#tmi sorry

[pupb4rks]

TMI about masturbation (mine, like five minutes ago)

As much as I’ve wanted to cry on someone’s dick I’ve never actually cried while masturbating until today. The cat (derogatory) has officially corrupted me. I don’t normally squirm around that much and I’m not usually super loud, but I got sick of my own moans and whimpers, I BARKED I FUCKING BARKED. anyway. I normally wouldn’t post this especially since the goddamn cat will probably see it, but I have nobody to tell so, (◇´Д｀ﾟ+｡:.ﾟＳＯＲＲＹﾟ.:｡+ﾟ´Д ｀◇)

#pupbarks #ftm puppy #puppy posting #tmi sorry

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I’m kind of working through some tokophobia rn and honestly bearing children for Roman!König would fix it so fast. I need to give this man the cutest, chunkiest baby girls ever known to man. He deserves chubby baby daughters!!!! The domestic fantasy of him hunting for our little family while I clean and care for our daughters in the cottage is just perfect. I teach them to gather berries and clams and how to properly honor the Mother

Yes, look, I would die if I heard I was pregnant, any scenario with kids would be the end of days for me. But if König knocked on the door and said he wants to breed and raise a family with me I'd spread my legs so fast, no questions asked

#tmi sorry #answered #“König deserves chubby baby daughters” could be a protest banner btw #i'd march for this man's happiness

[xsunburstx]

i’ve been such a mess this week. i’m constantly wet and needy no matter how many times I make myself cum. and this morning i woke up extremely wet. help 🥺🥲

#tmi sorry #what is going on #i need him #me #mine #<3

[jmdbjk]

Jimin reminded me of something...

... he reminded me why he's my bias.

@j.m on Instagram.

And Namjoonie with the artsy fartsy appreciation on his IG stories:

#men with purses #jimin #namjoon #rm #4 million pics of tae #jungkookie in crop tops #and this pic of jimin with his legs open makes me wanna #tmi sorry #scream thats what i was gonna say... #yeah... scream

[egberts]

so many first experiences today 😵‍💫

first ultrasound (on my arm to find a vein)

first morphine

first CT scan

#good news tho its not my pancreas #bad news is we still dont know whats causing my intense left side abdominal pain & excessive belching #tmi sorry #last time i mentioned my symptoms people with similar experiences reassured me tho 👉👈 so can yall do that again

[clits-and-clips]

I think this is the longest i have gone without cumming in my entire adult life like wtf it has to be affecting my mental state lmao

#txt #can never remember when to use affect and effect #effect is the afterfact #the #effect that is done???? #affect is like im affecting you with my bs #idk smth like that #anyway #tmi sorry

[doonarose]

Hello fam,

Here's some TMI that I've spent the entire day spiraling over on the reddit chat but may as well therapize myself here too. Wait is therapize a real word... I did not know that.

Anyway - teaching week from absolute hell. Hours and hours and hours of on my feet labs and workshops. And then getting myself in a position where I had to mark prac write ups - 88 of them - in about 48 hours. Reckon it took me about 16 hours and it's mind numbing exasperating work because this is their first one - a quarter of them failed, some of them wrote the most incoherent bullshit...

That means my brain has been frazzled and fried since sometime Tuesday and by some oversight I neglected to put in my calendar that my parents were dropping their dog off at my house today to mind for a week. Probably because it's no big deal and not something I really need in my calendar.

Except I completely forgot. 100% out of my brain, gone, no idea it was happening until I got a text at 10.30 saying the dog had been dropped off and they were on their way to their airbnb where they've got a few nights away or whatever.

Now, worth noting, they did need to go into the house to drop the dog off, because this is the dog that, famously, escaped this same house a bit over a year ago, got smacked by a truck, was 50/50 on surviving for a long while, and cost them $6k to fix... so yeah, of course let yourselves in, dump the dog and lock the doggy door.

So a few things to know:

I live in a messy house at the best of times. Dishes in the sink, last night's plates still on the table, a bag of used tissues next to me on the couch, socks on the floor, etc. Like it's not gross rotting food or anything, but it's not the standard I like to show my parents (or anyone else). So that's a bit embarrassing.

