#(everyone expects eva to full-on deck her but she never does. heather lives in constant fear of eva's free shot.)

[total-drama-brainrot]

Alenoaheather grabbed me by the throat and body slammed me through 15 consecutive buildings a week ago and it is entirely your fault/lh

But I was thinking about the incredible Fake Dating AU y’all were putting together and had a question, then realized I could just ask the question because it’s ✨Tumblr✨. But what do you think would’ve happened if Izzy wasn’t there when Noah passed out at the gym with Eva? Like, imagine Alejandro and Heather bust into the gym, but because of Eva’s awkward ass self(I love her sm) it genuinely just seems like she knocked out Noah. How would you expect the scenario to play out after that, because I do imagine that Aleheather wouldn’t be happy about seeing Noah laid out like a starfish-

My apologies 😔 (I'm not sorry 😈). /lh

The idea of Eva holding up a passed out Noah by the collar of his undershirt, all but looming over him in her desperation to get him to wake the fuck up, only to have both Heather and Alejandro burst into the room and misconstrue the situation entirely is so fucking funny to me. Thank you for the mental image, anon.

Because Eva has aggression practically woven into the threads of her character; she speaks aggressively, se thinks aggressively, and we all know she acts aggressively. Even when she's trying to be gentle she's always going to be rough around the edges, so it'd genuinely look like she's about to pummel an unconscious Noah into nerd-paste. Without Izzy there as a mitigating force, Eva wouldn't have the eloquence to properly explain the situation before AleHeather jump to conclusions and act accordingly.

Which would mostly be Heather trying to beat the shit out of Eva, physical discrepancies be damned, as Alejandro scoops up their partner bridal style and fusses over the 'damsel' in the situation.

Because, out of the two of them, Heather's always been the more physically aggressive one. She's not afraid to start throwing hands- of course, Heather's more likely to attack others with her words, but she's never shied away from a more hands-on approach to conflict. Whereas Alejandro, for all of his displays of physical prowess, doesn't ever really use his strength in a hostile way (his boxing math with José non-withstanding), and he's far too much of a gentleman to ever hit a woman.

So Eva would be staving off an irate Heather, who's trying to claw her eyes out or something, using her superior muscle mass to (as gently as she can) subdue Heather so she could explain herself. But 'fighting back' only makes Eva look worse to the pair, and any explanations she'd try to offer would be all but drowned out by Heather's enraged screaming, falling on deaf ears. Eva really doesn't want to hurt Heather, so she'd hold back the majority of her overwhelming strength, but Heather would interpret that as Eva looking down on her which would only serve to fuel her anger.

Meanwhile, Alejandro and his saviour complex would be trying to resuscitate Noah from his overexertion coma (previously established; Noah goes sicko mode on a punching bag and his noodly ferret body couldn't handle the strain of physical effort), though half of his attention would be diverted towards Heather going beast mode on Eva- either because he'd be genuinely concerned/alarmed by her ferocity, or because Alejandro seems like the type of guy who'd find Heather going feral kind of hot (whichever's funnier).

Eventually Heather would either tire herself out and Eva could attempt to blunder her way through an explanation- under the dual judgemental/seething glares of AleHeather- to mixed results, OR Noah would wake up, have a 'what the fuck is going on here' moment, and quickly clear up the confusion in his patented know-it-all way. That is to say, insulting everyone involved for their incompetency whilst ignoring his own pivotal role in the disagreement, and then explaining that he and Eva are cool now. (He'd probably be a dick about it to; "We're besties, me and Eva are having a sleepover tonight and we're going to talk about Boys and Shoes and Makeup and you're not invited." Noah can't stop being a sarcastic jester-coded prick for more than one scene or else he'll implode.)

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Of course, this is all just speculation. I expect @perpetualexistence has plenty of their own thoughts to add to this hypothetical, as the adoptive 'co-parent' of this AU!

This is mostly just me pushing my "AleNoah ask for no pickles, Heather's the one who confronts the cashier when they get pickles" Alenoaheather dynamic. Heather the girlboss and her two cringefail, pathetic-pilled boyfriends. She's the only one of the three who can be direct with her misgivings (Noah is blunt, sure, but he skirts around confrontation- see his reaction to Alejandro's comment in "I See London..."). Also a not-so-subtle nod towards Alejandro always prioritising being the 'hero who rescues the damsel' over the 'hero who confronts the villain', which is literally just canon. The guy's not confrontational despite being manipulative- the puppet master works behind the curtains, after all. (The only time I can think of him ever directly confronting someone is, again, his comment to "Noah in I See London...", which is less of an accusation and more of a pointed comment.)

#the girls are fightinggggg ✨ #if eva and heather actually had a proper fight eva would fold her ass like laundry. no contest. #not that heather isn't also a forced to be reckoned with. but it's EVA. #they'd eventually sort out the beef between them but i think eva would ask for one free shot against heather as compensation for the attack #(everyone expects eva to full-on deck her but she never does. heather lives in constant fear of eva's free shot.) #(eva's never gonna use it. she just likes watching heather sweat.) #fake dating au #alenoaheather #total drama #td eva #td heather #td alejandri #td noah #character analysis #silly ideas #replies