#'heehee funny food-theme magical girl au' is just the tip of the iceberg

[popatochisssp]

Is there a story for the mahou au?

Not a fully fleshed-out one, at least in terms of a published (or planned to be published) multi-chapter fic, or anything, but there's a pretty solid plot to it and a few stray scenes and drabbles I've written, mostly self-indulgent sona/skeleton content but y'know lol

Basically, things go like this…

Here's Ebott City. It's chilling. 'Damn, that is a sweet city,' you might say--wrong!

Jasper and Pyre show up out of nowhere at the Hero Association one day because they (but mostly Pyre) are being recruited by a suspicious evil organization and the only way to escape assimilation is to join the other team instead.

There's systems in place for this kinda thing at least, protocol for bad guys who want a redemption arc, but maybe don't want to serve a jail sentence for all the crimes and property damage and whatnot--glorified community service, paying the city back by being a hero (with garnished wages) under the supervision of an established and trustworthy existing hero.

So as a villain, you need somebody to vouch for you, who'll be held accountable if you're a liar or try to weasel out of your debt to society early.

No problem for Pyre, who's been Papyrus' rival for forever, and Papyrus has only been trying to convince Pyre to change his ways since their very first grand battle, so he's totally hyped to be his sponsor.

It's a bit of a problem for Jasper, who is really not on great terms with any of the heroes, and there's a rule about only taking on one liability at a time so the least of all the evils (Papyrus) is not an option. He ends up with Sky as the second least evil, and he's a brutal taskmaster who refuses to let Jasper skip out on hero training or cut corners or run away from his fears and commitments and responsibilities.

He…may try to literally run, at least once, in the middle of the night, when the 'oh god what am i doing here, i can't be a hero, i can't hack it' hits and nobody will try to stop him because everybody's asleep…except justice never sleeps, and Sky had a feeling he was gonna pull something like this and a midnight ass-kicking is a clear enough message to Jasper that he's gotta see this one through (or else).

So that's them for awhile, going about business as usual and mostly spinning their wheels on this villain conspiracy thing, having random encounters with bad guys who are suddenly coordinating with each other and doing things that don't make sense, old faces and new ones and nobody can figure out what's going on or why--just that it's probably bad.

The worse things get, the more involved Papy gets with hero business until he can longer hide it from his brother, who is understandably not happy. Slate was under the impression that Papy was in nursing school and going out to study groups with friends, but he's back with the Hero Association? Again? Without him? Uncool, he doesn't appreciate being played for a chump, and after what happened to them (to their whole team) how can he still want to do this?

Alas, Papy's a do-gooder through and through and couldn't stand sitting on the sidelines, so he doesn't regret going back. He does regret lying about it, that was poorly done, but he just didn't think Slate would understand--and he was right, he doesn't!

But the disagreement between the veteran heroes is put on hold when Ell shows up out of the blue, claiming he has information about the Villains' Cabal that they ought to be very interested in. They don't know what to make of him at first and question his credibility--especially when he says he wants them to help him extract a known villain from the ranks in exchange for his info--but when he name-drops King, Slate and Papy are suddenly paying quite a lot of attention and insisting to see what he's found.

Ell is the first real lead they've gotten since all of this started happening (much bigger than the tiny clues and mysterious messages they've been receiving from Nobody) and he has loads of evidence: bank records, news clippings, photos--and stars above, it's true, there he is, that's King and his brother Brick, Slate and Papy's former teammates behind this all, and Ell still isn't quite able to say what they're planning but the fact it's them means it's big and it's bad.

So alright then, all hands on deck for this one, all petty squabbles and disagreements left at the door until business is handled.

They plan a raid on one of the Cabal's facilities, intending to infiltrate and access the computer systems directly where Ell will have a much better chance of finding more specifics about The Big Evil Plan. It's just an outpost, should be an easy enough mission, main crew will cause a distraction while a smaller team slips off to get the goods.

