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frecklystars · 4 months

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Ahh so I saw you just watched Crazy Stupid Love! What did you think of it? I’m trying to think of specific questions but I can’t 😅 I’d be interested to just hear your opinions on any part of it that you wanna share lol. Was Jacob different from how you pictured him or about what you expected? How do you think he’d get along with your other Ryan F/Os? 🐢

TURTLE ANON MY BELOVED!!! :D

Hi sweetie!!! Thank you for the ask!!!! OH BOY WHERE DO I BEGIN WITH HIM 🥺🥺🥺 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! HE'S EVEN BETTER THAN I EXPECTED!!!! The movie itself not so much, BUT JACOB WAS AMAZING--

Okay, so, my opinion on JACOB: I was really, really surprised. I thought he was going to be a total jerk. I've watched just about every Ryan Gosling Crazy Stupid Love interview out there (and several other films he's been a part of), and he kept saying Jacob was the quintessential asshole. I was mentally prepared for this guy to be Barney Stinson 2.0 (and that wouldn't be a compliment at all).

Dude I RAMBLED. I am putting down a readmore link to spare you all sdfldskjf

This movie is from 2011, isn't it? And this man's supposed to be a womanizer, isn't he? He's supposed to objectify women? I didn't see any of that. What the hell. HE WAS SO KINDHEARTED AND RESPECTFUL. I was SHOCKED. Since this movie is from the early 2010s, I was expecting Jacob to say some shit like "oh, the ideal woman is supposed to be super thin with a huge rack, she needs to be no more than this certain amount of pounds, if she's crazy you gotta run away, blah blah blah, don't go for the nerds in glasses" but... he didn't mention women's appearances? Ever? Unless if it was just a compliment like "you look amazing in that dress, you're wearin' it like you're doin' it a favor" like hahahaaaa holy shit... heart eyes... the only time he said something that made me think "oh, you're trying out for the part of Ken Carson, aren't you" is when he said one (1) misogynistic comment about how "men won when women decided to be pole dancers. but they still deserve our respect" and I was like eh ok it's 2011. but that was the only comment that I noticed. Otherwise, he was extremely respectful???

The way he treated Hannah, especially, was so endearing to me. The first time he meets Hannah, he asks to sit with her, he doesn't touch her, he doesn't say anything sleazy. He compliments both her and her friend. He asks to buy her a drink, and when Hannah rejects his advances, he makes a joke about driving her home, but doesn't follow her or pressure her to stay. He just lets her go.

The second time he meets Hannah, he is MELTING in her arms when she's suddenly kissing him. He's gaping like a fish, muttering "yeah" when she's like "do you remember me? still find me attractive? still want to take me home?"

When he takes her home, he STILL is not touching her. He makes them both a drink. She downs both her drink AND his. He's like "wow I need her carnally" LSDFKJSDLF. When he notices she's nervous, he SITS FAR AWAY FROM HER ACROSS THE ROOM. He keeps his legs crossed, his hands folded. He does NOT take off his clothes until she orders him to, and even then, he only removes his shirt. He asks if he can put it back on afterward. He doesn't push her to sleep with him. He keeps his voice quiet. He doesn't hit on her, not at all, he lets her do all of the talking. When they're laying in bed and kissing, she's obviously drunk, and he's patient with her when she's interrupting the kissing and giggling. She never directly says "I don't wanna bang anymore" but she asks about the massage chair he owns and he makes jokes about the chair, laughs with her, lets her sit in the chair. They just laugh all night. He NEVER pressures her to sleep with him, never never never. He doesn't touch her. He doesn't initiate anything. She's the one touching him.

That meant so much to me. How is this man supposed to be a womanizer if I didn't see him objectify a woman even once? He just compliments them, buys them a drink, asks them if they want to get out of there and sleep together, and then they do. That's it!!! He just sleeps around but he doesn't do it to be an asshole, he does it because it's fun, and sure as hell these women should be fully aware it's a one-night thing and not a "ooh this is my new steady boyfriend who will call me every night"

