#'i dont like this because while it IS something that happens under abuse it detracts from the fantasy where the kids all win together'

[theygender]

Yeah sure growing up abused may have left me with permanent scars on my psychological state that I'm still working to unpack, but on the bright side it gave me the ability to give a thoughtful in depth analysis of Roald Dahl's Matilda and all of its adaptations

#rambling #i love matilda so much. its such an important story to me. its literally just an abused childs power fantasy #where she gets to get back at the people who hurt her and protect other kids and then get a new loving family and everything is alright #my gf and i just watched the movie adaptation of the musical and we have Opinions on it. some good and some bad #so weve been discussing it and analyzing different parts of it #and its kinda nice to get to use my history for something good #to be able to give thoughtful analysis on how the changes they made in this adaptation have changed the allegory for abuse in the story #from the perspective of someone who grew up with that #and to just. have that be normal. my gf knows my history and its not gonna stop the conversation if i say #'this change works well for trunchbull's character bc it makes her seem more like a real life abuser' #'this detail is very subtle but it really captures some tiny part of the experience of growing up with an abuser' #'i dont like this bc it detracts from the narrative of the main character feeling alone and makes it less relatable to abused kids' #'i dont like this because while it IS something that happens under abuse it detracts from the fantasy where the kids all win together' #idk. of course everything that happened to me as a kid was awful and should not have happened but like #for a long time i had this problem where i didnt know how i was ever supposed to be okay about that #like no matter how much therapy i go through it will never UN-happen. it will always still have happened and it will always have been awful #and i couldnt figure out how i was supposed to recover from that besides 'bury it and try your hardest to never ever think about it' #and. i think maybe this is it. yes the abuse i went through was awful. thats kind of the whole thing about abuse #but. its also just a fact of my life. im better NOW. but that will not change what happened then #the abuse was awful. but the fact that i am an abuse survivor is a neutral fact. the same as any other fact from my childhood #its just a fact. a part of my past. and maybe being able to talk about it that way is... good for me #i dont have to break down when i think about it bc im okay now. my partner doesnt need to stop me and express sorrow for me bc im okay now #i can talk about my past in a neutral way and use my life experience to analyze movies #the same way that i used my experience of growing up in arkansas to analyze hollywood hillbillies when we watched it together #theyre both just two facts of my life. and analyzing movies is fun #that woman has no power over me anymore and hasnt for many many years. im okay now #abuse mention #child abuse mention #request to tag