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Hello everybody.

This is Chicken. His legal name is Loki but his preferred name is Chicken. He’s my reason for living. I got him after my old girl passed away and I was in a very dark time of my life. He’s 5 years old. He enjoys listening to Queen and watching Star Trek. He has a brother and a sister that he tolerates.

Everything I do, I do for him and my other babies.

So that’s why I’m posting this. I need help for him. He has dental disease and most, if not all, of his teeth need to be removed. I’m looking at a $2000 vet bill that I cannot cover along with all of my other bills. My job doesn’t offer overtime and the overnight differential is absolute crap. And my credit has gone to hell after being mentally, emotionally, and financially abused by my roommate.

So if you could share this post and/or donate anything, I’d be so grateful. I want to make sure he’s healthy above all and has a safe and stable home.

Venmo: tahill64

Cashapp: tahill64

#donate to my venmo #help #my pets #pls donate #donate if you can

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So I got a new job working registration in an emergency room. Perfect opportunity for me to be nosey.

But it blows my mind how different everyone’s perception of pain is. I’m chillin here in serious pain from undiagnosed issues and there’s patients that come in with the same exact pain but they’re screaming.

Wild.

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Everyone wants to date the weird goth chick until I go and do weird goth chick shit.

I found half a cat pelvis in field in my neighborhood, so I carried it on stick for the rest of my walk to bring it home. I spent 30 minutes pulling dried up, loose muscle bits off it so I can start preserving it.

Don’t be weirded out when I start doing weird shit.

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I just want to vent/give a life update.

I have been dealing with chronic, debilitating body pain for years. My back hurts, my legs ache so bad to the point that I can’t touch them and have to cry myself to sleep so that I can sleep, and I have no grip strength in my hands. I get sharp pains where my neck meets my shoulder when I sit for too long. And my tailbone aches for the same reason. I can never sit still. I barrel roll all night trying to get comfortable and I’m awake every time I need to move because the pain wakes me up.

I went to one doctor. She decided that my pain was psychological and pinned it on my depression. Tried me on cymbalta, which made my leg pain and insomnia worse. And gave me wicked mood swings to the point I scared a 6’6” 350 pound man. Then she tried me on Zoloft. Made me sleep though my job. She increased the Zoloft which made the sleeping and mood swings worse. She also suggested “walk through nature and do some yoga” for my pain. And pushed therapy on me. I didn’t ask for my depression to be treated. I want my pain treated.

So I switched doctors. This one listens to me and is trying. She thought that I have scoliosis since she “felt it.” Sent me for every blood test she could for inflammation indicators and x-rays to confirm scoliosis. It all came back normal. She also sent me for ultrasounds to see if my polycystic ovarian syndrome was causing pain issues. And my thyroid is slightly enlarged and I have hypothyroidism. Got an ultrasound for that. Even started me on a pain medication, but it makes me just as tired as my anxiety meds and when I wake up from my accidental naps, I’m still hurting. But all the tests came back normal. Everything. No indicators of anything.

I’m just about ready to give up. At least I know now that it is all in my head and I need to lose weight and treat my depression. Even though I was in more pain at my lowest weight that hasn’t gone away even with my weight going up and down for years. There’s nothing it could be except I’m fat and depressed. I’m giving up.

Maybe I’ll get answers. But my insurance runs out at the end of June. If I don’t have answers by then, I’m giving up.

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Sometimes you struggle to remember what any of your teacher's or classmates faces looked like. Other times the right Linkin Park song lines everything up and you experience every bus ride you've ever been on simultaneously

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Kiki Smith (American, b. 1954), Two Deer, 1996. Ink on paper, in two parts, each sheet: 52 x 46 in.

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I would be unstoppable if not for the problems

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Whats wrong with your life?

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accepting that you’re objectively weird & owning it is infinitely better than being constantly desperate to appear normal to people who don’t even matter to you

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I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of ‘clean and sober’ meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didn’t have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, ‘So this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didn’t have money/time for!’ “Whatcha mean?” “You know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, ‘Please mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do this’ and they went ‘Hell no you think I’m paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?’ “ And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, ‘I always wanted to be a cowboy, and you can’t drink when you’re on a horse ‘cause you’ll fucking die!’ Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure it’s bills and work and relationships, but damn it, it’s also time to do the things you LIKE. I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. I’m going. It’s time.

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if it means I can be free to be me, let me burn 🔥

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why do i have to find an actual job instead of being the apprentice of the old witch who lives in the woods?

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YALL RICKY DID THAT HE. DID. THAT.

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my cats name is шарик (SHA-reek, roll the r) but his legal name is soap just to make it easier on americans and also its a cute name. anyways the vet called him "mr. soap" which i really appreciated

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my life isn’t in a very good state right now but at least i can proudly say that i don’t ship gaming youtubers