shinkiiro

[shinkiiro]

spiegls​:

he’s  said  something  he  shouldn’t  have.  Clear  as  the  fog  in  their  eyes,  spilling  over  and  swiped  against  his  thumb.  A  part  of  him  must  have  known  it  was  a  mistake  to  come  here.  Give  up  then,  as  soon  as  he  knew  it  was  a  death  sentence,  and  at  least  he  wouldn’t  have  involved  them  too.  They’ve  caught  on  to  how  selfish  this  whole  thing  is,  appearing  at  their  door  like  any  time  saved  is  the  solution.  For  who?  Who,  if  anyone,  was  he  really  hoping  to  save?  

Spike  is  only  a  reflection  by  the  time  he  notices  the  sting  in  his  eyes.  It’s  an  apology  in  the  making,  for  anything  and  everything  he  can’t  name.  Not  yet  at  least.  Somewhere  in  the  future,  he’s  remembering  the  time  he  snapped  out  of  this  illusion.  They  didn’t  even  need  to  say  anything:  he’d  come  to  it  on  his  own,  all  his  things  collected  and  his  gratitude  given  —  for  the  first  and  last  time  —  before  walking  through  the  door.  What  will  he  find  back  home,  anyway?  Vicious  waiting  for  the  somber  reunion?  There’s  little  point  in  hunting  the  dead,  but  he’s  given  his  brother  too  much  credit  already.  Of  course  he’d  be  waiting.  If  Spike  ran,  he’d  be  waiting  still.  Spike  was  the  one  caught  in  the  past,  not  him.  

But  Julia’s  rewritten  the  script.  They’re  happy,  light  collapsing  around  them  as  it’s  admitted.  Promised,  even.  

‘You  don’t  have  to —’

The  words  fade.  He’s  stopped  trying  to  predict  them,  eyes  forced  shut  as  if  it’s  this  darkness  that  can  be  kept.  Here,  he  can  at  least  commit  the  rest  to  memory:  their  breath  on  his  shoulder  turning  words  into  feeling,  in  only  the  way  they  can.  And  only  now.  He’s  sure  this  has  already  been  lost.  ‘I  shouldn’t  have  come  here,’  he  laughs,  mirthless  as  he  dries  his  own  eyes.  ‘Believe  me,  I  wanted  to  hear  you  say  that.  And  now  that  you  have .  .  .’

They’ve  rewritten  it  all.  If  not  selfish,  he’s  foolish  to  think  they  wouldn’t  be  making  the  right  choice  for  them.  But  to  be  the  one  who  sent  them  down  that  path?  His  hands  find  their  shoulders,  nudging  back  to  meet  their  eyes.  What  would  he  have  wanted  to  say,  looking  back  on  all  of  this?  

‘The  second  you  aren’t,  Julia  —  just  go.’  Smiling  as  he  says  it,  fingers  clinging  tighter.  ‘I’m  serious.  I  won’t  ask  why.  I  hope  you’ll  go.’

His words were mere nonsense to them, they’d risk it all for him. There was not a place in their world in which happiness wasn’t synonymous with his name. 

Julia pulled back to refute that they’d never leave, yet their eyes were instantly drawn to his smile. Everything they were about to say was simply forgotten, and time just stood still. Fear was even more prevalent now. They loved him, they couldn’t bear to lose him. The reality outside their door seemed more frightening now, when they woke up what would be waiting for them. It would be naïve to think that they could continue living in the eye of the hurricane and that the storm wouldn’t catch up with them. 

To stay in this idyllic mirage, that was their only wish, it all seemed like her life could finally make sense. All the tragedies, all the downs, they could all be leading up to this. To him. She had been lucky to find him, to be born in the same life as he had and meet him. 

Their hands cupped his face, intently staring into his eyes before leaning in to plant a kiss onto his lips before they chuckled. This was followed by them pressing their lips onto his cheeks, forehead, and tip of his nose. Even if they couldn’t say it out loud, it was hard not to show her feelings, it was just painfully obvious that his feelings were reciprocated. 

“I’m glad you came here.” They let out in a whisper. “You’re the only person I don’t mind passing out in front of the building.” Julia tried not to smile, but it was hard to hide that she didn’t mind the trouble. They could’ve spent more nights without sleeping, they could’ve carried his dead weight a hundred more times, as long as he was alive by the end of it. “But if you do it again, you’ll be cleaning your own blood off my couch next time.”

#this is slightly shorter but #ihehe #also i took so long hehe #i do apologize hehehehe #julia's in love /anger/ #01. #𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖘. #𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉： ｓｐｉｋｅ．

[shinkiiro]

i’m an empath and i feel like spike spiegel has ever had a dream that he um he had um he could he um he do he wants @spiegls

#ooc. tbt.

[shinkiiro]

ohoho I might do what I owe today <3

#ooc. tbt.

