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blsci-nerd · 4 months

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Rebel Moon rambling thoughts...

Sweet, it's a new scifi movie! And with Bae Doona! This is going to be GREAT!

Ok, ok, starting out strong with muscle arms and hammerhead horses. (Note to self: look up behind the scenes to see how they did this).

Starting to notice an angle trend on our FL. Why is she only shot from the left? What the hell, now this is going to bother me for the rest of the show.

Seriously, ALL. LEFT. SIDE. We could make a drinking game about the times Kora's shot from the right and you would still be sober by the end. Anyways, moving on...

I see we have Space Nazis. And the lead dude has red guards.

Ah, now father figure is handing Kora a weapon he has saved for her this whole time! It's your father's lightsaber.

And now to Mos Eisley Providence! Hey, it's a saloon. Who would've thought? You know, you're going to need a pilot.

But first! My friend doesn't like you...I don't like you, either! Pew pew pew.

Ah, they made it to the ship. Would've lost money betting on a "piece of junk" quip.

Oh...I see Noble gets hooked up to tubes and stuff and is all scarred up underneath his clothes.

Aaaaand now they are on a desert planet and need to free a slave by making a bet involving riding a podracer bennu. Nice.

Alright, they've got space Tarzan! On to the next hero (side note: isn't it chilly in space? Give the man a sweater)

OMG BAE DOONA!!!!!! The reason I am here!!!!! She's using her light sabers light sabers to take down the Borg Queen and I'm not even mad about it. Her gat is *chef's kiss*

Methinks magic Princess Leia Rey Issa is not dead.

What, Djimon Hounsou? Yes, please! For a man hell-bent on drinking himself to death, he seems to have kept up with his gym routine. Well, hose him down and get him on the ship!

Alright, on to King Levitica. Ooooh, cute wordplay 'cause, you know, everything on the planet is levitating. Also nice to see that he has left the Trade Federation for more honorable pursuits.

Oh my gosh, it's the space Kravitz's! NGL, they look pretty badass. Digging the blue forehead makeup they have going on. Glad to see Mad Max extras getting new gigs.

Oooops, bye King Levitica. How did Sharaan last 10,000 years?

Surprise! Blondie is a traitor.

Oof, was NOT expecting that last minute head dodge/gut blast from bad-guy gunman! It's around the 1:48 mark. Awarding "Best Clip of the Movie" (after the slo-mo). And is that it for Cyborg Kravitz? We really aren't seeing him again? Say it ain't so.

Enough about them. Back to Vader and Luke Kora and Noble fighting on a gantry floating buoy.

Yay, Noble is dead! Oh, wait...SHUT UP, they've sent a ship to look for him? And there he is? NOT dead, but almost dead? NO WAY!!!! And now they're hooking him up to hoses and stuff? And he has a MASTER???

*sigh*

I'm done. Will I watch Part II? Of course. Because Bae Doona.

#rebel moon #bae doona

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inkingtwice · 3 years

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Another beautiful moment of character development--all played out in a ~15-minute stretch, but with the weight of the entire season behind it, as per usual in this show. <3

If, as I babbled last week, the endpoint of a character's arc is facing and moving beyond their flaws/fears, this is Si-mok's for season 2, in my opinion. There are other big moments that are contenders, but this feels the most concrete to me. He and Yeo-jin spent the season easing back into a partnership that has been on pause for two years, learning that they've both changed and adjusting to those changes-- and Si-mok has been the one reaching out (in his own way) for a lot of that process.

A lot of that is because Yeo-jin is under much more pressure in season 2, and she's much more susceptible to that pressure than Si-mok, who doesn't do politics or favors and doesn't have much experience with personal attachments.

On my first watch of S2 I read the frequent observations by their bosses that they spend a lot of time together mostly as a sort of in-joke nod to kdrama romance conventions. I still think that's part of it, but a second watch suggests it was all serving this arc, because a guy who doesn't do personal attachments doesn't have to worry about them being used as leverage against him. Si-mok's surprise when Yeo-jin is called to Chief Woo's office is genuine: he expected to take the fall for this on his own, because there's never been anybody he got close enough to that they could be used.

Lee Soo-yeon created his character from the notion that it's impossible to control a man who wants and fears nothing (source)--and that may have been the case in season 1, but I don't think we're meant to see it that way now. The moment above when Si-mok realizes it's their friendship more than their work that has put Yeo-jin in the crosshairs is, god, such a quiet and lovely piece of acting, with all of Cho Seung-woo's considerable skill and subtlety informing it.

And then the next moment, where Si-mok departs from his usual approach and makes an emotional appeal to Choi Bit...nicely layered with logical and ethical argument, but I note that he has no answer when Bit calls him on it: they both know what he's really there for.

We've spent the season watching him ask for help, a notable difference from his lone-wolf approach in S1 and in the beginning of S2--but only ever for a case, and only when there was already a certain amount of trust established. (In other words, pretty much only from Kang Won-chul and Yeo-jin.) Here he's taking a risk I really can't see him taking at any point in the show before this moment. Choi Bit could do more than refuse: she could make things worse for both of them, and it would certainly be in her best interests to do so.

It would make more sense to step back and regroup, find a new angle or new evidence. Instead Si-mok pushes forward on the strength of his faith in Yeo-jin's ability to judge Choi Bit's character--and on his faith in his ability to judge her character. It's a decision based almost entirely on feeling. It feels like a threshold-crossing.

