svyatoiy

[svyatoiy]

It's hell on earth to be heavenly. (from nik!)

❴  ❊ ˒  PROMPTS  ⊰   ACCEPTING!

the little saint had left dinner much like she had arrived: deflated and tense, quick to bite and slow to smiles, aching for solace yet yearning for company. upon her return to the darkling’s chambers, she’d collapsed in a chair by the hearth, where she remained in her own egotistical misery when the prince announced his presence. all the sun summoner could muster in response was a roll of her eyes, gaze returning to the smoldering fire.

❛❛ before the crossing, before all of this── I just wanted to be someone to anyone. to matter, in whatever capacity the saints deemed me worthy of. ❜❜ her voice tapered off in a disbelieving laugh, clearly self-deprecating despite its short-lived existence. how foolish she was to have prayed to the saints, when all it took to become one was a moment of fear. they were all human, just like her. and even as she spoke, she knew the words were lies; alina loved the light too much to ever willingly trade it away again. ❛❛ now I almost wouldn’t mind being no one. perhaps I’d even prefer it, to all this… hope, all these expectations placed upon me. ❜❜

when she opened her mouth next, a question whose answer she already knew rolled off her tongue. though declaring him a friend might be considered too large a declaration just yet, he was no longer a stranger ─ while uncharted territories remained, there were parts of him that were familiar to her now, and this she knew to be true: his moral compass pointed the same way hers did. their paths forward were intricately intertwined, and neither could nor would attempt to dislodge them. their shared purpose was to defend ravka & no personal sacrifice would be too large. still, in the late hours of the evening, when nighttime and its shadowed apparitions were mere moments away, perhaps there was some levity to be found in nikolai’s company.

one foot reached out to push at the chair opposite her, angling it towards the fireplace; it was an unspoken invitation to join her. ❛❛ what about you, mr. prince perfect? are you wishing you never scooped me up from the darkling and stayed far away from the palace, that you were still a mysterious privateer? ❜❜

#cordoliae #cordoliae: nikolai lantsov. #❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔦𝔳. ⊰ mail. ic response. #❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔳. ⊰ the problem with heroes and saints? they always end up dead. #nik and alina. sitting in a tree. being sad! (again!!)

[svyatoiy]

just interviewed for my dream job and i think it went well 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️

#❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔦𝔳. ⊰ ooc. emotionally unstable yeehaw. #i need a stress nap and THEN!! back to my inbox

[svyatoiy]

hand in marriage please 🙏

#tbd. #she's just soooo

[svyatoiy]

worst sleep that I ever had.

❴  ❊ ˒  PROMPTS  ⊰   ACCEPTING!

before them the cobbled streets of the old town beckoned, crowded with fellow tourists, unlucky locals, and a myriad of buskers and street performers dispersed outside the souvenir shops. above the sound of the eager crowd she could just barely discern the telltale sound of a bagpipe in the distance ─ yesterday she might have poked at ken with the widest smile across her face and pointed the sound out to him, excitement rendering her limbs jittery. but today all she could muster was a large yawn, black-painted fingernails wiping away a stray tear from the corner of her right eye. in her left hand she gripped a disposable coffee cup from greggs, which she sipped at in silence, praying to any saint that would listen to energize her for the day ahead.

❛❛ mmh. ❜❜ alina hummed in agreement, suppressing another yawn at the mention of sleep, and offered him the rest of her stale coffee. ❛❛ the guy in the bunk underneath me kept pulling my curtain open. said he had to make sure I was actually sleeping. ❜❜

her travel companion seemed to be wrapped up in a similar haze of exhaustion and languidity as she did, lazily stretched out on the chair by her side. with his messy hair & his eyes circled in shadows, he looked like he’d been on a bender last night. if only the truth was as salacious. ❛❛ maybe next time we can save up a little, and forgo the hostel for a private apartment instead? ❜❜

#daylighter #❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔦𝔳. ⊰ mail. ic response. #❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔳. ⊰ people don’t expect lip from a scrawny thing like me. #are u really a broke student on vacation until you've (not) slept in a horrible hostel...

[svyatoiy]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift (Part II)

GUILTY AS SIN?

I hadn't heard it in a while.

My boredom's bone deep.

This cage was once just fine.

Am I allowed to cry?

I dream of cracking locks.

Crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox.

