#|| BSAA File: OOC ||

[noonegetsleftbehind]

//...i am sure i will regret this, but....

what if i came back? what if i wiped drafts and everything and just started over and came back fresh?

will i do it? i dunno. i've been gone so long that i am honestly scared to come back and, well, honestly? my real personal life takes precedence. i guess i just miss the ease and comfort of writing from here sometimes.

#|| bsaa file: ooc ||

[yngai]

sad to report i've gotten to that scene in succession & thus have to induct it into the larger ada wong cinematic canon

#* file // : OOC — ( 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐄 . ) #this scene specifically not succession as a whole though i am always a fan of portraying the inherit pathetic-ness of the rich & powerful #making ada a mother is my worst & most inspired decision (nobody does it like me) #kind of plagues me how good of a plotline it really is #burdening her with the guilt of project ada without implying her fault or participation #(since her campaign is spent as you the player and her figure out answers none of the other characters are given) #(the reason she was down this path is because she was investigating the family in the first cutscene of her campaign) #(as her own words say after wesker's death her focus moved onto simmons as he was the next obstacle towards her true purpose) #it allows ada to evolve as a character past her selfishness & need for self-sufficiency/autonomy #& it does tie a nice knot between her last appearance in 6 & my verse for her role during village #something that feels like a personal ending for ada & yet her story goes on as the world isn't done with her quite yet #where she goes after village i haven't yet decided but i do think the BSAA is no longer an obstacle to consider in her movements #in the eight years of her exile the family itself loses its grip on the US government due to internal investigations into simmons' conduct #while he was replaced i assume the new leader is a bit too young & malleable to external forces beyond the family's interest #& the resulting power struggle is another nail in their coffin #she has some freedom #& seeing the desperation in herself through ethan & miranda to reunite with their children does make her consider what to do with it #she's past the halfway point of her life with someone to care for & the decision to settle is less daunting twice over #we'll see - i suppose

[valenfield-inspo]

And Jill was jealous of him. I don't understand why they unused this 😩

"There is some unused dialogue with Chris and Jill talking about Chris flirting with a younger co-worker. As with most cut audio, it remains within the game files."

Lost in Nightmares

Hey there Nonnie, I believe it was cut b/c the dialogue didn't fit the scene, I mean would they really be discussing their personal lives on the job (as we know Capcom tends to be allergic on development of their lives outside their jobs), especially during a really important mission? Personally I didn't get any jealousy vibes from Jill, she seemed to be teasing Chris but I do think she was curious if the rumors were true that Chris was seeing a tech girl that worked in the BSAA. Chris does give her a suggestive answer that age doesn't matter as long as there's chemistry. Yeah I can see that being taken wildly out of context and that can sound inappropriate. Maybe it is a good thing they removed it! 🤣 🤣 🤣 It was just OOC to be bringing up such a thing during a mission. Since it was cut, it is non-canon and likely never to be brought up again. I thought it was neat anyway to see them having that kind of conversation tho as we rarely get to see them interact that way in the games.

Here's the cut dialogue if anyone here hasn't heard it before:

#asks #anon #mod speaks

[noonegetsleftbehind]

//alright fuck it. i won't be making anymore "im back!" posts. every time i do something happens lol. i was going through a lot of shit there for a minute then i really needed to step back during that to focus on my personal life and aside from finally getting covid.... things are going pretty well. i still need some medical testing but that is what it is.

point is.... it's gonna be easier for me to just... be here when i can be here.

unless i specifically say i'm fucking off and leaving this blog then i am still around. if i am not on and posting... it's probably because i'm busy or things are going on. you can always feel free to DM me on discord or through here and i will message when i see it. but that's just how it's gonna be. i simply can't be here all the time. i don't have the time, energy, health, etc to be here all the time. this means response times are going to continue to be absolutely ridiculously slow and i apologize for that, but i am finally getting my life into a good point and spot where i want it and i need to focus on that.

