#💕♬♪ Losing you is not an option ☆🔪❤️💥

[frecklystars]

American Psycho musical anon! So in the scene where Jean is in Patrick’s apartment — he gets ready for the kill (and is in his underwear covered in blood don’t worry about it it’s a metaphor at this point), but stops when she confesses she loves him. And Patrick just stops and stares and there’s a long, long pause…and he just says all softly “…why?” Before telling her to leave before she gets hurt.

But that’s not the line — it’s when he’s monologing a confession to the detective right after. He goes through his (supposed) kills and says “I almost…I almost killed someone *good*” in reference to her, with his voice breaking on that last word. When I was reading your post about adding Patrick to your f/o list I IMMEDIATELY thought of that.

!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! Bro I’m so grateful you are telling me this 😭😭 I’ve been having such a. weird. time with this F/O. but I need him and I need to get back into the habit of believing that there is safety within fiction and self shipping, always, regardless of who it’s with, whether it’s the sweetest happy-go-lucky character, or the most horrific, vile, awful villain character to grace the screen. I think Patrick is the worst (derogatory AND affectionate) character I’ve ever felt an attachment to, and like… 99% of me trying to self ship with him is me saying “ok but he wouldn’t hurt me and he wouldn’t hurt others anymore after meeting me bc he wants to get better” and I’ve had a lot of good days about it! I’ve had a lot of good days where I realize I’ve done a good chunk of healing from my irl abuse bc of him making me feel so protected. The bad days with him are so rare bc I've managed to work around my story with him a LOT (A LOT. A LOT OF HEAVY EDITING) and messages from kind folks like you always help me feel so much better too!!! 😭💖💖

I think it’s extremely kind of you to think of me and to take the time to tell me about this version of Patrick having a bit more of a… a conscience, can we call it that? Man that hits just as hard as movie!Patrick looking genuinely so upset/distressed and saying quietly “I don’t think I can control myself” and telling Jean repeatedly that she should leave even though she keeps asking “do you want me to leave?” he has all these chances to change his mind, yet he just. won’t. allow himself. to hurt somebody who’s so innocent.

It makes you think about how he’s surrounded by the same type of people 24/7. The same uptight misogynistic yuppies in the same Armani pinstripe suits and ties obsessed with financial success doing work where they don't lift a finger, the same blonde models married/engaged to said yuppies for their money, or the same models they pay for and treat like objects. How Pat views everyone as an object to be discarded or something to take his frustration out on, how he is seeing Jean that way until they have a genuine conversation that barely lasts even just a few minutes, and that monstrous part of him mellows for a moment, and he realizes softly within himself “oh. fuck.” like he’s still the worst Ever but like… it’s nice (from a self shipping perspective) to know that there is a small shred of empathy left in that hollow husk of a (fictional) monster and he’s able to tame that said monster even for just a second for the sake of someone else. There's 0.0001% of goodness, or at least something somewhat neutral left inside of him, something to work with and I can build off of that.

And!!! Canonically, didn’t the author write a whole bunch of emails to promote the movie about Pat going to therapy and being married to Jean with a son, like 10 years after the events of the film?? Something like that?? Granted, I think they get divorced, but, like… he has the potential to be loving and gentle and the fact that he canonically goes to therapy (plus the ambiguity of his crimes in the first place, how seemingly none of them possibly happened in the first place) all of it adds up and makes me think “ok no, I can pull this off!!! I CAN absolutely do this!!!! I like him and I’m allowed to think he would like me and get better for me too!!! If he can do it for Jean, he can do it for me!!"

Slowly but surely getting back on that self shipping saddle. Kind messages help immensely. Thank you again so much 😭🙏

#anonymous #asks #keepsake #💕♬♪ Losing you is not an option ☆🔪❤️💥 #anon you are a fucking GODSEND btw thank you so much. ilu

[whatisgoingonsstuff]

Why

Shouldn’t an explanation be given to someone? No matter how long or short you are in any type of relationship with someone? sometimes not knowing what happened is the the worst mental torture. It could make a person do something to themselves or others. If feel an explanation of why any relationship that comes to an end should be told. What do you think? 

#💕♬♪ losing you is not an option ☆🔪❤️💥

[frecklystars]

You're finally adding your Patrick ship tag! Is there a reason why you didn't? Or maybe you did and I just missed it?

