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rockpapercompass · 4 years
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the fact that im really REALLY good at sports but terrible with dancing.... it always makes me wonder why and now we have the reason why (after my diagnosis)
Reading that trouble with choreographed dance moves is symptom of Dyscalculia was one of the wildest things I have ever discovered about myself. Like, There was a legitimate REASON I could never learn the steps to my dances??? A reason that WASN’T just ‘I’m an uncoordinated bitch that doesn’t practice enough’?  
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rockpapercompass · 4 years
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Raise your hand if your learning disabilities or sensory issues were written off as “anger management issues” when you were a kid instead of a proper diagnosis
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rockpapercompass · 4 years
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rockpapercompass · 4 years
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about adhd
it concerns me that people really don’t know that adhd isn’t a personality type or behavioral problem.
adhd isn’t someone who’s personality is driven by fun and disorder.
adhd is someone who’s brain goes all over the place looking for dopamine, because it doesn’t make or register enough of it, and when it finds a source of dopamine, it hyperfixates on it. it’s about deregulation of attention as well as emotions.
it’s not a person who can’t behave. a person with adhd can look like a lot of things. misconceptions about what adhd looks like kept me from even looking for a diagnosis, and it also kept myself and others (professionals, even) from taking my suspicions seriously.
everyone’s encouraged to reblog, but if you don’t have adhd, keep your additions to the tags.
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rockpapercompass · 5 years
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"you're easily distracted omg! me too! but you know what would help? turning off my phone, being in library- you know. be in a productive place and get rid of that source of distraction!" are you... telling me.... to get rid of my brain?
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rockpapercompass · 5 years
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will i end the semester or will the semester end me??? stay tuned
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rockpapercompass · 5 years
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Happy ADHD awareness month!!!
Happy adhd awareness month.
Happy happy adhd awareness month!!
Happy Adhd awareness month.
Happy ADHD awareness month.
October is ADHD awareness month (spooooky!) and that means If you are an ADHDer This post is for you!! Yaaay you!!
ADHD is a widely and deeply misunderstood disorder by many But it systematically impacts every single area of your life and it touches so many more people than most think.
Symptoms start in childhood or adolescence and often exacerbate through young adulthood, continuing through the rest of the person's life. Yet so many neurotypical people push it aside, sideline it, and ignore the hell out of it, depriving these people of the validation and reassurance they deserve from having to live with this damn debilitating disorder every day for their entire lives. They say it's a childhood disorder that only affects grade schoolers, but in reality they're full of bullshit and they know nothing about ADHD. We know differently.
AND!!! Other people's lack of basic knowledge and society's lack of awareness regarding your disorder does not and will never invalidate your struggles. I hope this adhd awareness month you have a chance to step back and appreciate how far you've come and how much you've grown with your disorder.
Also I hope You know you are VALID and strong as hell and your struggles do not make you weak
I hope you have been able to find some sort of peace in your diagnosis. This is such a goddamn difficult, debilitating disorder to wrestle with every day and You have FULLY EARNED any and all peace youve found through struggling with it
No matter what your situation is, You are accepted and celebrated just as you are on this blog whether you have adhd or not (as long as you're not racist or sexist or ableist or a terf or pedophilic or lgbt-phobic or any of that of course) And Im sending all of my fellow adhders love and hugs because you are just Wonderful!!
As you push foward with your adhd you're kicking every day in the ass and Holy shit Go You!!
Happy October and Enjoy the remaining 25 days of Halloween and Stay safe!!!
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rockpapercompass · 5 years
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IN OTHER NEWS I LOST MY FIDGET TOY!!!!
THE ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE A GAME CONTROLLER BUT MINI WHAT THE FUCK here i am about to study and try to fidget quietly GUESS WE'RE NOT DOING THAT 
*aggressively tap pen and foot in my seat*
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rockpapercompass · 5 years
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me everytime i try to convince myself to do work and other responsibilities but its something that i dont wanna but i have to and my body cant move at all and i ended up doing other things
how do u tell the difference between executive dysfunction, procrastination, and laziness bc fuck idk how to
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rockpapercompass · 5 years
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when you've been telling your brain to do it but its something you really dont wanna do but you know its a must in order to pass and graduate so you keep telling and even beg to yourself to do the work but your brain just lag at the command and hnngggggg
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rockpapercompass · 5 years
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rockpapercompass · 5 years
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How to get a 4.0 with ADHD-C and Dyscalculia
(Or, how to survive Uni as a disabled student)
Disclaimer: 
This is what has worked for me. I don’t claim that this will work for everyone. Not every ADHD brain is the same. Also other axis of privilege, time of diagnosis, and support are different between people. I have severe ADHD-C and was diagnosed as a young adult and had little support to help me deal with my symptoms until I met my partner. Psychiatrists aren’t trained to help you deal with the range of issues you will face. 
