#so yeah it was a nice experience :3

[silenthillbunni]

🐇☁️🌷🐌

#seeing her actually went so much better than i thought it would #i was so anxious but there were no issues at all #the thing is she's such a chill and understanding person she really dont care if i jumble my words or say smth wrong or whatever #i dont need to worry abt sounding 'stupid' bc she just doesnt see it that way #so yeah my anxiety disappeared pretty quick c: #(i still feel like there's a wall between me and others tho my avpd isnt cured skskks) #and it was just nice. we walked a loooot. and sat by the beach and talked #she gave me lots of tips and advice abt applying for jobs and school stuff. she doesnt judge me for being 25 and not having started yet #and she's gonna start studying next year and suggested that we could study together sometimes to motivate eo #so hmmmm maybe it went a lot better than my doom mind thought it would #i rlly do believe ppl hate me but why would she even bother talking to me then?? #so yeah it was a nice experience :3 #it's been like 6yrs since i hung out w someone that wasnt my mom and it reallyyy is good for my mental health #i still feel like ohhh this isnt the friendship im craving but there are tons of different friendships. this is nice just bc it is. #i shouldnt let myself minimize it or think it's 'not real' just bc it isnt exactly what i long for. this is good still.

[grahamcore]

if you’ve read a metric ton of fanfiction and had your memory of canon retroactively altered you may be entitled to financial compensation

#but fr this experience is so funny to me and it happens constantly #i once had a real convo with a friend about hannibal burning down will’s house and how i was shocked that it didn’t get brought up more #yeah that shit just straight up did not happen. i read it in a fic. #but i had been going on for i don’t know how long thinking that will’s house had burned down at some point?? i felt brainwashed #sometimes it’s helpful though. it’s nice to be able to read fix it fics and then intentionally live a lie #what do you mean hannibal and will aren’t miraculously living under the radar of the law in florence right now? yes they are. #i do this for daredevil too. season 3 ended so differently in my mind #and ESPECIALLY for the witcher because fuck that whole geralt never properly apologizing and treating jaskier like shit thing #hannibal #hannigram #daredevil #the witcher #dc

[jinstronaut]

this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh

#and i might do it again bc its just #a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc #which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow #it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag #people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just #so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what #like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao #and it never ever used to #but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly #or whatever the make believe rules are idk #this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus #bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community #and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit #bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were #i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year #but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad #once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care #ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control #i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile #and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be #a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion #so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao #why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things???? #i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just #ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand #so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time #but yeah anyways idk ! #be nice its so easy ! #tbd

[hella1975]

my mum picking me up this morning: you're not as hungover as i thought you'd be

me, just yacked in an alleyway: yeah haha

#it's 3pm now and i still cant believe that happened that was. an experience #basically my mate's 21st coincided with her sister's 30th so they both had this big joint Event last night #where they literally rented out a farm house and the field nearby and set up a whole campsite and barbeque and everything #it was really random but also really good esp bc ive been friends with this girl since we were super young #and our mums were friends so ive just got. lots of connections to her family and it was nice seeing them all again #but there was fully like 60 people at this thing and i DID drink more than i meant to but i wasn't paralytic which is good #and my hangover ISNT that bad in terms of how bad my hangovers can get #it's just that my mate's dad picked us both up at 9am this morning which was already going to be... rough #and then proceeded to do the bumpiest drive down the country lanes ive ever experienced #i was literally grinding my teeth like i am NOT about to throw up in this man's car please if there is a god do not let me throw up #and i didn't! my mum picked me up from this (thankfully very quiet) road that has this rickety old alley coming off it #and i had the very humbling moment of 'im actually going to be sick aren't i' and had to WAIT FOR AN OLD WOMAN #TO FUCKING MEANDER OUT OF THE ALLEY AND WALK FAR AWAY ENOUGH FOR ME TO AT LEAST HAVE A SHRED OF DIGNITY #and proceeded to throw up. in a public alleyway. at 9:30am on a sunday. so of course i needed to tell you guys about it #im now force feeding myself garlic bread. im going to manchester tomorrow. i have a flight at the crack of dawn on tuesday #what is even going on anymore #also fully did just do nos last night with some 30 year olds. i cannot express how fucking odd a thing that is for me to do #actually no i can express it bc youse know that im funny about drugs so for me to not even be that drunk #and get offered a fucking balloon of all things and be like 'yeah why not!' is.... odd #i know i inhaled wrong though bc it didn't do a thing which honestly im happy about <3 #hella goes home

[solarisgod]

We have been considering making a Notion page to attach to our pinned post that entails general information of OSDDID with common term use and what they mean, Q&A, maybe even suggestions on what to watch and not to watch that portray DID, and providing additional sources to look into for those who wish to learn more, so forth.

