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spricket-central · 9 months

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this is a memorial for a little bug who changed my life; this is a memorial for Crouton.

i first met Crouton on the night of december 6th, 2022. i had been toying with the idea of keeping some sprickets as pets, but hadnt quite committed yet.

not until that one rainy night.

she was a tiny thing, sitting on my bedside table. normally i would have released her outside upon capturing her, but... it was so rainy, and she was so little...

she spent the night in a plastic tupperware that i had mangled the lid of in order to make some oversized air holes (that i just had to hope she wouldnt escape through), with nothing inside but a paper towel lining, a little hide made of a toilet paper roll, a plastic bottle cap with a wet cotton ball in it, and some wheat bran and a tiny bit of apple that id put on another scrap of toilet paper tube.

the next day, i went straight to the pet shop for supplies. i got her a proper tank and some proper food, made a primitive setup, and placed her into her new home.

less than a week later, i ended up finding two adult sprickets, Biscuit and Cookie. because Crouton was so much smaller than them, i relocated her to a smaller tank where she could live until she was grown enough to live with the adults.

and grow she did! she even had a younger roommate for a while, a young girl named Breadcrumb, but i ended up separating them as well, this time for Breadcrumbs safety!

Crouton was a shy little thing as a nymph. while the adults could be seen out and about now and then during the day, Crouton remained hidden. a Crouton sighting was a rare thing indeed! but as her body grew, so did her confidence. she would always be skittish (as all sprickets are), but in her adult life she was considerably more present, going for occasional little strolls during the day, and absolutely springing to life the moment the lights went out.

by the time she was old enough to join the adults, Cookie had long since passed, but Biscuit and the more recent addition to the family, Peanut, were there to join her as tankmates! the three seemed to get along quite well, from what i could tell. my favorite thing was when id peek into the tank during the day and find all three of them cuddled together in a little cluster as they snoozed in their egg carton cave.

however, Crouton would soon be alone once more. Peanut was the first to pass, followed by Biscuit soon after, both presumably of old age. but there would still be another to join her later: her former roomie, Breadcrumb, was almost done growing, and upon reaching adulthood, the pair would be reunited! the two made a dynamic duo, each with their own personalities and quirks.

Crouton had such an energetic personality. i swear, she didnt know how to walk; only how to run. when i flicked off the lights for the night, id see the wiggling of antennae from within the egg carton cave, and within moments, there was Crouton, ready to explore! often she'd do a lap or two around the tank before finally settling down to eat. her favorite food was carrot, and she was an absolute FIEND for it! i have so many videos of her voraciously chowing down on her nightly piece.

on may 28th, Crouton even became a mother. 2 months prior, i had kept a few of the eggs id collected during that weeks tank cleaning and set them aside to "incubate" in a small container of moist soil. i had collected the eggs after Biscuits death, and i wasnt even sure if he and Crouton had ever mated, let alone if the eggs id set aside that night were fertile. but, to my surprise and joy, little Poppyseed was born. being so tiny, however, she would have to live separate from her mama and "auntie Breadcrumb."

Crouton and Breadcrumb lived together for many happy months until suddenly, just a couple of days before july ended, Breadcrumb died, her condition having rapidly declined due to what i believe was a genetic condition that made her eggbound.

it would only be a little over a week until Crouton followed.

i had noticed her slowing down and had been bracing myself for this day for some time, but... well, no amount of preparation can prevent the wave of grief that comes with the loss of a loved one. not even when that loved one is a bug.

because Crouton, as with all of my sprickets, was NOT just a bug. just because they are small and so extremely different from a human or any other mammal doesnt mean one cant love them. they become a part of your life.

Crouton changed my life. she was the very first spricket i ever cared for, and inspired me to care for so many other sprickets who have come into my life, and countless others who have yet to follow. she created a lineage of love that will continue to spread long after shes gone.

she will never know how much she meant to me. to her, i was an anonymous force of nature, so frighteningly and unfathomably large. she had no way of understanding that this was a force of love, to whatever extent she could even comprehend what "love" means.

but i love her. i love her so, so much, and she brought me so much joy. i always say that love is an investment in heartbreak, and the 8 months i spent with Crouton were worth every tear im shedding. I'll miss her dearly, but i can at least take comfort knowing that i gave her a life that she could never have known without a frighteningly and unfathomably large helping hand.

Crouton, I'll always be grateful for all that youve done for me. im just a weird little monster, disabled and trying my best to recover after hitting rock bottom, and the joy you brought me has been invaluable. you helped bring meaning into a life that so often struggled to find it.

I'll take good care of your baby. I'll make sure Poppyseed grows into a beautiful little lady, just like her mama. I'll do everything i can to give her a happy life, one where she is always fed and safe and loved.

and everytime i look into her silly little cartoon dot eyes, I'll think of you. every moment that i spend loving the sprickets in my care, its me loving you too. your life may be over, but your legacy will live on.

rest easy, my beautiful baby girl. i love you so, so much. and i always will.

Crouton

12/6/2022 (caught) - 8/8/2023

#insects #pet bugs #bugblr #invert pets #crickets #camel cricket #spider cricket #cave cricket #spricket #rhaphidophoridae #crouton #memorial #pics

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