Except nobody was expecting the Big Bad and his even bigger right-hand man to actually be there, and that throws a pretty nasty wrench in things.

Everyone gets a harrowingly serious smackdown and they make it out in one piece only because they were allowed to escape--one last favor from King to his former teammates.

So they regroup.

Ell got distracted in the middle of his hacking when Merc showed up and he gave chase, ultimately leading to badly corrupted data when a failsafe activated and he was away from the terminal and unable to counteract it in time. And it was a waste anyway, because Merc didn't want to be saved, he wanted King to accomplish his goal which--between the usable data and King's own villain monologuing words--they finally know.

He's found an ancient artifact with unfathomable power beyond mortal ken, and he's going to use it to steal away the mahou magic from everyone in the world, absorbing it all into himself instead.

So that's not good! One kind of mahou powers in one person with bad intentions is enough to cause some serious trouble, but for one person to have all of them? They can't let that happen, it'll be a disaster!

But the data they retrieved is corrupted, even with Ell's best efforts to find something useful on it, he's only able to recover the when and the how: the details of the artifact and the dark ritual that's going to be performed, and when, specifically, it's all going to go down.

But where? King has dozens of compounds scattered all around the globe, maybe even hundreds, and they have no way of knowing which it will be and to get there in time to stop anything.

…And that's about when Nemo pays them a visit, in person this time, since it's nearly the eleventh hour and his usual anonymous cryptic hints weren't going to cut it with so much on the line.

They doubt him, naturally, even more than they doubted Ell because he's a villain, he's high up in the organization if he really has been entrusted with this information, why should they believe he's not trying to get them in the wrong place at the right time?

Nemo removes his mask, showing his face for the first time in years and admits that he's doing it for his brother.

Only the old guard recognize him and know he's talking about Pitch, but the rest still doubt because that guy doesn't need any protecting.

But 'protecting' isn't what Nemo's trying to do, really…maybe 'rein in' is a better word. Pitch has spent the years since his injury looking for greater, bigger, more dangerous thrills and it's been hard for Nemo to watch, much less participate. Even knowing he's bull-headed and reckless by nature and that'll probably never change, if you could stop your brother from doing one really stupid thing…wouldn't you?

Ell, with his confrontation with Merc still fresh in his mind, decides to trust him. And as the resident stubborn, paranoid, conspiracy nut, most of the rest figure that if he thinks Nemo's on the level, he probably is.

They get ready for the final showdown and hope like hell they didn't put their trust in the wrong guy.

They didn't.

Merc is guarding the compound when they arrive, and he's never far from his benefactor so they know they've got the right place. He's still a hell of an obstacle, so it's good news with bad news, but Ell volunteers to fight/distract him while the others go on.

Pitch is the next layer of security and much more of a problem. Even when they tell him that King's planning to steal away everyone's mahou powers, including his, he doesn't back down--he doesn't need his powers to fight, the only thing he can see resulting from this is people working harder to be formidable with what they've got, shaking up the status quo, and he's very much on board with that.

He's outnumbered but still somehow not outmatched and having the time of his life against so many opponents. Bring it on! Who's next?

And Nemo steps out of the shadows, taking his place in front of him.

It makes the manic grin drop off Pitch's face for sure, making him falter because what… he doesn't… He doesn't want to fight Nemo… But Nemo's not backing down either--Pitch is going to have one opponent until this is all over, and it'll be him.

The rest keep going while they fight, time is running out, the ritual will be getting underway about now.

The heroes bust into the inner-sanctum in time to see Mal and Rus having it out, arguing over the Ancient Artifact which Mal is trying to put into place and Rus is trying to wrest away from him.

Rus has been thinking about this and he doesn't want to do it, he doesn't want to lose his mahou powers, he feels like he's supposed to have them, and even if he didn't, it shouldn't be one person's call to decide that for everybody!

Mal is totally blindsided and at literally the worst possible time, he's pissed…but when King shoves his brother hard and takes the Artifact to just do it himself, he breaks rank too.