Do keep in mind as well that some professors are just ablest assholes. The idea that someone is kind, empathetic, or will always follow federal law just because they are in a profession that gives them a power differential is ridiculous. You may also run into professors that also take pride in their exam distributions looking like a statistician’s nightmare. Keep an eye out for the obvious dog whistles, and do research before registration when possible. If you end up in these situations, drop the class during the add/drop period if you can. If not, be prepared for your GPA to take a hit. 
I’m writing this from an American perspective, if you are in the UK/Europe I lived in Scotland for 5 years and would be happy to help if you have questions regarding the Equality Act 2010 and the UN convention of disability rights.
A. Lifestyle:
1. Sleep hygiene. Sleep = study retention.
I had trouble sleeping for most of my life. I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep or stay asleep at the appropriate times. A lot of people deal with this by being “night owls” — i.e. just accepting that our clocks are set later than neurotypicals’. Other people deal with this by sleeping on a biphasic or polyphasic sleep schedule. 
There is another option though. You can train yourself to go to sleep at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning. This might take a couple of weeks for your body to adjust. Here is how I did it:
Take your morning dose of medication about 30-40 minutes before you actually need to wake up. This allows medication to kick in. It’s similar to the trick of drinking a cup of coffee before taking a power nap. I have two alarms. One to take my medication, and the other to actually wake up. My medication alarms have a particular tone so that I don’t take my medication twice.
Wake up at the same time every day, including weekends. You can’t oversleep or your body won’t adjust. Do not press the snooze button. Get up right away to start your morning routine. The 5-10 minutes that your snooze gives you isn’t going to make you feel less tired. It will make your feel groggy, which is something called sleep inertia. Your body doesn’t get to complete a full sleep cycle, and it will donk you up.
Add going outside to your morning routine. Even if it’s the winter, or mostly dark. I have an adorable greyhound, and he has to go potty as soon as I wake up. In the very least open your blinds/curtains and open your windows to get some fresh air and morning light. Studies show that light effects our circadian rhythm. I find that even when it’s dark out though, going outside helps due to the cool morning air.
Keep a consistent morning routine. Do everything in order like you are going down a checklist of tasks. Make your bed as your final task. Don’t get back in your bed. Your bed is for sleep or sex only.
Go to bed at the same time every night, no matter what. Medication has likely worn off by the time you go to sleep, and contradictory to neurotypical belief, when your brain wanders it can make it harder to fall asleep. So can hyperfocusing. I find that reading can keep me up as I will hyperfocus, but listening to audiobooks doesn’t cause those problems. I turn off the lights, put a seep mask on, and play an audiobook with wireless headphones to help me get to sleep. I recommend reading/listening to something light like fantasy or science fiction.  Save thrillers, horror, and mystery books to listen to during the day.
2. Exercise.
I recommend exercising in the morning everyday, cardio and strength training. Even if you just do some cardio 10-15 minutes, it is still beneficial. Most exercise physiologists would recommend a rest day, but I’ve found that lighter days work better than complete rest days. You will see a noticeable difference in your hyperactivity symptoms. It’s not simply that it gets the fidgets out of your system, it is good for a hyperactive mind and helps with emotional dysregulation as well. It will help you sleep at night too.
Always speak to your doctor before you begin any exercise regimen, especially if you are taking 60+ mg of ADHD medication and have not exercised regularly on your medication previously.
3. Eating.
Eat at the same time everyday. Your body will tell you you’re hungry at those times. It’s also helpful to schedule your food around medication so that you don’t repress your natural appetite. Also, not that it needs to be said, but the brain uses up a lot of calories. You need to eat to retain what you learn.
4. Emotional Regulation.
This is one of the hardest parts of ADHD that no one ever talks about. You may not even know what this is, or that emotional dysregulation is a symptom of ADHD. It’s never mentioned in the DSM or ICD because emotions are hard (and expensive) to quantify. A lot of medical professionals have never even heard of it. If you want to read up on it, I suggest reading work by Dr. Russell A. Barkley. To give you the basics though, ADHD brains fail to self regulate emotions. We have emotional impulsivity. When we take in sensory information for conscious appraisal the pathway goes like this: stimulus —> thalamus —> cortex —> amygdala. Our frontal cortex is not the greatest at giving us context, or telling us to chill out, so our amygdala can be in the driver’s seat often. This aspect can make us really fun people, because it can make us get excited easily and enjoy life to the fullest. It can also cause us problems. For example, expressing anger at your boss or teacher (even if you are rightfully angry) might not be the best—diplomacy may give a better outcome. Our amygdala doesn’t know what is best for our future selves.
