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#✧ lexi howard. ic / and maybe one day i’ll get around to fixing myself too
ahsterism · 1 year
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tag drop pt. 1: misc general
#✧ angie miller. ic / sinking in the pool of your mistakes#✧ angie miller. musings / stuck in her daydream#✧ angie miller. visage / freckles and constellations#✧ angie miller. headcanons / everything seems to be estranged when you’re alone#✧ michael afton. ic / and through it all the rise and fall the bodies in the streets#✧ michael afton. musings / did i beat you at your own game? typical of me to put us all to shame#✧ michael afton. visage / something is wrong with me. i should be dead‚ but i’m not#✧ michael afton. headcanons / none of us belong‚ everything i do is wrong‚ and soon there will be nobody left around#✧ robin buckley. ic / hey dingus‚ your children are here!#✧ robin buckley. musings / i feel like my whole life has been one big error#✧ robin buckley. visage / my ears are little geniuses‚ trust me#✧ robin buckley. headcanons / what if there’s just something about me that drives people away?#✧ will byers. ic / i tried to make it go away‚ but it got me#✧ will byers. musings / yeah… crazy together#✧ will byers. visage / they all treat me like i’m gonna break!#✧ will byers. headcanons / i think it’s just scary to open up like that#✧ lexi howard. ic / and maybe one day i’ll get around to fixing myself too#✧ lexi howard. musings / on the outside always looking in#✧ lexi howard. visage / i feel like a six out of ten#✧ lexi howard. headcanons / sentences sit in her mouth that are templated#✧ valen cassano. ic / they say i did something bad then why’s it feel so good?#✧ valen cassano. musings / all i am is a weapon i shoot ‘em down ‘til i end up alone#✧ valen cassano. visage / gunpowder gelatine dynamite with a laser beam#✧ valen cassano. headcanons / heaven knows you tried. got it? good now get inside
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ahsterism-aa · 3 years
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@ofthebrokenstories​ asked: ❰❰ PANIC ❱❱ sender comforts the receiver as they have a panic attack or get overstimulated// Cassie & Lexi // an extremely self indulgent meme
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   A SIDE OF HERSELF THAT LEXI typically puts her best efforts into keeping hidden, especially in front of her sister; yet...she can’t seem to chase it away this time around. Swallow the pain and hold it tight in her chest, let it rot from the inside but never overgrow enough to show through any cracks she finds herself unable to seal. At every corner she turns, Lexi sees their lives barely held together at the seams, her motivator towards stepping up and becoming someone that does her damn best to help in the minimal ways she can. Long accepting her role more towards the background, she prefers to keep her own more...overwhelming moments under wraps, instead persisting as a shoulder to lean on. 
   Hiding doesn’t do her any good this time, though, especially since she can’t conceal herself well with the way their rooms are set up. Sat at the side of her bed with knees pulled to her chest, Lexi glances up between strained breathing to see Cassie kneeling down beside her. She opens her mouth to say something, but immediately chokes on air instead, taking a few more moments before... “C- Cassie, I...I c-” Can’t breathe, she can’t, it’s happened before yet still feels so threatening no matter how many times and oh god, she can’t breathe. Still, familiar instinct kicks in again. “I’m... I’ll be okay, I just— I need a moment, I think, I’ll be a- al...alright, yeah? I promise.” 
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ahsterism-a · 4 years
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@naivefell​ // lyric one-liners
( atlas: two - sleeping at last ) 
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     “ Tell me, is something wrong? If something’s wrong, you can count on me. ”
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ahsterism-aa · 3 years
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@ofthebrokenstories asked: “You’re just upset that my music is better than yours, nerd.” // Cassie to Lexi // chaotic roommate sentence starters
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   PLAYFUL EXHALE SOMEWHERE BETWEEN a laugh and a scoff, and Lexi shakes her head, turning another page of the textbook sprawled out in front of her after only really paying attention to about half of the words. Laying on her stomach, she can glance at Cassie clearly. “You know, I’m actually pretty proud of my Spotify library, so nope, not that. It’s more like the music without headphones, you know I have that chem midterm tomorrow.”
It isn’t said with actual bitterness, more of a typical back and forth between sisters, but… well, she does have that test. “Are your headphones really lost, or did they just fall under the bed again?”
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ahsterism-aa · 3 years
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@naivefell​ asked: “❛ The heart I know I’m breaking is my own ❜ Lexi @ Cassie” // evermore prompts
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  LEXI IS ALL TOO FAMILIAR WITH PICKING UP PIECES. Shattered home, shattered friendship ( the ONLY one she ever put her all into, the one that gave her a real chance-- the surface level crap isn’t the same, but at this point, she’ll take what she can get ), she decided a long time ago that she would be the one to help pick people up, whether it’s her sister, or Rue, or anyone else-- she desperately wants to. Earnest listening, pang of sympathy in her chest, but when Cassie says it...a painful familiarity hits, and Lexi’s jaw clenches. 
    She isn’t going to let anyone else she loves destroy themselves. 
“Cas...if it’s THAT bad...I don’t think you can stay in this situation.” Doubt that she’s even qualified to give advice in the first place-- what has she DONE in her life, anyways? Definitely lacking when it comes to relationships, at least. “Leaving hurts too, I guess, but...there’s a point where you have to choose what’s best for you.”
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ahsterism-aa · 3 years
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@naivefell​ asked: “‘I can’t make it go away by making you a villain’ / Cassie for Lexi. ( naivefell )” // evermore prompts
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   FROWN PULLS AT THE CORNERS OF HER LIPS, and Lexi lets out a sigh, sinking onto the sheets of her bed in their shared room. To tell the truth, she finds herself especially exhausted today, for whatever reason she isn’t aware, and maybe she had ended up a little too pushy. Wouldn’t have been the first-- she tries with every breath, but offering her help when another clearly doesn’t want it ( guess that’s what happens when it’s the only thing she feels good for ) or moments of accidentally getting a bit snappy aren’t lost on her. 
