Military scientists create pizza that lasts for three years
(Photo: Steven Senne / AP)
It's not exactly fresh. But this pizza will probably be a big hit with soldiers in the U.S. military.
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Those who follow me know it’s been non-stop bad shit since I got COVID back in mid-September, followed by my dad’s brutal illness and death nearly two weeks ago. This is the first legit weekend where I can actually relax (and maybe grieve? I dunno, I should probably let that happen.)
So today, I got up at noon. Poured coffee, set aside some comics, played some games, ordered a pizza, and am now watching a 1985 WWF broadcast while drinkin’ root beer. This is as far as I go today.
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what is thd Boston pizzapizza burger?? Omg
Ah yes. Behold, the unholy monstrosity known as The Pizzaburger
It was created by a chef working for Canadian multinational restaurant chain Boston Pizza sometime in 2013-ish(?). There was a whole ad campaign around it for a few years, and every once in a while they put out another one saying "it's back™" as though it had ever stopped haunting me in my dreams.
It's exactly what it says on the tin: a half-pound prime rib beef burger patty, wrapped in a pepperoni pizza, stuffed with mozzarella cheese, bacon, and and their signature pizza sauce (plus a single leaf of lettuce, a tomato slice, and a pickle skewered on top, bc you gotta have your vegetables uwu). [to my horror, I just now discovered that there also exists a theoretical "five cheese pizzaburger" though I've never seen it on the menus]
I've eaten this big bastard a total of 3 times in my life during extreme emotional crises, and every time it was as delicious as it was an affront against god. I don't even want to know how many calories were in this thing, let alone 3 of them. Enough to power a small town for a year, possibly.
Last time I went to a Boston Pizza restaurant was only a few months pre-pandemic and they're still serving these savoury abominations to this day, as far as I am currently aware.
There you go. The Boston Pizza Pizzaburger!
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