reddavixy

[reddavixy]

𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗'𝚝 𝚐𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚎𝚝. 𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎. 𝙳𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚝. 𝙸𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎. 𝙸 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞.

- R.

#Red Says #random thoughts in the middle of the night

[reddavixy]

I don’t wanna be normal. I wanna write books about murder and being a femme fatale

#i should write something like this sometimes #femme fatale #basic instinct changed my brain chemistry

[reddavixy]

Dear universe, which kind of story should i write:

a. a twinflame story about him and me 🎁

b. a complex female character story 👻

c. scripting manifestation (delulu ver.) 😜

[reddavixy]

𝚒 𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎. 𝚒'𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙸 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎

#for my twinflame

[reddavixy]

I don’t wanna be normal. I wanna write books about murder and being a femme fatale

[reddavixy]

“She seemed as detached from herself as from everyone else.”

— Stephen Spender, on Virginia Woolf 

[reddavixy]

it’s so insane to me that most of the people you meet in life are just passing moments. you’ll know them for a brief period of time before they’re a stranger again and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it because that is just how it’s meant to be..

[reddavixy]

Kinda want to reward her for every little thing she does. Ate your food 3 times a day? I'm eating you out. Oh you're done with your daily assessments? I'm making out nastily with you. Chores? Already done? Aww how sweet come here let me seat you on my dick and tell you how I'm proud of you. Make her take pride in saying things she completed to you like damn 😩💗.

[reddavixy]

capricorn rising moodboard

[reddavixy]

Showing no sign is a sign that I'm asking for. That's enough.

[reddavixy]

𝚒 𝚊𝚖 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚢𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚙𝚙 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚘 𝚒 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚊 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚒 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚗, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚗𝚍𝚎 𝚙𝚒𝚌.

#txt post #evening shits #bullshits in the internet #my patience is being tested #rants #I'm putting myself through all of this to have something to talk about in my Tumblr b!tch

[reddavixy]

I need vitamine C ash

[reddavixy]

𝚊 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚞𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚑 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕

[reddavixy]

𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚍𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚘𝚗 28𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝙹𝚊𝚗𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢, 𝚒 𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚎𝚡𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚗'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚊𝚝, 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚠𝚎𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝙳–

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚖𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚜𝚑! 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔.

#txt post #it was hot #I swear my subconscious is super naughty #sex dreams #i feel like my dreams are simply premonition

[reddavixy]

𝙷𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚎, 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚣𝚢

[reddavixy]

𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚗 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎?

#lesson learned #this is why #txt post

[reddavixy]

I'm really uncomfortable with how heartbroken I feel and it's the first time in my life I've made the conscious decision not to go anywhere near alcohol while grieving. I woke up from a dream in which he was there and lovely and his voice was so sweet over the phone, I was in the grocery store picking things up for dinner, like I did in life so many times, I woke up and the weight of this all just dawned on me and it was like being punched in the chest or thrown off a cliff I can't explain this emptiness that is shaped like him within me and it's going to take me so long to fill it feels like. I don't remember what that space was for before. My first true love, even if he was so cold and mute and withdrawn when we needed each other the most or maybe when I felt I needed him, he was so beautiful to me, truthfully I imagined our children, I've loved no scent or presence or gaze like I loved his and now I don't know what life is going to be. I feel like I've lost a limb. And I had to block him because I know if I don't I'll sit around trying to make sense of why I'm being treated this way, why he betrayed me etc and I need to really stop and focus on healing. And allow him to live as he wants. Then I feel so guilty because I know how he thinks and what he's been through and after his anger fades away he might feel abandoned and I don't want him to feel that way even if that's what he did to me emotionally. I don't know, I don't think I will blog about this anymore because there is too much pain, tomorrow is his first birthday without his mom :( but I guess the new girl will help him through that. And also nothing can really be made sense of right now, I have to welcome this paradoxical feeling nonsense

#this says everything i feel at the moment