softeningmyheart

[softeningmyheart]

I keep getting recommended this one former occultist guy when I mention my particular background but from all I've seen of him... I'll be honest, I really don't get what he's doing or what he's talking about. I'm not saying he's lying or anything, but whatever world he was involved in was far different than what I've seen.

I'm glad for him to be honest, because it seems like he was just messed with a bit in the head before finding Allah. But it is a bit alienating because it really does feel like I'm the only one coming from such a background sometimes. It's all about appealing to christians, or atheists, or hindus, and I understand why but again, it can be disheartening. Why am I the only one? Billions of muslims in the world, and yet not a revert story I've seen yet that I can really truly relate to on a personal level like that.

You might be thinking, what does it matter? Can't you find another way to relate? And that is true. It's just that, there's certain things I just don't dare explain to anyone who has not been there. I've seen things. Things that I don't particularly want to expose people to if they're living without the knowledge. No good can come of it, but it is lonely at the same time just keeping it to myself. At least, until I'm sure I can share it in a way that will not risk tempting people into things they have no business getting involved in. And that's not even getting into the things I don't dare talk about because I fear retaliation.

All in all, I'm happy I don't relate to this kid, because that means he didn't have to go through all that. I just wish I could truly relate to... somebody. That's just how it has to be right now I suppose.

#learning about islam #revert journey #muslim revert #thoughts

[softeningmyheart]

Everyone falls, everyone gets hurt, everyone gets broken but only those who have Allah are able to stand again.

[softeningmyheart]

ما كان مقدرا لك سيأتيك ولو كان بين جبلين

- "What is meant for you, will reach you even if it is beneath two mountains." "

وما لم يكن مقدرا لك لن يأتيك ولو كان بين شفتيك -

"And what isn't meant for you, won't reach you even if it is between your two lips."

[softeningmyheart]

Hasten to do tawbah as soon as you sin teach yourself that habit and make dua to Allah to guide you to seek forgiveness from Him after every sin.

[softeningmyheart]

“All matters are destined by Allah”

Quran (3:154)

[softeningmyheart]

Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله said:

"The person who treats others kindly and thinks well of them, will find that his intention will remain true, he will feel at ease, his heart will be sound and Allāh will protect him from evil and calamity."

[Madarij al-Salikeen | 2/511]

[softeningmyheart]

[softeningmyheart]

Being able to talk to Allah about whatever we want, whenever we want is honestly such an underrated blessing.🤍🥹

[softeningmyheart]

The other day I was listening to the adhan and thought to myself of those muadheen who call to some of the largest mosques in the world. Who call to prayer thousands upon thousands of muslims at a time. Who the prophet pbuh said if we knew the reward of the one who calls to prayer we would fight each other for the privilege. Such a reward is rare for any human and far more rare among the muadheen. And yet, it is not at their feet that the gates of jannah are placed. The women and mothers hold a station greater than the most fortunate men and they attain it by simply being.

[softeningmyheart]

The beauty of a man begins with lowering his gaze.

And the beauty of a woman lies in not attracting this gaze to herself.

[softeningmyheart]

[softeningmyheart]

Every son of Adam commits sin

[softeningmyheart]

ارحَمو من في الارض يرحمُكم من في السّماء

Have mercy on His creation

so you can receive His mercy.

[softeningmyheart]

Jerusalem, Palestine 💛✨️

[softeningmyheart]

The Internet is a Hostile Environment for the Truth and I Wish I Could Be Done With It Already, But I Can't

So often, I'll see things in my pinterest feed that say "Islam forbids X" or "You must do X in Islam" and it's just, some random person talking. Not a scholar of any kind, no references to the Quran, nothing. It could be true, but it could also be half-true, or it could be based on a weak hadith, or it might just be entirely made up. Without sources, there's no way to check.

It's really annoying because I end up passively taking in this information as I'm passively scrolling on my phone and then it's like, wait a minute, did a prophet even say that? Is that even in the Quran? Or is that just the opinion of a person out there who happens to be muslim? And there's no easy way to get an answer.

The nature of social media is so exhausting. Not knowing Arabic, it can be really hard to figure out what's true and what is a misunderstanding even when I have the proper source. Add in all the weird political agendas and cultural traditions that people may want to force onto you as a stranger and it just becomes a mess. But the nature of algorithms is that if you look at anything related to Islam, you will be fed more content about Islam, and the algorithm doesn't know or care what is correct.

You can't get away from it even if you try. It's so easy to just absorb information in passing and never stop to consider it deeply, and then end up with a completely false idea of how Islam views something. Meanwhile, fact-checking even the things you notice you are reading is a whole job in and of itself. Most of the time, I don't even know where I would begin to look to verify or debunk things. It's not like I can just casually read through the entire Quran in Arabic every time I'm wondering "Oh, is that really in there?" when someone claims something with absolutely zero source.

It's easy to tell myself, oh, I just won't listen to anything that doesn't have a source provided, but that's a lot easier said than done. Again, we scroll on our phone's absent-mindedly a lot of the time, and many times you'll end up reading things in passing that you don't even really notice you're reading. It just happens, and then the information makes its way into your subconscious mind without an ounce of critical thought. Then later, I end up with the inkling of "Hey, maybe I shouldn't do that," or "Hey, isn't this mandatory?" based on what I read... but I have no idea where I read it or what to do about it! I can't just do the opposite of every claim I see without a source, or I'm just as much of a fool because it could very well be true and I just don't know why yet.

Googling the questions can help at times, but sometimes it just leads me down the rabbit hole of deep scholarly debate that are overwhelming when I barely understand the surface level. I don't know how to digest and think critically about the level of thought and historical context that scholars are engaging with. I'm not well educated on Islam, I'm not well read in the Quran, I don't know the history of the area of the Quran was revealed in, and I'm completely reliant on others to translate for me.

I suppose it's all just a part of my test. It's just so confusing, and at times frustrating. I imagine having an offline teacher or tutor or even just friends and family who could guide me would solve a lot of these issues, but that kind of support system is just not a luxury I have at the moment. The very anatomy of modern social media is so hostile to the spread of accurate information though, and I'll be very happy when I no longer need to turn to the internet first in order to learn about Islam or connect with muslims.

#revert journey #muslim revert #learning about islam #islam #islamic #thoughts

[softeningmyheart]

And never is your Lord forgetful

• Quran (19:64), Surah Maryam

[softeningmyheart]

ٱلَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَـٰٓئِرَ ٱلْإِثْمِ وَٱلْفَوَٰحِشَ إِلَّا ٱللَّمَمَ ۚ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ وَٰسِعُ ٱلْمَغْفِرَةِ ۚ

" those who avoid major sins and shameful deeds, despite ˹stumbling on˺ minor sins. Surely your Lord is infinite in forgiveness."

Al-Quran (53:32)