#|| bsaa file: ooc ||

[noonegetsleftbehind]

Me, popping on to remember it’s my Chris’s birthday today

#|| bsaa file: ooc ||

[noonegetsleftbehind]

getting back into this with Chris is even more difficult and painstaking than I thought it would be. he's one of my muses that is so similar to me in his emotions and the fact that his life never ends happy makes it difficult sometimes to write him while I am in a painfully bad depressive episode and bpd episode. however, this doesn't mean I don't want to be here. it just makes me a lot more slow than I thought I would be so I do apologize for that. there's just a lot going on in my personal life and I am constantly worried and constantly sad every single day. all I ask is for some understanding on that and I promise I will do my best to keep up on things.

thank you for all the support <3 J

#|| bsaa file: ooc ||

[noonegetsleftbehind]

me, trying to write ask responses and replies

my dog on the couch across from me

#|| bsaa file: ooc ||

[noonegetsleftbehind]

I, unfortunately, received some devastatingly crushing news today that I’m having extreme trouble dealing with and coming to terms with. I may not be around much, if at all, today or for the next couple of days. If i am, I’m going to be quiet and just answering asks/doing starters/drafts because I need the distraction. I do not have the social or emotional/mental capacity to interact with everyone as I normally love to do right now. To be fair, I’m honestly hanging by a very thin thread right now. I’ve got some things to figure out and need time to deal with this painful blow and may need extra help in doing so that may take some time. For now, I’m completely gutted and at a loss. I’m sorry. I really am. Thank you for your patience. I love you guys. Be kind to yourselves.

#|| bsaa file: ooc || #|| bsaa file: psa || #tw negative #tw mental health

[noonegetsleftbehind]

I'm THEY'RE back

#|| bsaa file: ooc || #|| bsaa file: redacted (spicy spicy spicy) ||

[noonegetsleftbehind]

i had probably the worst and most triggering day i have had in years on saturday. i apologize for my absence. i may talk about it and i may not, but suffice it to say i spent the majority of the weekend in a state of terror, dissociating, and crying. i had to spend all day in a car today and i may take a day to de-stress before i try to get on and do some things and catch up or i may do it tomorrow i'm not sure yet. all i ask for is patience. things are really really rough right now and i just really need some positivity and for things to go right in my life right now.

#|| bsaa file: ooc ||

[noonegetsleftbehind]

Alright so… I tried to change over completely to discord, but only a handful of you were interested in writing with me there.

As I love writing with so many of you and value multiple threads and a surplus of plots, partners and AUs… this won’t work for being discord only, much as I want to get the hell off this site especially now that it’s barely even useable. Looks like I’ll be staying after all! I’m happy to be able to write with you all again!

I won’t go into more medical stuff either, but I’ll just say I’ve been going through some nasty stuff so please be easy on me as I dip my feet back in. 💜

#|| bsaa file: ooc ||

[noonegetsleftbehind]

i am making an effort to be here a little today if it kills me.

that said? this picture of my dog this morning accurately depicts and describes how i feel today. happy monday, loves! <3

#|| bsaa file: ooc || #//he needs groomed but like also #//he gets bed head #//and he's a crusty white dog and gets eye gunk #//and tear stains #//but like everything about him even the look in his eyes #//me. i feel that zig. i feel that so hard.

[noonegetsleftbehind]

today has been a struggle mentally. not yet ready for bed. going to try and do things here and on leon if i can get my brain to cooperate.

#|| bsaa file: ooc ||

[noonegetsleftbehind]

all of my drafts have been deleted, all asks as well. it's a fresh start, my friends. let's do this.

first up? an open starter so sit tight!

#|| bsaa file: ooc ||

[noonegetsleftbehind]

BUTT what if I was to just get crazy and put a happy lil open on the dash?

#|| bsaa file: ooc ||

[noonegetsleftbehind]

me, earlier, talking to my wife about d.b.d

phrasing matters, friends. phrasing matters. unless you really do want to have conversations with your wife about le.on ke.nnedy's foreskin...

#|| bsaa file: ooc || #|| bsaa file: redacted (crack) || #//i was dying laughing