#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ OOC . › #[ I'm so passionate of OSDDID ; I can talk about it and our personal experiences with it + our systemhood all day honestly ] #[ but I think it'll be really nice and useful to have this information page for folks ] #[ to learn and understand OSDDID more along the Starwake System as who they are as a system and how we write them collectively ] #[ yeah :3 ♡ ] #[ just an idea bouncing all over in our silly lil' head ]

[the-trans-dragon]

Added a fourth ingredient to my most complicated food dish I can make >:3 I even wished I had some butter to add! Ill have to remember to buy some ^w^ I don't think I've bought butter in months

#i am doing my best as an autistic adult to learn to cook all on my own and its scary. im proud of myself for adding another ingredient! #plus this means ive had like...FOUR different types of vegetables today???? normally i eat nothing but peanut butter so heck yeah #my mom called today and i mentioned i havwnt been eating well and she scolded me and then belittled me for not knowing how to cook #and at one point she said in a belittling tone “i guess i should have taught you how to cook!” and i said “that would have been nice.” #and she was like “well no one taught me. i just figured it out on my own when i was an adult.” i did NOT mention that one of our most common #meals growing up was Plain Baked Chicken (a little lemon juice and pepper as seasonings). i know no one taught her. i know my grandma was #busy trying to cope with being a 1970s housewife in the increasingly-nuclear-family atmosphere and didnt have time to teach my mom as a kid #and i know my mom was busy working 3 jobs at once to raise me so. but still. #anyways im letting my hurbis decide to name this dish Microwave Vegetable Casserole bc there isnt really a definition for casserole that i #follow so. i can stretch that definition to include my dish. fun fact: this is a dish i invented for a pet chicken i had! now i eat it #because its tasty and easy and one of the dishes i have experience with :) i just added garlic salt today for the first time and its even #tastier than before! #sorenhoots

[arolesbianism]

Another quick drawing from last night

#keese draws #eternal gales #oc posting #oc #ocs #oc art #experimented a lil bit with giving her some more visible dark fur #I think I like it but Im gonna have to draw her a few more times to make sure I think #my main concern is that it might make her look a lil too similar to mason pattern wise #which is already smth Ive struggled with in the past lol #also yeah I <3 using brushes incorrectly #idc what the creators of any given brush intended if I can use it for funky lineart I Will use it for lineart #also yeah Ive been grabbing a bunch of free brush packs lately so thats why Im actually drawing shit again lol #tbf the glory drawing was me wanting to use a base procreate brush Ive been meaning to mess around with but I used some texture brushes too #with all my new texture brushes making bullshit backgrounds will be a breeze 👍 #oh also Ive been trying to use those dumb layer filter mode thingies for the first time lately with my shading #idk how Im feeling abt them tho tbh multiply is nice ig but I kind of dont like how it dulls out the colors sometimes #like I know it makes the shading more coherent but idk sometimes I like the more grading shading #idk can yall even tell the different dndmdkdndh #I might just be being too picky with my colors or smth I always tend to assume the worst abt my colors #anyways sceduled and now eepy time from the past and good morning future me

[apatheticlexicographer]

MOTHERFUCK i did not realize how much those antidepressants made me feel physically psychologically and dare i say spiritually like a peat mummy

literally 2 days off them and i've experienced more joy, lucidity, motivation and general good vibes than i did in the whole 2 months i was on them 😭😭

#now granted i did only sleep for 3 hours #but i felt more refreshed and energized today than i ever did when the pills forced me into 8 hours of pseudo-death a night #MY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE IS BACK TO NEVER SHUTTING TF UP #it was practically bones for so long oml #i'm usually annoyingly verbose but i was only able to say like 5 words at a time before i forgot how to end my sentence #yeah i'm prolly gonna lose the rose tinted glasses in a few days when the novelty wears off but for now #it's so nice to feel like myself and not like a lobotomized skinwalker trying to wear my own mannerisms convincingly #(obvsly they help some ppl or they wouldn't be an option to prescribe but GOD they fit my brain chemistry as well as a fork fits an outlet) #<<<<<<I CAN DO THAT AGAIN!!! I MISSED MY STUPID METAPHORS AND MY BAD PUNS AND MY SLIGHTLY OUT OF POCKET JOKES #i was fucking trying but it fundamentally doesn't work if u Try #yoda moment but whatever #yippeee #god did they fucking '''cure''' my ADHD instead of my depression #ok if this is what some ppl's experience of ADHD meds is like then the 'they made me feel like a robot' thing makes a LOT more sense #personally they just make me feel like. yk that one comic abt ADHD with the dog metaphor #yeah amphetamines my beloved let me hold the leash rather than becoming a human dogsled to the whims of my psyche #actually i think i was rather uncharitable to my current dream mask normal pills #i just happened to get mega bitch burnout for 3 months and then spend 2 in the aforementioned peat bog where souls go to die #when not impeded by outside circumstances i think they actually are completely fine #maybe not QUITE as agressively effective as my previous prescription but the ritalin was str8 up harsh #i tried it again for a week and it made my heart beat like it was being powered by a caffienated hamster #but when i used to take it i was already experiencing Real paranoid gerbil anxiety so it just kinda blended in #i only noticed the Severe Health Issue i got bundled as a side effect #and i keep having to remind myself not to go rose-tinted abt how bad it rlly was in retrospect #do i just need to leave a sticky note on my mirror like 'hey dumbass that was NOT a net positive period of ur life' #lexi stfu challenge