[shinkiiro]

𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲.

indie 𝙹𝚄𝙻𝙸𝙰 and 𝚂𝙿𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝚂𝙿𝙸𝙴𝙶𝙴𝙻 from cowboy bebop.  written by fox & sara 

#indie rp #anime rp #cowboy bebop rp #rp #𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖋 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖔. #𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖔. #canon rp

[shinkiiro]

@spiegls​ asked: night terrors ( hold  my  muse  after  they  wake  up  from  a  nightmare .)

There they stood, eight years old under the bed in the middle of the night. All they could hear from their room was screaming ---haunting screams. Then the trembling and crying began yet they remained still. Too scared to move, too scared to face whatever was outside their door, but this time things went differently. The door handle began moving and as the door opened, they could see someone approaching and seemingly inspect the room before she felt a hand drag her by her feet. 

A chilling scream left their lips as they woke up.  The first thing they could feel was fear and the sweat dripping down their forehead. She was terrified, it was enough with reliving such a tragic moment but now, she was next. Tears quickly began running down her face as her eyes sought for anything other than the darkness that enveloped their room. The breaths they took were more and more irregular as they continued to sob; that is until they feel arms wrapping around them. Julia froze before turning around, her whole body trembling as if she’d face the same man that took their parent’s lives many years ago. Instead their eyes finally recognized something, or rather someone in the darkness. Their arms instinctively wrapped around the other, holding him close.

Words seemed to hang on their throat, not able to explain the situation at all. All that came out of their mouth were muffled sobs as they rested their head on his shoulder. Although they were safe now, all they could think about was what she encountered after leaving her room back in the day. 

#cant believe you chose to fight #i took 8 years to post this #oooo what is that a reply w something i fucking hate!??!?! #sorry for not havin g dialogue also this is v bad dsjfhkjshfds #i tried my best so please take it w love #jhfksjfhk #𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖉. #01.

[shinkiiro]

Bro quick kiss me on the lips I need it for character development

#𝖒𝖚𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘.

[shinkiiro]

do u ever hate sara <3

#𝖔𝖔𝖈.

[shinkiiro]

What element do you connect with based on symbolism?

water as baptism religious connotations aside, water’s most famous meaning is that of baptism: the daily use of water as a cleansing tool—bathing, washing hands, all sorts of renewing rituals—is as ever-present in our lives as change itself. You delight in the constant destruction and recreation of yourself. Something about your life is unsatisfactory, and you ache for dramatic escape. Remember that just dreaming about a nebulous better future is not enough—chances are that the one-time massive upheaval you are imagining will not come, and it is up to you to make things happen yourself. Water is cleansing, but it is also slow erosion.

your patronus (the uquiz version)

Wolf You are proud, fierce, and loyal.

tagged by: @cosmicstrength  tagging: anyone who wants to do it! 

#idk how to tag this so #𝖒𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖘.

[shinkiiro]

spike: 🐠 😁 🐟

spike: 🐟😃👆🏼🐡

spike: 🔫😄

#ooc. tbt. #love this

[shinkiiro]

do you ever think of julia and how she spent most of their life alone?

#ooc. tbt. #😕😕 #I’ll be back with more bullshit after finals

[shinkiiro]

spiegls​:

they  can’t  stay.  Though  it  should  have  been  clear  when  he  saw  his  brother’s  face—cold  and  certain  in  the  chaos—the  reality  of  it  has  been  twisted  and  mangled  beyond  recognition.  They  can’t  stay  in  the  syndicate,  him  or ��Julia.  But  who  are  they  to  leave?  They  aren’t  above  the  consequences,  so  who  would  they  have  to  become?

Spike  is  shaking  his  head  before  he  realizes.  It’s  not  an  answer,  though,  and  it  isn’t  in  doubt  of  that  promise.  There’s  a  future  being  spun  to  life  between  them  and  it  ends  exactly  how  they’d  expect  it  to.  Whoever  they  have  to  become,  then,  and  however  they  manage  it,  he  already  knows  he  can’t  stay  to  watch  that  ending  unfold.  (He’s  the  one  who  sealed  their  fate.)  ‘Julia…’

But  whatever  it  was  that  he  meant  to  say,  it  drifts  with  the  tide  of  light  washing  in.  He  must  still  be  delirious:  a  kiss  placed  and  he’s  forgotten  it  all,  as  if  there’s  nothing  beyond  this.  No  world  outside  the  window.  He’s  here  because  he  should  be,  and  not  for  the  reason  that  his  nerves  still  sting  and  his  hands  still  tremble  to  lift.  In  fact,  he’s  here  to  wrap  his  arms  around,  not  to  fear  letting  go—the  absence  that  follows.  

