#(and i could comfort them when they struggle w flashbacks or triggers or just plain and simple difficult days)

[dandyshucks]

i think it is a little bit funny (not necessarily haha funny but like a "huh. thats something." sort of funny) that the two main F/Os of mine (Guz and Julian) both have abusive parents fnfkdl like ,,, idk i guess like attracts like but ough theres something about that that makes me feel a little bit "this probably says too much about me" dbdkdkl (also the mk system,, and one could make an argument for the celestial robots too tbh with how theyre treated at the company djdksl)

#its been a day fhdksl #my mother is getting into some stuff that rly fucks w my brain and easily sets off psychosis symptoms so im ... ack! #im trying very hard to keep those thinking patterns out of reach and keep myself tethered but hough its gonna be a bit interesting here #the difficult thing w this is that it is impossible to disprove a lot of the thoughts and beliefs that come into play with these topics #not that arguing with delusions does any good generally speaking (and only harms usually) but ... argh ! frustrating ! #and by beliefs i mean delusions here. i do not want to argue with spiritual/religious beliefs djdksl esp if theyre not hurting anyone #i want to argue with my shitty brain trying to convince me that [redacted] is true (not going to say just in case it sets other ppl off) #and then when u throw double bookkeeping into the mix... well. now ur well and truly fucked djdkdl #ANYWAYS. it is struggle momence over here now eeyikes! #the comforting thought ''my f/o would understand my situation and would have their own experiences to draw from to know how to comfort me'' #(and i could comfort them when they struggle w flashbacks or triggers or just plain and simple difficult days) #i would never want anyone to go thru this bc it is absolute hell and nobody should ever experience this. but... #there is comfort in knowing somebody else Understands bc they've been thru it too (or similar enough that they get it) #abuse tw #vent // #for the tags mostly djfkdl #dandy.cmd

[musashi]

Your author notes: Jessie is nuerodivergent! TV Tropes person: is this a joke?

RIGHT like………. its such a struggle because when writing a fantasy universe i don’t realistically expect them to use the same terms that we do here… i struggle esp w/ autism because i personally believe that the pokemon world is absolutely rich with autistics because its so nurturing of them and in fact it’s considered a blessing if you’re born autistic dfhfg… 

and also i just don’t see any point wherein the narration could really point out that jessie has BPD & james & ash are autistic…. in the case of all of them it is relevant to harry’s story but i feel as though those diagnoses are told plain and simple through the actions of the characters like. 

james can’t look people in the eyes, and it’s frequently pointed out as something unsettling when he does. he looks jessie in the eyes once and she immediately banks her fire because it’s so wrong, she knows he must be terrified. i don’t doubt i missed a few out of force of habit, but every time the romance calls for them to make passionate eye contact, the narration tends to point out that they’re looking past each other, and the intimacy in it is that jessie loves james enough to meet him at a level where he’s comfortable. 

bottlecap collecting is one of his special interests and when his parents invoked quiet hands on him he turned to the sounds & feeling of said bottlecaps as a way to stim freely & without being punished. there’s a whole ass paragraph in 12 about the physical rush he gets from doing this. he goes nonverbal in the beginning of 16, and jessie & meowth’s reactions to him going nonverbal pretty clearly imply that it’s a situation they’re used to–they have protocol for it, they know how to communicate with him, they work like a well oiled machine to do so.

his PTSD meshes with this and i literally refer to chimecho as both a service pokemon and an emotional support pokemon. james experiences flashbacks and triggers in detail, multiple times the narrative in front of him disappears and he finds himself back in a darker place and needs help to ground himself back in reality. james’ PTSD is a major plot point. it’s the main conflict between him & the single pokemon he raises from the ground up in DTE. i could not make it clearer that james has PTSD. i’m pretty sure i use the term ‘post-trauma’ in 11, actually.

jessie’s abandonment issues might be average on their own but when you couple them with all the other symptoms of borderline personality disorder i purposefully write them with it really takes a lot of balls to deny she has the disorder. it’s normal to, after being abandoned by more than a few people who love you, fear abandonment to a degree that it impacts you. it is not normal to completely cut off friendships and abandon your friends because you’re desperate to control the narrative. that’s what jessie does in DTE–she sees james talking to some other girl, one she’s never even seen before. the sight of this with no other factors panics her so much that she becomes completely delusional with the idea that she’s going to lose her favourite person, so she bolts in an attempt to lose him on her own terms.

her fierce self-love is a product of the world telling her that no one would ever love her. her anger is a shield, both to keep predators away and to keep anyone from loving her too deeply because god forbid she love them back, and god forbid they leave. her reckless belief that nothing can hurt her is a form of self-harm, unstable relationships are all she has in her past. she’s a beaten puppy who became a wolf–not out of preference, but out of necessity.

at the peak of jessie’s character arc she runs into the woods, screaming at the top of her lungs in utter and complete despair, and punches every tree in her general vicinity until her fists break and bleed. she cusses out all three of her best friends, threatens to hurt them, and then proceeds to literally attempt fighting a major deity. i get that i am writing in a cartoon universe, but i think i made it pretty clear that jessie is not neurotypical!!!! and any brief perusal of the DSM would bring you to her diagnosis pretty quickly. or at LEAST to cluster b as a whole, which she might as well be the poster child of.

it’s rough because i’ve never believed in authorial intent. i think that what is in the story is what is canon, and nothing i say outside of it is anything more than a headcanon any other fan could have. but it’s also a little frustrating to write IN DETAIL that my characters are nd, write from experience (i’m autistic and have BPD and PTSD!!!! and i wrote that into jessie and james on purpose!!!! and i always intended to!!!) and STILL have people be like “the author thinly implied that–”

it feels weird to complain about because the fact that i even have a TVtropes page is fuckin wild to me fdhgf like i should just be grateful people are talking about my work at all but… y’all i literally partially wrote DTE out of spite because i was mad that all the rocketfic was cishet & didn’t talk about how brainfucked they are. a huge part of writing DTE was me wanting to show that they’re Just Like Me.

#dteblogging #goosebytrade #wendy answers