So, how does one regulate emotion when you’re brain doesn’t function like you want it? Try practicing mindfulness. And no, I’m not taking about attending to everything coming into your working memory or weird granola hippy garbage. When you are having an emotional response, check in with yourself. Are you feeling overstimulated? Are you feeling understimulated? Are you hungry, are you thirsty? Are you tired? Is your medication wearing off? Notice patterns, notice what triggers the emotion, write it down. Develop a proverbial toolbox that can help you when you are not regulating your emotions well. This toolbox is individual to you, and it may take some trial and error.
Keep in mind that trauma is different than emotional dysregulation, although our emotional dysregulation doesn’t exactly help. A lot of us ADHD brains have experienced severe emotional trauma via ableism and abuse from the school system, from teachers, or from parents. It never gets talked about because it’s usually caused by someone in a position of authority, and we are hardly ever given a voice to talk about our own experiences. Find someone you can trust to talk to about it. Find ways to self sooth in a healthy way when re-experiencing that trauma. You may have complex PTSD. It’s difficult for us to get help for complex PTSD because society doesn’t recognize that disabled people experience trauma in a very unique way. Keep in mind PTSD wasn’t even considered a disability under the ADA until 2008, one couldn’t get social security for PTSD until 2017, and the ADA didn’t exist until 1990. If you do seek out help though, expect push back from some medical professionals, have someone that will support you through the process, and do so when you will not be experiencing new trauma. Also, remember, fellow ADHD brains are here and we all love and support you.
B. Disability Services:
I’m not going to sugar coat this. We are barely recognized as human beings, so our rights are always under fire. Being disabled in this world is like walking through a mine field. Not every university or work environment is going to follow the ADA. The ADA became law in 1990, and the abled have been dragging their feet ever since. It’s difficult to enforce, complaining to the government often leads to nothing, and getting a lawyer is expensive. It’s also hard to prove discrimination in court. The ADA leaves a lot of room for improvement. Ableism is a systemic problem pretty much worldwide. I’m not trying to upset anyone, but you need to be prepared for what you are up against.
1. Keep the nature of your disability private.
Never ever ever tell a professor or TA the nature of your disability. Tell them you have a disability recognized under the ADA which is federal law, do not tell them what disability you have. There are lots of tips on tumblr that will tell you to inform professors that you have x disability, and that they will be empathetic and blah blah blah. Those uninformed tips are putting your legal rights, and your grade, in danger. There are so many biases professors can and do have when it comes to ADHD and dyscalculia. You are just asking to experience ableism if you divulge. Some professors don’t believe that ADHD is a disability, or they believe that vaccines cause ADHD, or that you just magically grow out of ADHD when you turn 18 etc.  It isn’t your job to deal with their delusions, their biases, or their ableism — that’s their therapists’ or HRs’ problem. You do not have to tell anyone but your university disability services. Under the ADA you have a legal right to privacy, but if you divulge to a professor you are waiving that right.
I also wouldn’t recommend telling other students the nature of your disability. Unless you are pretty sure the other student also has your disability, but even then internalized ableism is a thing. You never know who they are going to tell, if they are ableist, or how they feel about your accommodations. You never want an abled student crying to a professor because they think your accommodations are “unfair”. If a student wants to know what disability you have, and you want to tell them something because you have become acquaintances/friends but don’t want to tell them exactly, say that you have a neurodevelopmental disability and/or a learning disability.
2. Advocate for your legal accommodations.
Disability services are not going to hold your hand. They are not going to simply offer you all the accommodations that you are legally allowed or would make you successful. They deal with hundreds of other students and likely have accommodations they offer everyone, regardless of the type of disability you have. Request accommodations that actually put you on the same playing field as everyone else. Read the ADA, and understand what reasonable accommodations are.
If you have ADHD, I would recommend requesting extended time on exams and assignments, a private room to take exams in that is free of distraction, handouts/materials and textbooks in text-to-speech capable formats, the ability to take breaks in-class or exams, reduced course load, and the ability to record lectures for note-taking. You may be able to request a memory aid for ADHD, as a lot of ADHD brains have very low working memory (also called short term memory) capacity. Part of our attention difficulties come from low working memory capacity as sensory input goes through working memory before it is stored in long term memory. Anything stored in long term memory must be pulled back into working memory to be used and manipulated. Get a psychologist that specializes in ADHD adults to test your working memory capacity if needed.