    “Then...just talk to me. Or-- if you don’t want to, you don’t need to, but...you’re right, that won’t solve anything.” A pause. “I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to act-- weird? If I did...weird day.”
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ahsterism-a · 4 years
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maybe im just a dreamer ( Cassie / naivefell) For LEXI.
@naivefell​ // owl city starters
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     Lips press together as Lexi mulls over the statement, a nod of her head and fingers brushing a loose strand of dark hair behind her ear. A common trait between sisters, although Lexi TRIES her best to keep herself grounded in reality. Dreaming is left for when she wishes things were the way they used to be-- a best friend, and a feeling of BELONGING; reality isn’t quite as great. And she knows Cassie dreams still, Lexi just...doesn’t want her to get hurt again. 
        “It’s okay-- to dream, I guess.” She nods. “But I wouldn’t get too caught up in it, I guess...or else-- whatever you’re dreaming about...it would just hurt more when it isn’t true, you know?” 
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ahsterism-aa · 3 years
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✧・゚ tag drop: television muses (pt 1)
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ahsterism-a · 4 years
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"i don’t know what to do. " to lexi
@dahnces​ // soft angst starters
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    Concern floods through Lexi’s expression-- brows crease, lips twitch downwards, and she recognizes the look on Gina’s face. It almost reminds her of Cassie ( sometimes, Lexi forgets she isn’t the older one, forgets she isn’t supposed to be the caretaker amongst their family, for everyone around her-- hard to remember when the task has been shouldered on her for as long as she can remember ), and she’s struck with the need to help. It’s a familiar feeling, but no less genuine. Gina is only one grade below her, but she seems young, and the last thing Lexi wants is for her to feel a l o n e. 
    A slight tilt of her head to the side, Lexi glances downwards, before slowly reaching out to take Gina’s hand in her own. She gives it a reassuring squeeze, hoping that it serves as some sort of support. She doesn’t KNOW what might help, doesn’t even know all the details, but there’s one thing she’s sure of: she’ll keep working at it until Gina is okay. 
      “Well...I think you should talk to your mom more, really tell her about how you feel. I know it’s not her fault, the moves, but maybe...communication could make it better. And you can talk to me, too, whenever you need it, alright?”
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ahsterism-a · 4 years
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“  i just want to take it all back.  ” rue @ lexi
@sunhken​ // more misc memes
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   Lexi’s lips twitch downwards into a slight frown, heart aching for the past, for what she and Rue used to have. It feels as if they’ve been floating away from each other for a long time, her best friend out of reach, seemingly uninterested, while Lexi stayed lost among the crowd. She tries, she tries as much as she can, but sometimes, it’s simply too much. She’s always been a caregiver, helping others for as long as she can remember. Through her parents’ divorce, through their alcoholism, caring for her sister whenever she could-- she never felt like the younger one. And of course, Rue. And it’s fucking exhausting...but she doesn’t think she’d ever refuse. 
                                              God, she’s so far gone. 
     “Rue...” Her voice comes out quieter than she planned, and her gaze flickers downwards, avoiding eye contact as she shakes her head. “What happens...happens, you can’t change that, no matter how much it sucks. You don’t have to take things back...you should focus on making things better now.”
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ahsterism-a · 4 years
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💬( ....LEXI )
@dahnces​ // send 💬  for me to generate a line of dialogue
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   Well this is...new. Lexi is used to being in the background-- blending in with everybody around her, lost in the crowd of students who are much more interesting, bright and fun and bold, like her sister, and her sister’s friends. She’s friends with them too, sure, but they’re really Cassie’s friends, and she knows it. And then there’s Rue, but things are...complicated, they’re always complicated. Besides, Rue has Jules now, and Lexi is used to being an afterthought. Which is why she hadn’t expected to be talking with a new girl like this. She’s a sophomore, younger than Lexi, but a few classes mix grades-- what she’s really surprised by is the fact that someone wanted to talk to her. 
   "I don't often get the chance to talk to someone like you” She blurts out in the middle of the conversation, before immediately chastising herself for sounding so...stupid? Dumb? Who SAYS things like that? “I mean, new people, there haven’t really been new students here in...a while. And I don’t leave town a lot...” 
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ahsterism-a · 4 years
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@sunhken​ // sc. ( open )
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  Lexi is worried. Worried and frustrated, and she can’t decide which one is worse. She noticed when Rue left the dance-- of course she did. She notices a lot of things Rue does...and she couldn’t help the pang of jealously that spread throughout her chest every time her gaze flickered towards her best friend and Jules. Something stirs inside her every time she sees them together...but Lexi pushes it down every time. She can’t afford to let that get the better of her, not when Rue is happy. That’s the most important part. If Rue is happy, so is Lexi. But as time keeps dragging on, and she still doesn’t see Rue...Lexi starts to think something might have happened. The few texts she sent go unanswered, and she knows she shouldn’t worry, but after what happened last summer, she can’t help it. 
   She left the dance as the night came to an end, and she walks instead of getting a ride with Cassie again, deliberately not going to her house. Instead, her feet begin to lead her toward’s Rue’s. She shivers wearing just a dress, but she HAS to check on her friend, that’s not strange, right? It might be awkward, but...she has to know Rue is okay. 
  Her heart hammers in her chest as she holds her phone in her hand, and as the girl keeps walking towards Rue’s, she shrugs, presses call, and lifts it to her ear. “You better pick up.”
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ahsterism-a · 4 years
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☆゚* tag drop 2 (tv muses pt 1)
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