[fluffypichu876]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

not my sunbro...

damn you miyazaki...

#i'm so sorry my friend... it was for your sake... #given that this is dark souls i should have seen it coming but man... #HIS DEATH DIALOGUE NOOO #you should have found your sun my friend... #not a fucking bug #SERIOUSLY SOLAIRE DYING BECAUSE OF A BUG??????? #were you that desperate? #oh god i feel terrible #later i had to go to anor londo to try to find something and seeing that area around the bonfire completely desolate without solaire there #it was so fucking depressing #AND I SAW LIKE 3 DIFFERENT MESSAGES SAYING 'tears?' LIKE YEAH NO SHIT #so i left one too :') #*sigh* i miss him already #i keep letting characters die and now firelink shrine is more of a grave than a nice safe sanctuary to chat with npcs #(haha funny there's an actual graveyard there haha oh god) #ouch i just remembered that i kinda let larentius hollow #god he was so nice too #he literally trusted me with a part of himself dude wth i feel horrible #the fromsoft experience™ #i remember when i felt terrible for getting the immortal severance ending in sekiro #NOT MY BOI KURO DAMNIT #and wolf becoming a sculptor like the proof of an endless cycle of suffering that i failed to break... #god i hate that ending #*sigh* back to ds1 at least siegmeyer is still alive and jolly as ever #except he met me at firelink and said he was going somewhere and now i'm terrified that's he's just gonna die too ahahahahahah help #NOT YOU TOO ONIONBRO STAY ALIVE OR I'LL... I'LL KILL YOU #...sorry for venting in the tags #AND THE WORST OFFENDER IS THAT I HAD TO KILL HIM MYSELF FUCK #i'm so sorry my friend... my sunbro... #dark souls

[magnus-rhymes-with-swagness]

the inherent intimacy of washing paintbrushes in the sinks of the men’s bathroom in the evening with a cool person you met that day at theatre

#there are no gender-neutral bathrooms in that building and neither of us are cis #so i kinda just followed their lead and we walked right past the women’s bathroom and into the men’s which was. unexpectedly cool lol #usually we wash paintbrushes in a big loud room but we were in a different building today #so it ended up just being like. the two of us alone in a bathroom washing brushes. idk why but it was SOOO… something #maybe it’s gender stuff maybe they’re just hot idk but it was an experience of some kind or another dkdjfhg #my words #elliott’s theatre adventures #this was thursday btw #OH YEAH i almost forgot to say that before that (when we were painting) i mentioned i write and they asked about my characters #so i told them about my knight ocs AAA #i am Not that bold 90% of the time but idk it was an experience lol #granted i didn’t say a ton #just some #but still :3 #we got along well #which was nice because usually the other people i’m painting with are already friends so they mostly just talk to each other

[fangedtracks]

just got done for the day and i have a raging headache :/

#phd chatter #i have been in lab for the past six hours jesus christ #it was lab practical day so students had to run three experiments and obvi it didn't go well bc science rarely does #and i had to be like. LISTEN. science rarely ever goes how lab does!!! #ive been on a project since january ? and we are STILL confused #and one time i synthesized a molecule and i got a 0.97% yield (regular is like 40% lol) #and yeah! i failed! spectacularly! but it told me something about my system and i also worked to improve my method!! #anyway im gonna go home and make some dinner and pass the fuck out bc i am slowly becoming inhuman #oh! thé cool thing that happened tho is one of my students asked if we could take a pic #and also said that they recently came out as non-binary and thought it was cool seeing me kickass and succeed and also that i'm cool so!!! #like sorry bestie milo is like cool in theory but he thinks prime numbers are so cool and won't shut up about excel #hes actually such a fucking dweeb lmao #but it was really cool and it made me feel so much better about grad school!! #like this term has been absolute hell and i feel like i'm dying constantly but it was really cool that they said that to me :3 #also someone else was like thank you for an amazing term!! it was really nice getting to know u and ur so cool #AGAIN THANKS BUT ALSO AM I #do you think a cool person finds derivatives and integrals sexy. #anyway!! it made my heart feel so happy

[screwpinecaprice]

REGARDING MY COMMISSIONS

Just wanna post regarding my commissions since I've been asked about it a few times. I replied I'll announce it when it's reopened and people might've felt hanging as that announcement post still wasn’t made for a while now; because I haven't reopened yet. ^^;

There’s a commission queue that gotten clogged up due to having to shift most of my attention on something that suddenly came up IRL. (Maybe I’ll mention what it was specifically in the future.) It was kinda financial thing too, and I underestimated the work to be done; so I thought it’s the better decision not to do refunds with intention to still finish the orders regardless.