I'm really looking forward to seeing where they take it in the next season. (I refuse to believe we won't get another season.)

#tvn stranger #tvn secret forest #stranger 2 #secret forest 2 #hwang si mok #han yeo jin #choi bit #woo tae ha #cho seung woo #bae doona #meta #character arc #character development #rambly musings #kdrama #yes i could be writing #but instead i'm doing this

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rayveewrites · 3 years

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Rayvee

Rayvee I just realized

Rayvee I have brainrot

Yes. Join me in the brainrot.

#dw I'll get to your actual asks soon #probably after breakfast #because it's currently 7:30 on a Sunday where I am rn #and I'm not really ready to get up yet #bed too comf...doona snuggly...#ask #last player au #leoismybookcrush #Rayvee rambles

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doonarose · 4 months

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I understand everyone wants a redo of the angry-Crowley lapel-grab and threaten-up-against-a-wall-while-Aziraphale-stares-at-his-mouth from season 1 and I am so here for it but

What if it's Aziraphale doing the angry/frustrated lapel grab and Crowley has no lapels because he's conveniently in the bare minimum - turtleneck or thin cardigan and nothing else because he's been caught on his own, unguarded at home or the bookshop or wherever - so it's just handfuls of fabric and being backed into a wall. And Crowley, just as unterrified as Aziraphale was, just as mouth-fixated, but now having tasted him, leans forward to kiss him instinctively but Aziraphale pulls back, still firmly grasping him in such strong hands, captivating him between hips and wall, but drawing back to force Crowley to lock eyes and test him, to confirm they're doing this, both of them, willingly. And then dive in and kiss him, rough and open and desperate, right back into the wall, and hands twisting in the fabric, rucking it up so there's a sliver of skin at Crowley's waist and he's tilted back and up and into him.

#doonas rambling #i have had wine #good omens headcanons

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hleonaa · 2 years

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How come I only caught Zhou Xun starring in Cloud Atlas on my fifth rewatch

#ramble ramble #cloud atlas #zhou xun #it's my fav movie i've watched it so many times and i like zhou xun #but i never realized she was in it??? starring alongside bae doona #omg

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merryfortune · 2 years

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Coffee Before Work

This is a gift to @kitameguire! I’m your secret santa :D

Ship: Hireshipping | Akira/Ema

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Vrains

Word Count: 1,715

Rating: T

Warnings: No Warnings Apply

Tags: Domestic, Fluff, Established Relationship

Entirely against his will, on pure autopilot, when Akira heard the droning tones of his phone alarm go off, he roused and woke up. He forced himself to sit up in bed and he sighed. The morning was balmy and uncomfortable, there were bags under his eyes, his hair was a mess.

“Ema,” Akira announced in agony, “I don’t want to go to work today.”

Ema groaned as she stirred, waking up. She had done very well thus far to teach herself to ignore and sleep through Akira’s alarms but the dulcet tones of his strained voice pierced her like no machine could, apparently. She unfurled herself from how she had been sleeping like a lump under the doona and half removed her eye mask. She pushed it half up the side of her face, wearing it like a sash across her head, it dipped low slightly obscuring her vision and the elastic straps were getting knotty in her hair but Ema hardly minded as she cooed over Akira.

“Are you sick? Are you running a fever? Got a man-cold, you poor diddums?” Ema teased him as she started to proper herself up more. She was still bleary with sleep but even so, she reached around and up to Akira’s face.

He blushed slightly as Ema touched his forehead, her palm was warm against his skin and he smiled. As did Ema. He felt perfectly room temperature and lukewarm. Not a cause for concern, not a single one.

“Nope.” Ema concluded, most medically.

“I just don’t want to go to work. I’m too tired, it's too busy, I just want a break.” Akira murmured in misery.

Ema snickered, “You sound like an elementary schooler.”

“I know.” Akira agreed.

“But you're the goddamn CEO of SOL Technologies instead.” Ema pointed out.

“And it's because I’m the goddamn CEO of SOL Technologies that I have an incredibly tiring schedule. I need more hours in the day to get things done, mediate and barter, set schedules, approve or disprove ideas, it's bothersome. Then I need more hours in the night to sleep.” Akira complained, rambling.

Ema glanced at him, sympathetic, and pet Akira’s shoulder, “I don’t kick in my sleep, do I?” she asked, half-joking.

“No, no, you don’t.” Akira sweetly assured her. “I just can’t make up for lost sleep and rough nights from, well, even years ago.”

“Sounds to me like you need to get some coffee into you, with extra sugar and I bet there’s whipped cream in the fridge, too. Or chocolate spread. Maybe even both.” Ema smiled coquettishly.

Akira let out a nasally sigh, “Ema, that sounds far too…” He wanted to say that it sounded sugary. Or lacking in any nutritional value but Ema’s playful grin wore him down in the blink of an eye. He couldn’t remember the last time he had anything more lackadaisical than black coffee. “That sounds perfectly fine.”

“Good.” Ema chirped.

She leaned in and pecked Akira’s cheek. Akira smiled a small smile whilst Ema ungracefully exited the bed. She wrecked the doona and sheets, letting Akira stay in bed just that little bit longer. He watched as she left to go turn on the coffee maker and blinked tiredly to himself. He was starting to feel just a little bit better about the insurmountable work that never stopped in front of him.