If  there’s  an  end  to  this  peace  they’ve  found,  he’ll  talk  about  leaving  then.  Until  that  day  comes,  he’s  content  with  the  delusion:  to  hold  them  and  believe  in  the  endlessness.  ‘We  could  live  like  this.’  Odd  that  it’s  his  own  voice  he  hears,  muffled  but  warm  against  Julia’s  shoulder.  Sleep  still  hangs  onto  quiet  laughter  as  he  pushes  a  wave  of  blonde  back  again.  And  lost  as  anyone,  he  holds  them  closer  and  listens  for  the  rest  of  that  thought.  ‘I  mean  it.  The  same  day,  every  day.  Breakfast  in  bed,  and  reruns  on  TV,  and—’  a  word  or  two  lost,  a  kiss  left  on  the  temple,  ‘—we’d  wonder  why  the  hell  it  took  so  long  to  figure  out,  you  know?  Why  we  had  to  miss  so  much,  just  to…  I’m  trying  to  say  that  I  love  you,  for  the  record.  I  don’t  know  why  I  didn’t  lead  with  that.’

She ran her fingers through his hair, their view now out of focus. His voice engraved in their mind. Their name sounded so much better when spoken by him, it felt like it finally held some weight --- some meaning, even as he fell silent, their name echoed in their mind. A smile lingered, she wished this could last forever. And it didn’t take long for him to vocalize her thoughts. Their eyes shifted their focus back to him, by then she was no longer sure if what she heard was reality or just a dream. Without a notice their eyes began to water. We could live like this. It was hard not to get overwhelmed, gentleness wasn’t something she had been used to. Julia leaned closer to him. Words were stuck on their throat, she couldn’t speak. It was hard not to want normalcy. 

It’s then that another thought crossed their mind. What would it cost? What was the price for such life? It didn’t seem possible in this life. How could it be? Both of them had been taught and brought up differently... But maybe dreaming was worth a shot. At least it was when they held Spike close to them. Although the confession is the thing that caught them off guard and all she could do was answer with a wide smile. Julia wrapped both of their arms around the other and held him as close as possible --- fear set in. Now she definitely couldn’t lose him. Right there he took a place in her priorities than she didn’t even think was possible. Their words somehow now meant more than they had done before his confession. And yet she couldn’t say it back. “I’m happy.” It wasn’t that she didn’t love him, if anything, she loved him enough to know it was risky to say it back. She knew the weight of their words, she knew because she had just realized it. There would be no second thought on their part to die if it meant him living, no hesitation if she could ensure his happiness. His smile was engraved on their mind, there was no way she could risk that. “I wouldn’t change a thing. There has never been a moment since I met you that I feel like we wasted time or missed anything.” Their voice was a whisper for only him to hear.  Their hands grasped onto him as if he’d disappear, as if tomorrow she’d wake up and he’d be gone; as if she’d lose him. “I’m happy.” 

#julia: haha won't say i love you #julia: says it nonetheless just in a different way #01. #𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖘. #𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉： ｓｐｉｋｅ． #i will be crying in the club babes

[shinkiiro]

spaghetti spice is 80% leg and 15% shoulders, 2% head, 3% hair.

#ooc. tbt. #this is a spike spiegel roast account

[shinkiiro]

green flag: she laughs at her own jokes

#𝖒𝖚𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘. #i love julia so much

[shinkiiro]

@spiegls​: “I’m going up to my room now, where I may die.”

A chuckle echoed in the room. The smell of burnt food and cigarette smoke enveloping all three of them. His attempt for a decent meal had been nothing but that... an attempt. For as long as Julia had known both Vicious and Spike something that had been addressed since early in their friendship had been the other two’s inability to make anything edible. 

It had only taken one bite for them to need a glass of water to pass the food down and for Vicious to dispose of the food on his plate. Julia continued to chuckle as their eyes fell on Spike after his comment, amusement obvious in their face. “Come on.” They stood up from their seat, a wide smile adorning their face --- even when the food had been horrible and Vicious still made a huge issue about being hungry --- Julia couldn’t help but feel moved that at least the other tried so they wouldn’t be the one cooking. “Instead of locking yourself in your room just help me clean so I can make us something edible. You know how Vinny gets when he doesn’t eat and I bet you’re hungry too.” 

#this sucks my brain dipped out maam sorry #𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖉. #01.

[shinkiiro]

      𝙸𝚃 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝚁𝙰𝙸𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶  that  day  as  well.  /  and  so  you  didn’t  come  because  of  the  rain?  /  I  was  supposed  to  𝘬𝘪𝘐𝘐  you.  it  was  all  set  up.  if  I  had,  I  would  have  been  free.  /  so  why  didn’t  you?  /  𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚔𝚎  𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚎𝚐𝚎𝚕  of  cowboy  bebop,  independent  &  written  by  sara.

#look at my friend look at them! do it! #𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖔.

[shinkiiro]

My gender is the shadow in the corner of your room

#𝖒𝖚𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘.

[shinkiiro]

Etel Adnan, tr. by Mona Fayad, from The Poetry of Arab Women: A Contemporary Anthology; “Love Poems”

#𝖒𝖞 𝖙𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖘 𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖚𝖕 𝖆𝖘 𝖎 𝖙𝖗𝖞 𝖙𝖔 𝖑𝖊𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖌𝖔. #i will choke and cry and retch and die