My Mcr, Patd and starkid hyper fixations are all screaming and throwing tantrums in my brain demanding my constant attention meanwhile my unfinished math IXL’s are dragging their limp malnourished bodies across the floor begging for a crumb of my time
thinking really hard about how owen thought he loved curt more. how owen always would've stayed for curt even if it meant that neither them would've made it out of the night alive. loved him so much that he would abandon all reason, every self-preserving instinct and every rational thought. what they had meant so much that owen didn't care what he would have to destroy to keep it---be it the world, be it himself. he loved curt more than all of it. but curt didn't do that for him. didn't want him enough to do everything in his power to never leave him. to owen, he loved curt so much he let himself become foolish for him. and the consequences left scars which turned into blistering, violent anger that eventually swallowed him whole. owen would've done anything to stay with curt. but curt didn't. and wasn't that why he had to let curt go?
also thinking really hard about how curt thought he loved owen more. how his entire life stopped after he lost him, how every single thing that brought his life meaning ceased to matter now that owen wasn't in it. how he always needed the one to do good, to mean something, to be enough for someone---but he could never get it right for owen. the best of best. the person he needed to be worthy of the most. how curt could never be able to bring himself to hate owen, not when he was so incredible and loving and good, but owen could. owen, who knew every wonderful thing they shared, the feelings curt had for him and the things he had done, and didn't hesitate to leave it behind. was able to keep going, despite knowing he was out there waiting and wanting and grieving all the while. curt would've forgiven owen for leaving a million times over. the wonder of what they had meant more than anything else in curt's world. but owen discarded it so easily. and wasn't that why he had to let owen go?
they loved eachother so much it changed them irrevocably. but they both died thinking that their love was pointless. never truly wanted. that they were the one who loved the other more.
A small headcanon that Ted wears contacts spawned into this.
This might have been funnier in my head- but at least I'm practicing comic making and giving characters different outfits.