Let me tell you something:
You abuser needs you more than you need them.
They are desperate to keep you around.
You do not need them to be happy, healthy, or worthy.
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Something I get asked a lot is how to be who you were before trauma, and in all honesty, my answer is always “you don’t.” It’s okay to have changed.
This is a short piece on that.
Please keep in mind this article is my own personal opinion based on my own experiences and may not necessarily be reflective of everyone’s situation.
(This article links to my website which has no pop ups and you don’t need to sign up for to read posts. It’s as simple and safe as possible! Please consider hearting the article on the webpage?)
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Jessie: So, what was your childhood like?
James: Oh, you mean my tragic backstory that you must be at least level 3 friendship to unlock?
Meowth: ... What level are we at?
James: 10. So it all started-
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PTSD culture is hating the holidays.
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I am a crime scene
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Here I go! One of my favorite tropes is when a whumpee who was seriously hurt and is still recovering has nightmares. But not just any nightmare, like basically reliving the trauma they experienced because they still hurt from the previous injuries. It's so good when they dream that maybe they never escaped their predicament, or they were found/thrust into it again. Their brain supplies the trauma as they experience what hurt them all over again in sleep. I particularly love it if they jerk awake with a pained gasp and someone is there to comfort them and bring them back to reality. Or if a caretaker is there trying to gently bring them out of the dream without the whumpee hurting themselves more. I just love the realization for the caretaker that whatever happened to the whumpee affects them so much, especially if the whumpee is stoic.
Well, you've certainly won me over!
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The kids who went to school everyday with dirty hair.
The kids who wents to school with clothes from their OLD siblings that was always out if style.
Shout out to the kids who survived in piles of filth, never taught to care about cleaning, personal health, or ‘appearences’. Never knowing anything different.
THIS is for the kids who went to school smelling like
HUMAN FECES, WEARING CLOTHES THAT DID NOT FIT, BEING COMPLETED N E G L E C T E D BY THEIR CARE GIVERS.
These are the kids you never become friends with. These are the kids in school who you found ‘gross’. There were the kids screaming for HELP and everyone igonored.
I see you kids. And I LOVE YOU. You WILL survive!
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A comic about the spectrum of responses to stress - we talk alot about the more extreme ends of this and trauma, but the more subtle and every day responses can be harder to spot. if we can understand our own and other’s responses better, problems Are easier to confront and blaming is less likely to happen :) hope it’s helpful!!
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PTSD culture is no matter how much easier life may get, you still flinch when you hear the door open
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you took everything we could have been
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Healing is fucking hard. And you’re allowed to struggle, fall back or even take a break from it. None of that makes you weak.
You’ll make it.
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Abusers will try to control information. They will discourage you from talking about the abuse. They will tell you that things are not others' business. They will try to convince you that the abuse is normal and that you are overreacting.
This is not true.
You are allowed to talk about the abuse. You are allowed to get help. You do not deserve to be abused.
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