He stayed sitting in bed for just a few minutes longer. When he heard the kettle boil, Akira got up. He was like a zombie, how he walked through the halls, all but dragging himself and all whilst trying to be quiet. It was still early, Aoi would be asleep right now, or so Akira hoped but either way, he didn’t want to disturb her no matter what she was doing: sleeping, scrolling social media, or if the heavens permitted it, studying.

Walking into the kitchen, the smell of coffee was vibrant. Vibrant and chocolaty. It wasn’t bad, however, even if it was an overwhelming aroma, it reminded Akira of the sort of art house cafes that Ema liked and visited on a regular basis; cafes that Akira had only been to once or twice, when he could fit it into his schedule. It was a heartening smell and one that Akira was looking forward to getting a taste of as Ema walked two mugs over to him as he stood by the central kitchen table.

Looking over her shoulder, back to where the coffee maker was stationed, was a third mug which had a note with instructions: for Aoi. The gesture was subtle, unmentioned as Ema loaded Akira up with his mug and was eager to tuck into her own but it meant the world to Akira anyway. He must have been really tired because it almost made him cry. He teared up as he accepted that warm mug of coffee from Ema.

“Enjoy.” she bade him.

“I will.” Akira replied.

They sat down together at the table and drank their respective coffees in quiet comfort. Akira cheered up immediately from the first sip and Ema’s heart, admittedly, skipped a beat seeing such genuine joy and vulnerability on his face. It mightn’t have erased the dreadful bags under his eyes but it certainly gave him some cheer.

Inside the mug of coffee, it was piled high with whipped cream from the can and smelled excruciatingly sweet. Akira wasn’t even sure if he could call it coffee since it smelt and from preliminary tastes, was a lot more like a vaguely mocha flavoured hot cocoa. This sort of caffeinated, chocolate concoction was absolutely not the sort of thing that Akira would ever make or even buy for himself but that made him relish all the more. The chocolate flavouring that Ema had added - either from malt or from the tub of spread - was immaculate.

“Thank you, Ema, I love it.” Akira told her with high praise entrenched in his voice.

“You're welcome.” Ema fondly replied, dreamily watching as Akira drank more of his coffee.

He looked and sounded as excited as a child with his warm drink in his hands. Even if he was trying to hide it but the twinkle in his eye betrayed him. His lips quivered with an endearing smile as he drank more of his coffee, trying hard to scull it down despite it being hot because he felt like he didn’t actually have time to enjoy it. Being a CEO never stopped for anyone and he didn’t want to be late to getting changed, late to getting work, and late to getting anything at all done.

But as the saying went, haste makes waste and Ema snickered to herself. Akira stared at her pointedly, bemused by her impish chuckling. He was completely oblivious to the smear of whipped cream on his upper lip.

“Y-You’ve got a li’l something on your face, right… here.” Ema said and she pointed on her own face where the mess was on Akira’s. He tried to reach for a serviette from the holder in the middle of the table, beside the salt and pepper shakers but Ema cut in first. “Let me help you.”

Ema was smooth as full cream milk as she leaned in closer to Akira so she could caress his face. She smiled softly, even as she felt the prickle of Akira’s unshaved stubble underneath her thumb as she took her sweet, indulgent time doing something about that smear of whipped cream on him. She licked her lips and then his.

She kissed him indolently. Akira didn’t mind one bit, how Ema kissed him, sloppy and open-mouthed as she tried to clean up that whipped cream. She was languid as she enjoyed the fluffy texture of the whipped cream and the softness of Akira’s lips.

As Ema took her overly sweet time, it gave him time to enjoy what was left of the chocolaty, mocha taste in his mouth and remind him, there was still some in his mug if he wanted to savour it. For that, he was grateful - and, quite possibly, for the umpteenth time this morning alone, reminded of how head over heels in love with Ema he was. He almost didn’t want the kiss to stop as Ema licked up the cream off him and then smacked her lips in satisfaction thereafter, a flirtatious sparkle in her eyes.

“Why don’t you take the whole day off if you're so tired? A sick day.” Ema suggested, non-serious but she tried to convey the opposite, just to tempt Akira.

He shook his head with responsibility, not lamentation, “I shouldn’t. I don’t truly want to take today off.” Akira admitted. “I’m not like you. I can’t come and go like a cat, lounging around, doing work at whatever time that pleases me.”

“Fair enough,” Ema shrugged placidly, “that’s what I admire about you. That work ethic.”

“Thank you, Ema.” Akira replied and he drank the last of his coffee, it had grown lukewarm but it hadn’t lost its sweetness or its caffeinated effect. “I should go and get ready for work. I’ll buy breakfast on my way into the office but I thoroughly enjoyed this, Ema.”

“Knock ‘em dead at work then, tiger.” Ema grinned and she playfully punched Akira’s shoulder. “I really liked this, too.”

“We should try and do it more then.” Akira said but his nose scrunched up, he knew that if anyone was going to rain check these sorts of dates, as mundane and not overly frivolous as they are, it was going to be him, not Ema.

But Ema didn’t mind, “Have a good day then.”

“You as well.” Akira bade her fondly. “And, if you could, could you let Aoi know I want the same for her.”

“Of course.” Ema replied. “And I’ll clean these up for you, too.”

“Thank you.” Akira said and he got up.

Ema smiled as she collected up Akira’s mug, placing it closer to her own, the handles clinking against each other. Akira was awkward but he left the kitchen, shuffling off still in his pajamas. He would come back in his suit and tie soon enough so he could go to work having had his chocolaty, whipped cream on top coffee, at home for once with his girlfriend.