If you have dyscalculia, I would recommend requesting a memory aid (used for formulas, constants, equations etc), the use of calculator on exams and assignments, extended time on exams and assignments, reduced course load, and a private room for exams.
3. Get accommodations implemented.
This is a different process than getting accommodations approved. My uni makes me contact professors at the start of the quarter in an ‘engagement process’. Due to re-experiencing trauma, I avoid setting up a meeting with professors and just email. Emailing prevents professors form cornering you or badgering you to divulge your disability, or subtly threatening you about your registration or degree, and puts everything in writing so there is a legal paper trail. 
Professors may try to get out of their legal obligations. I have had this happen multiple times. I’ve even had professors tell me that accommodations aren’t helpful for disabled students, or that they are not fair to abled students — I responded with “well it’s not fair that I was born with a disability and that you’re gatekeeping disabled people from getting an education”… they didn’t take that well. Do not try to argue with a professor about your disability rights or accommodations, it will only make you upset and they will likely accuse you of being hysterical or unstable. I’ve even had a professor say that I “threatened” them when I simply reminded them of their legal obligations under federal law as they were trying to not implement accommodations. This is why email is the best choice — you have time to respond professionally and having the receipts is important to keep you legally safe. If a professor is being belligerent about implementing accommodations, tell disability services what is going on (forward your emails) and remind them that accommodations must be implemented in a timely manner under the ADA. If disability services tries to make you argue with your professor, say that you do not feel comfortable doing so. If they push further, tell them you would rather not without an attorney or other representative present — mention you would rather the university handle it internally as you are concerned bringing an attorney or representative into an argument would escalate the situation which isn’t ideal for anyone.
I have a standard email that I send professors during the ‘engagement process’ that I edit slightly to reflect the course. It is professional, polite, and reminds them of their legal obligations as well as university policy. In it I also outline what my approved accommodations are and suggest how they should be implemented. 
4. Any paperwork you have to turn in, make sure to do it early. 
Create reminders on your calendar, write the dates in your bujo future log, whatever you need to do to get that paperwork in on time. Read everything slowly. These are legal documents. If you have a support system… ASK FOR HELP. Seriously, don’t be afraid to ask your support system for help with legal documents.
C. Studying:
1. Choose two places to study.
I don’t like studying in the library or in cafes. I know it’s not as aesthetic to study at home, but it prevents me from people watching and getting distracted. I have two designated study areas. One is my desk, the other is a cozy couch. Choose locations based on stimulation and comfort. My desk is fairly understimulating, while the couch is a bit more stimulation.
2. Learn to use your hyperfocus.
Most reading this probably know what you need to get in the hyperfocus zone. If you don’t, then note any patterns/conditions when it happens so you will have an easier time using the only ADHD super power you’ve got. When you are hyperfocusing on studying, ride the wave for as long as you can. However, make sure to set alarms to eat, go to the bathroom, stretch etc. Don’t let your hyperfocus keep you from taking care of yourself.
3. Create a study routine.
I know I keep blathering on about routines, but it helps. Treat studying like you would training as a professional athlete. When you have a study routine, you never have to decide to study. That decision is already made for you. When studying for exams, make a checklist of everything you need to cover. Ask the professor in advance about what is going to be covered on exams so that you can make an exam study plan early. If your professor is a garbage person and won’t tell you use the syllabus, textbook readings, labs, lecture slides, and snoop on the internet for past exams. Last minute learning is never a good idea. The human brain simply can’t do it, and your working memory capacity is too low to cram.
4. Accept that everything will take you longer, and that it’s okay.
It sucks, it really does. Those neurotypicals don’t know how lucky they are. It’s going to take you longer to read, to learn material, and to do basically anything in life. That’s okay, you do you. Don’t compare yourself to others, it will only cause you to feel bad about yourself. Guess what though, you are already a statistical anomaly. Only 32% of ADHD children graduate high school. Only 22% of adults with ADHD get into university. Only 5% of ADHD adults graduate from university. You are already punching those statistics in the face by existing. Seriously, do what you need to do and fuck anyone that has a problem with it. You’ve got this! 
5. Create the environment you need for your brain.
Sometimes I’m feeling really over stimulated and I need complete silence. Sometimes I feel at a sort of stimulation equilibrium and I listen to lofi study beats playlists. Sometimes I feel understimulated or I’m doing something really tedious, and I need to put on a tv show or a movie in the background. I keep a list of TV shows and movies that I can put on in such cases. Pick things that you won’t really watch and that you are familiar with. It usually helps me transition so that I can start the studying task. Listen to your body and do what works for you.