It may be horrible timing for Rus' independent streak and it may be fucking up all of Mal's plans, but damn it, he's proud, and nobody pushes his brother around, not without hearing from him!

So the heroes have a couple of new allies (?), and they're going to need them because King is beginning the ritual and his giant brute of a bodyguard isn't going to let anyone get close without a hell of a fight.

Brick doesn't pull any punches, a solemn single-minded enforcer quashing all attempts to slip by him and stop what's happening.

Merc and Ell stumble in together--Ell finally broke through Merc's shell with a lot of 'this isn't you' and 'you don't need his help, you don't need to get rid of this part of you, we can still be heroes, like you always wanted'--but even the added bodies don't help turn the tide.

Brick's too strong, and the Artifact is working, everyone in the room is gradually weakening as their mahou magic is taken and transferred to King.

A last ditch effort, Slate and Papy plead with the massive wall of bone that used to be their friend, begging him to see reason and stop his brother before it's too late, before he destroys himself with this mad quest.

When Brick is unmoved and only signs that King is strong and can handle it, that's when they realize.

King had kept something back from Brick, about this ritual.

A mortal body could only handle so much of a mahou power before burning out. It took too much, it wasn't sustainable, and to take on that power from others too only heightened the risk to the person who held it.

To take all the mahou, from everyone in the world…

It was a death sentence.

If King did this, he'd be dead in a week, no matter how strong he was.

And that's finally enough to give Brick pause, to make him look to King, standing there with the Ancient Artifact, overseeing the ritual that would let him do the thing he'd been crowing about for years, ever since they all got hurt that day. He expects his brother to explain his grand plan again, to boast about how he's being the biggest damn hero in the world and turning a million little burdens into one big one that he'll shoulder by himself, that he's powerful and he can take it and everything will be better.

Except…King is silent.

Because it's true, and he knew, he'd known all along that this would kill him in the end, but it was a necessary sacrifice to him because when he died, the mahou would die with him.

And as Brick realizes this, horror and rage mingling to know that his selfless selfish idiot of a brother was really going to let him help him kill himself, he opens his mouth for the first time anyone can remember.

The sound is cracking and strained, red sparks of magic flying from the jagged crack in his throat and the scowl on his face takes a pained edge, but it doesn't stop him from growling the words.

"fu--uc-k…..tha-a-t."

And then, it's really on.

It's a clash of titans between Brick and King, one larger than life and furious and the other fueled by desperation and with an ever increasing trickle of everyone else's mahou abilities, both refusing to back down.

The weakened, beaten down heroes (and villains [?]) help where they can, and between them all…

They win.

They get the Artifact away from King, and Brick doesn't hesitate to crush it to pieces underfoot, and with its destruction all of the stolen mahou energies burst back, rebounding to where they belong in a flash of light and crackle of magic.

While everyone celebrates and cheers, King is left on his knees in the wreckage of everything he'd spent so long building, his hopes and dreams once again (literally, this time) shattered on the floor.

In disbelief, devastated, all King can do is say that he was going to fix it, he was going to fix everything--how could Brick do this?

But for Brick it's no great mystery. He did what he did for the same reason King was trying to do what he was trying to do.

'because i love you too much to let you be hurt again.'

And that was always King's problem: too much love, too much self-sacrifice, and not enough trust in other people to take care of themselves and do the right thing.

…But Brick is here, helping him up off the floor, and Slate and Papy are right behind him, his old team back together again, tired and battered and relieved just like they always were after a rough fight and it's…

It's too much.

For the first time since King killed Undyne, he finally cries.

"I…JUST……… I WANTED………"

He's not sure anymore.

"I WANTED TO FIX IT…"

"We Still Can."

"keyword 'we'. not just you going off by yourself all half-cocked like usual, ya hotshot. thought you'd have grown outta that by now…"

'never. stupid. always been stupid, always be stupid.'