#kitameguire #yugioh vrains #vrains #yugioh #hireshipping #zaizen akira #bessho ema #writing tag #merry christmas kita!! and a happy new year

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musicalmagic · 4 years

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Scared Of Being Swept Away (Self-Doubt)

Summary: You're a college student studying linguistics with Namjoon. He offers to help you study one day, but ends up scaring you when he attempts to get you to open up after you keep saying you're stupid and'll never get anything. Namjoon then ends up drunk on your doorstep after texting you, apologising and worried for you. The next day is when he finally realises why you're so afraid.

A/N: The first of my stories to reach past 1k into 2k territory (included the alternate title as well). I hope you don’t mind such a lengthy one-shot, I’m open to writing more for all the members for the stories I’ve written. I did really enjoy writing this, as you must’ve guessed! Hahaha, wow... This story was also the hardest for me to write so far...

*Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Reader

*Word Count: 2,136

*Genre: Fluff

*Warnings: None

“You’ve used the wrong word for this again, _____.” Namjoon calmly explained. You were both friends in college studying Linguistics. Currently, you two were going over syntaxes. Of course Namjoon picked everything up well (but you were sure it’s because of his motivation…), you however, kept getting mixed up between word grammar and operator grammar.

“I’m telling you Namjoon, I’ve got this,” you assured him.

He rolled his eyes, “Yes, sure. You got confused about reduction and mis-labelled it for word grammar. I believe that.”

“Come on! It isn’t my fault I can’t pick this up! I’m not smart like you Namjoon!” You grumbled, dramatically dropping your pen on the textbook in front of you. He picked up the rolling pen, twirling it absentmindedly, amusement traded in for worry.

“____, you are. You may not believe me, that’s okay. Smartness, intelligence, everyone’s different, you know?” He leaned back in the library chair, watching you as you bit your lip, “Your talent lies in other things, and besides,” He moves closer to you, pointing the pen to your heart, “It’s all about perspective. You believe you aren’t smart, that’s fine. But may I pose the question, if you thought you were all the time, what would you think then?”

“I would be ignorant into my own thinking, Namjoon,” you replied while crossing your arms. Namjoon placed the pen in front of him.

“True. But now, going back to saying you weren’t, if you recognise your own perspective, isn’t that intelligence? Plenty of people claim they are geniuses, high IQ, no? Personally, I believe that if you see your own faults, that’s how you can grow. If I say that I’m smart since I was born, that isn’t growth, is it?”

You sigh, Namjoon’s lectures always seemed to go over your head. You stared at him with a puzzled expression.

“Okay, maybe,” He sighed, “Sorry…Maybe we should just keep studying.”

“I should be the one apologising, sitting here making you study with me.”

Namjoon tapped the table all of the sudden, startling you.

“Let’s go,” he said quickly, gathering all of his things, and yours straight after, “We need a change of pace.”

You get tugged out of the college library, the brightness of the sun glaring against your eyes. Namjoon wraps his hand around yours softly, pulling you along to a nearby park.

“Namjoon—!” You start to say before he sat you down and hold your hands close to your heart.

Namjoon breathes deeply before whispering, “See here, that’s where I want you to focus. _____, how do you see yourself?”

“Stupid,” you replied softly.

“Let it go.” He stated.

“What?” You asked, confused.

Namjoon lets his own hands drop to his lap, “Let it go.” He said again.

“Let go of…?” Sighing gently, Namjoon holds your hands that were pressed against your chest, pulling them downwards to your lap, copying him from just before.

“What you think,” he replied simply, studying your expression, “You need to, _____.”

You shake your head, “I can’t, Joonie. I just can’t do that…”

“Are you afraid of it?”

“No…” He stared at you as you dug your nail into your palm. Nervously trembling.

“What’s stopping you?” You don’t look at him, preferring to stare at the tree behind Namjoon. Spring is gently touching the leaves, turning the colours to a nice, tranquil green.

“…____?” He tried again. You still don’t reply.

______

After your humiliating study session with Namjoon, you ended up sulking. Why did he have to do that?

He texted you after you left, after you went to go for a coffee. You were waiting in line to order when a message from him popped up.

[Namjoon: 4:23pm] I’m sorry for stressing you out.

You quickly typed out your reply.

[You: 4:23pm] Can you please not do that again?

[Namjoon: 4:28pm] I won’t ever again. That was wrong of me. I shouldn’t have overstepped like that.

Pleased, you ordered an Ice Americano instead of a latte (what you were originally going to order), as a small treat and headed back to your apartment. Namjoon didn’t text you again pretty much the entire day and early evening the next day. Until, you got a message from a drunk Namjoon, very rarely would Namjoon drink; so him drunk is a novelty despite being in college.

[Namjoon: 6:12pm] ____, don’t you now I hare tgar youew mean to urself?

[Namjoon: 6:12pm] I try ti help youuu but I feel likw it sometems goed nowhere…

You chuckled at his drunk writing, but a little teary at what he was saying (well, trying to say).

[You: 6:14pm] Namjoonie, please drink some water. You’re drunk right now…

[Namjoon: 6:14pm] Nooooo I don’t wanna :( :(

Ah, he sounds so needy…It’s weirdly cute, you thought to yourself as you typed out your reply. But, a knock from your apartment door broke your concentration. When you walked over to the front from the living room, you were surprised to find Namjoon standing there.

As you opened the door, Namjoon crushed you into a bear hug. You had to physically man-handle him inside as he clung to you. Shuffling him into the living room to sit down.