I'm seeing visions.

Am I bad, or mad, or wise?

What if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?

Oh, what a way to die.

I keep recalling things we never did.

Without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin?

There's no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk.

We've already done it in my head.

Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

What if I roll the stone away?

They're gonna crucify me anyway

What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly.

I choose you and me, religiously.

WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?

You don’t get to tell me about sad.

If you wanted me dead you should’ve just said.

Nothing makes me feel more alive.

Who’s afraid of little old me?

You don’t get to tell me you feel bad.

Is it a wonder I broke?

Let’s hear one morе joke.

Then we could all just laugh until I cry.

I was tame, I was gentle till the circus life made me mean.

Don’t you worry folks, we took out all her teeth.

So tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is?

Say they didn’t do it to hurt me, but what if they did?

I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me.

You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

All you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs.

I’m always drunk on my own tears, isn’t that what they all said?

I’ll sue you if you step on my lawn.

I’m fearsome, and I’m wretched and I’m wrong.

Put narcotics into all of my songs and that’s why you’re still singing along.

You lured me and you hurt me and you taught me.

You caged me and then you called me crazy.

I am what I am 'cause you trained me.

I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY I CAN)

The smoke cloud billows out his mouth like a freight train through a small town.

The jokes that he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud.

God, help her.

I told them he's my man

I can fix him, no, really, I can.

The dopamine races through his brain on a six-lane Texas highway.

His hands so calloused from his pistol softly traces hearts on my face.

I could see it from a mile away.

A perfect case for my certain skill set.

He had a halo of the highest gradе.

He just hadn't met me yеt.

Good boy, that's right.

Come close.

I'll show you Heaven if you'll be an angel, all mine.

Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man.

LOML

Who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames?

We were just kids, babe.

I don't mind, it takes time.

I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed.

I felt a glow like this, never before and never since.

If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary.

You said I'm the love of your life.

You took me to hell too.

A con man sells a fool a "get love quick" scheme.

I felt a hole like this, never before and ever since.

What we thought was for all time was momentary.

Mr. Steal-Your-Girl, then make her cry.

You shit-talked me under the table.

I wish I could unrecall how we almost had it all.

It was legendary.

It was momentary.

It was unnecessary.

Should've let it stay buried.

What a valiant roar.

What a bland goodbye.

The coward claimed he was a lion.

I'm combing through the braids of lies.

Our field of dreams engulfed in fire.

I'll still see until I die.

You're the loss of my life.

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART

I can read your mind.

She's having the time of her life.

I can show you lies.

I'm a real tough kid.

I can handle my shit.

They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it till you make it" And I did.

Lights, camera, bitch, smile.

He said he'd love me all his life.

All the piеces of me shatterеd as the crowd was chanting "More".

I was grinnin' like I'm winnin'.

I can do it with a broken heart.

I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day.

I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague.

I cry a lot, but I am so productive, it's an art.

You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

I can hold my breath.

I've been doing it since he left.

I keep finding his things in drawers.

I didn't imagine the whole thing.

'Cause I'm miserable and nobody even knows.

THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED

Was any of it true?

Who the fuck was that guy?.

Now you know what it feels like

I don't even want you back.

I don't miss what we had.

Could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived?

You didn't measure up in any measurе of a man

Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

Were you writing a book?

Were you a sleeper cell spy?

In fifty years will all this be declassified?

You'll confess why you did it and I'll say, "Good riddance".

It wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden.

I would've died for your sins, instead I just died inside.

You deserve prison, but you won't get time.

You said normal girls were "boring", but you were gone by the morning.

You kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing.

You are what you did.

I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive.

THE ALCHEMY

This happens once every few lifetimes.

These chemicals hit me like white wine.

What if I told you I'm back?

The hospital was a drag.

Worst sleep that I ever had.

I circled you on a map.

I haven't come around in so long.

I'm coming back so strong.

Ditch the clowns, get the crown.

Baby, I'm the one to be.

The sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me.

Honestly, who are we to fight thе alchemy?.

Hey, you, what if I told you we'rе cool?

That child's play back in school is forgiven under my rule.

I'm making a comeback to where I belong

We've been on a winning streak.

There was no chance trying to be the greatest in the league.

He just comes, running over to me.