Last night, because I pulled a 12 hour day of admin and prac marking, I fell into the too-often-fallen-into habit of having a decent slosh of vodka over ice with soda as soon as I got home at 8pm to turn my brain off so I could sleep before midnight. I left the half empty bottle of vodka on the table in the living room.

Also when I got home last night I took my bra off in the living room and left it draped across a chair.

Also, in a particularly lazy moment, I had left the eski full of water from almost two weeks ago sitting in the same spot in my kitchen which, yeah, okay, gross of me, but I intended to clean it up before anyone fucking saw it.

And you're probably reading this and thinking that it really isn't that bad so here's the real main source of mortification. Because I live alone and because no one would ever just drop in and because I've been busy and lazy and whatever. I also left my bright magenta sex toy besides the bathroom sink this morning. Where it had been since the morning before. Because that's a fine, logical place to leave it. And when I got the text I immediately remembered that because I saw it this morning when I was getting ready to go into work at 7.30 for an 8am zoom to the US, and kind of vaguely thought 'I should put that away' and then didn't. And didn't close the door to the bathroom because i only do that on hot days and it's been mild, finally, the last few days. And then when I got that text I tried to convince myself that my parents would have no reason to go into my bathroom, even though they would have obviously gone in the house and seen the above bad shit. And then I tried to convince myself that even if they had seen it, we would never speak of it and I would never know.

Anyway, I got home a half hour ago and my toilet door is fully closed, it's next to the bathroom door that remained fully open, magenta fucking rabbit in full view. I never, ever fully close the toilet door because it jams.

So anyway... may never wank again. Will, at some point, report on how I handle my face and soul next time I have to speak/see my parents.

If I die tonight, my COD will be mortification.

#doonas rambling #tmi sorry #sex toys for tw #i am drinking a lot tonight #and then probably forcing myself to have a wank and recover from this #also i have just not remembered that the entire reason the toy was out was from the other morning when i had legit #the worst most unsatisfying wank of my life #like honestly would have preferred to watch tiktok instead #or just an extra bit of sleep #it was so shit #because exhausted and in the morning so time pressure #anyway sorry dash #good bye some of you i understand why you need to leave

[nat-seal-well]

I need to add more tank tops to my wardrobe how else will I be able to show off all of my tattoos

#tmi sorry #but #fun fact: I’m super self-conscious #not about my body shape or my body hair #but I have dark patches of skin in creases and I have never been able to get rid of them no matter how hard I try 😭 #it’s the only thing keeping me back from wearing tank tops outside of the house #my neck my inner thighs my underarms #nothing fixes it

[j4r-of-flies]

suffering rn

#to pee while bricked is the worst thing ever #hurts #ow #tmi sorry #but also not sorry #you need to know everything ab my life

[soldier-poet-king]

Possibly??? Mild food poisoning??? Or else I suddenly developed lactose intolerance overnight??? And if I call in sick the day after a stat holiday it looks shady like I'm deliberately extending my long weekend (after already legitimately taking Friday off to do that!) + I don't have paid sick leave + I might miss out on SH pay

BUT it's like. Not so awful I can't work. I really just don't wanna be y'know. Stuck in traffic. Using a shared washroom at work. At the mercy of my stomach when not at home. Etc. I'll be fine in 24 hrs almost certainly.

I'm debating just emailing my boss and offering to work on [task] from home since it's a project I CAN technically do from home, though I don't get the luxury or flexibility of hybrid work like everyone else in the office since my boss Doesn't Like It (despite she herself WFH several days a month!!!), and so I schlep my sorry ass across the city everyday unnecessarily

I'm just???? Ugh????

#franposting #tmi sorry #probably maybe??? #part of my brain is like you are just exaggerating a stomache ache bc you dont wanna go to work tmrw #which true. i dont wanna go to work tmrw. i NEVER wanna go to wrk tmrw #i wanna sleep and play bg3 forever #however. i like. AM offering to do stuff from home. i will write that rfp. i can probably get at least half #possibly more than half #done tmrw #its not like id be sitring there 8-4 (my work hrs) playing bg3 #sitting* #i would wait til 4pm to open steam #its just. agh. my stomach is unwell and normally it is!!! not like this!! #i get acid reflux all the time but not whatever the fuck this is #if this is how lactose intolerant ppl live i would just die. this is fuckin awful