“Kim. Nam. Joon. What are you doing here?” You asked, a little crossed, but also a bit worried.

Namjoon looked like a sad puppy as he replied, a little slurred, “I wanted to see youuu.”

“But Namjoonie, you shouldn’t have come over drunk!”

“I-I felt really badddd…” He said sourly, pouting.

You sighed, rubbing your forehead. After a couple moments of him staring at you, you headed off into the kitchen to get a glass of water. You returned to Namjoon hugging your pillow, but it was looking close to popping.

“N-Namjo—” The pillow popped.

You stood there just as stunned as Namjoon was, and him being drunk, was slower to realise what just happened. He slowly looked up at you with puppy-dog eyes as he held the lifeless pillow, looking close to losing it.

Once again, you sighed. Albeit a little heavier than before.

That’s when the rant happened, “I’m sorry ____! I didn’t mean to pop the pillow I seriously didn’t want to do that I don’t know what you want me to do and I promise you this wasn’t meant to happen please don’t get mad I’ll pay you back,” you tried to interject, calling his name, but he just kept going, “I-I really didn’t want to pop it and I’m sorry for coming over like this I just felt so bad and worried and that I betrayed our friendship or that you wouldn’t like me anymore,” you stopped him by belting his name this time.

“Namjoonie!” He stopped immediately, mid-sentence and looking like he was caught chewing on his owner’s shoes, “Please stop rambling, okay?”

You gave him the glass of water, which you held through all that time, “Drink this and stay here. You obviously, somehow rode your bike here, but I doubt you’d be able to do that back home now.”

He sniffled, it was cute, but you were more worried about the man on your couch drunk and in a panicked state. You were more worried if he was okay.

“I’m sorry…” he softly pleaded. You patted his head as he drank the water, “No biggie, okay Namjoonie? Nothing to be so upset over. It’s just one pillow,” you cooed.

He had finished quickly, a slight blush on his cheeks as he handed the empty glass back to you. You smiled gently as you padded back into the kitchen. Coming out to see him settling in on the couch.

“Y-You--I make you act like a mother… I never mean to,” Namjoon mumbled, words slurring together, as he adjusted the unhappy popped pillow. You only rolled your eyes, slipping out the popped pillow for a fresh one and drabbing over a doona on him that rested atop a table up against the couch.

“I know, I know. But hey, you help me more than enough too. You respect me, I respect you. It’s mutual Namjoonie,” you reply.

He smiled, dimples and all, “You sounded like me!” You chuckled, clicking off the light as you exited into the hallway.

“Sleep tight.”

______

Namjoon had groaned as he opened his eyes. His back ached, and his arm felt like it fell asleep. But more importantly, he was hungover. Badly. He knew where he was, on your couch, he made sure he didn’t drink to the point of blackout; yet the headache that pressed up against his skull was more than enough to piss him off into a promise of never drinking again. That, of course, being a futile thing. Linguistics was a pain, even to him.

He looked around from his head against the pillow, the TV blackened like the night sky, as he moved his head, Namjoon felt his neck crack in anger. He slept on his neck wrong as well!

You walked into the room, humming softly. You wore your favourite pjs, all-cotton pastel blue, with a little moon embroidered onto the pocket on the right side of your chest.

Namjoon watched you silently, a little gasp on his lips. Never seeing you like this, it was definitely a sight that he wouldn’t forget anytime soon. How soft you appeared to be, even more so than two days ago. His heart still ached when he saw how distraught he had made you. He hadn’t wanted to make you feel like that. He just really hated to see how little you thought of yourself.

“____, you’re,” Namjoon paused, mulling over what to say, “W-Well…do you need help with breakfast?” He finally asked.

You just laughed breathlessly, “No Namjoon. Last time you tried to cook, we ended up having to scrap the entire thing because you burned all of it!” He shyly looked away, covering his face as his blush fully creeped up, embarrassed was only the half of it.

“I apologise for everything…” He began, still covering his face as he spoke, “I really didn’t mean to come here so out of it, and it was wrong of me to forcefully try you to be more open. It was wrong, and I really, really didn’t want to hurt you,” Namjoon finished, his shoulders relaxing slightly. Worry thudded its way through his bones when he didn’t hear your reply.

“Namjoon,” his name from you suddenly startled him, he dropped his hands from his face to see your lips pursed, “It’s okay. I understand why you did what you did. It was just sudden, and you left me with no way to breathe… You don’t, quite know why it bothered me so, no?” He shook his head.

“No, I don’t, and I shouldn’t have assumed things so quickly,” you hummed at his answer.

You sat down next to him, he had to shuffled his legs out of the way and curled up underneath the doona. You sighed, staring at him, and somehow Namjoon knew what you were going to say. He choked up as you started, “I-I’m… just afraid Namjoon… I’m afraid of being swept away, there’s others in the class who are just so much more able to pick up on things better than I can,” despite himself, a man who rarely gave physical affection by his own, he wrapped his arms around you tightly.

“You need to be kinder to yourself,” he said, wincing after as his headache panged, “You can do so much that you don’t see. I want to help you see it, but I know I can’t; I’m just a reminder for you.”

“Namj—”

“Let me finish, please ____.” You rested your head against his shoulder, huffing, “____, I hope you know that you can do this. It may seem bleak right now, our exams are coming up and I know it’s going to be difficult; but you really can get through this. Please, please find that strength to believe in yourself. I hate seeing you this way.”

