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Lmao how is this real, "the ambient sounds of the world were wrong, sir"

#i went and looked into it because John McWhorter used to be a chill guy #so surely this was misunderstood #there's a space to suggest this isn't Cage's authorial intent #but nah it turns out he sucks now and he meant what he said

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My friend just made me feel weird for asking so now i gotta know.

If you do have a favorite bird please please tell me in the tags, i want to see some Birds!!

#more grackles plz

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ALT

Cesium-133, let it be. Cesium-134, let it be even more.

Periodic Table Regions [Explained]

Transcript

[A periodic table with regions labeled.]

[Hydrogen:] Slightly fancy protons [Lithium and Beryllium:] Weird dirt [Group 1 & 2 metals, Periods 3-4:] Regular dirt [Group 1 & 2 metals, Periods 5-7:] Ends in a number, let it slumber ends in a letter, not much better [Left side of the transition metals group:] Boring alloy metals Probably critical to the spark plug industry or something (but one of them is radioactive so stay on your toes) [Most of the top row of the transition metals + aluminum:] Regular metals [Below the rightmost “regular metals” - the “ordinary metals” and some transition metals:] Weird metals [The platinum group:] $$$$ [Boron:] Boron (fool’s carbon) [Carbon, Nitrogen, and Phosphorus:] You are here [The Halogens:] Safety goggles required [Noble Gases:] Lawful neutral [Iodine and Radon:] Very specific health problems [Ordinary metals and metalloids - Arsenic, Antimony, Tellurium, Thallium, Lead, Bismuth, Polonium] Murder weapons [Astatine and Period 7 from Rutherfordium onwards:] Don’t bother learning their names - they’re not staying long [Lanthanides and Actinides:] Whoever figures out a better way to fit these up there gets the next Nobel Prize

#checks out

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I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.

#accurate

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DO NOT DO THIS!!!

If a website has a paywall, like New York Times, DO NOT use the ctrl+A shortcut then the ctrl+c shortcut as fast as you can because then you may accidentally copy the entire article before the paywall comes up. And definitely don’t do ctrl+v into the next google doc or whatever you open because then you will accidentally paste the entire article into a google doc or something!!!! I repeat DO NOT do this because it is piracy which is absolutely totally wrong!!!

#watch out

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Gen X: [raises hand] Can... can we also maybe not get worked to death?

#sorry gen x #unfortunately sacrifices had to be made

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Nah man thank you for thinking of me but it turned out I wasn't actually into it, I just didn't like disappointing people

#sabine needs a kink tag

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When a bartender becomes a father

#people having fun being parents is very heartwarming

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Thank you to @sleepnoises for making the original poll & for giving us the idea to to this :)

Sorry if we couldn’t get your favorite on here, we were limited to only 12 options (11 if you don’t include the “other” option).

#Justice for that one time loop episode of Stargate SG-1

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No, Mr. Horse, don’t worry, I certainly don’t have a Plinko down here! What I do have is this lovely cask of wine, specifically for horses, Amontillado in fact! Exquisite vintage.

I know you’re not supposed to be in this hospital, but if you’ll just follow me down this corridor—no, that’s not blood on the floor, it’s color theory, I’ll explain it later—I can bring you to this cask of wine that is certainly NOT a plinko machine—

#this whole post is so cursed #i love it #hellsite (affectionate)

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I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.

#accurate

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the way this shiba puppy yawns (please unmute)

#that is a little boy #more puppers plz

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What exactly is going on with Taylor swift? Did she do something wacky or just release a shit album that's so bad it's funny?

okay i have done time as a swiftie and i now watch over those weirdos like im david attenborough so you’ve come to the right place.

ur correct about it being an album so bad its funny. but theres more. im very sorry but this will be long.

