#(i still feel like there's a wall between me and others tho my avpd isnt cured skskks)

[silenthillbunni]

🐇☁️🌷🐌

#seeing her actually went so much better than i thought it would #i was so anxious but there were no issues at all #the thing is she's such a chill and understanding person she really dont care if i jumble my words or say smth wrong or whatever #i dont need to worry abt sounding 'stupid' bc she just doesnt see it that way #so yeah my anxiety disappeared pretty quick c: #(i still feel like there's a wall between me and others tho my avpd isnt cured skskks) #and it was just nice. we walked a loooot. and sat by the beach and talked #she gave me lots of tips and advice abt applying for jobs and school stuff. she doesnt judge me for being 25 and not having started yet #and she's gonna start studying next year and suggested that we could study together sometimes to motivate eo #so hmmmm maybe it went a lot better than my doom mind thought it would #i rlly do believe ppl hate me but why would she even bother talking to me then?? #so yeah it was a nice experience :3 #it's been like 6yrs since i hung out w someone that wasnt my mom and it reallyyy is good for my mental health #i still feel like ohhh this isnt the friendship im craving but there are tons of different friendships. this is nice just bc it is. #i shouldnt let myself minimize it or think it's 'not real' just bc it isnt exactly what i long for. this is good still.