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maybeimamuppet · 2 years

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hello important things pls read!!

even if you don't read my fics this is also important for you!! pls read above the cut!! and if you do read my fics pls read below also!!

thank.

hey howdy hello and welcome!! happy holidays if you're reading this when it comes out!! and if not, then... happy day. yeeha.

ANYWAY!! i am soooo excited to share this with you guys, i've been working on this since SEPTEMBER omg. i finally get to publish and see your reactions and ugh i can't wait!!

from tomorrow until christmas, i will be updating EVERY. DAY. twenty five oneshots all at your disposal unless you're reading this in real time and have to wait for them to be published first.

and, i did it TWICE. that's right, i wrote FIFTY chapters in about two months. yes those are full suitcases under my eyes thank you for noticing.

FOR FOLKS WHO ARE JUST HERE FOR CHAOS AND DONT READ MY STUFF: i’ll be tagging all of these as “cadvent” so if you’re not in the mood to scroll a bit (i will be putting most of the fics under the cut like i normally do, kind of like this, but even still) feel free to block that tag :) and happy holidays!!

hello my darling readers!! welcome to below the cut. i’m imagining we’re all huddling under a parachute together like in elementary school pe rn. so fun.

anyway. every day there will be two new chapters!! one will be ‘vanilla’ cadnis, or the one without my twin oc’s leo and layla, and one will be with the twins. ill specify which in the title and opening notes :) i decided to do each twice because i had so many ideas and i know that kid/family fics are not everyone’s vibe. feel free to read both (please i beg i worked so hard) but if kidfic isn’t your kind of thing i understand.

credits for all the prompts go to bidiboop on wattpad!! i'm about four years late to this but whatever i wanna do it so i'm doin it now. rock n roll. thank you for the beautiful list!!

also!!!! some important shoutouts before we get into this beautiful holiday monstrosity. to my irl friends Kween, Nerd, and BeepBop, as well as @etchedstars and @/julez_20 on wattpad . thank you for letting me vent about this and/or for giving me ideas <333

and last but most definitely not least thank you to my friend bread @/paloma-nymph on wattpad or @/deadbreadrunning on ao3. this would not have happened without you. thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support and inspiration. and also for making my beautiful covers :) also!!!!! they also did fifty chapters with the same prompts i'm using!!! bread did 25 days of heathers ships and 25 days of mean girls ships so everyone please go support my friend!!

before we get into the fics themselves, i wanted to give y'all some important information that i may or may not have included and didn't give context for (i can't remember!! so. have this.)

-to begin with!! this timeline is all sorts of wack. they do not go in chronological order at all even a little bit.

in an attempt to make things easier i'll put the rough ages cadnis are and the rough ages the twins are in the opening notes of each chapter (bearing in mind that- in my timeline anyway- janis' birthday is in october and cady's is in february, so janis is a bit older)!! i may not have gotten the ages exactly correct bc i cannot do math!!! but give or take a year they're accurate. and even still there's a few little contradictions and things. but shhhh if we don't look too close maybe they'll go away.

-characters!! y'all know the ones in canon (i should hope) but here are some of the ones you might see mentioned:

-Elvira Sarkisian-Heron: Cadnis' pet black cat, adopted about a year after they were married. Occasionally goes by the nickname Ellie

-Daffodil Sarkisian-Heron: Cadnis' pet golden retriever, adopted after Cady completed her PhD when they were 26. Occasionally goes by the nickname Daffy

-Chip Heron: Cady's dad

-Betsy Heron: Cady's mom

-Rhys Heron: Cady's older brother, deceased. He was killed in the line of combat in the army when he was twenty and Cady was ten

-Juliette Sarkisian: Janis' mom. Occasionally goes by the nickname Ettie

-Luca Sarkisian: Janis' dad, deceased. He passed away from an illness when Janis was four. He's also French, that's kind of important

-Juliana Sarkisian: Janis' younger half sister. She was born when Janis was six. Occasionally goes by the nicknames Julie, Jules or Juju

-Pancakes Sarkisian: Janis' pet cat. She had him from the ages of 13-21

-Layla Reese Sarkisian-Heron: The elder twin (by three minutes). Louder, braver, and bigger in just about every sense. Occasionally goes by the nicknames Ladybug, Bug, Lala, or Loopsy

-Leo Juliette Sarkisian-Heron: The younger twin. Shy, quiet, but an absolute sweetheart. Occasionally goes by the nicknames Bumblebee, Bee, Lolo, or Lishy

-Elmer Sarkisian-Heron: Layla's stuffed elephant, received as a gift from Damian and Aaron when she was born

-Georgie Sarkisian-Heron: Leo's stuffed giraffe, also given to her by Damian and Aaron when she was born

other important shit (highly recommend reading my main book if you want more deeeeetails)

-cadnis got together on cady's birthday their senior year of high school (february 11)

-they did long distance for the first two years of university (janis was in new york and cady stayed in illinois. cady finished her undergrad in two years instead of the traditional four, and moved in with janis and damian in new york when they were 20 ish to start working on her master's degree)

-they got engaged right after janis finished her undergrad and cady finished her masters and they were ~22

-the twins' birthday is in may (may 14), so at their youngest they're six going on seven months old here :)

-cady and janis were 28 when the twins were born

-cady carried them

-the twins were born premature by almost two months and spent roughly a month in the nicu

-while cady was pregnant they developed twin to twin transfusion syndrome (in a nutshell, it's when two babies sharing a placenta in the womb don't share nutrients/blood/fluids/etc evenly and it can be deadly to both) and required surgery

and i believe that is everything!! hopefully but who knows lol.

anyway, without further ado...

happy holidays yall :)

#cadnis #cady heron x janis sarkisian #cady x janis #paint by numbers #space safari #cady heron #janis sarkisian #damian hubbard #regina george #gretchen wieners #karen smith #aaron samuels #mean girls #mean girls musical #mean girls broadway #mean girls the musical #'mean girls on broadway #cadvent

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theworldsoul · 3 years

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Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol

:readmore:

Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.

I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.

I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!

I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.

And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???

What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???

Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?

Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????

I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...

Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...

Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.

And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.

But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????

They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.

Why.

Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!

you wanna know what he made me?

dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?

He made me feel.

That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.

It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"

ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS

Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.

My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.

Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!

Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!

Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)

.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.

I think I would cry.

Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...

Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???

#ughhh #parent your fucking kids #religious bullshit #adults dont fuck up the children you are in charge of challenge #religion don't fuck up trans kids challenge #good dick really breaks a motherfucker #vent

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