You felt tears prickle its way out, so scared of it falling yet you didn’t want to leave Namjoon’s embrace. So instead you held onto him as he whispered to you.

You really did hate it all, how your thoughts seemed to counter everything he said to you. That you weren’t good anything. It was screaming at you to let go, to sulk, to change majors. But Namjoon kept on, even if he didn’t know everything, he at least knew that you were dealing with so much hidden away. He couldn’t help you completely, but he was still going to be there for you.

“No matter what it says, I’ll be here to tell you reality. Even if it takes an eternity, I won’t let you be swept away anymore.”

#bts x reader #kim namjoon x reader #kim namjoon #namjoon x reader #college reader #college namjoon #bts fluff #fluff #bts fic #bts stories #bts #fluffy story

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jealouscoffee · 7 years

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@ryn-s replied to your post “Watching Jo Seung Woo in Forest of Secrets. Just the first few mins of...”

i had no idea it was him on the poster all along (cos bae doona took all the spotlight hahah!) he looked so completely different all prep up unlike his role in Gods Gift :OOO to watch!

Me neither! It was only until I read who was in the cast and I was screaming. I just finished the first episode and let me tell you it did not disappoint. If you love legal dramas with mystery, corruption and loads of murder then this drama is your thang. Also doesn’t hurt that Jo Seung Woo oppa is in a drama with the Bae Doona so ya know it’s gonna be perfect.

#The first episode was an hour and 15 mins long 0_0 wtf lol #i cooked while i watched so very productive i must say XD #ramblings #Jo Seung Woo #Bae Doona #Forest of secrets #kdrama #korean drama #secret forest #Stranger

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lexilucacia · 5 years

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Stars

Title: Stars

Relationships: Logince

Words: 1742

TW: Self deprecating, sad Logan, fighting, sexual jokes (not really), fluff, angst, gay stuff

Based on: a prompt by @illogicallyinclined

Logan and Roman always seemed to be arguing. Whether it be banter or a full blown argument, they never seemed to agree. Usually it was about how Logan shot down another idea with logical reasoning.

On this particular day Logan and Roman were just talking. A little banter and such.

“As you can see Cancer is located to the right of.”

“Oh come on four eyes, you’ve been talking about constellations for the last hour. You’re like a robot, do you have an off switch?” Roman laughs at his joke, feeling quite proud of himself. He unfortunately doesn’t see the look of hurt flash across Logan’s face before he goes passive.

“Oh, would you look at the time. I am way off schedule. Sorry Roman, I’ve got to go.” Logan says before sinking out.

Roman didn’t notice anything different because the Logical side was always talking about his schedule. If only he had taken a little more care. Thought his words over before he spoke. If only he had noticed.

Once in the safety of his room the logical side broke down.

“Stupid, stupid! Why do you have to go mess everything up? You know Roman hates it when you babble too much.”

He starts sobbing on his floor. “Sorry, my love. I’m sorry. I’m so stupid.”

Now normally small things don’t set him off but he had, had enough. He was in love with Roman. And Virgil and Patton. This wasn’t his forte and he had no idea what to do. The others would never reciprocate his love. They’d never love an unfeeling, not good enough like him.

“Logan! Logan? Where are you? We’re having fam-ILY game night!” Patton calls from the living room.

“I’ll be just a second.” Logan responds trying to keep his voice steady. He runs into the bathroom and washes his face before slipping on his unicorn onesie as tradition.

…

Over a game of Monopoly and a huge buffet of snack (courtesy of Patton, of course) they all just talk about whatever. Logan doesn’t really get into conversation and whenever he senses he’s been rambling too much he bits his tongue.

As the night progresses Logan just stops speaking all together. He doesn’t interact with others and tries not to get excited about a topic. Logan is not good with social cues and doesn’t sense that the others are worried about him. After 3 games of Monopoly Logan decides to head to bed. (Or retire to his quarters as he put it. Provoking Roman’s response ‘looks like someone swallowed a dictionary’.)

Logan blushes beet red and mutters an inaudible apology before sinking out.

There was a slapping noise followed by an “Ow!” from Roman.

“What did you do Roman?” Virgil hissed at him.

“Me – what? I didn’t do anything.” he didn’t meet Virgil’s eyes.

“Kiddo?” Patton prompted gently.

Roman starts sobbing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

The other sides nod understandingly, but then he says something that causes him to blush and sink out quickly.

“How could I hurt the one I love…?”

Roman spends the rest of the night crying in his room, as does Logan who will never admit it.

…

Roman wakes up the next morning, face red and stain with tear marks. He almost starts crying as her remembered what had happened the night before. Calling Thomas he inquires if they have anything on that day. Roman swears he almost cries with relief when Thomas informs him that they do not have anything planned for the day.

Just as he walks downstairs he can hear coffee mugs being shuffled around in the cupboard and being placed onto the bench. The shake of coffee beans and the smell of frothed milk hits his nose. Ah must be Logan.

Princey clears his throat before walking into the room.

“Oh my Crofters! Hi Roman.” Logan says straightening up his tie. He spoke professionally and in clipped tones, almost like he was hiding behind a mask.

Roman recognised the behaviour from Thomas’ early videos when he did not communicate with Roman or the other sides.

“Logan. I’m sorry about last night.” He reaches out to touch Logan’s arm but Logan backs away and reaches for his coffee.

“I do not recall what you are referring to. I mean, I don’t know what you’re talking about. You have nothing to apo- I mean be sorry about.” Logan seemed to correct himself a lot, using shorter words and apologising more.