The scene where he's laying in bed and laughing with Hannah, and he's making fun of all of his own materialistic possessions that mean nothing to him (calf pants. pants for his calves. calf pants.) when he says "I am wildly unhappy. I'm trying to buy it, and it's not working." that. wrecks me. kills me. I've seen gifsets of that scene and I was really looking forward to seeing it. "Will you do me a favor? Will you ask me something personal about myself?" The way he kept blinking and rolling his head around the pillow, averting eye contact when he talked about his parents, his dad... god. god. AND THEN HE FELL ASLEEP 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 it was probably the first time he felt a meaningful connection with someone in a long time, too

Fast forward to that scene where David Lindhagen shows up at the party(?) or whatever it was supposed to be, a gathering, a romantic gesture from Cal -- whatever. When Cal says "David Lindhagen", JACOB TAKES OFF HIS RING AND SAYS "DAVID LINDHAGEN?" IMMEDIATELY WALKS UP TO HIM AND PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE. "YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT PAIN YOU'VE CAUSED MY FRIEND HERE?" God, fuck, that killed me. He took that shit personally. Him taking off his ring to punch a guy he doesn't even know on behalf of his friend was sexy asf. And Cal wasn't even being nice to him at the time, yet he STILL stood up for him. He FOUGHT for Cal, and what did Cal do? Cal told him he couldn't see Hannah anymore!!! "This man objectifies women, I know how he treats women" UH YEAH DUDE, HE'S EXTREMELY RESPECTFUL TO WOMEN, I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM???? JACOB PALMER IS NOTHING LIKE BARNEY STINSON AND THAT IS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jacob wanting to talk a few scenes afterwards, asking "Are we going to be adults about this?" trying to communicate, being really gentle with his wording. Saying "I am in love with her. I don't know what I was doing before this. I didn't ask for this, I can't exactly stop" like!!!! god!!! Before he even had that fight with Cal, he CALLED CAL and he was like "hey I'm about to meet Hannah's parents and I'M SOOO NERVOUS I need your advice please" LIKE HOW SWEET IS THAT? HE WAS NERVOUS. GOD. HE WANTS TO MAKE HANNAH HAPPY AND HE WANTS TO IMPRESS HER PARENTS. SHUT UPPPP Cal annoyed me so much in this movie ffs. and when Cal was like, practically disowning Hannah, Jacob was telling Hannah gently "I think you should call your dad. look. look it's written here in the newspaper, you gotta call your dad" which was a way of trying to make her laugh but also gently urging her to communicate with him. And him going to Cal later and saying "your family misses you" like jesus christ this guy is so well put together and communicative and healthy and just??? a good guy??? the best boyfriend???? the BEST boyfriend??? I'm so lucky I have such a respectful boyfriend. Boyfriend number 34956305403457. Kissed and thrown into the Gosling Boyfriend Pile. anyway--

The entire movie itself. Oh boy. Uh, my thoughts on that -- too many subplots. What on earth. I was watching the movie with one of my friends and we kept saying "WE DON'T CARE. WHERE'S RYAN. WHERE'S RYAN GOSLING" every time he wasn't on screen. That subplot with the 17 y/o girl trying to give her nudes to Cal (A 40 YEAR OLD MAN) WAS UNCOMFORTABLE ASF... her giving the nudes to the 13 y/o who keeps talking about how he thinks about her when he's uh doing things alone in his room. the fuck. SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE LOL and the kiss on the cheek at the end was not cute nor charming. This is absolutely 2010 levels of humor but oh my god it just does not hold up today. Maybe other teenagers would have thought it was funny but as a girl who's in her 20s, I just, eughhh couldn't feel entertained by that.

And the graduation scene was so freaking annoying. Robbie and Cal's speeches had NOTHING to do with graduating. Oh my god. Imagine you're a parent. Imagine your little Susie is so excited to graduate the eighth grade. The valedictorian is some snot-nosed twerp with a sheep dog haircut from supercuts. You are not listening to a word he's saying, you'd probably rather be drinking, and since it's 2011 and you're in a 2011 romantic comedy movie, you probably hate your marriage. You want to go home. You are tired from your full time job and you have limited time off, you'd rather be anywhere else, but you're here for little Susie because she fucking STRUGGLED to pass the eighth grade because her ADHD made it hard for her to focus and you had to really encourage her with ice cream Fridays and pizza Wednesdays and star-shaped stickers to get her to pass her tests on how to write mixed fractions as improper fractions. Imagine this snot-nosed twerp talking about how love is a scam and soulmates don't exist. Now imagine this child's father approaching the stage, not even using the microphone so you can barely hear him, and he goes on for SEVERAL MINUTES about his divorced wife and buying her an ice cream cone when they were 15 years old. What the actual hell. You just want to watch little Susie get her diploma. BUT NOOO. YOU CAN'T. BECAUSE THIS BITCH YOU'VE NEVER MET IS GOING ON ABOUT SOULMATES. WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO WITH GRADUATING MIDDLE SCHOOL? NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. THE SNACKS AT THE BUFFET TABLE CANNOT COMPENSATE FOR THE AMOUNT OF TIME, PATIENCE, AND BRAIN CELLS YOU HAVE LOST THROUGHOUT THIS WHOLE ORDEAL. NOT EVEN THOSE LITTLE SOFT FROSTED GLUTEN-FREE COOKIES THEY SELL AT PUBLIX.