6. Don’t use the pomodoro technique.
The pomodoro technique was made for neurotypicals. ADHD brains have difficulty transitioning between tasks. It’s better to study for as long as you can maintain focus or hyperfocus than rely on a set 25 minutes. Again, be sure to eat and use the bathroom! You don’t want to be taken off your meds due to weight loss, and you don’t want to get a UTI.
D. Tools of the Trade:
1. iPad Pro & Apple Pencil v.s. Echo Livescribe Smart Pen
I used to use the echo livescribe smart pen but now I use an iPad. It’s cheaper in the long run and I don’t have to worry about running out of paper. Apple has way better customer support as well as iCloud backups, plus they can find your device if lost. Now I only use the echo livescribe pen when taking exams. My university lets me use one from the disability office so that I can make verbal notes when doing long answer exam questions and to keep track of my thoughts if I want to skip over a question and come back to it. I requested it as an accommodation, it had to be approved by committee. They actually thanked me for being so creative and trained the person in charge of accessible technology so that it could be used with other students. It’s almost like asking disabled students about what helps us and our experiences is a good thing!
2. Notability
I use the app Notability for lectures as it can record the lecture and has great organizational capabilities. I usually copy/paste slides into my notes so that I can write on them as well. I also use Notability to read textbooks. It’s got fairly good text-to-speech compatibility, so you can move around if you need to. 
3. Goodnotes 5
I use the Goodnotes 5 app for a digital bujo as well as for making mind maps. It’s got some great shape recognition functions. Although Notability has improved their shape functionality, it’s still not as great as Goodnotes 5.
4. iWork 
I also use pages on my iPad to make condensed study guides / study notes. It’s also really great for writing essays or making tables. I used to hand-write study notes, but it takes way longer.
4. Omnifocus
Omnifocus is great for breaking down big projects into smaller tasks or making quick checklists. It’s a bit of a pain to learn how to use, but once you do it’s completely worth it.
5. Quizlet Plus
Quizlet Plus is completely worth it. I use it a lot for figures or structures I have to memorize, I draw figures in Notability and take a screen shot or grab it from my textbook. It’s a really amazing flashcard app. Also, if you have your textbook on your device, you can copy/paste definitions right into quizlet.
6. Studybreak
Studybreak is a great app for iphone. It tells you how long you have been studying, nags you if you’ve touched your phone to scroll social media, and can suggest that you take a break. You can program it to set how long you want to study for, how long you want to take a break for etc. You can also ignore the break suggestion which is nice when one is hyperfocusing. It also keeps statistics on how long you have been studying and for which subjects.
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rockpapercompass · 5 years
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not that i want to be dependant with my meds but
day one back on it and my god i've already have sense of accomplishment eventhough i did nothing today LMAO
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rockpapercompass · 5 years
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at least im standing, proud of my work
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rockpapercompass · 5 years
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It’s really so much easier to communicate with your neurdivergent friends when you understand there is no “standard” to neurodivergence. All the time when people find out I have autism, they seem like they want to sort of argue about it. “But you don’t [insert well-known behavior]!”
Usually, they don’t even mean anything by it. They’re just surprised I don’t fit their image of what having autism looks like, and they don’t know how to be polite about it.
Sometimes, they even have the BEST intentions, going out of their way to avoid things they assume I won’t enjoy because of what they think being autistic means, but they end up excluding me from things I’m perfectly capable of doing and in fact love to do!
Instead of making assumptions about your friend’s physical, emotional, social, etc. limits based on your perception of their lived experiences, or even based on your experience with someone else with the same diagnosis, just ask them!
When my coworker found out I have autism, she said “oh! My friend with autism can’t really recognize sarcasm. Everything is very literal to him, so I try to be super straightforward with him. Is that something I should do for you too?”
And I said “nope! You can be as sarcastic as you want with me, I’ll know it!”
And she said great, and we moved on.
If you have doubts about the comfort zone of your friend with autism, don’t decide for us! Don’t assume! Just be polite and ask :^) !!
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rockpapercompass · 5 years
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Having adhd is kinda like when you first start playing a new video game and you don’t really know the controls except for like your entire life
And the controls are different for every level
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rockpapercompass · 5 years
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y'all I've been off of med for almost a year now
and dare i say my grades had plummet lmfao and because im in my final sem (thank god) i have decided too... take it again.... even though i dont like the side effects (dry mouth and lose of appetite) but ya gotta do what ya gotta do amirite
(also its like six weeks in and finally i decided to do this lmfao oh well better late than never right)
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