"heheheh, yeah that sounds right."

"Slate, Don't Be Rude, We Haven't Seen Them In Years, You Can't Be Your Usual Self Until It's Been At Least A Few Hours!"

"oh are we not counting king's monologue? i thought that put us over the edge…"

"No, Monologues Don't Count, They're Necessary Exposition For The……….."

And god damn it, it feels so normal, it feels like nothing ever happened, like it's just the team ribbing and bickering like they always did, and King feels so young, so stupid, so…warm.

Stars, what a mess this all is…

The celebrating heroes all around them start remembering that the guy who started all this is still here, still not knocked out or apprehended, and the sudden increasing trickle of attention and eyes on the group at the center of the room cuts their reunion a little short.

"Go On, You'd Better Get Out Of Here Before Someone Tries To Arrest You!"

"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO…?"

"I Was Thinking Instead, You'd Take a Swing At Slate, And Dodge When I Fire On You Center-Mass After He Goes Down, And Then Grab Brick's Harness And Yell Something About Him Being An Incompetent Buffoon Who Would Pay For Betraying You Or Something. And Then You Run Off To One Of Your Evil Lairs That Our Conspiracy Theorist Hacker Friend Doesn't Know About."

Brick squints and mouths 'incompetent buffoon???' but King is more focused on the important part.

"I… YOU'RE LETTING US GO?"

"not if you're not quick about it, it's gonna get suspicious if you take too much longer." Slate shrugs with a quick wink. "we'll find you later, to talk more. you know i got my ways."

And that's pretty much how it goes down.

Brick and King escape in a flair of dramatic theatrics, and not many of the onlookers buy it, but Slate and Papy are experienced veterans, whatever they're doing they probably know what it is…

Merc and Ell approach the heroes together with matching pleading looks, hoping to get Merc a spot on the team too--and well, he'll have to join on the community service basis, y'know, because of the crimes, but that's not a problem at all! They finally get to be heroes together, after all this time!

Mal and Rus approach a little more tentatively, Rus hopeful and Mal visibly annoyed.

"can i do the community service whatever too???"

"uh…yeah, i guess… what about him?"

"WHAT ABOUT ME? THE OTHER OPTION'S JAIL, RIGHT?"

"yeah."

"THEN I GUESS I'M FUCKING DOING THE COMMUNITY SERVICE WHATEVER!"

Pitch and Nemo are gone for a long time, completely disappeared off the map and nobody really knows what happened to them, never saw the end of their fight or what they did after, but ages after everything goes down, they're back--and they want in on the hero racket too.

Even with a reserve squad lingering around the base, Nemo's always thought the Hero Association's security is lacking, and he can help with that. As for Pitch, he's done some thinking, and he thinks he'd be a damn good coach for newbies with wild, unpredictable powers, y'know since he's so wild and unpredictable himself and always excited for a new challenge.

Well, stars help them all, fine, hope they don't regret this but welcome aboard to you too!

No one ever sees Brick and King again…or at least, nobody who'll admit to having seen them.

Slate and Papy, both officially reinstated heroes again, tend to drop off the radar every now and again and when they come back they always seem to have new and very thoroughly discussed ideas for improvements in hero training, health care, therapy and rehabilitation programs, plus a healthy cash-flow to actually make it happen.

Where the money comes from, it's impossible to say…but it might be the same mysterious benefactor that's funneling money into environmental programs, and social reform, and a dozen other causes all over Ebott, making change in small but measurable, meaningful ways.

A happy ending? Maybe not exactly…but it's not exactly an ending either, just…a new way forward.

A way where people can learn to live with their powers, to accept themselves as they are with the resources to help them when they get in over their heads.

An imperfect solution for an imperfect world, but maybe a little bit better every day.

#anonymous #headcanons #mahou au #the gang's all here #do you see now #do you see the extent of brainrot i have about this au #'heehee funny food-theme magical girl au' is just the tip of the iceberg #it's nonsense all the way down