“Logan. Are you alright?”

“I can assure you, sorry I mean I’m fine.”

“Logan…” and that’s when Roman heard it. A tiny whimper. He had never heard such a broken sound before.

In a shaky voice and not making eye contact Logan said “Stop, I’m fine. I don’t feel emotion remember? I’m a robot. You hate my schedules. I’m a walking dictionary. So fine I’ll stop talking about constellations and trivia facts. If it makes you happy, Your Highness.”

And it wouldn’t have been so heartbreaking had his voice not cracked part way through and left him whispering the rest of the sentence.

Not have been so heartbreaking if he hadn’t fallen to his knees.

Not so heartbreaking if he hadn’t let out a sob like his heart was being ripped out.

Not so heartbreaking if he had punch Roman.

And then the nerd sunk out.

…

They didn’t speak that day or the next. Not unless they were talking in a video and even then the atmosphere was tense. Virgil and Patton didn’t know what to do because they knew this was something Roman and Logan needed to fix and they did. Though conversations were still tense and there was a lingering of bitterness in the air.

…

Once again it was time for fam-ILY game night. Everyone was babbling and going on about their days. Even Virgil was getting into it. But Roman noticed the logical side still refused to talk about his interests and often downplayed his achievements.

When the topic of constellations and star gazing was brought up Logan had a little spark in his eye and Patton almost thought he might say something but then it dimmed and he murmured a few words before swiftly changing the topic.

Virgil tried getting Logan into a debate a few times that night but Logan had just shaken his head and given in without so much as a huff.

All-in-all they missed their nerd. The socially awkward nerd who didn’t know when to stop talking but face lit up as soon as he started speaking about something. Who couldn’t tell the difference between a joke and a statement. Who added ‘metaphorically though’ to the end of any slang term or phrase. They missed the parts of Logan who made him, well, Logan.

…

Once again the 3 sides stayed up talking late after Logan went to bed. Logan knew this of course and assumed they just didn’t want to talk or hang out with him so he let it be. But as Roman was walking down the hallway heading to bed he heard a muffled cry coming from Logan’s room.

He knocked only to be met with “go away!”

It was truly heartbreaking to hear their most eloquently spoken unable to produce anymore than ‘go away’ without ending in tears.

“Logan please.” Roman’s voice was shaking.

“Please…”

He was tugging on the doorknob now begging and pleading to be let in while Logan was screaming to leave him alone!

After what seemed like hours the door clicked and Roman burst through only to see a blubbering mess of what seemed like a shell of Logan curled up under the doona in the middle of the bed. He had pillows surrounding him and he looked so small.

Roman wasted no time running inside and comforting the broken man before him.

“Baby. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. You’re so perfect and I’m sorry.” Roman couldn’t get the words out fast enough. He kept murmuring about how Logan was perfect and he was so, so sorry that he hurt him. That he didn’t realise how far he took the bantering before he hears a whimper.

“Do you really hate me talking about stars and constellations?”

“Oh god no. My favourite thing is when your eyes light up when you’re talking about something you love. Or when you don’t notice you’re rambling but when you do your ears turn pink. And don’t get me started on how you make something so boring sound interesting just because it’s you talking. You are so perfect in every way imaginable and I’m so sorry that I made you feel anything less than that.” He doesn’t have time to think beofre the next words fall out of his mouth.

“I love you.” It’s not a lie but it’s enough to make Logan and Roman stop. The room is silent apart from Logan’s hiccups and sniffles.

“Really?” Logan asks, so hopeful but like he’s restraining himself. Roman can’t help but coo.

“Really.” He leans down to rub his nose on Logan’s.

Logan scrunches his nose cutely and wipes his face. “I love you too.”

“Will you be my boyfriend?” Roman asks hesitantly, still fearing rejection.

Logan just pulls him down and kisses him. “Yes you silly goose.” And boops Roman on the nose.

“Turn over my little nerd.”

“I will not you perverted, little.”

“You talk too much.” And with that Roman reconnects their mouths before pulling away and flipping him over much to Logan’s annoyance.

Then suddenly Logan lets out a sigh and a groan and Roman just laughs.

“Your back has a lot of tension.” He says as he lightly starts pressing the muscles. “When was the last time you relaxed or slept properly?”

“Um, I can’t remember…?” Logan says while Roman just makes Concerned Princey Noises™.

“Babe!”

A few hours and a lot of groans later, just as the sun is peeking over the horizon Logan is curled into his boyfriend sleeping. He is not tense and is having a good sleep. For the first time in a long time he is sleeping uninterrupted instead of getting up in the middle of the night. He is not unhappy or worrying about what Roman thinks of him. He feels loved.

For the first time, in a long time, he is not apologising in his sleep, murmuring his self loathing thoughts. He is talking about Roman. He is talking about stars.

