “Enjoying the view, Potter?” he asked as he stepped through the door and into the living room.

“Err,” Harry said.

“Did you make coffee?” Malfoy asked with a sniff as he walked toward the kitchen and filled a glass of water from the tap.

“Yes,” Harry said, glad that he could say something that didn’t make him sound like an idiot.

“Enough for two?” Malfoy asked before taking a long draw of his water.

Harry watched him swallow before managing to get himself out of his stupor, “Yes. I also made toast and omelets if you’re interested.”

Malfoy raised an eyebrow at him, “Well that’s unexpected.”

Harry followed him to the table and sat down in the seat he’d taken that first night when Malfoy had held out an olive branch that Harry had squashed. “Yeah,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Listen, Malfoy,” he started, “I wanted to say sorry-”

“There’s no need,” Malfoy said shortly as he bit into the omelet. “Thank you for breakfast but honestly, there’s no need for you to apologize. I knew this partnership would be hard for you.” He looked up, then dipped his head as he amended, “For both of us, really. There is a lot of history between us and I know I will need to earn your trust as you need to earn mine.”

“Still,” Harry said. “Those things I said, well thought,” he corrected since he’d never said them outloud. “It wasn’t fair of me. I’m sure the past five years since the war have been complete hell for you. And I’m sorry.”

Malfoy nodded once, “Apology accepted.” He set his fork and knife down as he looked at Harry, “I don’t expect us to be best friends or anything, Potter, but I do think we might be able to work together.”

Harry shrugged, “Maybe,” he said. Then he cleared his throat and changed the topic, “So, you’re pretty good at yoga.”

Malfoy snorted, “Enjoyed that, did you?” Harry skin heated but before he could say anything stupid Malfoy continued, “It’s very centering for me.”

“Where did you learn?” Harry asked around a bite of his omelet.

“Oh, I learned when I was a boy,” he said with a shrug. “When I was young, before Hogwarts,” he added, “I had a hard time controlling my magic. I was always vanishing things or setting things on fire,” he waved a hand, “so my parents hired a tutor to teach me to do yoga. I worked with the same man when I was home on breaks throughout my years at Hogwarts.”

“Wow,” Harry said, “That is a lot of dedication.”

Malfoy shrugged, “There are all sorts of strange things you’re taught when you’re a pureblood in lines like the one I came from.”

Harry tried not to bristle at the casual way Malfoy said it, “Like what?” he asked because maybe if he understood better he wouldn’t hate it so much.

“Well,” Malfoy said carefully, “A lot of things come with privilege. I also learned to speak Latin, French, and Greek fluently, along with a handful of others well enough to be able to get by. I took piano lessons until I was fourteen. I was taught to paint as a child, taught classical literature, basic alchemy, things like that.” He tilted his head at Harry, “You went to a muggle school as a child, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” Harry replied. “And we certainly weren’t taught things like that.”

Malfoy laughed, “I imagine muggle private schools are similar, though. Or wealthy families who bring tutors into their homes.”

Harry nodded, “I suppose. Dudley went to private schools, I’m not sure what he learned, really, but he was never the brightest bulb in the box.”

“Who’s Dudley?” Malfoy asked, wrinkling his nose and sounding out the name as though it were a disease of some sort.

“Cousin,” Harry said. “He was a few months older than me.”

“Why did Dudley go to a different school than you?” Malfoy asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, he didn’t talk about his childhood before Hogwarts. Still. If he was going to try to make this work a little bit of trust between the two of them was certainly required. “Because he was their son,” he said lamely, “and I was just a burden dumped on them.”

Malfoy stared at him calculatingly for a moment then opened his mouth but before he could speak, one of the tempus charms Malfoy had set alerted him. “Salazar,” he muttered. He flicked his wrist to silence it and turned to look at Harry again. “I have to get ready or I’ll be late to work, but I’d like to...” he trailed off uncertainly. “That is to say, if you’d want to...” he swallowed. “I would like to hear more about your childhood later, if you want.”

“Yeah, alright,” Harry said, even though he had no idea why. If you’d asked him yesterday there is no one he would rather talk to less about his childhood than Malfoy. But that was yesterday.

Malfoy’s lips quirked in the corner and he nodded once before sending his plate and silverware to the sink with a flick of the wrist and picking up his coffee to take with him to get ready. “Thank you for breakfast.”

Harry shrugged carelessly, “it was the least I could do after-“

“I already said you don’t have to apologize,” he interrupted.

“I was going to say after the dinner you made the other night,” Harry replied.

“Oh. Alright then,” he opened his mouth as though he might say more but then closed it again as he toward his room.

“Oh, Malfoy?” Harry called.

“Mmhmm?” He hummed through a sip of coffee as he turned to look at Harry.

“Maybe you could tell me a little bit about what it was like growing up with magic?”

“Could do,” Malfoy replied. “If you’d like.”

“I would, I think,” Harry said.

“Alright. Tonight, then.”

“Yeah,” Harry said as Malfoy turned and started toward his room once more. “Tonight," he repeated, a little uncertainly.

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Chapter Three | Chapter Five

Read Making It Work on AO3 (where subscribing to updates is easier)

#drarry #making it work fic #personal growth is hard #enemies to friends to lovers #auror partners #auror harry #auror draco #apologizing #draco does yoga #yes Harry thinks it's sexy

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