CLARA BOW

All your life, did you know, you'd be picked like a rose?

I'm not trying to exaggerate, but I think I might die if it happened to me.

No one in my small town thought I'd see the lights of Manhattan.

This town is fake but you're the real thing.

Take the glory, give everything.

Promise to be dazzling.

The crowd goes wild at her fingertips.

No one in my small town thought I'd meet these suits in LA.

You're the real queen.

You're the new god we're worshipping.

Beauty is a beast that roars down on all fours demanding more.

Only when your girlish glow flickers just so.

It's hell on earth to be heavenly.

Them's the brakes, they don't come gently.

You've got edge, she never did.

The future's bright, dazzling.

#❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔦𝔳. ⊰ mail. prompts. #i have my thoughts about this album but one cannot deny these are good prompts!

[svyatoiy]

#❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔦𝔳. ⊰ ooc. emotionally unstable yeehaw. #writing has unfortunately been massively neglected lately due to these past few months being the most insane late winter/spring of my #adult life! among other things i've been a really good student; been much more social than usual; came out to my family (!!); #lost my apartment & then stressed my way through flat hunting in the midst of deadline season; started the moving process; been insanely #stressed about work; and lastly read a bunch of good literature!!! #entering exam season now but i'm spoiled this semester and thus my return is imminent! (imminent as in occurring in the morning!) #i've missed you all and hope you're doing well!

[svyatoiy]

sunlight courtesy of a parisian midday shone through the open windows of their rented flat, airy curtains flowing in the late september breeze; with weather so fine they ought to be outside, perusing mountreuil & its neighbouring suburbs, snacking on fruit from the discounted section in the park before stumbling upon yet another bakery they simply could not turn away from ─ but the previous night had siphoned her vitality, sliced her open with its too-expensive cocktails and vodka, and sipped her dry of all energy. what remained was a dull headache, alerting her of its presence at every movement, and a mysteriously bruised calf.

when ken returned, alina had been a breath away from slumber ─ jolted awake by the jangle of keys she’d leapt from the couch & intercepted him in the hallway, eager hands searching for the breakfast he’d gone out to buy. with her hunt cut short by his guiding hand she followed him to the kitchen, her intrigue and appetite equally piqued.

❛❛ we pay a stupid amount of euros for the labor, ken. ❜❜ she tutted, leaning over the kitchen island to spy as he maneuvered around the foreign kitchen. he did so in an effortless manner she would likely never be able to adopt no matter her dedicated attempts, but she enjoyed watching him nonetheless: perched on a wooden stool she felt like a child again, catapulted back to that messy orphanage kitchen, only when she reached out to steal half a slice of cheese no hand slapped hers away. instead there was only a knowing smirk, or perhaps a fond roll of warm eyes. ❛❛ but if you’re offering to cook, I accept. ❜❜

silence dawned upon the kitchen as she began to eat, save for the complimentary moan after her first bite ─ even a fancy cheese toastie he nailed. ❛❛ if history doesn’t work out, you could be a chef. ❜❜

finished with her half of the meal, she slid the plate back to him. it came with a soft command: ❛❛ now it's your turn. ❜❜ while he ate, alina took care of the cleaning portion of cooking; soap suds filled the basin as she scrubbed the dirty pan. ❛❛ what do you wanna do today? should we be traditional tourists, or should we try to pass as proper parisians? ❜❜

🍳 starters in the kitchen, alina starkova, svyatoiy.

along the roads of montreuil, the air crisp and the crowds a softer hum than back home, the crinkle of paper bags tucked beneath his arm was a beacon: upon entry of their rented flat, it summoned her presence in under thirty seconds flat. by the time he'd tucked away the jangle of keys, she'd attacked him up front; hands diving into coat pockets, into paper bags, stealing his baseball cap. but this time, she would come up disappointed, and find no ready-made delights in store. gently catching her wrist, he kicked off his boots and guided her inside, to the poor excuse of a kitchen (that their student budget would suffer for) and got to work.

starting with his loot, he unpacked everything he had gotten, an put himself to focus. she watched, curious-eyed, at what surprise he had in store for her today.

