#''please come back and burglarize my hidden kingdom whenever you like''

[redbootsindoriath]

Knowing Bilbo’s effect on elvenkings and elven lords (and elves in general), it’s probably just as well Thingol never made it to the Third Age.  He wouldn’t have stood a chance.

Transcription:

[Thingol:] “...” [Bilbo:] “...” FIVE MINUTES LATER [Thingol:] “Everyone, meet Bilbo.  He is my own personal hobbit and anyone who so much as threatens to harm him shall die, no questions asked.  He has looted the royal storehouses twice so I’ve decided to make him my new foster son.”

#bilbo #thingol #the man the myth the legends #beowulf except everybody is short #three shinies #canon is great and all but what if #my trash #is this actually funny or am i just tired #i'm sorry professor tolkien #/end classification tags #move over túrin you've been replaced #by someone one tenth your height #with furry little rabbit feet and no evil curse #honestly tho thingol would have broken down in about thirty seconds i think #bilbo would rob him blind and thingol would just be like ''this is the best thing that's ever happened to me'' #''please come back and burglarize my hidden kingdom whenever you like'' #''bring your friends if you have any'' #...and then third age finrod would show up and be like ''HOLY VALAR YOU KNOW ABOUT HOBBITS TOO??''