so basically since like 2016 she was in an apparently steady and normal long term relationship with a blond man called joe alwyn whose only character trait is knowing how to shut the fuck up (and i love him for that)

then in april 2023 it was announced that they broke up while she was on tour but bc the relationship had been uneventful and boring this whole time, the general vibe from everyone was “huh thats kinda sad, oh well”

i might be mixing up the timeline a little here but a couple weeks later there were some articles about how she’s now dating matty healy from the 1975. people were mostly just like “pfft its just tabloid shit it cant be true” and then at the next 1975 gig, marty pointed into the camera and said “this is for you, you know who you are, i love you” before playing a love song. THEN at the next taylor gig she did the exact same damn thing and the swifties hit the fan.

to make a very long fuckin story short, they dug up a bunch of dirt about how this dude is a nasty little racist misogynist rat and he needs to get away from their poor little innocent billionaire princess. some people get kinda heated about whether these accusations are true and tbh id rather eat glass than get into that shit myself

SO, swifties outnumber us all and raised absolute hell online while taylor brought this guy to all her concerts and let him perform with the opening acts. her publicist released some statements saying taylor knows what her fans are saying and she doesnt give a fuck. but also said they’re not super serious and are just having fun together.

during all this, theres a small group of swifties that have decided to break away and become very pro-marty and essentially pit him against aforementioned blond man joe alwyn. their general narrative is that because joe loves being quiet and doesnt really do Celebrity Things, that must mean he was ashamed of his relationship with taylor. this is where we get the beloved He Lets Her Bejeweled meme

this fannade narrative becomes more relevant in a bit

at some point during this relationship she releases the joe alwyn breakup song You’re Losing Me, which just describes some very standard long term relationship breakdown stuff. they have different life goals and they’re drifting apart and the communication is breaking down. she kinda wants him to do something to save it at the eleventh hour but that wouldnt be realistic. very sad oh well.

theres a small amount of kicking off from the fandom about he’s awful for this but only bc they’re addicted to the idea that their favourite billionaire is the worlds most tragic victim and honestly whats new

and here starts the very fucking weird trend of her publicist releasing statements that are very clearly deliberately backing up the weirdo fan theories. a lot of “taylor and matty are showing up for each other UNLIKE HER LAST RELATIONSHIP and he is proud of her UNLIKE JOE ALWYN” like..alright.

anyway ratty and taylor break up after about a month of publicly dating and she sings some sad songs and cries at her concerts but everyone mostly forgets about the whole thing.

about a month later travis kelce asks her out and they end up dating and the white women of america collectively cream. personally i dont get it because i dont know what sports are and the only travis im familiar with is the tractor from bob the builder but i digress. the 35 year old deadbedroom swifties are going CRAZY. they’re saying these two are gonna get married and have ten kids and global superstar taylor swift can finally achieve the only real success for a woman: marriage and motherhood. because football man is the only Real Man she has been with due to the fact that he is tall and wide and bearded.

its severely tragic and vicarious

once again the focus does not remain on the couple. they’re turning on poor puppydog joe alwyn again. this time he’s evil not only for being “ashamed” of her but also for wasting her time by not marrying and impregnating her, because as we have established, thats the only point to life as a woman. how dare he waste all that time locking her away in the six mansions that she owns.

and her publicist does the same shit as before with the “he supports her and shows up for her UNLIKE JOE” bullshit. all of these people are over 30 and have never experienced a real problem.

this creates a cycle that is honestly kind of concerning, where the fans invent a strange theory, the publicist backs it up, the swifties add to the theory, the publicist back up the new additions, and so on. taylor continues dating travis and they go to each others concerts/games and act like a relatively normal honeymoon phase couple. the narrative has massively broken away from the reality.

so this continues, people hyping up travis and hating joe. at this point i want to note that taylor and her team have spent a lot of years crying about how the nasty misogynistic media only ever cares about her relationship drama and ignores her art because they hate powerful women or something. the irony is that just about every bit of publicity she’s done over the last year+ has been directly linked to whatever breakup or boyfriend she’s going through currently. they’re definitely not hiding that this is the PR direction they’re going with.