           ❛ don't pay a stupid amount of euros for this, ❜ he said to her, hand gestures abound. ❛ when we can make it ourselves. look, it'll even taste better. ❜ dutifully, he got the bread, and he got the fresh honey and the ham, the cheese, and the fried egg on top of the croque the way she liked it best, because her habits and few comforts had not changed much since she was a child. ❛ don't fuss me, alya, ❜ but his voice had softened. dusting the flour bits off his hands, kenneth slid the plate towards her where she'd seated herself by the kitchen island. ❛ just eat. ❜

#daylighter #❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔳. ⊰ people don’t expect lip from a scrawny thing like me. #him making her a childhood comfort food... oh he gets her so well 🥲

[svyatoiy]

tentatively pushes my remade multimuse onto you all! hehe

#muse list is not finished yet and i have to get some uni work done first but i'll be hanging out there this evening!!

[svyatoiy]

statistical character personality test.

take the linked quiz from the perspective of your character, then select 5-10 results from the complete matches list that you feel resonate with your character the most.

marie kreutz, the bourne identity: 91%

lilo pelekai, lilo & stitch: 86%

abbi abrams, broad city: 86%

christian, moulin rouge: 85%

riley blue, sense8: 84%

amélie poulain, amélie: 83%

anna, frozen: 83%

juliana crain, the man in the high castle: 82%

peeta mellark, the hunger games: 78%

daisy johnson, aos: 78%

tagged: stolen from @sheikage ✨ tagging: everyone hehe

#❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔦. ⊰ notes. condemned to be a saint or a monster: unable to be the one‚ unwilling to be the other. #alina herself was in the top 3 of course with a whooping 90% !! #had not thought about the riley blue and juliana crain similarities until now but now that i have been made aware... ouch

[svyatoiy]

you can’t lie to me. you just can’t.

❴  ❊ ˒  PROMPTS  ⊰   ACCEPTING!

their shared apartment bore no traces of the warfare battled out within it’s wooden walls. the coffee table littered with half-finished coffees and teas, and the dining table, which was covered in printed articles and notebooks and a long-since dead laptop, told the tale of any productive wednesday of first term.

but the girl, sitting perched in a windowsill with the sunlight streaming around her, looked every inch the battered soldier; her cheeks were flushed with agitation, dark brows furrowed as her mouth quivered in its attempt to settle the score.

❛❛ I’m not lying to you, I── ❜❜ voice faltering in a fluster, her words tripping over the stream of warring emotions. frustration rising to meet his, fear that @daylighter was slipping through her fingers like so many before him, worry triggered by the sight of the shadows staining the skin beneath his eyes, and anger; anger that he’d seen all of her, read all her pages, even the footnotes and the messily scribbled annotations in the margins, and yet he’d misunderstood her. ( if he couldn’t see her, who could? )

❛❛ you’re twisting my words! all I meant was ... ❜❜ a stray tear, from her burgeoning sadness or the simmering fury, alina wasn’t sure though it didn’t matter for down her cheek and neck it trickled, her mind too occupied with denying his accusations to wipe away the proof of her weeping heart. ❛❛ you’re my family, ken, you know I love you! I only want what’s best for you── ❜❜ the sound of a mean chuckle stemming from the couch in the corner cut her off, and in her exasperation alina could do nothing but stare him down, her white flag stained beyond repair by his muddied boot and unfamiliarly cold gaze.

❛❛ what is it you want me to do then? do you want me to leave? ❜❜

#daylighter #❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔦𝔳. ⊰ mail. ic response. #❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔳. ⊰ people don’t expect lip from a scrawny thing like me. #don't look at me this was your idea!!!

[svyatoiy]

“I’m not afraid of getting killed. Are you?”

❴  ❊ ˒  PROMPTS  ⊰   ACCEPTING!

in another’s company, the sun summoner would have been feigning a constant shiver, stretched her fingers towards the campfire in desperate hopes of warming her frosty bones, burrowed into the thick wool scarf wrapped around her neck and complained to her companion of the poor timing of their journey. but in the company of wolfsmal, who now knew the truth hidden behind plain marya’s fragile frame, she sat relaxed before the fire. the warmth rising from the makeshift hearth accompanied the warmth of her inner light, lingering from the last time she summoned like friendly ghosts hidden away in every crevice of her being.

though the cold failed to render her its victim, alina could feel the days of travel wearing at her: sore shins, a blister blooming to life on her left heel, and weariness setting in earlier than usual, in due part to the fewer hours of peaceful slumber she got on the road as well as the lack of summoning. even now, with hours of wandering behind her and sleep on the horizon, she yearned for it, could feel the light spurring to life beneath the surface of her skin, waiting eagerly to be set free — for half a moment a spark of light flickered in the cupped palm of her hand, but as soon as it had come the sun was reigned back in, shoved into a locked chest deep within her. were it only her in the forest she might have chanced it, and let the light flow if only for a moment. but eivor was here too, sitting at her side in comfortable silence, and alina would not risk it for her.