Well turned out it was not the better decision. Everything’s only just’ve gotten significantly better last month so I'm getting a much better hold of the commission queue too. Though I have to refund two pieces because my laptop can’t handle the file size anymore. I cannot stress how thankful I am to the patience of these clients! Pretty sure I'd getting an ass-whooping if I was less lucky. 😬 

Maybe I’ll do mini commissions when I’m like 75% clear on the commission queue, things that will only take 3-5 days to complete, to help pay online debt faster. 🤔

So, yeah, I’ll announce when any commissions are up again! Thanks for reading!! If you’re one of the clients on the mentioned queue who hadn’t had their order completed and would like to ask for a refund as well, DM me and we’ll see what we can do!

#Some of the commissions will have a price increase though. They really need to. #And like I really would love to have the time to open requests too. Those were fun. #Nasty experience man I am only ever take one commissions at a time after this queue #my shiz #my text #commission deets #I'll thinking of removing some of commission types I offered before #Like the minicomic and the sketch-type commissions #Replace it with chibis and simple YCH #no wait... sketch type commissions do usually take only 3-5 days if the details isn't..well...too detailed #So sketch-type commissions might still stay up #I don't know if I can do comic commission like the more detailed one until I get this laptop fixed #So the comics that aren't doodles or chibi-like won't be back for a while in general #Which sucks. The feeling of the pay-off after making one of those relatively bigger comics was really nice. #And I mean like it's even a bummer that I'm planning on doing commissions full time! I actually forgot I was planning that! wth #Yeah I gotta finish this queue ASAP so I can reopen commissions so I can get this laptop fixed. lol #Wait no wait perhaps I should push the idea of making commissions full time further back so I can stay with my current jobs in the meanwhile #Really don't wanna get a double whammy on the bad decision thingy. :/ #Bruh why do keep typing stuff at 3 am my brain can't keep up with my own thoughts this late. #Oh wait. I remembered why I was considering removing sketch type commissions.

[cloudsrust]

May not have died going out for lunch but it sure took out a lot of my social energies- still haven't recovered.

But thank you so much to who sent me kind messages <3 they were so nice to read,, I'll do my best to answer once I have more time/energy-

#the cloud can speak oh boi #it was a nice experience but- so many people #plus had to sit right in front of the only person I just despise- #condescending behaviour and they like to use the wrong gender with me and the other enby artist- just lovely .. not <3 #they were more chill this time around but once you manage to get me of all people to hate you- yeah I'm not letting go that easy #that aside- yeah.. it was quite alright- but I left very drained #the bits of social energy I had left were spent with calls and reunions for our game project #so yeah- I'm now completely devoid of social strenght and late with my assignments woohoo! #on the bright side I'm making a cute robot/android design <3

[rosykims]

i know ive been gone soooo unbelievably long for the 17th time but i actually have no choice but to come back and post because im like 60 hours into my 2nd playthru with the same oc and only just know realized how absolutely perfect she is as durge. and now ive lost all interest in this playthru bc its no longer canon compliant in my head. whats wrong with me

#oc: lilithira #me about t o start my third playing with the same character romancing the same fucked up little vampire and experience the exact same level #of joy :) #diagnose me PLEASE #i feel s o weird coming back. ive said it before but returning after a long absence feels like #the walk of shame u do coming out of ur bedroom with all ur dirty dishes #ur family out in the living room like ''SHE LIVES'' like yeah. somehow. barely ! but its nice to be back! #i miss the moots always #and if anybody wants to add me on steam shoot me a dm maybe ! #and maybe being back and talking about my babygirlbaby will actually help me develop her more #nearly 2 whole playthrus and she jsut WASNT clicking. a side effect of her not rly being made for bg3. but alas #making her dark urge actually fixes so many issues im SO excited to talk ab t her actually #god. now just to decide if i should give up this playthru despite literally being half way thru act 3 :)

[mangostar]

watched all the cars movies and. Literllay what was with the second movie being like that

#ive never seen cars 2 or 3 before so uh. yeah #i liked cars 3 it was nice... 2 was. an experience #i remember playing the cars ds game and loving it #all ive done today is watch movies i need to actually do smth productive (i dont want to) #anywya. gonna watch raya the last dragon ive heard literally nth abt this movie so i have no idea if its ok or bad