#[editing to add that there is somewhat graphic description of self harm below. i'm no judge of how graphic or otherwise something is but i

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

i remember once seeing an ad for scar reducing creams and ended up deciding no that's not reasonable to buy if it's literally self inflicted. but because of this now being in a visible place (can probably hide until summer, but after it's too warm to wear long sleeves... oh gosh. :< ) I feel like I probably should do research on how to minimise scarring at least for visible cuts for the sake of others.

and maybe invest in a nice light summer cardigan :) you know those pretty lacy ones, I bet I could pull that off, and I've wanted one for ages so this might be my motivation :)

....I should also do research on how to hide them before they've healed, because I've got a simulation next Tuesday. If necessary I talk to the person running the sim and get permission to be in long sleeves for that

oh gosh why did I forget. I'll have to be in short sleeves for placement. oh gosh oh gosh I am an idiot

#[editing to add that there is somewhat graphic description of self harm below. i'm no judge of how graphic or otherwise something is but i #kinda described it a bit ig] #I might invest in some good coverage makeup of some kind idk. if i can find something like that that will hide the scarring. but like. it's #stretching halfway along my forearm and it will all scar #tmi sorry #looks nasty already but at least it's stopped bleeding #shoutout to the knife sharpener i could Not use at the time so it wasn't as deep as it would've been #anyway #such is life #tw sh #puddleglum hours #personal #the first time i harmed was May last year. i only actually seriously started harming during february this year and all this time i have #worked SO HARD on making sure i DON'T harm in a visible place #and then! whaddaya know! it got too much! #honestly tho i'd nearly talked myself down it was rlly weird #bc it was like i just. blanked for a second and became aware of it having happened a second later it was weird #the muscles feel really weird now tho idk why #not damaged or i don't think so anyway and yknow. didn't need stitches or anything #don't know how deep they are