so, with the weird fan rumours continuing to reinforce themselves, the swifties become very confident that their imaginations are telling the truth. they stalk joe alwyns social media presence, of which there is very little. but if you go out looking for mess you never come back empty handed. they find that he has been around women. because he is an actor. and some other actors are women. anyway they fully believe this is proof that he cheated, and they launch harassment campaigns against these relatively small actors, who end up having to private their accounts. then the swifties find another woman to harass for being “the other woman”. it goes on.

then the abuse and domestic violence accusations against joe alwyn are created. not from taylor or anyone close to the situation. only from the fans. her PR team have at least stopped reinforcing the fan theories at this point, but the ball is already rolling.

when she announces her new album, the swifties ERUPT with joy that finally she is going to end joe alwyn, the man who im pretty sure has just been chilling in his house this whole time. the harassment of anyone and everyone deemed in any way guilty continues tenfold. they are openly tweeting about finding him in london and physically attacking and/or killing him (he’s not a huge celebrity and is often just hanging around alone with no security team or anything. im sure these threats arent serious but they feel kinda more dangerous when the target essentially just hangs around as a private citizen)

the album promo is pretty much just.. “hey i dated this dude and he made me sooooo sad isnt that interesting, swifties?” over and over again. each new post brings a bigger wave of joe harassment. they’re champing at the bit for taylor to tell them all the many ways he hurt her so dreadfully.

then the album leaks and its all about matty healy, which is very funny on the dismayed swiftie-violence front but also just..terrible in that she used the harassment of joe as an album promo tactic when the album barely mentions him. the only thing she really says about him is that he suffers from depression and it made their relationship difficult.

..and yeah, the album is about how she’s been obsessed with marty for over ten years and she fantasised about him while in her long term relationship, and theres maybe some overlap of the two relationships. the irony. all the “this man hurt me so much!!!”-type lyrics that were released to promote the album were actually about matty, not joe. a lot of the swifties are continuing to double down on hating joe bc they cant accept that the matty relationship even happened. theres a song about how much she hates her fans for hating her relationship with rarty. its called but daddy i love him. its a whole embarrassing mess for everyone involved, including me for typing all this out.

and after all that most of the songs fuckin suck

#w h a t

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Reblog for larger sample size. Feel free to indicate in the comments your generation, approximate region of residence, your length of experience with fan fiction, or when/where you first encountered these terms.

#you haven't seen the things I've seen #I've seen warnings for orange and grapefruit #(but it's just whether it's R or NC-17)

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(Miniature) couch restoration

I found this couch ( with a bunch of other things I didn't care about) for 2$ at a second hand store

Finding dollhouse miniatures is kind of rare around here so I grabbed it, I thought at worst it would be a cheap MDF off of AliExpress or something and I could repaint it, but once I scraped a bit of the paint off I was pleasantly surprised to find a nice wood finish!

There was at least 3 to 4 layers of paint through (⁠‘⁠◉⁠⌓⁠◉⁠’⁠) (white, gray, maybe white again and finally pink)

Out of curiosity I pried up the fabric which was obviously not the original, to find another unoriginal fabric and pried that up too and that was still not the original 🤣 matroshka doll of upholstery

After huffing 99% alcohol and paint brush cleaner for probably 5 or so hours I ended up with this

I left the back and seat of the couch rough as it would be covered in fabric anyway, it looks like that maybe at some point this got sanded in a few spots? I fixed it up by finally using my furniture repair markers as intended (mostly I don't think they had mini furniture in mind)

You can see on the left half where I tried different colours to see what would match best

Now new upholstery! I only had the original couch cushion seat so I decided to just redo the whole thing in silk of corse (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

I wanted it to look a little worn so I picked this really textured blueish green/cream dupini silk

From barbie would be embarrassed to have this in her house to Victorian centerpiece! Or well I would like to think so ;;;

#delightful!

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i wish incels were right about women only going for greek god level looking males but NO i have to endure the Barry Keoghan thirst posts instead

#jeremy allen white

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I used to be so wild and free

I just got genuinely excited that I could export our org chart and not have to rewrite it for federal reporting purposes

#okay in my defense it takes hours #and it is one very small part of a huge application