A SUGGESTION TO RETIRE FOR THE EVENING WAITED WITH EAGER BREATH ON THE TIP OF HER TONGUE, BUT @notodin LEAPT FIRST. " I'M NOT AFRAID OF GETTING KILLED. ARE YOU? "

their hands entwined, she caressed the warm skin of eivor’s palm with her thumb, pondering the question in silence. death was not a stranger to the forgotten saint ─ war had followed her from birth like a sibling, dragging her parents first and then soon enough it stole her away to wage one. attempts at her life had been made, one even at her own hand, and though they had all failed she could remember feeling dead, once. there had been a moment in the remnants of the fallen fold, with a shadow bleeding out in her arms, the blood of a lover on her hands and her stag’s antler shattered at her collarbone, where it had felt as though there was nothing left for her, nothing but a wasteland of grief and loneliness & an insatiable void within. but with patience ( something of which she had never claimed ownership ) part of that pain had eroded away, the sharpness of it dulled like a knife used carelessly.

❛❛ no. I’m old, and I’ve seen much more than most. whenever my time comes, I won’t be afraid. ❜❜ unbidden like the kiss she’d once planted upon eivor’s unexpecting lips, words which mere months ago would have been lies but now rang true sprung from her mouth, eager to assure her consort: ❛❛ but I don’t want to be killed. there is life left in me yet. ❜❜

within her curiosity rose like the smoke from the fire, and she shifted on the log they shared to meet the other’s gaze head on. their hands, both of them now entwined, were pulled into her lap in eagerness. ❛❛ why ── ? did you see something? another vision? ❜❜

#notodin #❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔦𝔳. ⊰ mail. ic response. #❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔳. ⊰ between the ecstasy of sunflowers & the lips of an invisible demise‚ i dangle.

[svyatoiy]

You can kiss me again.

    ❴  ❊ ˒  PROMPTS  ⊰   ACCEPTING!

nighttime had met its slow death; day summoned its sun, and twilight turned to dawn as streaks of light painted the awakening sky a myriad of blues, pinks, and oranges. birds rose from their nests to sing the humans from their slumber, and the sun saint watched, phlegmatic as she wished for the morning to stall, for time to cease its passing.

it was only at the loss of her lover’s hand in hers that she turned from the sight of her rising sun, the stoic look upon her face melting into a doeful expression ─ they had been through this goodbye, the temporary farewell they were cursed to forever repeat, so many times before & yet the hours of separation tore at her still. a goddess in the presence of an equal, and this was where she felt the most human she had ever been or ever would be.

❛❛ are you leaving me already? ❜❜ came her voice, teasing in nature though the way she followed in her retreating steps indicated the sun saint’s reluctancy to part ways. alina grasped her hand again, their entwined fingers at once falling back into a familiarly braided pattern, and pulled her back into her orbit. their lips slotted together, parting and closing in perfect harmony. pulling away only to fill her lungs with a deep breath, their foreheads touching.

AGAINST ALINA'S OWN MOUTH ( WITH WHAT SHE HAD LEARNED WAS A TEASING TONE ) THE LUNAR EMPRESS WHISPERED AN INVITATION SHE COULD NOT REFUSE. " YOU CAN KISS ME AGAIN. "

a quick bout of laughter bubbled from her chest, mirth and sunlight bright in her gleaming gaze. ❛❛ when evening comes, I will kiss you again. ❜❜ these words were not merely a promise, but an oath ─ with the might of the celestial she would make sure no dusk nor dawn would ever come to pass without the sun & moon married in embrace. ❛❛ I beg you to believe me when I say── if I could, ❜❜ she chanced a final kiss, leaning in just in time to feel the ghost of her lover's lips against hers before the moon at last disappeared beyond the horizon. ❛❛ I would kiss you every hour. ❜❜ with the sun firmly hung in the sky the temperatures rose to a comfortable warmth, yet in the moon's absence the lone celestial shivered.

