you’re allowed to be upset and hurt and angry. you’re allowed to know you deserved better. you’re allowed to mourn what you could have had. part of healing is allowing yourself to feel those “negative” emotions and accepting them.
Do not ever prioritise anything over your (mental) health. Not school. Not grades. Not chores. Not family. Not friends. I know it is easy to form the habit of ignoring how miserable you actually feel when you have so many responsibilities that need your attention more (at least that is what you think). But you owe it to yourself. You owe it to yourself to stop and listen. To feel what is really going on. To take time to heal what is really going on. Do not ignore the state of your body and mind, for it will only come back worse to the point that you will break. You need to realise that it is not what you deserve. Do not let the world tell you that you are supposed to feel this way all the time. You are not supposed to feel sick and tired, exhausted and empty, lonely and down. You are supposed to feel alive. So please make sure to prioritise yourself before making a choice to prioritise something or someone else.
I hope you find a best friend who chooses to love the parts of you where you are most misunderstood so your wounds can blossom into spring. I hope you find a best friend who encourages you to be your fullest and most authentic self and admires the way you see existence in a unique and weird way. I hope you find a best friend who will always be by your side when you’re tormented by your depression and demons. I hope you find a best friend who truly wishes for your betterment and healing. I hope you find a best friend who will grow strong with you despite everything.
Its never too late to fall in love with life. Its never too late to fall in love with yourself. Everyone falls in love at their own speed, and everyone's journey looks different. Even if it may take longer than you had expected, believe in yourself and have faith. Your time will come soon.
You will find your place in this world, even if it might take a while. Even if it might feel like a journey that takes too long. Even if you feel like you don't belong and never will, you will find your place.