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Dirty Girls Nursery
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Yoooo
check out the little chunko boy in the stroller 馃お nahhhh - it's me with my dad and sister Cerisse @ The Easter Show in Greenlane/Auckland
that outfit is on brand 馃榿 for the me that stands before everyone in this world today teehee!
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in an ideal world, I'd be packing a bag and making my way to Melbourne - but I'm not
instead I am having a beer in the silence of my life. I know that in my own time I will be in the energy of your vessel - my time, my way
to celebrate your light in my life and this crazy energy we shared before you transitioned - should legit remain in this dynamic
crazy is an understatement because in our own way the unspoken love between us was loud here and only here
I don't ache as hard or as often, as the year unravelled before me. I do cherish your family and they have no idea who I am - the others you left behind are large in number but don't even scratch the surface of the void you leave in your family
I can only hope that they are enveloped in everyone's energy for you as they continue to move forward, finding pieces of your heart in all the love being directed towards them as your unveiling approaches
eternal apologies for my physical absence at this occasion but my spirit shines in the divine light that I can only present in the chosen few that will be wearing the tees I created in your honour
I did try to reach out to a couple of the guys to see who will be making the trip and it was all up in the air - seriously do hope they turn up for you
I have an early zoom call locked in for an online blaze with Jack who did reach out to last week hoping I'd say yes
my washing machine is beeping so it's back to my domesticities lolz
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today I had to be honest with a co-worker that was dishonest in how she conducted herself - my first documented chat
I absolutely hated it, this isn't how I work and I'm disappointed AF
so to make myself feel better, I got myself a pair of the Nocta hot stepper 2s in orange 馃槀
#yaaayeme!
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this isn't gonna make sense to anyone but I'm gonna write this here for myself - it's like this world and my interpretation of your energy around me, is actually insane
since you transitioned the streetlight outside my living room windows would randomly start flickering or turn off and on. I always took that as your energy in my space and for almost the entire year it gave me comfort, especially with the hours I am wired to - tbh this sounds so weird when I read it back
today as I got up for work tho there was orange lights flashing and I thought it was weird and went to check it out - turns out to be maintenance guys and they've fixed the street light 馃ス
I can only imagine the ways in which I will feel you around me in the days ahead and you really got me tripping without substances 馃榿
there's nobody I can tell anyway so that is how I end up here - the ONLY place I have ever been able to fully express myself when it comes to you is here
354 days has gone by so fast, and it still sux to acknowledge your transition 馃槱
about to smash some eggs on toast and a beer cos I honestly haven't done any grocery shopping yet and I cbf'd waiting for something in the freezer to thaw so... cheers me 馃ゴ
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tried to really be out on a Saturday night lolz - was feeling my age 馃槄
High tea was hands down the highlight of the night!
I could feel myself getting anxious at first but I well and truly stepped outside of my comfort zone
toward the end of the night I could feel my own deep heartbreak coming to the surface and knew it was time to go home
I thought that by celebrating love it would be a way to honour my own love for you - I don't really see a wedding in my own future and it gets a little maddening as the time continues to pass
I will continue to try loving this world without you in it
have had a few mutuals reach out as we near your first heavenly anniversary - so I can safely say that I'm not the only one that misses you x
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