#godwitch #❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔦𝔳. ⊰ mail. ic response. #back on my celestial goddess yearning bs!

[svyatoiy]

thinking about alina and desire/greed ─ in the beginning all her desires and wants are of the most humane nature (a soft bed, good health, to see the world, to love and be loved). then after she takes the third amplifier (killing mal) those wants are filled by a desire for everything and nothing; there's just a bottomless pit where her stomach used to be which nothing will ever fill, yet she has to continue fighting the urge to swallow up everything in an attempt to sate that hunger/desire

#bardugo: alina was greedy so her powers were taken away :( #me: okay but what if ... #alina IS greedy and that greed could scorch the entire earth but the point is (and this is where she differs from the darkling) #she doesn't act on it!!!! she clings to her humanity!!! to her heart!!! #she's been hungry all her life. she can handle this hunger too.

[svyatoiy]

❛❛ what a shame. ❜❜ alina tutted, brows furrowed and gaze cast aside in faux disappointment and disgust. ❛❛ I only fraternize with those of the highest education. clearly you fall short there, I'm afraid── ❜❜

at the sight of his stricken face a burst of laughter had cut her teasing short, a waterfall of giggles interspersed among mumbled comments along the lines of we can't be friends anymore & ana kuya would nearly blush at the thought of her besting the royal tutors.

❛❛ yes, of course she would. ❜❜ far be it from the saint to agree with the monster, but she did it this time with a breathy chuckle. a sweeter, more soft-hearted friend might have let the teasing rest with the comforting pressure of nikolai's head upon her shoulder, but alina would not. something so mundane as proximity did not alter their interactions. the war had scrubbed them raw, all the way down to their bones, & in the aftermath they had rebuilt themselves in the other's presence. by his side any genuine attempt at pretense would be futile: with her nikolai would be able to see through it all. ❛❛ but if she were really smart, she would bet on you. if only to give your confidence a little knock, and take you down a peg or two. ❜❜

as the waves rolled against the hull of the boat & silence settled comfortably between them, alina shifted in place, her head tilting until she could feel the tickle of his blonde locks against her jaw. she was not leaning on nikolai, but resting against him.

❛❛ did I ever apologize? ❜❜ like the storm clouds rolling in on the far horizon, droplets of melancholia had begun to threaten her sunny disposition. the smile which had curled her lips before had not disappeared in some abrupt change of mood; while her eyes remained alit with that same mirth the smile had simply melted away in contentment, but now even the glimmer in her gaze had faded. ❛❛ for leaving after the war? it was selfish, but I couldn't stay. I'm sorry you didn't have that choice. ❜❜

sun saint and soldier, girl from the orphanage and a boy as good as orphaned among royalty. while the differences between their upbringings could not have been more apparent when they met, it is war and its aftermath that have flattened the playing field into an equal space for both of them to exist all in a world that would have happily gotten rid of them. ( one a deity, the other a monster. ) it is under hidden flags that they come together again and the friends return to the very nature they have forged together amidst the most painful time of their lives, this thread woven between them that couldn't be severed by time nor by distance. when alina speaks of him like a compass pointing towards a hopeful disposition, she can't quite see how much of the same she has done for him. she has given him hope, and shelter, and a much-needed sliver of normalcy amidst this shredded world, amidst the shredded circles created by the family that never has been his own.

" you flatter my tutors too much. the library of a prince did not include dictionaries with such unbecoming words. i have you know all i know is how to delight, " he returns the joke, volleyed back with a stretched-out grin as far as he could show her. ( not too many bystanders around to see the tainted black lining his mouth, the sharpness of his teeth, or how both are as gruesome as the pieces of antlers hidden away under his friend's coat. ) turning around to lean with his back against the railing, he gives the opposite horizon a thoughtful look. " well, she hated us both the moment she met us, and we managed to soften her considerably under our great efforts to be the smartest person in the room against her. " leaning down until he can rest his head on alina's shoulder, he does a show of great thinking for both of their sake. " she'd bet on you, of course. after she made sure either of us might have drowned out of our own haste and stupidity, for the sake of the people's entertainment. and could we blame her? no, a little amusement is good for the soul. "

#❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔳. ⊰ between the ecstasy of sunflowers & the lips of an invisible demise‚ i dangle. #listmny #i love them so much!!!!!! i wish they could be happy and make jokes for the rest of their lives!!! #but i'm sorry about her she brings a certain depressing vibe to the function that most people don't really like :/

[svyatoiy]

thinking about alina and identity, and how she doesn't have any until she realises she's grisha. before that she's only the sick girl at the orphanage or mal's shadow. i'm not saying she isn't prescribed an identity after (she is! sun summoner, sankta alina, the saviour, the list goes on) but it is also the first time she ever gets to be alina as an individual (i.e. with genya, even if that relationship begins under false pretenses)

#despite it all alina feels (tentatively) at home in the little palace!!!! even though she is singular she is still one of many! #(before she was neither singular nor a part of anything) #pressures and expectations aside being grisha means being (fully) alina. before/without her abilities she is not a full individual. #she's a shell/a body without a heart/etc etc.

[svyatoiy]

the rainbow field of flora enveloped them in its mundane might, the coastal breeze tickling at their stems as the two campers weaved their way past and through the growth. just as vibrant as the flowers around them, or perhaps even more so, lucy gray looked at home amongst the kaleidoscope of colours. as she moved, the wind jostling the petals & leaves made it appear as if the flowers bent and shifted to make room for her presence. such ideas of belonging did not pass on to alina, who imagined the ivory waterfall cascading down her back would evoke thoughts of snowy landscapes rather than the vibrancy of springtime.

she thinks of her own colors: the whites of her hair, the gold of her father's sun. cold and warmth, all wrapped up in a girl's lone figure. she does not think of what grows in the absence of light, of the shadows which still bite at her heels & keep her company during the night.

❛❛ sure it's not a snake you dropped in my hair? ❜❜ words meant only to tease are followed by the raise of a hand, fingers tentatively tracing the petals of the flower tucked behind her ear. it is all an act of pretense & lucy gray must know it, yet alina still forces a relieved sigh at the confirmation of the lack of a serpent slithering in her hair. now that the game has been finished, a true and genuine smile blooms in the corner of her mouth. it is her turn now to peruse the field of flowers for a gift for the muse's daughter. a pink carnation catches her eye, and when alina tucks it behind lucy gray's ear she finds it compliments her well. ❛❛ you look nice too. with the pink, I mean ── ! it suits you. ❜❜ like spilled watercolours the colour has spread to her cheeks, freckles flushed in what can only be a feeling of embarrassment she will never admit to. a changing of the subject is the only thing that will cool the heat of her cheeks, so she returns to lucy gray's story. ❛❛ are you free of it then? or is the snake still haunting you? ❜❜

          HERE,   THEY WERE ALL OLD,   YOUNG THINGS.   whether reared in the field of strawberries or upon the back of winged steads.   not many of them were able to live past their prime saddled with the sins of their forefathers   (   it is minuscule compared to the damage they wrought to each other   )   inflicting the past upon the future.   in thick of the flower patches the world seems full of possibility.   humming as she goes with the celestial daughter in her wake.   even amongst godly children,   lucy gray was a colorful bird of a girl.   myth in motion; what else could one expect from the offspring of a muse?   

  ��      ❛   funny how true colors shine in darkness and in secrecy.   ❜   the nonchalance of poetry spills from her lips,   raw and ready to be put to pen but it lingers between them.   an unfinished work that could use accompaniment.   she plucks a bundle of calendula in all its sunset brightness.   setting a petal against her tongue before turning.   ❛   thinkin' you're reaching for a flower but really it's the snake.   ❜   some of the unspoken unfolds between them yet the songstress simply mulls the thought further.   leaning in she sets the stem in the thick of star-kissed hair.   a solar flare amid an ivory sea   ━   the warmth is almost palpable.   ❛   that's a good color on you.   ❜  

🪶   LYRIC STARTER CALL    { * @svyatoiy !

#charmsong #❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔳. ⊰ burning with the shame of not belonging. #sorry about her she gets all weird around pretty girls it's really strange and unexplainable :/ #no but this is perfect they both deserve to complain about their exes in detail to someone who understands <3

[svyatoiy]

thinking about this moment once again and going insane

#bark bark woof woof and all that #❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔦𝔳. ⊰ ooc. emotionally unstable yeehaw.