Yeah I'm finally adding the tag onto gifsets. Enough people guessed who the tag was for already so I thought I might as well, lol! I hesitated for a very long time because 1) he was on-and-off the F/O list for a long time until I finally built a version of him in my head that I tolerate, but god it was such... a rollercoaster getting to this point and 2) I don't ship entirely with the movie version of him because there's such a different version of him in my head, that it felt weird adding his ship tag onto gifsets. like. him sitting at a dinner table in a gifset, I'll look at him and think "there's a version of you in my head that I am so heavily involved with, but it isn't You." but hey. christian bale is so pretty.......... and whatever. the version in my head looks like christian bale too. so why not. it's all fiction and nothing is real and we're all gonna die, nothing in life matters :)

It's two months later and I've finally decided he's gonna stay on the F/O list even if he isn't really a... romantic F/O. I mean, he is? But he's not? But he is. But he's not. He's my boyfriend-who's-not-my-boyfriend. He's my serial killer bodyguard. He's my pathetic boytoy I drag around on a leash and if anybody is mean to me I just go "sic 'em, boy" take off his collar and let him go hog wild, and then I give him a treat for being my good dog.

In all honesty the reason why I'm shipping with him is because I need to rewire my brain into believing my F/Os love me, even the villains. Before I went through [vaguely gesturing to the trauma of 2023] a whole year of not being able to self ship without thinking any and all F/Os would hurt me, I was able to self ship with villains without any problems. Now it's insanely difficult to ship with anybody regardless if they're a villain or not, and I'm trying to feel like my old self again. This is where Pat comes in.

Somebody actually F/O recommended Patrick to me in my inbox a few months ago and they didn't tell me that he was a serial killer or a horrible person in general lmfao but they said... I'm paraphrasing here but they said something like "he is very intense, but he would be very protective and devoted to the one he loves" and that sounds like... something I need to get back into the habit of believing: all F/Os are protective and loving, they're not gonna be abusive towards me even if they're abusive villains themselves. Then my friend said "oh that's one of my favorite movies!" and sent me funny meme videos of Pat where he wasn't killing anybody, he was just. sweating profusely over business cards and crying hysterically in a phone booth. and I thought "wow I'm kind of in love with him, this is the most pathetic man I've ever seen in my life" and tbh if you know me long enough, you'll know a fun fact about me, I see a beautiful man sobbing his eyes out and that's it for me. it's over. I am so smitten for a pretty man who's shedding an unnecessary amount of tears. The more pathetic, the better. So then we joked that he was my boyfriend even though I planned to never see the movie (I live at Super Weenie Hut Juniors, I can't handle horror). WELL. I kept coming up with self ship scenarios with him even tho I only knew him from the business card scene and his crying scenes. Curiosity got the best of me anyways and then I realized "hey, if I'm feeling really attached to a villain right now, and if I watch this movie and come up with self ship ideas with him... isn't that healing? In a way? Having a really terrible person find a way to change and become a better person and to love me? Building a version of him in my head and believing he'd love me; isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing with fiction?? This could be a good healing exercise for me"

So then I watched the movie -- AND MY GOD I HAVE NEVER WORKED SO HARD TO SELF SHIP WITH A CHARACTER LOL DUDE THIS GUY IS INSANE. On and off that F/O list every few hours. I have never been on such a rollercoaster of emotions with a character. "I love him - oh god I hate him. I love him! I hate him. Oh this part of the movie is making me laugh so hard I have tears in my eyes. Oh god this part of the movie is so disturbing we need to skip it, I won't even acknowledge it happens. Oh haha I love him. Oh I hate him." Back and forth back and forth. I know he's the American Psycho™ so he's gonna be quite intense. y'know. but this was also my first horror movie just in general and I was very on edge shakily gripping my friend's hand LOL. And then the end of the movie made me feel a lot better because - well I won't spoil it, but the end of the movie really really helped me feel better about it, and if it didn't end that way, then I don't know if I would have bothered trying to put him on the F/O list at all. But I am a stubborn bitch!!!!!!! I want to get better so bad and if shipping with this guy is gonna help me then damn it all he is GOING on that F/O list!!!!

So he's officially on the F/O list now (even if he isn't really a romantic kind of F/O, he's still Something dear to me). Woohoo 🥳🥳 I feel genuinely 100% safe and loved with him, even if it isn't the "canon" version of Pat, there's still a version of him built off of that and that feels like a big win for me considering my circumstances. He isn't a main F/O by any means so he likely won't be sticking around my head for very long, but wrow. I love him. and he loves meeee!!!! and if I keep working very very very hard maybe I can ship with TF characters again someday, bc god I miss them so bad

#anonymous #asks #💕♬♪ Losing you is not an option ☆🔪❤️💥 #so sorry if you expected a short answer. you ask me a question i WILL ramble for 500 years

[frecklystars]

I just KNOW the goose boys would protect you like nobody's business

• Driver would hold your hand your hand on late night drives, never initiating at first because he's nervous but Always holding you tight if you want to. He'd always softly ask permission to kiss you, even if it's just a quick smooch on your hand.