[leasagna-lea]

POV: Loid made you bladder kidney rinsing tea to help with your UTI

#this is a joke #i do have a UTI rn tho #when you go on testosterone and the only thing you get is unquenchable hunger and a UTI #why me #help #i need to pee so bad but nothing is coming out #tmi sorry #spy x family #sxf #spy x family anime #loid forger #hrt problems

[allieisacrybaby]

i’m putting this under a read more because it’s a little tmi lmao

HAVE YALL EVER HAD PRE-PERIOD CRAMPS?! like i’m cramping up so bad but there’s no blood?!?! this has never happened to me before???? hello someone please explain?? i’m mad because that also means im gonna be in pain longer😭 oh how i love being a woman😩

#not gvf #tw: periods #personal #tmi sorry #tmi tag

[enhaheeseung]

This has been on my mind for so long so I thought I’d share with y’all and just look at the placement of his hands💀

#enhypen heeseung #enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #i just want to sit on it so bad😩 #just the thought of him makes me so wet🤭 #tmi sorry #my inner hoe popped out for a min

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

i remember once seeing an ad for scar reducing creams and ended up deciding no that's not reasonable to buy if it's literally self inflicted. but because of this now being in a visible place (can probably hide until summer, but after it's too warm to wear long sleeves... oh gosh. :< ) I feel like I probably should do research on how to minimise scarring at least for visible cuts for the sake of others.

and maybe invest in a nice light summer cardigan :) you know those pretty lacy ones, I bet I could pull that off, and I've wanted one for ages so this might be my motivation :)

....I should also do research on how to hide them before they've healed, because I've got a simulation next Tuesday. If necessary I talk to the person running the sim and get permission to be in long sleeves for that

oh gosh why did I forget. I'll have to be in short sleeves for placement. oh gosh oh gosh I am an idiot

#[editing to add that there is somewhat graphic description of self harm below. i'm no judge of how graphic or otherwise something is but i #kinda described it a bit ig] #I might invest in some good coverage makeup of some kind idk. if i can find something like that that will hide the scarring. but like. it's #stretching halfway along my forearm and it will all scar #tmi sorry #looks nasty already but at least it's stopped bleeding #shoutout to the knife sharpener i could Not use at the time so it wasn't as deep as it would've been #anyway #such is life #tw sh #puddleglum hours #personal #the first time i harmed was May last year. i only actually seriously started harming during february this year and all this time i have #worked SO HARD on making sure i DON'T harm in a visible place #and then! whaddaya know! it got too much! #honestly tho i'd nearly talked myself down it was rlly weird #bc it was like i just. blanked for a second and became aware of it having happened a second later it was weird #the muscles feel really weird now tho idk why #not damaged or i don't think so anyway and yknow. didn't need stitches or anything #don't know how deep they are

[shatnerihardlyknowher]

The time I deliberately cockblocked my dad by blasting The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins, a storytime;

TMI, but here's a funny story time

My dad and his new girlfriend keep having infuriatingly loud sex and honestly it's really pissing me off rn....so I decided to be the evil little bitch I am.

Let me set the scene, I'm in my room, drawing the Beatles and listening to music with my new record player. It's a very calm, peaceful night. I've lit a candle, my cats sleeping next to my leg, a lamp is dimly lighting the room, it's overall very beautiful. Suddenly, I start to hear the bed in the room right next to me shifting around. Motherfucker. I am FILLED with rage. THIS SHIT HAS BEEN HAPPENING FOR MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!

So, being the petty little bitch I am, I set my record player to bluetooth, connect, and load up Leonard Nimoy's "The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins", because that's the song that would get you the LEAST pussy, unfortunately. I turn my player ALL the way up. Still not loud enough, so my bitch ass turns my phone up. Almost full goddamn volume. BLASTING this shit. Pretty sure those a mile out could hear.

So they obviously noticed and he comes in, disturbs my cat, and tells me to turn it down....fortunately I'm a decent person and I do it. It was great while it lasted.

#leonard nimoy #the ballad of bilbo baggins #storytime #tmi sorry

[chillasscactus]

science side of tumblr explain why I’m still not shitting after drinking hot chocolate AND coffee!!!!!

#tmi sorry