Hi plantdadcas! I hope you’re doing ok with the whole meadow thing. It’s a lot for everyone, and since you’re probably a plant person (from your name), you probably have a lot more feelings than non-plant people. Stay happy and healthy, bestie!! ☘️🌿🍃🌱🌼🍄🌾 (these are all meadow plants, I think. Plus, mushrooms since mushrooms)
omg thank you for sending me good vibes over this. I am still not ok and very much in my feelings <3
4 notes · View notes
Hm... (Musing to Myself)
Yeah, maybe it’s just me. The more I look at ‘em, the more similar they look to what I’ve been doing that I otherwise liked, so I guess I’m just in one of those “hate everything I’m doing even though just yesterday I would have been fine with it” kinda phases.
But usually I have some artistic growth after I get over it, so maybe I’ll actually see some real improvement soon.
New Nike kicks from my mommy. I’ve been going to my parents house an hour away to help clean out their house. My mom surprised my sister and I with a girls shopping trip.
I cried in the shoe store. Because I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I didn’t need new shoes. I didn’t want to waste her money. And I just had so much anxiety that I was shopping instead of being productive cleaning my parents house. I actually refused to get anything. Pouted and just circled around the store. But my mother would not leave until I picked something out. I actually could use another pair of sneakers since I workout so much and wear them out quickly. And I do really like this. She also bought me Adidas ankle socks and Nike crew socks because she knows I love socks and if I’m being honest I wear through those quickly too.
So after crying in the shoe store. I accepted the gifts. And honestly I love them. I didn’t want to find anything. I didn’t want to love them. I didn’t want to accept them. Because I don’t deserve them. I still don’t feel like I deserve them. But I do love them and am grateful.
9 notes · View notes
Rating: General fic, harsh language
Characters: Armin, Reiner, Annie, Connie, Jean
Summary: The world will know them as the Alliance - the soldiers at odds who stopped the Rumbling. But after the dust has settled...can the team even consider themselves colleagues?
A/N: This will be a fic of personal log entries from each member of the Alliance. Any pairings mentioned are for exploration purposes, not explicit romance. Readers can interpret their relationships to be platonic or romantic.
I have many complaints about 139 and my first is the lack of character interactions and addressing past issues. This is one way I thought I could get out my frustration.
10 notes · View notes
Well I woke up... again. Did have some spooky dreams. Was watching Criminal Minds last night, there was an episode with a serial rapist. The interviews with the victims stuck with me into sleep. Listening to them talk and how if affected them and whatnot.
I am never going to be able to forgive myself for whatever happened that night. I hope for her the wound heals and Scars over. For me it is going to stay open, I just know it. It's going to fester and continue to hurt, probably forever. I know it's not going to heal because It's the reason I lost her. There is nothing I can do or say to make it better, because there is nothing I can do or say to change her mind.
After she told me that she was switching bedrooms and we had talked, all I had go through my head yesterday were memories, of her, of us. So many good memories so many fun times. All the things WE did for EACH OTHER. And I got sad, because none of that matters. One mistake, one horrible mistake, and all of that good is just gone. And I feel horrible, and sick, and full of self loathing.
I waited my entire life for her, she was the other part of me that I didn't know was missing. And know it's gone, and I am trying so hard to live without it. But it is so hard, hard to know that one mistake cost me....well it cost me a lot.
I am pretty sure I would wait the rest of my life as well. Whether that is "fair" to me or not. But I'd be waiting for nothing, because,well, I've already been replaced for one and second she's just never going to change her mind.
So those are the things I slept with and woke up to today. I am finally going to get out of bed now. But I will probably be numb all day.
I don't neccessarily think bsmits should be canon- like I don't trust the writers with that at this point lol. But people saying smits 'deserves better' really irk me- like he clearly doesn't WANT anyone else. If the series ends with him going 'eh I think I'd rather go for someone else' that's great but what he DESERVES (in my personal opinion) is the love of the person he wants to love him, even if said person is an old gremlin man.
He gets to decide for himself what he wants, you know. But I think that's something too complex to broadcast on 'longest running show ever' on Fox, which despite being a cartoon distanced far from what it used to be people expect to Do The Right Thing- and maybe it ought to, I don't know.
I'd rather just play around with it myself and with you guys 🤷 it's more interesting and fun to me than deciding by some arbitrary standard who'd be the most wholesome match, anyway.
3 notes · View notes