Anyway. Ahem. Jacob was the best part of this film and one of my favorite Ryan F/Os. He and Emma Stone have INCREDIBLE chemistry, it's no wonder they've done three pictures together. Oh dear God you've asked me another question I'm so sorry -- I've already talked so much, I'm so sorry SDLFJSFLD. How would he get along with my other Ryan F/Os?? That's so nice of you to ask!! 😍😍 Awwww, Jacob would love Ken!!! Ken is up to date on all the latest fashions, though he wears much more brightly colored clothes than Jacob does, Jacob can still appreciate Ken's eye for detail. Jacob has a running horse on his ring, and Ken would LOVE that! Ken would be so, so excited about that. Jacob's ears would be ringing, Ken's talking so much about the ring, he'd probably gift it to him if it means so much to him.

I also gush about Jacob's white jacket a lot. He looks like Driver with it, y'know without the uh, the scorpion patch or the gussets. He would appreciate that Driver doesn't have much to say but he's still a very cool and laid back guy. Thinks he's doing it on purpose. Probably says "wow you must be a real ladies man with that kind of attitude... y'know what they say buddy, less is more" or something and Driver is just like "..." and Jacob is like "yeah that's EXACTLY what I'm talking about. high five-- no? okay. I'm going over there now". He'd probably try to get Officer K and Six and maybe even Colt to loosen up a little bit. "What's that, blood on your face? Tawny hair all messed up like you've never seen a goddamn comb in your life?" He pats their face and says "we've got work to do, c'mon". He isn't aware Six already has access to really expensive suits but Six honestly is just enjoying the ride. Six and Jacob are sharing Sbarro's pizza. Officer K isn't used to being pampered. Getting his hair cut, getting tailored for a nice suit ("isn't that a weird coincidence how we're all a size 42 regular?"), getting complimented. Jacob and Colt are constantly shopping for sunglasses. If Ken is out with them, they walk around the Century City mall, and he says "hey! Barbie and I were just here a few months ago with our sweet girl! Haha, yeah, this is where I saw a horse for the first time, over there-- AND this is where I discovered patriarchy and brought it to BarbieLand, but turns out patriarchy does NOT mean the world is run by horses, so don't make THAT mistake. Totally easy to be confused, I know. Anyway I think the beach is around here somewhere--" "...sorry repeat that last part" "beach?" "no the other last part" "oh I saw a horse?" "no the OTHER other last part--"

I would love Jacob to please for the love of God take Sebastian Wilder out shopping. I'm begging. That dude only owns like 2 pairs of trousers and maybe 3 shirts. Same with Driver, he has 1 shirt, 2 jackets, maybe 2 trousers. "What the hell are you thinking, kid, wearing all denim? Makes you eyes pop, I'll give you that, and the toothpick is a nice touch, but you want to impress your girl don't you?? And Wilder, what in Christ's name are you wearing? What, you shop at The Gap? At least pop your collar or somethin', spice yourself up a little. You see what I'm wearing? You see what I've got going on here? All spice. I'm Paprika. I am the whole goddamn rack. You impress Keri with that plain white shirt? At least Driver has the bomber jacket-- hey where are you going? Don't take that tone with me--"

I could really keep rambling but I'll stop here omfg. I love you turtle anon, thank you for indulging me 😂💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

#🐢 anon #anonymous #asks #keepsake #love notes #💕♬♪ ♡ It feels different when you're with me - ̗̀☆🥂🖤✨☆ ̖́-

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