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gatriiText

oh to be covered in blood that is not mine, walking around in a run down apartment with papers scattered around the floor as I hum a calm tune, the only light coming from the moon through the curtains and the dim, buzzing yellow light from the kitchen

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i think there is something indescribably beautiful about the fact that art, in all its forms, lasts longer than we do. you will never read all the books or hear all the songs, watch all the movies or see all the paintings, but there is comfort in knowing that there is always something more out there. even if you’ll never get to experience it.

the world is infinite, even if we are not. never think that you should stop searching because “there’s nothing to discover anyway”. make the most of your limited time in this wonderful, cruel world, because one day you’ll be gone. and when you leave, you shouldn’t regret what you didn’t experience. instead, be grateful for the things you did experience. the books you read, the paintings you looked at, the movies you saw- all of them and more added a little piece in the complicated puzzle that is you.

never regret. instead, remember. and love (love even what you didn’t get to experience).

you can wonder about who you could’ve been, but remember to appreciate who you became, too.

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i am feeling particularly pretentious tonight. the sun is coming up again and i haven’t slept. i don’t know what to say about that. i don’t know why i keep allowing this to happen. i’m craving a million things now, things that i know deep down will never satiate my loneliness but i dare to dream. im craving the wine at the end of a bottle, the bitter taste of vodka on halloween, cigarette smoke chasing memories in the night air. i’m craving bittersweet goodbyes and hushed hello’s and that strange, longing feeling you get for a stranger in the crowd. i’m craving paris and ireland and italy and all the places i’ve never known and, perhaps, never will. i’m craving drunken secrets told over damp pillowcases in the silence of night. i’m craving a kiss i’ve never known, a love i’ll never feel, hands on my body that have never been there. i’m craving all the words i’ll never understand, the meaningless mutterings of people passing on the street, the endless skyline i’ll never get enough of. and most of all, i’m craving myself. i think i lost her a while ago and i miss her. i wonder if she’ll be back? and now i’m clicking through peoples meaningless and never ending snapchat stories as the sun only gets brighter and i’m thinking: is this all there is?

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TV shows I think fit into the DA aesthetic

- Ares

- Sherlock (BBC)

- Brideshead Revisited

- Penny Dreadful

- Hemlock Grove

- Elite

- A Series of Unfortunate Events

- Hannibal

- The Order

- Peaky Blinders

- Clique

- (slightly) Downtown Abbey

- How To Get Away With Murder

- The Alienist

- Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries

- Baby

- Babylon Berlin

- The ABC Murders

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