#😮‍💨… okay… calm down Ian… it’s cool. we’re cool.

[floral-hex]

Haven’t been sleeping well because, and this is the stupidest reason, I’m so full of damnable longing. All I do is yearn and pine and want.

#I hate it! #I just want to fall in love! #not long distance. not through an app. I want to meet someone and be awkward and flirt and be messy and work for it. #I’m 35 now and I feel like I’m too old for that #which yeah I know sounds ridiculous. life goes on. I’ve got time. blah blah blah. #but I do wish I’d done the standard meeting and falling for someone in school and marrying young and having kids #all that milquetoast basic stuff #BUT IT’S NOT BASIC! I want that! I want that security and young love that just grows and grows! #can you imagine building that kind of connection with someone? #I know there’s plenty of valid criticisms towards marrying your high school sweetheart but come on… lemme dream a little #I don’t want to fill out applications online and trawl dating sites for someone! #I want the friends to awkward more than friends to maybe more to yes! please why did we wait I know you. I’ve known you. I accept you. #I want someone to know me and want me for who I am #aaaaaaaaaa I’m fucking foaming at the mouth #I can’t stop thinking about it and it makes my chest ache so much #and I feel like I’m too old for that! I have no social life! I’m not in school around other people! how could this even happen for me? #stupid! #😮‍💨… okay… calm down Ian… it’s cool. we’re cool. #I don’t want to sleep. I just want to lay in bed and imagine being in love all night. #gross. gross gross gross. #you can ignore this #goodbye forever #text