• Ken couldn't even IMAGINE hurting you, it's just not something he can comprehend! When he thinks about you it's always sparkles and hearts and holding you tight enough to forget any worries

• Six knows what pain feels like and can't bear to think about you feeling like that, so he's always there to prevent Anything from hurting you (even if that something is just it being too cold outside lol). He knows what flashbacks and old trauma feel like too so he's perfectly equipped to ground you and make sure you feel safe, guiding your breathing, getting you water, and never tiring of any reassurances you need from him. He'd probably insist on teaching you self defense though lol

• Noah's a Southern gentleman, so any chance he gets to help you he LEAPS on, holding the door open, cooking you breakfast, and threatening ANYTHING that might harm you with his shotgun

• Dean is devoted to you like no other, he'd play love songs on his ukulele and dance with you whenever he could. He lives for a chance to make you laugh, it makes his life worth living

Plus not a goose boy but he's too interesting to not mention lol

• Patrick is protective in his own way, he may be violent but NEVER with you. He'd show you off to all his accounting colleagues, holding you close so no one can forget that he's Yours

I'm not the best writer but I hope this helped! And know that you're always loved 💖

-T

HI. THIS MADE ME WEEP PROFUSELY (IN A GOOD WAY) 😭😭

I hope you see my response, I'm sorry I didn't open my inbox for a while, but I am seeing this now and I don't have enough words to properly tell you how much this means to me. I always struggle with feeling unsafe, especially during flashbacks or nightmares or just having bad/scary memories resurface in general. Every day has been so hard. Getting reminders that my F/Os would protect me, getting this... this... this descriptive, beautiful writing about each individual character and HOW they'd protect me?? I just... 😭😭😭😭 wow... anything involving my F/Os has always helped me the most, and this, all of this?? This is just... monumental. I love this so dearly and I will always hold these words very close to my heart ;-;

You didn't even have to do this, but you did it anyway, and that means so much to me. I really appreciate you taking the time to think about this and to type all of this up. Your kindness does not go unnoticed; quite the opposite. This is one of those kindhearted asks that I will think about in the back of my head for a long time.

Driver asking permission to kiss me?? 🥺🥺 holding my hand tightly?? Ken thinking about me with hearts and sparkles slfjsdlfdf... that's so cute...!!!!! and?? and Six?? my husbanddd 😭💖💖💖 Six canonically having cptsd just like me always punches me right in the heart guts. I appreciate that you say he'd want to teach me self defense and make sure I'm safe and that he wouldn't be tired of me constantly asking for reassurance that I'm safe ;w; !!! AND AHH!!! NOAH!!! You're the first person to mention Noah in my inbox!!!!! :D One of my newest baby goose boyfriends!!! Awwww this one is so sweet. The last part about his shotgun made me laugh 😂 AND DEAN,,,ooghhg I'm in shambles. Thank you for mentioning Dean!!! 🥺🥺🥺 I love Dean sooo much. "he lives for a chance to make you laugh, it makes his life worth living" WUHWUHWUHW???? MY GOD??? 😭😭😭💖💘💖💘💕💕 and the idea of him playing for his ukulele just for me makes me swoon... these are all soooo sweet oh my goodness... you're really spoiling me, dearest anon!!!

YOU EVEN MENTIONED PAT.......... 🥺 that is so sweet. my honorary bodyguard-boyfriend-who's-not-my-boyfriend. I appreciate that you reassure me he's violent, but never with me. I do genuinely feel very safe with him (most of the time) he has helped me heal quite a bit!! It's very refreshing to be able to look at a vile, sick, twisted (FICTIONAL) villain and wholeheartedly believe they'd keep me safe at all costs. I feel like my old self again when I ship with him. "He'd show you off to all his accounting colleagues, holding you close so no one can forget that he's Yours" OH BABES I'M OBSESSED WITH THE WAY YOU WROTE THAT SENTENCE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you have the best day ever, you deserve it 😭💖💖💖!!!!!!

#anonymous #asks #keepsake #💌💐 #💕♬♪ ♡ I do nothing but think of you - ̗̀💙🔨 ̖́- #💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́- #💕♡☆ I'll always protect you ☆🖤🎆 #💕♡˚₊· Your heart is my home ☆❤️🦢♡˚₊· #💕♬♪ ♡ I fall more in love with you every day (Blue) Valentine - ̗̀💙💌🍦 ̖́- #💕♬♪ Losing you is not an option ☆🔪❤️💥

[frecklystars]

whoa wait look at these 🥺🥺

#ik its not my patty but let me imagine........................ #love notes #💕♬♪ Losing you is not an option ☆🔪❤️💥