Taglist: @illogicallyinclined @wowimsogoddamnoriginal @rxndxm-stuff

#logince #angst #sanders sides #roman sanders #princey #logan sanders #crofters #sanderssides #tssides #ts sides #fanfic #fan fic #my writing

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kyemeruth · 4 years

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Proof of life

Two weeks now without Twitter, so I felt like I was out of the news-chismis loop. I sometimes feel the itch to re-download the app, but so far, our conscience is winning. I’m turning either to games or googling or online shopping to steer clear from it. I love Twitter, but most of the time, the environment’s toxic. So I pushed myself to take a one-month hiatus for the meantime. It also gives me space for endeavors I need 100% focus. You see, I’ve been using Twitter as an escape or my go-to app whenever I’m bored. I’m updated, but I’ve noticed I’m more irritable about the little things and my focus is short-lived. Instagram, I’ve already managed to rarely open it because there’s no photo to curate. Hahaha! I tried to document my quarantine life, at least for the hard lockdown period. It was good, but it was also tedious. Twitter is like a drug really, so I had to detox. Messenger is turning out to be one, but because most work concerns are easily sent there, I had to stay. Hayy. Anyway, connectivity is inevitable; we need to really discipline our screentime. Here’s to hoping I can wean away from Twitter. As an accompaniment, I’m reading a Bible plan on reclaiming our relationship with social media.

***

I also haven’t written much here. Regularly liking some tumblr posts, though. Three things I am grateful for this quarter, and also hopeful for the coming last quarter of 2020. One, I happily presented an updated research paper on disinformation trends in Southeast Asia. This time, I focused on assessing ASEAN’s approach and then also attempting to flesh out perspectives towards decoloniality. It was a difficult undertaking, especially because disinformation is a global problem so how can it be decolonized, and should it be a concept on decolonization to begin with. Apparently, it is. The way we view media here in the region is quite different from that of the Euro-American context. Could it be because they are “steeped” in a more liberal set-up or because media plays a larger role in their societies? Not necessarily. Initially, I see a different socio-cultural dynamic here in our region when it comes to media and the public. We’re a region that is more dependent on personal networks, and so we also get our news / information from our family, friends, and those close to us. Media amplifies news, but we’re generally distrustful of them. It may also stem from our mentality even before that media could be coopted by the powerful, by the colonizer, and so we’re wary of whatever they say. Our wariness and dependence on personal networks are both boon and bane to how we deal with disinformation. On one hand, we could be critical of whatever information’s provided; but on the other, we could be very trustful of our personal networks that we forget to validate these info. Another aspect we could look into is the political economy where disinformation thrives. There’s a lot of incentives and leeway for disinfo to flourish-- it’s a lucrative economic opportunity, the regulations are vague so one can play around it. Finally, the way we define fake news could also be a decolonial question. This I would have to further study. Anyway, if you want to listen to my ramblings, you could watch our panel here. We’re Team PUP hahaha! So happy to do this with good friends in our university.

***

The second thing I’m grateful for is the opportunity to join this year’s Asian Ecumenical Institute. It’s a month-long course / workshop on the significance of ecumenism and its contribution to community-building. Received the good news this morning. Hahaha! My father forwarded the invite and encouraged me to join. At first, I was hesitant because of the length of the workshop but also because I am not particularly sure I’d enjoy the topics. I’m still not sure if I’d enjoy it but I think I am interested with how the discussions would play out. Recently, I’ve been praying about God’s calling. Ecumenism and the nexus between secular politics and Biblical foundations to it has become increasingly interesting for me; it really quirks a lot of my curiousities. So there, I’m trying it out. If it weren’t for the pandemic, it would have been held in Bangkok. That would have been good. But if it weren’t for the pandemic too, I may not really be able to participate as I’d be forced to take a month-long leave at work, in the middle of the semester.

The time not spent lounging in my office desk has been redirected to online MOOCs. Our previous director encouraged us to join free short courses on journalism and then the other one was on data ethics. I completed both, which is also good for office productivity targets because the MOOCs have equivalent hours of training. Hahaha! More importantly, I enjoyed answering the quizzes and reading the free materials given to us. They’re mostly investigative pieces, well-written blogs, and some online lecture transcripts. But I still wouldn’t have actively sought those out were it not for these courses. The video lectures were also insightful-- from invited speakers to the actual lecturers, I really learned a lot. It also gave me ideas on how to set up asynchronous online classes during the summer term and for the coming first semester. So, time well spent, I think.

***

The last thing I’m looking forward would be the IELTS exam I’m taking by the end of this month. Really nervous and still not fully ready, but I’m reviewing the structure of the exam so I won’t panic on the day itself. Days, actually. Speaking test comes first on Friday, then the rest on a Saturday. To be fair, it is part of my 2020 list; I’m just moving it to a later date (first March, then June, then end of the year nalang) because I’m chicken but also because the exam’s quite expensive. I planned on taking time to prepare but as it would turn out, critical junctures push us to take leaps of faith. Here’s one of those moments. Hahaha! I have one more week for intensive study, praying for this one and working it out too.

***

In the chiller side of life, we’re done with AppleTV’s Little Voice! I love the soundtrack. It has been on repeat for 2 weeks now. The story is average, but this is Sara Bareilles’ material so we’re supporting this one. Hahaha! Also, I love Louis’ character and his friends. Done also with Dark S02. S01 is a tangled web; I was hoping S02 would untangle some of it, but it made it more complicated. S03′s the last so I hope I’d understand it much better. I’m still thinking if I’d watch Sarah Paulson’s Ratched, but looking forward to the star-studded Enola Holmes film. We’re halfway through S02 of k-drama Stranger (Secret Forest). The story took some time to build up; S01 did a much better job on that. Bae Doona is such an adorable person. I would like her to be my ate or tita. Hahaha! We’re also making good progress with our online Korean classes. I hope to practice this with Tita Paulie soon. :D

***

There. I’m still alive, still breathing. Ocassional bursts of anxiety fill some of my nights, but with God’s grace, we’re pushing through.

#life update

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