#{{ but I'll be stricter with who i want to interact with because of this event. until i can soften myself up again. and feel safe.

[acoldsovereign]

{{ i realized I only posted about it once on the old blog, made a single post here explaining why I moved blogs/remade this account and then privated it because I didn't want to have that negativity hanging over said new blog but uh-

Hi, hello mutuals-- It's me, Tina, lol. I remade my blog and moved from @coldsovereign-a (which is archived now) to here-- @acoldsovereign. I did it because the old blog stopped feeling good to log into.

And, I didn't want to give up so easily. I love Maiz too much and I didn't want this singular, creepy ass, racist, jerk-hole asshat from ruining her/my RP experience. There were other irl/personal issues going on around the same time too and it fucked with my muse majorly. 😭

I apologize if I suddenly seemed like I "disappeared" (and then reappeared) without explanation! I wanted to move on from what happened to me quickly and in the process of that, I uh, forgot about common courtesy for a while. My bad. (Tbh, I just wanted a new home for my girl so I could fully enjoy her again. Glad to say I'm back in the swing of writing her, so the move did help!)

Anyway, more RP stuff coming soon. Yay!

#OOC: Out of Limits #{{ a conversation with a mutual just reminded me that I did NOT do a good job of actually saying what was wrong/didn't explain i remade- #{{ so yee. my bad. lmao. I'll be better about that. i feel a little better about the whole situation and other stuff now tho. #{{ but long story short i was way too accommodating to an asshole who didn't deserve it. #{{ and he like used my personal issues and turned it against me. all bc i wanted to be nice and patient and kind. #{{ i already forgave myself for not seeing red flags so this isn't about that. but the reason why i dealt with that is bc #{{ i have a complex around wanting so hard to not be a monster bc you know. sociopathy fucking sucks. i want to FEEL. and cry. and be kind. #{{ the latter parts are EXCEEDINGLY difficult for me and with my social conditioning as a woman it's hell. i want to genuinely be kind but. #{{ not to everyone. and women are given hell if we dare to be selfish and say “no”. having a hard life growing up helps none. #{{ but anyway-- like i said before i talked to some mutuals about it and i was told i did nothing wrong. so I'm okay. #{{ but I'll be stricter with who i want to interact with because of this event. until i can soften myself up again. and feel safe.

[fuzziemutt]

Cw: discussion of abusive behavior

Something that's been confusing (not upsetting, just confusing) me lately is that some people who talk of Alma being a complex character with her past and she shouldn't get as much shit as she does from the fandom (which true especially from those who clearly don't know the Latine culture this movie is based on) for some reason refuse to say she was legit abusive

It was the point of her character even. She was emotionally manipulative; quite clearly purposely gaslighting the family; still treated them poorly.

Now. This absolutely does not mean she isn't a complex character who has deep trauma that influence her behavior. That there can't be a deeper understanding of her character and motives

Heck, i wished we even delved more into how traumatizing it had to have been for her to suddenly find herself the "leader" of the town and expected to know everything.

She's a complex character Because we see both these sides. We see how she just wanted to keep her family safe BUT we spent way more time seeing the absolutely toxic way she interacted with the family.

The point of the movie was addressing this behavior. And it's Okay to say what it was.

It was emotional manipulation; it was gas lighting; it was degrading others; it was pushing people to their limit with no (at the time) apology

It was abusive

And that's okay to admit

I get why people don't want to call it that when they're "defending" (not the right word but close enough) her as it goes back to making her look bad

But we shouldn't just ignore it; refuse to call it what it is. That negates the very complexity we're trying to discuss here

I know there's the new info that Abuela only started to become stricter after the candle crises event but i don't believe that. I believe it was a gradual thing yes but this absolutely was behavior that was showing before Mirabel got deemed a reminder of a threat that exasperated it

And even if we know why, please don't try and wave off her behavior with "she didn't know/realize."

Yeah she absolutely blinded herself to the troubles in her family but this would be a grown woman who made her own decisions if she wasn't a scripted character.

It's also dismissive, again removing her complexity, of the way she treated her family and the legit emotional damage and trauma she placed on them (y'know the whole intergenerational trauma thing). And almost invalidating their pains

Trauma shouldn't excuse every behavior someone has especially those clearly harming others. And that's okay to admit

(also people should fully be able to not like Alma at all. She honestly does remind me of my own toxic abuela but i guess like the movie was portraying, I have a very complex relationship with her that makes me not leave. I also have problems with the movie's ending. But this is not the post for all that)

{Note: this is difficult to word, so ask for clarity if need be. I'll accept discussions but I'm absolutely ignoring you if you're unnecessarily rude/an ass. This is a silly blog site my dudes}

#encanto #alma madrigal #abuela madrigal #long post #cw abuse